Overconfidence

[TaniaInTas]

Many of you on this site have inspired me. I have been dressing to varying degrees for many years, and the urges are getting stronger as I age.
Recently I decided that I just had to go shopping en femme.

I have never been happy with my body shape, nor my facial appearance when attempting to look female. A couple of key purchases sorted out the body shape issue I thought, and when an absolutely delightful young women worked her magic on my face (plus some sunglasses) I felt the best ever.
So I headed off to the neighbouring city, convinced in my own mind that I was just another woman goinf shopping.
Unfortunately I got quite a surprise. Is seemed just about everyone i passed made me - judging by looks and reactions. So this hit really hard. Previously, when I did not present so well, I noticed these reactions but took them in my stride, because I was expecting them. But this time they really knocked me about because I thought I was presenting so much better.
Anyway thank you for this medium to be able vent a little.

[litlejohn]

I have not made it out other than a brief gas and go, got away without incident. You look good but maybe too good. From what I've collected in the advice department is don't stand out or you will be looked at even closer. Love the outfit.

[Tracii G]

You probably stood out too much but hey live and learn.
I have been clocked a lot so don't worry too much.

[noeleena]

Hi,

As to being looked at pretty much all the time your in my turf i do expect it i would think there was some wrong if no one looked hard at me. a bit different,
My dress style is very different than yours, yet is more in keeping with women , winter, though you may see it in another way.

as to clothes normal, allmost nill make up . facial wise is where i fail. i sure dont look like a woman.
& no its not wether i wear make up that does nothing for me, just my looks.

Oh dear just realised your over the ditch

Ill be there on sunday going to Tas for 6 days then Syd Katoomba, 18 to 20 th be with a group of 80 of us from T R. trans we,ll be at the Carrington Hotel. then ill up to Bris, after, 4 weeks in all.

hard to say why you were looked at so much .maybe they just thought you were dressed for summer. well its winter here, he he .......

...noeleena...

[JessHaust]

Enough can not be said for age appropriate clothes. I'm not trying to be mean or catty, but a touch more skirt length would help keep down the stares.

[Sara Jessica]

The makeup job, assuming what you present as your avatar is how you looked close up on the day you describe, is skilled but too dramatic for daytime. The eyebrows really jump out as being quite bold. Couple that with a dress that is pretty much clubwear and you are asking for the attention you received. If this is what you want and you were content with the result, then by all means continue along your path. But if you wish to blend in better, best to dress the part, both makeup and attire, to blend in with what the natal females are wearing.

[kimdl93]

First of all, its unrealistic for most of us to expect to go out without being "read". Shapewear and make up can only do so much.

but, as others have noted, when going out in public, its important to dress appropriate to the situation and IMHO appropriate for your age. In the picture you're wearing a pretty, but rather short, lacy dress and boots. Was that the outfit you wore? If so, did you happen to see any other women similarly attired? In my honest opinion, its just a bit too short, and to "dressy" for a casual day of shopping. It might be something a younger woman might wear clubbing, don't you think?

[Jenniferathome]

I have to echo the comments of Sara Jesseca and Jess. The ability to blend in is made by 100's of cues. You can't give any obvious non-blending cues or women will pick up on it instantly. Your best bet is to go people watching at the mall, first. When at the mall, I'll bet 95%+ of the women were in pants or shorts almost none wear dresses. That's a big give away and the lament of all crossdressers. Was anyone wearing boots? Unlikely now that it is spring. The dress, as pointed out, is something you'd find on a 20 year old going out clubbing. Age appropriate does not mean "frumpy" but if you want to blend, you have to dress much closer to the women in your age group OR you'll get looked at with far more scrutiny and made as a result. You can go out and have fun, just target your look to the occasion and location. Good luck

[Barbara Ella]

Tania, you undoubtedly got a lot of second and third looks. the dress, boots, and look are exquisite, and the look from behind is fabulous. My wife would be hitting me if you were walking in front.

Made, perhaps, but certainly many were looks of just who is that girl.

Barbara

[Paula_56]

Observe what other women your age are wearing, you'll have no problem!!!

[Abby74]

My girl friends are teaching me walking and standing. With glasses on and standing straight guy but if you had a curve no so much. So don't make the same mistake I did if you can't pass. We picked a cheap hotel in a bad area well the guy that saw me made a big deal about it. Picked a nicer hotel and ate dinner with friends dressed around halloween. Boy this one little girl couldn't get her eyes off me but funny was her dad kept stopping her from looking.

[kendra_gurl]

The dress, as pointed out, is something you'd find on a 20 year old going out clubbing. Age appropriate does not mean "frumpy" but if you want to blend, you have to dress much closer to the women in your age group OR you'll get looked at with far more scrutiny and made as a result. You can go out and have fun, just target your look to the occasion and location. Good luck

Even a 20 year old GG would turn lots of heads wearing that outfit. Pink Fog strikes again. I understand dressing the way you enjoy seeing yourself...go for it..just don't expect to do it in public without any reactions

[StevieTV]

Blending is the key. Next time try wearing something you noticed the other girls wearing during your first trip.

[Chickhe]

You have too much gamma to blend in. If that's your goal you have to go way more boring and subtle to pull it off. Less is sometimes more when trying to pass...

[Kimberlyfaye]

I would agree with the others about the clothing. I own something similar to that dress and I bought it for going out to a club. I'm mid 20's and I wouldn't wear it just out and about in town. There's nothing wrong with it and you certainly have the figure to suit it. But something more suited to your age would help you blend in much more :-)

[Claire Cook]

I go along with what others have said about blending in, not standing out. The last time I went to a mall in a red dress I definitely felt over-dressed, and uncomfortably obvious.

[Stephanie47]

I think my opinion has been already stated; blend into the landscape. Right now the tulips in my front yard all blend in together, except for a small group of very deep purple ones that have every long stems. Those tulips draw everybody's attention. They stand out in the crowd. Blend in, unless you really want to be that special purple tulip.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Ditto on what everyone else has been saying. Love the "look" but it will get many looks and if you are tring to blend you need to wear what the other woman are wearing. Don't get me wrong, I would wear just what you wore because I love it, I would have had on a nice pair of strappy sandals though, not big on boots. As I have said before, I don't worry about what anyone else says about me, I dress the way I want and if I get looks and stares so be it.

[~Joanne~]

I love the look but unfortunately I have to agree with all the other girls here, You wanted to pass but the outfit gave you away. Something more casual would have drawn you less attention. Next time try wearing something along the lines of what the GG's in your area are wearing or even something less sheer and club like. In the first pic you can see your thong, that alone drew alot of unwanted attention.

Like alot of girls also stated, getting clocked isn't out of the ordinary so stay on the horse hon, the ride may get easier in the future:)

[Beverley Sims]

Yes the outfit would turn a lot of heads. I rather like it, although a couple of criticisms.
You have legs similar to mine... A little thin. Lower the dress and raise the boots would be my solution, that way you are not showing too much leg.
Stance wise, keep your feet closer together that would enhance the look a lot more.
I agree the outfit is not for day wear but at night, clubbing, I love it.
I think I would even wear the sunglasses at night. In Las Vegas you could still see with all the light there.
I would like to see you in a black poloneck sweater with a dangly necklace and object on the end and wear skinny jeans with the boots.
You would still turn some heads in the daytime but shopping would be easier.
Tania, I am not being critical and don't intend to hurt and I hope what I have said is of help.
Beverley...
To Noeleena,
Yes I think Tasmania is a little island south of the West Island of NZ.:)
If the moderators think I have offended please edit.
I think this is what Tania would want to know.

[TaniaInTas]

Thank you to everyone, who took the time to provide feedback. It is all valued very much.
It is true that I am torn between the wanting to fit in, but also being able to dress how i really like it.

A couple of qualifications/clarifications
The makeup for that day was much more subtle than the avatar. The avatar was a deliberate over the top at someones request.
Even though it was mid autumn, it was warm enough. But I accept everyone's comment that the dress was not really a casual shopping dress.
I was not wearing a thong. I had a full panty on, and then some shapewear pants.

But thank You all again - it is good to feel accepted here.