Doing a job as a female.

[Kimberlyfaye]

Could I get some advice please ladies?

I'm a little unhappy.

I am not TS or TG. I am just a CD. But I do sometimes feel as though if I were to transition it would not be fully. With this in mind I have a question about my job. If I were to find a new job what are the chances I could be/dress as Mikayla?
What I mean by this is if I leave my job now and started dressing all the time could I apply for new jobs as Mikayla? I know this may not be possible as legally I'm not her.

Can anyone offer me advice on this as I really want to pass, dress and work as Mikayla.

Thanks girls x

[Antoinette]

That surely is a tough one. All I can think of is a waitress or bartender. I'd love to work for once. My other half is always doing all the work lol. (I may even make more tips than he would lol)

[Kaz]

Legally you are male and so in any job application that is what you are... but you could come clean in the application and state your preferred gender identity etc... The chances are you will not get interviews unless someone is wanting to hit their diversity target! And there are lots of UK organisations tryting to do just this! Especially in the public sector.

I work for a UK University and I know someone who has come out. OK he was originally employed as a 'usual' male, but she now dresses openly and has done for a year or so. Another UK University close to this one also has an open CD working there. Both are in Admin work working primarily with other women.

Some tensions but mostly supported by their team.

[JessHaust]

The legality depends entirely on your local laws. But see Jackie's post about going to work at Verizon. She is having very good luck and did not have to quit one job and look for another .

[noeleena]

Hi,

You can change your name to any thing you wont by deed poll. so if its a female name you can , as for you r birth certs no allthough if you are trans & have a G Ps cert to say you are then that to can be changed with out surgery,or your on hormones that can not reverse you back to male , theres a bit more of cause this is just the nut shell detail, if its not being done yet it is coming thats in the u k .

Your inland revenue number will remain the same,

See births deaths & marrages have a talk with them for details & a word with your G P or go to the gender center in London. or Charing Cross,

any way at least youll know,

...noeleena...

[Kate Simmons]

The only thing I know is that unless you legally change your name you have to work under the name on your Social Security card.:) Edit: I'm not sure what the rules for working are in the UK as far as ID or whatever.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

volunteer at a shelter, library or food bank.. a place where you can just show up and help out...

Also don't count on passing, you will likely be disappointed..

if you are hired as male then there are some places where you may be accepted, and certainly transition is something that can be done in many workplaces...

[Cheryl T]

To begin you might look for something at a Gay club. They may be accommodating to your wish to work dressed and that way you would have a starting point to see if it's really viable. From there you could assess your options and see where it leads.

[Tina B.]

Gee, not to get off subject, but you want to work as a women everyday, but you don't think you are TS, or TG? Why? I mean why are you not at least TG, if not TS, if it means that much to you to do this?
In the states, the trouble would be with Social Security, and Tax reports, I think you would have to be pretty honest with the boss at least, not sure about your side of the pond.
Tina B.

[kimdl93]

I just have a few questions. What's your current occupation? Have you checked to see what reaction, if any, you might expect at your current job? Do you want to be dressed more often in the company of other people or do you simply want to spend more time dressed? Could you work from home?

I don't see any reason you couldn't apply and present at interviews en femme, so long as you're honest about your identity. Some potential employers may object - others may not. That's a risk you take, unless you decide to pursue a legal change in status, which doesn't appear to be your intent.

I really liked Kaitlyn's suggestion that you try volunteering en femme. Non profit organizations are desparate for volunteers and likely to enthusiastically welcome your contribution of time, regardless of how you may chose to present yourself.

[Contessa]

I don't know anyone thing from another but you can just work as a woman in your mind. Until you decide to come out sort of speak from behind your curtain. I have already done this and there was no better relief. I think you can do the same as you want with your current job. To hide in plain sight. There is one difference, no forms till leaving. And no skirts or dresses. Because every thing else can look the same. Don't use any flamboyance though it tends to show gay. Female slacks and jeans if they fit and fem tops work fine and people will look and may ask but a neat appearance should not be too much of a problem. Also stay away from shorts with pantyhose too. Use flat shoes as heels call attention. Unless you want to where boots all the time. Foundation and faint degree eye shadow, it may be detected but if not gawdy may be okay.

Then talk to management about the limits or procedures. I will have to get another Id and have two. Although I am not sure why cause they don't show boobs just faces. I guess I will have to go to H R en femme and that will be fun anyway. I just think first to see what you can get away with that will not get you fired. Names also work tell others to call you Mikaylafaye. If they would like not forcing the issue as you are a CD.

Talking to and with management first will always help with how it turns out for them and keeping secrets about what your wearing will always work out for you. Don't listen to me though, I don't anything but I intend to go get something like leaving on friday en femme.

Tess

[JenniferR771]

its easy to work as a woman--provided--you are self-employed. Look into it. Contract worker--doing the same job at your same company, but independent. Doing your same job, but starting your own firm. Find a new occupation, but self-employed. Perhaps a "side job" where you can be self employed as a woman on nights or weekends. Is it possible--i am sure others have done it. Lets hear from you.

[Stephanie47]

You need to check out your local laws concerning presenting as a woman. In Washington State the laws protect cross dressers from discrimination. Several cities enhanced the protection. Now the question arises. If you show up for a job interview en femme and clearly state you want to work appearing as a woman, will you be hired? Although discrimination may be illegal you will never know whether the employer decided your appearance may be disruptive and decided not to consider you. The alternative is to get hired and work through any probationary period, and,then appear en femme. Here, you cannot be fired because you're a cross dresser.

Frankly, I'd follow the recommendation others have posted of having a part time job. Being a server at a local restaurant or club catering to alternative lifestyles may work for you. In my city there was a family restaurant that had cross dressing entertainers on the weekend evenings. Of course, the crowd was there because of the acceptance of the lifestyle; gays, lesbians, cross dressers. I'd be 100% certain a cross dresser would be welcomed on the waitstaff of the restaurant. That type of situation may give you an idea as to whether your expectations would actually be met.

[Kimberlyfaye]

Thank you all for your responses. They are helping me make a better judgement.

I do like the idea of a part time job waiting tables or serving somewhere. I wouldn't have the time though as my male work takes up too much time.
Kim, as for working en femme, no chance of that. It's very male orientated and I would take so much flak if my colleagues found out. And if I turned up as a female. It just wouldn't be the right place. That is another reason why I would like to find a job where I could be Mikayla. I do want to dress freely as a female around others in my daily life and in work.

Now as for the TG/TS thing. Tina, I have no idea what I am. What category I fall into. If you ladies can work it out from what I will say next, by all means let me know. I have no desire to lose my male sexual organs. I want to appear and be refered to as a female yet I will always know I'm genetically male. Despite me knowing this I just want to project my outer exterior to the world as a female. The transition for me would go as far as having breasts, more of a feminine voice, hair and no more facial hair, if that describes it ok.

[lori m crawford]

me if i was yong a gan like 20-30 i wood try it a lot has in the world form the 50-60-70s to know i thank if you got a good job dont do oney to take it a way you cood lose in the long run

[Lyric]

I do want to dress freely as a female around others in my daily life and in work.

Well, as with everyone, your employment depends upon your background, skills and the kind of work you like to do. It sound like your present job isn't an option, therefore you'll need to either find a similar job with a business that tolerates the way you wish to dress or you'll need to go into a different field. Jennifer's idea is an excellent one. Create your own self-employment situation. That's what I did. Such a big change is very risky, though, so you'll need to decide if it's worth it for you.

~ Lyric ~

[sometimes_miss]

Hmmm. Telemarketer. Toll collector. Phone operator or phone support person (though you may have to move to Bangalore for that job). midnight computer operator. Worm farmer. Taxi driver. Long distance train engineer. Bridge operator. Helicoptor news reporter or pilot. Pretty much anything where you're isolated from nearly everyone.

[gender_blender]

As someone who has worked retail as a fulltime female, I would say that being able to do so can hinge on the ability to pass in public (if not, there could be possible complaints) unless you don't directly deal with clients face-to-face (such as IT work). It's amazing, but takes alot of work to maintain.

Many places have started including gender expression in non-discrimination laws, but I would be careful because you're still male on paper.

[Babeba]

I've seen a tg woman working at a secondhand clothing shop. She was nice.

I second the volunteering. I know for a fact that the National Trust is trans friendly, when I was interning there I had a conversation with our site's visitor services manager about that, actually.

[Tina B.]

Thank you all for your responses. They are helping me make a better judgement.

I do like the idea of a part time job waiting tables or serving somewhere. I wouldn't have the time though as my male work takes up too much time.
Kim, as for working en femme, no chance of that. It's very male orientated and I would take so much flak if my colleagues found out. And if I turned up as a female. It just wouldn't be the right place. That is another reason why I would like to find a job where I could be Mikayla. I do want to dress freely as a female around others in my daily life and in work.

Now as for the TG/TS thing. Tina, I have no idea what I am. What category I fall into. If you ladies can work it out from what I will say next, by all means let me know. I have no desire to lose my male sexual organs. I want to appear anrefereedfered to as a female yet I will always know I'm genetically male. Despite me knowing this I just want to project my outer exterior to the world as a female. The transition for me would go as far as having breasts, more of a feminine voice, hair and no more facial hair, if that describes it ok.

I don't think what you are is based on what you want to do, as much as why. I consider myself to be TG, because I am driven by forces that makes me dress or suffer bouts of depression, and all that goes with it, if I was not compelled to dress, I would be happy to just be a guy, I have no want or need to mapermanentemenant changes to my body, have no thoughts that I am a women trapped in the wrong body, so I'm not TS, so that leaves just a guy that dresses up, but is driven to do it, so there must be a reason, and I would call that being TG.
Tina B.

[suchacutie]

This is more common that we are making it out to be. Many people use different names in their work environment. I once had a boss (female) who used one name at work and another one in her private life. One name was her professional name, simple as that.

There is also the notion that has interested me for a long time, and that is a DBA identity, i.e. Doing Business As. Usually this is done within the same gender, but I can't imagine that the name and the gender have anything to do with it.

Do we have any lawyers on the forum to give us a heads up about this procedure?

tina

[Tracii G]

Very interesting thread I would love to have the chance to work presenting as a female.
Check the company gender guidelines there might be a job within your company that would allow you to do something like this.

[Kimberlyfaye]

Tina B, would you say I might be TG then?
I share a couple of the feelings you stated. I am happy to keep my male sexual organs yet I do feel that I'm a woman trapped in a mans body. A woman who would want male parts. I find that I'm happy when I look in the mirror and staring back at me is the girl inside. I just want to live as Mikayla.

Tracii G, I don't want to continue working where I am if I were to appear as Mikayla, even if I could. I want to start fresh. I was thinking writing might be a good option as I could possibly use a pen name. Even though I would still legally be male I could write as a female. Also starting my own business could be a viable option.

[Lesley_Roberta]

My view, well I can't see it being any more severe than getting fired.

So you lied on the application, so they fired you in a fashion that if you were really female they likely couldn't fire you as easily. It's a fair trade off.

My suggestion, if you want to be a woman, be one. If the application asks gender, say female. What are they going to do, tell you to flash them? If the job is some form of high security clearance, well it's folly to even begin to try and fool them.

Can you actually DO the job as a female? I mean sure, they hire real females as fire fighters, but a real female won't be worried about being exposed as being one. So showering with other female fire fighters is not a problem for real females.

Getting hired by an office to do office work is not what I call a problem. Getting hired as a female teacher might end up a problem. School trip and you end up chaperoning girls. Yeah that might not fly.

Could you work at an auto plant as a woman?
Could you do construction work as a woman?

I have some business training. In my view, a worker is someone that is there to make me money. If I had a choice between a high skilled cross dresser or a hohum example of a person that was genuine female, I'm picking the skilled person. If I found out the 'female' was actually a guy, it would be a source of laughs, and then nothing more. It would impact office banter around the water cooler maybe.

[Kimberlyfaye]

Thanks for all your support and advice ladies. I've decided to look into volunteer work for the time being. I am searching around and will ask what certain companies opinions and rules are on CDers and TGs. I'm also thinking about speaking to a doctor about whether I might be TG. So if it does get to a point of transition I know where I stand, be it in heels or not :-P

Mikayla x

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I think that's great mikayla...

the next thing you need to do is be more open minded about your own self... cd/tg/ts are labels...some will argue them, but only you can decide on your life..the feelings you have right now around your body parts are fluid...trust me , i know...

i would say that this need you have is pointing you in a certain direction that you are smart to explore... pls keep your expectations low...it is more than likely that people will know...up close and personal passing is uncommon even for ts women.

life is lived in 3d, when you see people every day your wig will become apparent , your voice will subtly change day to day no matter how good it is...you can't just turn it on and off perfectly every day...etcetc...but if you are a good person, you are very likely going to find that you won't care and you will be treated as female because people will like and respect you for who you are..

good luck

[Kimberlyfaye]

Thanks Kaitlyn. I know I wont pass as easy as I would like but if people accept me as female I might feel a little better.

I can't believe what I've just done. I emailed someone about a volunteer position in a shop! I asked them how they feel about transgendered people working there and that I would like to be accepted as female. I might have been rather dumb doing it but I have to know. I will let you all know what happens. I can do the job around my male job so I hope they get back to me.

Mikayla x

[Kimberlyfaye]

I have some news ladies. I got an email today about volunteering. The woman got in touch and said she took a while to reply as the shop has been a bit busy lately. But good news, she said I can go for a chat over a cup of tea and she would love me to volunteer. And she thanked me for being honest and that I can go however I feel comfortable! I'm a little nervous now lols. I will email her later and arrange a visit.

So I would say to any ladies out there, if you want something take the risk and go for it. It could work out for you.

Hugs x

[natacsha]

Congrats!! Thats soo cool Mikayla! :D

[Dawn cd]

It depends a lot on the kind of job you applying for. For instance, are you interacting with the public or are you working in a private space [eg, lab assistant]? If the latter, you might be able to wear female clothes in that private space if the employer allows it. Even so, you would have to use your male identity (name & SS#) in company records. Beware, though, since your ASKING to wear female clothes might lead the employer to withdraw his job offer.

[Sara Jean]

when I was shopping at torrid today I seen they were looking to hire some new people. so when I was checking out I asked the store manager about what were my chances of being hired if i were to apply. i'm a semi regular customer at this store so she knows about both my sides but has never seen Sara in person only photos. we talked for a few minutes and I told her I know officially it would be have to be (insert male name) working but if I was hired it would be Sara doing the work. she was going to have me fill out an app then but i declined due to I'm going to be out of town till October, she told me to take an app and come see her when i get back that they are going to be looking for seasonal help by then