so confused about my feelings

[Kelly Blaine]

I am posting this here since I feel like I may get a straight answer.

I always considered myself as a CD or maybe leaning towards being transgendered. Yesterday, for the first time, I saw a guy in the Bank and I am thinking what a hunk.


Really can't understand this feeling.

What is happening to me?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

You like guys, thats what happened to you..

enjoy

[christinac]

Just one of many surprises you may encounter as your explore you feminine side. Many of us have encountered that exact situation. My first encounter nearly floored me because where I was raised you did not (if you knew what was good for your health) even joke about the subject of gay, bi, or transgendered. That is what I love about this forum because so many have walked the exact same foot steps and encountered the exact same situations along the way.

There is several old closed threads on the subject that have very enlightening posts for example I remember a thread where the question was asked "Am I Gay". There is an easy way of finding them through the search thing, but we'll have to see if we can sweat talk one of the moderators into give a quick lesson on the search feature because I'm not one hundred percent sure how it works myself.

I searched through some of my old threads and found this one from a couple years ago. http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?83980-Why-Gay&highlight= It started out as a rant, but it kind of drifted into your questioned subject area, so maybe it may help with your question.

[Sharon]

Liking men has nothing at all to do with being transsexual, but -- hey! -- why stop at looking? :)

[Kathy4ever]

I sometimes notice the smell of cologne that a man might be wearing now. I don't think I ever noticed it before so something in me is or has changed.. It is a weird feeling.

[Aprilrain]

gender identity and sexual orientation are two separate issues. There are, for instance, many lesbian TS woman who have no interest in men at all. Personally I'm Bi but lean towards men emotionally, sexually its probably 50/50. For Me none of it worked when I was stuck in the wrong gender.

[Kathryn Martin]

I think that if we were really true to ourselves we would appreciate that human beings are beautiful to look at. I have always appreciated the attractiveness of male and female, and have been able to express this. Society has ordained that a man looking at a man and finding him beautiful is inappropriate that why we even pause. I am bi, so my orientation matches what in my view is normal, namely to just appreciate beauty.

I don't want to jump every girl and guy I see, and I suppose neither do you. But it i lovely to engage in some window shopping sometimes.

[emmicd]

I believe that a MtF TG who transitions and is under the influence of female hormones for an extended period of time will start to realze physical and emotional changes consistent to the gender they identify as and would start to be attracted to men where before they were attracted to women. I am a MtF transgender and I am heterosexual. I am born male, I identify as female in my mind but I am only attracted to women. I love my wife very much. With that said I do believe that if I were to start and stay on HRT and transition, the influence of female hormones would allow my mind to be female as I have always felt and there is a very real possibility that I would then be attracted to men. I certainly know that if I went through the whole process up to and including GRS or SRS then I would wish to experience life fully as a female which includes having a relationship.

I believe that most crossdressers are heterosexual and are not gay but society believes if you are a CD or TG you are automatically gay and that thinking is the furthest thing from the truth. Most TG/TS are married with children. It sounds like you are TG and exploring who you are and you may have feelings towards men. This may be a fantasy when you are crossdressed, I don't know but it seems that you may look into considering therapy and see where on the TG/TS spectrum you are after much reflection and thought. Good Luck!

emmi

[Bree-asaurus]

I believe that a MtF TG who transitions and is under the influence of female hormones for an extended period of time will start to realze physical and emotional changes consistent to the gender they identify as and would start to be attracted to men where before they were attracted to women. I am a MtF transgender and I am heterosexual. I am born male, I identify as female in my mind but I am only attracted to women. I love my wife very much. With that said I do believe that if I were to start and stay on HRT and transition, the influence of female hormones would allow my mind to be female as I have always felt and there is a very real possibility that I would then be attracted to men. I certainly know that if I went through the whole process up to and including GRS or SRS then I would wish to experience life fully as a female which includes having a relationship.

I believe that most crossdressers are heterosexual and are not gay but society believes if you are a CD or TG you are automatically gay and that thinking is the furthest thing from the truth. Most TG/TS are married with children. It sounds like you are TG and exploring who you are and you may have feelings towards men. This may be a fantasy when you are crossdressed, I don't know but it seems that you may look into considering therapy and see where on the TG/TS spectrum you are after much reflection and thought. Good Luck!

emmi

Sexual orientation does not change because of the introduction of hormones of the opposite sex.

Whatever your sexual orientation is, it's always been there. If it 'changes' that's because you weren't being entirely truthful with yourself from the beginning.

Just like you can repress your gender identity for years and convince yourself that you're a gender that you are not, sexual identity can be repressed as well. You can convince yourself that you are the straightest person in the world, and fully believe it, without it being true.

The reason some people's sexual orientations 'change' is because once they start being honest with themselves about being transexual, it starts to open up the floodgates. You'll start questioning other things about yourself as well... because you realize that it feels good to be yourself and admit to yourself who you really are.

I realized I liked men before HRT, before transitioning, before fully accepting that I was transexual. Once I accepted that I liked men, it was easier to take a look in the mirror and question other things, like my gender identity.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

The OP is hinting with "ive always been cd, but leaning towards tg" and "what is happening to me" that he is turning into a transsexual, or turning gay....thats not how it works

its very possible that "checking out guys" is another way to crossdress and feel femme, and its possible that the OP is discovering more about his sexuality, and its possible that this is the beginning of a long journey i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy..(aimed at the pink fog)...

The depths of false self dialogue is something that i would not believe if i hadn't experienced it myself..

[Julia_in_Pa]

Kelly,

Whereas you would like an answer to your question perhaps it's easier to just allow yourself to be attracted to who your attracted to without writing more into it.
You being a CD or other has little if anything to do with your physical attractions to other human beings.
Nothing is happening to you.



Julia