A New Entry for the Etiquette Books -- Celebrating a GCS

[Beth-Lock]

Times change and so must our notions of what is proper etiquette. It seems though that there is yet a gap in our formal repertoires for celebratiion or mere marking of the major event of having had Gender Correction Surgery. As far as I know, there is no greeting card for friends to give to mark such an event. You could not call it a 'shower' either, could you? Rude references to such thing as a Pussy Party, or some other word play of an unsavoury type, would definitely not be welcomed as a potential adidtion to the world of etiquette. After all, our community needs acceptance and celebration of suchan event to be normalizedin a way to command respect.

Of course, if a cake is ordered, you can get the bakers to put anything you want in gel icing script on the top provided it is not actually obscene. (Risque greetings, you would have to do yourself, after buying a tube of the decorative gel and mustering your best handwriting talents).

The commemoration of the event by a printed, wedding invitation style announcement would be quite do-able now that kits are available to run such printed pieces off on any computer with a decent printer. The text might go: Today we annonce the emergece of a beautiful, newly female butterfly from the drab cocoon of maleness, by celebrating the recent gender change surgery of..."

The giving of gifts to the newly gender changed celebrant, would of course be welcomed and provided they were in good taste and practical, raise the tone.

I think a nice bottle of bubbly, perhaps some sort of champagne-like beverage would be in order, but if it is too soon after the surgery, maybe not, as abstinence from alcohol is generally recommended for a number of weeks after the surgery.

One thing to ask our members here is whether they have ever attended such a celebration, and so can speak from experience.

[LeaP]

Personally, I can't imagine a celebratory event beyond a small private dinner (or something) for something so private and frankly, so misunderstood. The heartfelt expressions of those you know among trans people who understand, as well as the closest of close friends, seems most appropriate to me. An announcement just sounds way over the top. It will interesting to hear others' opinions, though.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Beth,

I have not attended such.
Most friends that have had SRS have received the usual " It's a girl " balloon assortment from me.



Julia

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Its an interesting thought, but I have not seen this happen..

Beth I think what you are posting is something i would have thought about prior to GRS, but something i would never think about after...

One mistake i feel i made was telling alot of people about my surgery and so as the date came, people were curious, and afterwards it felt very awkward..

It was not a big deal either way, but on balance, i wish i just took a vacation and came back post surgery.. The closer to the date, the more personal and private it felt to me... i recall a friend came to support me and i kind of didn't want her there, my family came to support flying across the country, but i asked them to come on day 2,3 and after, i can't explain why, but that's how i felt...

I may be the exception tho...i stayed in arizona 9 or 10 days...and as i recovered a number of ts people from arizona visited me..and a couple of them talked incessantly about their vaginas...so much so it put me off...

[EnglishRose]

Oo, new greetings cards!

"2 4 6 8

Can't wait to dilate."

...on second thoughts maybe no.

[Beth-Lock]

I just got the urge to think of celebrating, should I get through Gender Correction Surgery. I also probably overshare about everything in my personal life and no doubt oversharing about any GCS coming would be part of that. Certainly I would expect some who are just acquaintances to be well-wishers, though my urge to actually celebrate would be just among a few of my closest friends. However, at this point, whether or not I will have GCS is still up in the air, and that is the main reason I would not want to share with everyone. It may not happen soon or ever.

In the end, I am divided between wanting to share news of GCS and become a sort of celebrity among a small circle of acquaintances, and keep quiet about it, and even pretend to myself that I have always been female down there and in every other way. Of course the latter would be living a lie, to my way of thinking.

Today I talked to my counseller and she agreed that I still have issues about being accepted as a woman, and that this would require further counselling even after GCS.

For example, I still get harassed in public, and though I have a bit of a sense of humour about it, I am still not confident enough to put into practice what I learned from Tom Green about staring back intermittently, when people stare at you. I just overdo and overreact by really pointedly staring back at people! I should have taken to heart Tom Green's example long ago.

One example of not adjusting to others' overinterest in my gender status, is the way I have gone through four churches in two years, getting upset and even paranoid about gossiping about me behind my back, etc. So, celebrating appears to be a two-edged sword. Even admitting being trans is a sore point with me at least in the church.

Nobody suggested though that a special church ceremony be staged for me to mark my transition to being even more of a woman via GCS. This too is a ritual that we are lacking though one was staged at a church I used to go to, for a man, just as he was saying good-bye to his male things and life, before coming out and living full-time as a woman. It took a really extraordinary (Anglican) priest to do that, I realize.

But considering all I have been through, after having GCS I should jolly well be entitled to a celebration!

[Sharon]

My Hallmark Card contribution:

Congratulations on your grade improvement from a D to a C !!! (appropriate solely for male to female :) )

Yeah, it might be more suitable for a less staid greeting card company. :D

[Kristy_K]

As much as I want my SRS and knowing how happy it will make me feel to be complete. I just couldn't imagine have a party or anything like that. Maybe it's just I don't want to remind people I was a male before.

I just want to get on with my life as a woman.