I've been found out again.

[Chrissy]

My spouse has found my breastforms and did something with them. Not sure what but now I either confront her about them or let them go. She hasn't said anything to me but she probably thinks i won't. I really don't need this stress. Gurls give me some ideas.

[Beth Mays]

Not to ask where they went is the same as give in...
Its a mater of what you want.

[STACY B]

Do what I did ,,,,,,,, Heyyyyyyyyyy BABY ,,, Seen my TITS ????/ Ohhhhh OK,,, Got em ,,, Thanx ,,

[AllieSF]

One way or another you both need to have a direct conversation. Now, appears to be the time. Unless you misplaced them, don't ask - don't tell does not work. Good luck with the conversation.

[Noemi]

Do what I did ,,,,,,,, Heyyyyyyyyyy BABY ,,, Seen my TITS ????/ Ohhhhh OK,,, Got em ,,, Thanx ,,

Spacey Stacey, You really make me laugh, like a tat that says LOL!! Thank you!!

Honey get the forms back, talk about the 800 pound gorilla. I do not know your situation, but you can not explain BF's away, not even with an attorney present.
Tell her. Its over anyway if there is no truth. Sorry to say, really you have my compassion here as well. Not easy being a CD, sorry(hug hug hug)

♥
Noemi

[docrobbysherry]

Chrissy, partners who either can't or r unwilling to communicate properly with their partner r doomed to an unhappy marriage or separation!

That is why there r so many therapists in the US! Because you're FAR from being alone if u and your SO have communication problems! Do what u need to do! Only u and her know what that is!

[prettytoes]

Hard for me to tell you what you should do here. Only you know your wife. My wife found my clothes just over a year ago and after a long talk I am able to express my femme side much more than I ever dreamed I would be able to.
It did end up well for me (see my post "one year and 500 posts later"), but I do regret that I didn't tell her on my own; rather than her finding my stash of clothes. I fealt very ashamed when she held up a pink sports bra (along with several skirts, ect.) and asked whose it was. More ashamed that I never told her than of the clothes. We have been married for 28 yrs, and she is the love of my life.
Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

[Launa]

It looks like now is the time to talk to her, go do it just make sure you're well rested before you talk because the discussion might last for a few hours or all night long. Let er rip

[Being Paige]

I would just ask for them back. If she won't then get another pair and find a better place to put them. That is what I would do. Personaly I have all my stuff locked up just because my wife is not so supportive and so I don't want her routing through my cothes.

[RADER]

If she did not know about your dressing until now, shame on you.
But if she did have knowledge of your desire to dress, than a little respect for you things is
warranted. I would sit her down and ask her if she would like you to throw out her things,
and when she says no, ask her if she has seen your brestforms.
This may not be the best conservation you ever had with your wife, but it is one I believe
you must have, and have real soon. If not, she just might throw out everything you have.
Marriage is give and take, and one does not take from another with out asking first. That just
plane respect for the other person.
Good Luck.
Rader

[JenniferR771]

Wait until midnight and go through the trash.
Cop a feel to be sure she is not wearing them. Then check her underwear drawer.
Or maybe ask to borrow her credit card and go shopping--you want newer and better ones anyway. The silicone full breast plate ones are really nice.

Sister I feel for you--Ms got rid of my best dress, but I have 20 others.

[Chrissy]

Thanks gurls I guess its really up to me and I know that this relationship isn't what it should be or what I want. I have to end it. Thanks for the support it so nice knowing that I'm not alone.

[rachelgirlnw1]

I wish you all the best, Chrissy. That's a hard conversation to have even in the best circumstances and it sounds like you're bracing for the worst. Please come back and chat if it helps.

rachel

[MandyGG]

Thanks gurls I guess its really up to me and I know that this relationship isn't what it should be or what I want. I have to end it. Thanks for the support it so nice knowing that I'm not alone.

Are you saying that you have to end the marriage!?!? Or are you saying that you have to end the "secret"?

Dear lord I hope you do not end the marriage over some hidden boobs!!*

It is not an easy conversation for either side. It is hard. It sheds tears. It hurts. But, if the marriage is worth the fight, then getting through the first part will be worth it in the end. She may have hidden them in hopes that you will TALK about it with her! Of course there is the possibility that they are chopped up into a gazillion pieces and set on fire, but you can't just assume that is what happened! Just because one CD has a wife that is 100% for it, there is another one that has a wife 100% against. You will not know what side of that coin you are on until you find out yourself.

I am a wife. I can tell you right now, that if Audrey hadn't told me as early as she did and I found out by finding clothes and breast forms, I would have hidden them too. I would have done it so that she HAD to come clean. However, if she were to come to me with an attitude about me "invading his space" or "How dare I hide his things!" or forcing me to give them back with no explaination or telling ME to go buy him new ones... He would be single, living on the street, with deformed boobs in seconds. Now is NOT the time to grow balls and yell at her because YOU like to tuck them away in your spare time! Yes, she was wrong to hide them, but seriously, look at what you are hiding from her! Those arent even apples and oranges, they are blueberries and watermelons! Cut the woman some slack and give her credit for not packing your belongings and leaving them on the curb with the boobs taped to a Dear John letter!

[ReineD]

I'm with Mandy on this. You didn't go into any details about the state of your marriage in other matters, but assuming everything else is good, you are wanting to leave the marriage because it is difficult for the two of you to talk about this? Or it is difficult for YOU to talk about this with her?

I read your other post. You did tell your wife in the beginning, but you made a mistake. You agreed with her that you should purge, and you both threw out your clothes together. You had known about yourself since childhood, but you didn't want to lose her and so you purged. Without realizing it, you reinforced to her the idea that the CDing is wrong, or it was something that you could do easily without. I don't know how many years it has been, but she really has not been given a chance to learn that it is a part of you.

In another post you wrote that she will leave you if she finds out that you are CDing again. This may be true, but you don't really know until you FACE it head on with her. She may surprise you. If you love her, please don't give up on her. At the same time, you need to tell her WHO YOU ARE.

It may be hard for you to understand this since you've known nothing other than living in your own skin all your life, but most people have no clue what is non-conforming gender. Many people believe the CDing is something that can be turned off and on. Members in this forum know otherwise, and your wife needs to understand this as well. Until she does understand this (and it will take A LOT of talking and maybe some tears), she will continue to believe that if you really loved her you would stop and if you don't stop it is because you care more about the CDing than her. But we all know the CDing has absolutely nothing to do with how much you love her.

Your wife deserves to have the chance to learn about this and you need to teach her. You have nothing to lose, since as it stands right now, you're thinking the marriage is over anyway.

[jillleanne]

I'd be suggesting to her if she insists on wearing your boobs, she should at least share her shoe collection. She will eithr laugh or leave which by the sounds of things, is inevitable unless you sit with her, educate her, and come to some sort of agreement. Lying to yourself and her to keep the peace won't last unfortunately. You have some tough decisions ahead of you. Go slow, be honest, and be willing to make concessions and maybe, just maybe, you can make it work.

[Raychel]

Cut the woman some slack and give her credit for not packing your belongings and leaving them on the curb with the boobs taped to a Dear John letter!

I like the way you think Mandy, You make me laugh. Just the visual of the boobs taped to the letter. :heehee:

But seriously, You should definitly talk to her and let her tell you exactly how she feels.

[Stephanie47]

Did you subconsciously leave them in a place where she would find them in order to force a conversation concerning your cross dressing? If she already knows, I would just raise the issue. No chance a grandson picked them up to use as padding in his catcher's mitt? When my wife found I had left my set of white water balloons in the kitchen sink, she just popped them. No big issue there! I just buy them in jumbo packs of 100! :) I think your forms cost more than my forms.

PS: I've never had a burst balloon and they feel better than rice in a stocking! :)

[Alice B]

Way to expensive an item to just let go. Confront her.

[sandra-leigh]

My wife found my forms and recognized them for what they are. I had put them away thoroughly enough that I had not been able to find them (!!) but when she thinks she is missing some kitchen item, she goes through everything in the basement.

She didn't talk to me about them then, but she did ask me about them early one morning in bed. My instinct was to Deny, Deny, Deny, but I was literally getting sick of not telling her, and I had promised myself I would tell her if she asked, so I thought quickly and answered, "So that's where they went!". Fortunately things went okay after that.

My relationship was somewhat shaky at that point, and I had thought about ending the relationship, but I realized that for me to deny was to pre-judge her and to already give up on the relationship. In telling her, at least there was the chance of a good outcome.