The thrill of extacy followed by guilt

[ms. victoria]

Hi y'all! I was wondering two things. I have been dressing for 20 years. I still get very excited and love the anticipation of dressing. I often end with a very pleasurable moment (if you know what I mean). Is this common? Sometimes I feel very guilty and ashamed of this. Sometimes I do not. Do any of you go through these emotions? Thanks!

[crispy]

Victoria

For years that was certainly the case for me. Sometimes there was a feeling of revulsion after the ecstasy and I would rid myself of my clothing immediately. :(

I have mellowed to the point where dressing does not automatically lead to ecstasy, and if it does I am very comfortable with it. :cool: I never, ever have any feelings of revulsion now. After experiencing the all-encompassing ecstasy I can curl up like the cat that has got the cream, or more accurately like a purring satisfied lady, and drift off to sleep. :)

This forum has helped in the self-acceptance process.

have fun and enjoy...!! ;)

[joesephine]

Certainly, sometimes, guess it depends on why, or even deeper mentally questions about motovation.

That probably didn't help

Joesephine

[pedebra]

Victoria,
That was also the case with me. Early on in my experience, dressing almost always ended in ectasy followed by revulsion. Purging, or at the very least, packing away my clothes usually followed. Now I just enjoy the experience
of being what I am and , if ectasy follows, that is great too.

Debra

[jessicadiane]

Victoria,
I still get that excitement that you are talking about,but I have learned to control it.I used to feel guilty and rip my clothes off afterwards telling myself this was not normal and I am disgusting.Now it is to the point that I dress because that is who I am and if I do happen to get that excitement I let it go and when I calm down I am still dressed and I am still happy who I am,which is the woman inside

[nuffsaid]

Hi y'all! I was wondering two things. I have been dressing for 20 years. I still get very excited and love the anticipation of dressing. I often end with a very pleasurable moment (if you know what I mean). Is this common? Sometimes I feel very guilty and ashamed of this. Sometimes I do not. Do any of you go through these emotions? Thanks!


I don't think anyone really gets over it but it does die down a bit the longer your at it.

[carolynhcd]

I do think it is correlative with the amout of time you get to spend en femme. But there are really two separate issues here. One is dressing in pretty things and the second is, where do you look for pleasure? Many straight men (I make no assumptions about you here) only look to GG's for release and consider it demeaning to self-pleasure. Other people have no compunction about self-pleasuring and indulge themselves freely in it. I had a roommate who would only allow himself one release a day. I am of another ilk and have set no limits on self-pleasuring. It has nothing to do with how often I crossdress and I no longer see any need to connect the two in any way. If they coincide, then that is all it is: a coincidence. Hope that makes sense. Dump your guilt and realize that everything is fine. Love, Carolyn

[kristi cd]

I think that's something everyone deals with tp a degree, I know I do. No matter how much it decreases with age, I still think most people will feel the guilt etc at least a little bit because of the way we are conditioned from a young age by our society that there is something wrong with what we are doing (guys dressing as girls). Finding this place has helped me try to come to terms with it as much as I can I suppose. Every little bit helps. :)

[Bernadina]

Hi y'all! I was wondering two things. I have been dressing for 20 years. I still get very excited and love the anticipation of dressing. I often end with a very pleasurable moment (if you know what I mean). Is this common? Sometimes I feel very guilty and ashamed of this. Sometimes I do not. Do any of you go through these emotions? Thanks!

I too find the process of getting dressed very thrilling. I like to take my time with selecting the clothes, the makeup, etc. Its neat to look at the resulting female me in the mirror.

Going out dressed is fun. I like the rush of driving while dressed and the possibility of being discovered.

Then the sadness as I have to get undresed, remove my makup and become a guy again. The worst part is the next morning when I usually have to remove my nail polish due to that day's commitments.

As for feeling guilty and being ashamed, no never. Why would I? I haven't done anything wrong.

[ms. victoria]

Wow! This really is a neat place. All of you are so sweet to be honest and forthright with your thoughts. I want to thank each of you for your contribution. You really are a great bunch of gals. Thank you!

[Kath]

Wow, how neat it is to read about how many of us go through the almost identical reaction.

After being a CDer for many many years, I'm over 60, I still go through this cycle. Some things have changed though, I no longer feel guilt at the self pleasuring in fact I look forward to it and I am generally finished with my dressing session following climax but no longer out of guilt, shame or disgust. It just seems that everything is alright with the world and it is time to get on with my guy type of business. I am who I am and this is something that is a part of me for some crazy reason.

I hope this thread helps any of us that still feel guilt or shame at doing what we do to get past it.

I do think it interesting to see that so many of us do the same thing. The thing I would really like to know is why we do this in the first place. There have been a lot of threads on a lot of forums trying to answer that question but I have never seen an answer that seems all encompassing.

Kath

[kristi cd]

As for feeling guilty and being ashamed, no never. Why would I? I haven't done anything wrong.

I think that's right on, but it's still the hardest part for me to accept for some reason. :o

[crispy]

Wow, how neat it is to read about how many of us go through the almost identical reaction.

After being a CDer for many many years, I'm over 60, I still go through this cycle. Some things have changed though, I no longer feel guilt at the self pleasuring in fact I look forward to it and I am generally finished with my dressing session following climax but no longer out of guilt, shame or disgust. It just seems that everything is alright with the world and it is time to get on with my guy type of business. I am who I am and this is something that is a part of me for some crazy reason.

I hope this thread helps any of us that still feel guilt or shame at doing what we do to get past it.

I do think it interesting to see that so many of us do the same thing. The thing I would really like to know is why we do this in the first place. There have been a lot of threads on a lot of forums trying to answer that question but I have never seen an answer that seems all encompassing.

Kath
Why?

Because we have found the perfect woman who will do our bidding without being bitchy or try to make out we are no more than dirty perverts.

Narcissism rules OK.

[carolynhcd]

Crispy, dear, you are sooo right and you have cut to the heart of the matter so incisively that I can only take off my wig to you. YOU RULE, GIRL!

[LacyPJs]

I seem to remember reading somewhere that there are some actual chemical changes that take place in the body immediately after "excasty," so it may be that you feel that way for a very good reason.

[StephanieS]

Wonderful thread and thoughts!
Thanks for being so honest and making this site so helpful for me and I am sure so many other girls.
I have been sick of myself so many times - and to think of all the money I have thrown away (shoes, makeup, wigs, clothes, forms, hose, etc) only to come back. I really don't know what it is inside that makes me a CD. Am I sick? Not at all - inside me is a woman - tender, soft, beautiful, caring, feminine all the way. I love buying womans shoes, I love wearing hose, shaving my legs, the shift of a blouse over my skin, the feel of a bra through the day, the realization that my arm brushed up againsf my woman's breasts. I love putting on lip stick and walking like a woman. I love being accepted by other women. To have another woman to share your common femininity - there is acceptance and great joy. ;)
I have not figured out why I am this way - I know now I cannot deny the woman in me. I know I am a man but inside me is very beautiful woman.
Love you,
StephanieS

[Rachel Ann]

Gee, I never felt guilt - just disappointed that I couldn't dress more often, and determined that nobody find out.

But then, I came of age in the 60s when there was a lot of competition to do the most outrageous or "degenerate" things.

Perhaps as my feminine persona develops more I will begin to experience guilt in the way that a woman does.

Or am I just missing the point?

[Sara Kat]

Do any of you go through these emotions?
The same thing happens to me and I HATE it. I wish I could just be cool with it and just stay dressed without the emotional rollercoaster ride.

[crispy]

I seem to remember reading somewhere that there are some actual chemical changes that take place in the body immediately after "excasty," so it may be that you feel that way for a very good reason.
It's often called the 'little death', and is followed by post-coital depression.

I think the secret is to separate in your psyche the post-coital depression from the fact that you are dressed. It is easy to confuse the two and think you are feeling guilty or depressed about the dressing bit.

I find the ecstasy becomes more muted, but deeper, as I get older and the depression becomes less intense. It just gets better and better!!

[jjjjohanne]

I think we should turn this around and ask:

Is there anyone here who does NOT have the association between dressing and the occasional moment of ecstacy?

I personally would rather there be less or no association between the two. It started without the physical event. Then I grew old enough to discover it. Then, the physical event was the thing that always accompanied the dressing. Now, I occasionally have dressing without the other, but not always. I enjoy the purity of dressing by itself.

[clarissa3d]

I have found that at least with me, that It depended on my mood.

Not to be graphic but try releaving your tension with out any femmine attire, uh well I hope you know what I mean.. Then Dress to the nines.

See if that makes a difference. to Disassociate the two feelings.