The road to elegance

[Kate Simmons]

One thing I have noticed with many of the members here is that they are sticklers for having everything "just so" with regard to female appearance. I guess many of us feel that if we are going to want to look like women, we may as well do it "right" so more or less have our own personal "standards of excellence" when it comes to looking like a lady. We honestly don't care what society in general does especially in this "dressed down" society we live in. Many of us strive to look, dress and act like elegant and refined ladies because if we were women that is exactly how we would present ourselves. To what end? Simply because that is who we are and who we want to be. At this time the world needs all of the elegance and beauty it can get and we support that wholeheartedly by who we are and what we do. What do you think?:)

[JessHaust]

I think that a great deal of the attraction is just that, the elegant woman. I have no desire to dress in jeans, wear sneakers and a sweatshirt and then try and feel femine. It is exactly the high heels, dress and makeup that my inner girl desires. If I had been born a female, that is exactly how I would have dressed, and that is the desire that burns within me.
To be honest, it's not being biologically female that I want, it's the appearence. The dressed down female is to me, just a mild form of cross dressing F2M, and I'm already male so why would I emulate a female emulating a male?

[Krististeph]

One of my friends here told me of an encounter when she was shopping a a mall near us- 3 teenage girls made some unkind comment of some kind, my (our) friend answered at least she knew how to pick out decent clothes to wear, unlike the 3 hecklers. She actually shut them up with that... AWESOME!

[JessHaust]

Sorry, but I have more to say!

I think this question gets to the heart of a bigger issue. This site is called 'Crossdressers.com', when in reality is should be 'Transgenders, Transexuals and Crossdressers.com'.
I am a crossdresser, plain and simple. I want to emulate the thing that makes my desires run rampant, looking like a beautiful woman. But many of us here are far less concerned with the appearance of woman, they desire to FEEL like a woman. Many of us here live a life of daily pain because they are not female, their male body is at war with their female brain.
For those that are truly transexual, dressing frumpy is just fine, as long as they can feel, as least for the moment female, their preference would be to actually be a woman. They are the ones that strive for the 24/7 dressing and for that you can not spend 1-2 hours every day putting on perfect makeup and elegant apparel. And it's not important to them.
There are others who never ever need to even been seen, just feeling feminine is good. The separation in the last two I think is only a matter of semantics, but both have a need to be female.

Then there are those like me, who have strong desires to look as elegant as possible, and with that comes a desire to show that appearance. Getting dressed up and staying home is for me a waste, it's the attention and the flash that I desire. Here is the fundamental separation in the 'Go-out' and 'stay-in' crowd. It's really has never been anything else. We are all enamored with the female form, but some want to look female, others need to be female, and others are somewhere in between.

[Krististeph]

Sorry, but I have more to say!

I think this question gets to the heart of a bigger issue.
You nailed it on the head Jess! As my wife's profession (psych) would say- "it's a spectrum". Kind of a sell-out or meaningless answer or term. i wonder what we could agree on as some minimums- not for the sake of making rules- but to see what most people think.

for me it is- pantyhose / shaved legs (i spend enough time on it! Sheesh!), or at least panties. Lipstick & nails (either nude, clear gloss, or a cute color). Basically some form of feminine regarded article, regardless of the situation. :cute:

kristi

[suchacutie]

For me there is a theoretical side and a practical side:

theoretical: I am driven to understand who Tina is, so letting her do her thing without preconceived notions is essential. It took a couple of years for Tina to obtain an idea of style and to be able to pull off that style. Once she arrived at that point we found that she enjoys being attractive and it is a positive feeling for her, a part of her inner self satisfaction. The process of effecting this art of transformation is, to a large extent, the process of a joint physical and mental exercise of changing from the masculine to the attractive feminine self. Notice that the satisfaction is internal and a part of the transformation process.

practical: I have a male body. When someone looks at me in male mode, they receive all manner of "signals" that register "male" at first glance (and at second glance as well!). A part of the struggle in a successful transformation is to reduce the number of male signals and overwhelm the remaining male signals with strong female signals. GGs give off a set of female signals without the trappings. What we use as female signals they use as enhancements to augment some signals and reduce others. We do the same kind of thing but have much farther to go! We start much farther back and need many more of the enhancements.

When I put those two pieces together they support each other. Hence, Tina is a bit of a high-maintenance girl and although she is not adverse to jeans, those jeans always scream "female", and so do all the accessories! It's all about stomping on those male signals and replacing them with "Tina signals" both for external and internal consumption !

[Kate Simmons]

You bring up good points my Sisters. I think a lot of mainstream people would look at us and ask: "Just what are you trying to prove with all this?" The answer is really simple. We want to prove we can be beautiful, elegant and refined ladies. For myself it's also an art form and I continue to hone my skills in that respect with trying out different looks. Never once have I degraded women or the image of women by doing what I do, I ensure that. My thinking is that if anyone is to uphold elegance and refinement within femininity, it may just as well be us because many of us are damn good at doing that.:)

[Sheila11]

I love the elegance, the attempt at looking feminine and pretty. However the more I want to not "stand out", the more I find myself dressing down to jeans flats and a tshirt. I would much rather add pretty to the world than the same old blah.

[Lorileah]

In the last month I have been referred to as "classy". I like that. It is better than ragged :) But I just dress as I like when I am out on the town. If I were out in the park on an afternoon, it would be more casual. To me the idea of getting dressed "up" is just that. I can look average anytime. I do it everyday. On any given day my wardrobe is 50-100% from the women's department. Which says a a lot. It says that usually men and women are not that far apart on clothing. But when I am going out dressed, then I am going to go for eye-appeal. Otherwise I won't bother dressing up.

[docrobbysherry]

First and foremost me, dressing is about creating a fem illusion. Not necessarily elegant, but complete! If I forget to wear a necklace or hat I picked out to wear with an outfit, I'll notice in the pics and be disappointed! Or, if the belt I pick looks a little off in the pics. Or, wrong wig, etc., etc.

Judging by the girls at the DLV I recently attended, over dressing is quite common among us! Maybe that term is synonimous with "elegant", Kate? When it comes to CDs anyway?

[Debra Russell]

I concur Jess, I really feel like if I'am going to through the fun / pleasure / trouble of getting all prettied up I want to be out among the populace - but I want to blend and look like I belong albiet at the upper end of the spectrum - I want to look good / stylish no matter if casual, or formal - I want to look female and be treated like a lady - when I am in male mode I am just that and want to be treated as such......the female mode is way more fun..............................Debra

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kate, The last thing that I want is to dress like the women of Walmart*.
Dressing to the nines is so much more fun for me .
I like to see the lovely lady in the mirror looking back at me.

[Barbara Ella]

Up until two weeks ago, I dressed for my pleasure to make me feel and visualize femininity. To do that it requires a bit of elegance, and casual dress has no part in what I need to do to make me feel feminine. At 65 years of age, i remember the age of female elegance. I regret I was not participating at the time, but I remember the visuals. I feel the need to capture my past, and try to dress appropriately to that sense. I have now gone out twice, dressed as a woman would of my era. I love the sense of peace I have even though I stand out, which increases the nervousness immensely. I am still very much learning, but the feminine feeling translates into dresses and skirts for me, and I need to learn to deal with it, and get my game up to those standards. And i have to agree with Jess, that there are a wide variety of people with their own internal needs, and we do not all fit into the same expectations mold.

Barbara

[Beverley Sims]

This one is for me to comment on.
I like over dressing for parties and special events as most of the time people know who I am.
In the earlier days of CD talent nights it was an art form that I was successful at great legs good figure and a totally different woman to the man that I was.
I was a 98 pound weakling with a 24 inch waist. I was always proud to turn into a blond bombshell, yes I am fair complexioned.
These days dress to blend, I am a little lazy with my appearance now, having been there done that. Yet I can still be aprehensive inspecting the bras and panties in drab. I don't pass as well now as I did 20 years ago.
At the moment I am trying elegance with jeans and a sleek look with 2inch heels. Never stop experimenting.
My signature describes it all.

[kendra_gurl]

It would be so nice to still live in a time where females dressed with charm and elegance. Reality is when one does dress this way where do you go without attracting so much attention it gets you read?

Very few of us have ever been in a place where most other females would be dressed the same way. The Theater or a Ballet or Church might be one but to the Mall or a club I don't think so. Many a crossdresser have only been for a walk in a park or a secluded street. Don't think I've ever seen anyone in a dress and heels walking in a park unless its adjcent to a Downtown area during lunch time.

Closest thing I ever see is Fashionable ladies business attire. Just watch your TV. Most female attornys look very nice but unless you live on Rodeo Drive or walk the streets of Mahattan you will be clocked if you don't tone it down a bit.

The other problem is elegance now days implies your old. I wish it didn't but thats just the way it seems to be.

[Stephanie47]

If I cannot dolled up in a bra, panties, slip, hosiery, shoes, dress and a wig, I'm not going to do it. I know my manly features trump any possibility of really passing at a close distance, but, that's not a reason for me not to feel feminine and wear clothing to accentuate my inner feeling. I just do not look too closely in the mirror. Women may look attractive in nice pants and a top and be elegant too. As to the comment about Wal-Mart-- The best dressed people in Wal-Mart are the servicemen and servicewomen in their utility uniforms. The rest of the crowd leaves a lot to be desired.

[Kate Simmons]

One reason I avoid going to Wal-Mart is because most folks dress like ragamuffins--why bother they figure. I truly believe elegance is a lost art among women but not all together. Some gals take the time to dress nicely and have a good eye for fashion but the real reason to do that is to do it for themselves and to feel good about themselves. Many people may argue well at the pace we live today, we don't have time to look and be elegant but that is exactly the point. Take the time to bask in it and we, it seems, have found the secret. If we look good, we feel good and so does everyone else. We don't have to do it all the time but once in a while is nice. It's seems it's up to us to uphold the tradition for the most part and thankfully many of us are up to the task.:)

[Georgina]

My take on this subject is probably a minority opinion. I don't associate elegance with femininity and I would like clothes to be non gender specific. I love it when women won't wear dresses as the more that happens the less dresses will be associated with women. Young girls at present seem to resent wearing clothes and if this trend continues, the may wish to be naked in the future. To be elegant does not require one to be feminine. I want to wear dresses etc. and modify my looks like women do but do not want to be a lady. To me looking like a lady does not mean I am one or want to be one. Women can dress in jeans, if they wish, and men should be able to wear dresses if they wish. If men and women could dress elegantly, in the same clothes, that would be fine with me. As population expansion needs to slow down a blurring of male and female appearance may be a step in the right direction.