Therapy???

[April Lyn]

I have been thinking and talking to my wife about going and talking to a therapist who specializes in Transgender and gender issues and was wondering if anyone here could share any of the experiences they may have had with a gender therapist? Did it help you in any way? what exactly can I expect from this experience?

- April :battingeyelashes:

[sierra_g]

My first day is Wednesday. Stay honest and be ready to lay it all out. No matter how much it hurts or embarrasses, remember that you are paying someone to help you. If you lie to them, or hide anything, you are only hurting yourself. You need to build that relationship on a foundation of truth and trust.

Good luck!

[whowhatwhen]

remember that you are paying someone to help you. If you lie to them, or hide anything, you are only hurting yourself.

This.
Trust is huge too IMO, I trust my therapist enough to tell her gender related things I've kept buried most of my life and that no one else in the world knows.

It does feel good to talk about it though, I highly recommend it.
:)

[elizabethamy]

yes, tell it all. your deepest fears and your greatest hopes. what keeps you awake at night. what causes you to want to die. what you dream could be possible. all of it. if your therapist doesn't connect with you get another one. I went through three or four and then the one I found last November has totally enabled me to understand things hidden for half a century. IT's about the trust, the opennessl, and the therapist occupying that balanced place where he/she is neither judge nor passive audience, but someone exactly between. I wish you great revelations even though some of hte sessions will be rough.

elizabethamy

[msniki48]

April,
If you have questions, a therapist working with gender issues can surely help. I have been to therapy for about 7 yrs and it has given me clarity, even though i might not be able to travel the path i would like, due to family and job, I finally know where i fit into the spectrum. and i am where i need to be for today.

the best of luck to you april

hugs

msniki48

[Shannon C.]

I am all for therapy. I am seeing a therapist that specializes in the transgender population with many years of experience. With any therapy you get what you put into it. The best thing is to be honest with how you are feeling and what you are thinking because otherwise it will be a waste of both your and your therapists time. While it is not easy at times I always feel better after talking things out with my therapist. It also helps give me perspective on what my life is. I hope that therapy works for you and you get what you need from it.

[KellyJameson]

Even though I have never been married I see it like a marriage, without the chemistry between the two of you it will not work so expect to kiss alot of frogs before you find a prince/princess, in other words do not stay with a therapist if it does not feel comfortable in an uncomfortable way, you should be left with the impression that they have a sensitivity to suffering and a strong desire to help bring relief even though they must remain objective and sometimes act as an authority figure. They care but from a distance. This takes time to learn and you may have to meet with them more than once before you come to believe or not believe they are capable of doing this.

For many the work is about the money first and the person second and I try to get a sense of their real opinions about gender dysphoria and avoid those who are not at least willing to consider that there may be physiological reasons for GID and not only psychological because the idea that it is only psychological runs contrary to my own history using their own psychological theories for it's existence.

Also you can see ten different therapists and get ten different results which just adds to the confusion so see them as guides not Gods.

As hard as this is to do leave your shame or embarrassment at the door, I have been dealing with psychologists and psychiatrists since childhood and I have yet to meet one that is not at least as nutty as I am. The difference is they have learned to make it work for them and not against them.

I personally think everyone should spend time in therapy at some point in their lives because few come out of childhood without some scars and even if you had a perfect childhood being human is hard and if you look at human history it is very violent so clearly we all need help.

Try to not go into therapy wanting a diagnois of GID. In my own case I had to work through other problems before I was willing to accept the diagnosis. I had avoidant personality disorder, fall on the autism spectrum with mild aspergers, severe anxiety, ect.. and I had to work toward an understanding to see that all of this was intertwined with GID and partly caused by GID. I found it very difficult to untangle all the different threads and reach a point where I could step back and see the whole mess clearly so I than could make informed decisions about what I wanted to do about it.

[becka519]

I went to a therapist once and after a while I came to the conclustion that if I ask the question and could answer it. So far it seems to work and the fact that I quit really caring what other people think. (well, most of the time)

[AlysonShaw]

I will say that it took awhile before I was able to trust my therapist enough to talk to her about my crossdressing. Of course, mine doesn't specialize in gender issues. I would imagine a gender therapist has heard more and is more familiar with your situation. I would go in with an open mind and try to build a relationship until you are comfortable.

[Tina B.]

Go check it out, why not, what have you got to lose, but make sure it is someone that has trans gender credentials, if you feel good with them, it good be good, if you don't, try another one.
But if it is going to do any good at all, you have to open up and tell it all. But if you are looking for a cure, safe your money, they will not cure you, and the good ones don't even want to try, but they can help you learn to accept yourself for who you are.
Tina B.