ANY LADIES THAT STARTED OF DRESSING BUT THAN DECIDED To become transexuals?

[Chazity]

I have the desire to dress more,and im just worried that one day I will want to become a full time woman...... My wife said if I wanted to that it would be ok ,but we would become roommates or girl friends..... And she would have to have sex with someone else,because she is in love with.. the man not the woman.so wherewould that leave me ?i dont want to have sex with a man ,but I would still have a sexual need im assuming ...i dont really knoe about that because hormones have side efects like the ability to get an errection....im so confused right know

[MandyGG]

I may be completely wrong with this, so forgive me ladies of the TS community, if I am.....

But, if you are worried about your erection, then you are NOT transexual. From what I have learned, a TS woman feels that her "thing" is a deformity or mistake and she doesn't like to look at it, let alone use it! You really need to think long and hard about it before any decisions are made.

Could you possibly be in a "pink fog" right now, and this is where these thoughts are coming from?

I don't know how to advise you on the subject, so I am sure that someone will soon come in with wonderful commentary to help you.

I wish you luck in your journey within yourself.

[joanna4]

I don't how to explain it nor how far I would have gotten but I my dressing got very intense from 2010-2011. I was leaning towards becoming a transsexual. I was ready to tell my family about my dressing. I met my gf last summer and have only kept dressing.

[Shelly Preston]

I dont think you can decide to become transexual. You may discover your are TS over time.

You can decide to live full time as a woman if you wish but this wont make you TS.

Gender & Sexuality are not the same thing.

I notice you seem to be worried about some time in the future, most of us have enough trouble coping in the present. It is also possible nothing will change for you. Deciding to take hormones is a big step for anyone and needs to be done under medical supervision.
Slow yourself down an consider these points before getting too worried.

[Kaz]

My advice is to slow down and stop analysing it. Talk to people on this site... there is a wealth of knowledge and experience here. My take on it all is that these categories are arbitrary and cause more problems that solving them. We are all unique individuals and we all need to find the path that works best for us. Categorisation leads you into a pathway that is not necessarily the one that is right for you.

[Kate Simmons]

I agree with Kaz. The best way to go is get in touch with your feelings and find out who you are as a person first and take it from there.:)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

you don't "decide" to be transsexual!!

so don't worry about whether crossdressing can change you....it won't...

it could turn out you slowly come to a realization that you are transsexual... but pls be confident that it won't be because of crossdressing...

the more you "enjoy" your penis and erections the less likely it is you are transsexual..but make no mistake, lots of us were very into sex with women and our penis prior to transition...its just a way to prove your manhood for some...

[Cheryl123]

Relax Chazity! It seems like you answered your own question when you said you don't want to have sex with a man. We are who we are. No amount of cross dressing will change that. Heterosexual male cross-dressers and transsexuals are really very different (we just look the same!). Many cross dressers live as full time women -- check out the Tri-Ess organization (formerly the Society for the Second Self). The founder of Tri-Ess is the late Virginia Prince whose writing I'm found to be very helpful -- "sex is what's between my legs, gender is what's in my heart." (Some are available for free at Google Books). So .. relax, take a deep breath and find joy in each day (in heels and skirt!)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Cheryl can i correct one thing you said.....

NOT wanting sex with a man means nothing to your gender... many many transsexuals did not feel sexually attracted to men and discovered through transition that this was only part of the facade of a male life...
of course there are many hetero cross dressers too...i'm just saying feeling you are hetero is not a factor...

Tri-ess is more heterosexuality focused than most religions..

[deebra]

Go to the Yahoo web site, click on Yahoo Search and type in ******** or shemalepics, becoming a ******* sounds like this fits you. You can become a female but keep the plumbing that would allow you to have sexual intercourse with your wife but also be the woman you want to be. If you go this route and down the road you decide I want to go back, you can have the breast implants removed, stop the hormones and return to male.

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Chazity,
Where to start.... You said your wife is OK with you becoming a full time woman, BUT you would become roommates or girlfriends? She said she'd have to have sex with someone else? And you are OK with this arrangement? I looked at your profile; what about the 3 children? Would it be worth it to give up? Is the need or desire so strong that you are ready to end the status of being their dad? If you love your wife, are you ready to see her in the arms of another man? Are you ready to watch the kids grow up with a different man as their father figure? All these things are possible and even probable if you decide to give in to whatever level of gender issues you may feel. Like others have said, sex and gender are 2 very different things. You make it clear that you are not attracted to men. Most TS's will tell you that HRT will not change that. Could this be a serious case of PINK FOG? Most TS's will also tell you that you feel like you were born in the wrong body and that in fact you are a female inside; Further, most will tell you they felt that way from very early childhood. Is this how you feel? I am not a TS and never felt I'd like to transition or even live full time as a woman. I enjoy being the man that I am. I'm happy being a part time female, or emulate them as much as I can. But never would I consider giving up on the woman I love and having intimate relations with her just to satisfy my need to dress and act female. I would not want to be less a man to my children and the potential pain it will bring into their lives. Many TS's have risked it all because they had to. It was not a simple choice for them. Are you ready for a life of emotional pain and giving up or losing what you have in the way of a wife and children? You need to do some very serious soul searching and add up the emotional cost of transition. Not only on you, but your wife, your children. If it's a very real pain living in your male body, then maybe you are TS if to you, the pain is worth it. I know I could not and would not do this to myself and those that depend on me and love me. I'd try being happy being a crossdesser and make the best of my life if there is any doubt about my gender. The cost is to high. Perhaps you need a professional to help you sort out your feelings. But I also agree with others...Your continued crossdressing will not make you a TS.
I wish you the very best in what you decide. I hope your wife and children will not go through the pain a bad decision will put on them. They don't have a choice. It's up to you.

[Jenniferathome]

Crossdressing does not cause transsexualism. It is coincident for transsexuals. if you are worried about using your penis, you are not a transsexual candidate. A transsexual sees relief in removal of the penis because it does not belong on their body as they see and feel themselves to be.

[Lesley_Roberta]

Sometimes the quick answer is ask yourself to list priorities in the order you REALLY want them, and to then be blunt with yourself with your list.

Is your wife and family higher on the list? If yes you already know the answer.

Your wife didn't write the list YOU did. Your wife has only told you honestly what HER needs are. Now you need to be honest with yourself and not be surprised by what your choices create.

I am in the EXACT same position you are in, in my own unique way. Only difference is I have two people in my head. Leslie and Lesley. Leslie is not me, in as much as he has no desire to stop being my wife's husband. Meanwhile, I (Lesley) would not miss the man parts, but, I share Leslie's opinions on the value of a person's word. Leslie said some things during his wedding ceremony that matter to him more than his own comfort. And I share his needs where a person's word is concerned, so I am ok letting Leslie keep his word, even if it means I get to suffer along with him.

MY wife is ok with me (Lesley) or that is what I am getting. One of those "I love you regardless of who you are' types.
But of course, I wonder, so if I didn't have a male sex organ, and became female, and your sex life was lesbian or not at all, would she still think it was a good idea.
Well I look at our sex time. I need to be in her to reach climax, but she prefers a good fingering. I can finger her regardless of what is or is not between my legs. If I was a woman, she simply wouldn't be bathing aways a man's common mess from sex.

YOUR wife has made it plain, you WILL remain male, or you get to be nothing but a roommate.
Or put another way, she is accepting of your need to dress up, in the same way a woman might tolerate you having guys over to be loud and atypically male in front of the TV watching 'the game'. Some women will ditch you just for playing video games too long on your computer. Some will ditch you just for not spending ALL your spare time with them to the point your buddies rarely if ever see you. And yes, I have witnessed this first hand with my friends.

So I'm offering you the same advice I would offer a friend wanting to join my role gaming group(s). Can you actually attend regularly? Because even though it is just a game, it is OUR time that makes the difference, and we want to know you respect our time enough to show up ALL the time like we do unless something of inescapable variable intrudes (like work). And even then, if work makes you unable to be there better than hit or miss, the result is 'sorry man, life doesn't care if you want to role game with us'.
Work IS a voluntary choice believe it or not. You can always quit if the result doesn't matter to you. Just so long as you can accept the cost. Spending time with your kids is a choice. But will the choice be worth it?

YOU are worth what you say you are worth, but, YOU get to decide what your stated worth will mean to your life too.
If my wife told me to 'drop all this crap or else' for instance, my choices are either do so, regardless of how it bothers me, or deal with the 'or else' aspect.
My wife means more to me than life itself. Wearing a dress is lower on my list. It doesn't mean it would not hurt and hurt a great deal too.
But I think my wife sees that it would hurt me to the core and make my life a living hell. And I like to think she loves me as strongly as I love her.
My wife is not one of those complainers 'you play games too much, you don't spend enough time with me', blah blah blah.
But then I don't give her much reason to complain. I will buy her gift cards to her favourite stores 'here's a 50 dollar card to Pennigtons'. I have just made it so she has no choice but to treat herself as the money is already spent. I take her out to lunch as often as possible (it's one of her things).

You have to give back something to them eventually.

Sorry for the long reply. I don't really do short replies though :)

[Sara Jessica]

Sorry for the long reply. I don't really do short replies though :)

I can do a (semi) short reply...

No more than I could decide NOT to be a transsexual.

As Kaitlin put it, there can be an element of self-awareness that comes about over time. Or in my case, finally admitting the long-standing reality to myself. But crossdressing is an activity that is behavior-based, an experience that can manifest itself in some very intense and glorious ways. Transsexual is central to your very being and can also be very glorious if one is accepting of it and cherishes their rather unique world view. You'd know it if you were there.

Both CDing and being TS can be a royal pain in the neck as well, depending on how you manage things. And while I would speculate that being on the TS side of the fence is a greater burden (psychologically, emotionally, and/or affect on others) neither of these are hierarchal in any way, they are simply in very different places, different manifestations of gender variance and/or expression.

[docrobbysherry]

Sigh! I guess I do EVERYTHING backwards! When I began dressing some 16 years ago, I suddenly thot I wanted real breasts and fantasized about SRS, forced fem, and sex with men! But, over the years, all the fantasies have disappeared!

Now, I'm quite content to be a straight CD! Goes to show u! There really R NO HARD AND FAST RULES!

[whowhatwhen]

Go to the Yahoo web site, click on Yahoo Search and type in ******** or shemalepics, becoming a ******* sounds like this fits you. You can become a female but keep the plumbing that would allow you to have sexual intercourse with your wife but also be the woman you want to be. If you go this route and down the road you decide I want to go back, you can have the breast implants removed, stop the hormones and return to male.

Arrr, that be a dangerous road you're traveling there...
The thing is TS women who do porn are likely only doing it to afford surgeries that they require to live as women.

Have a read of the TS/Body issues section, hormones, or any medication for that matter is nothing to take lightly due to the risks associated with it.
I wouldn't take them and expect my male parts to keep working, actually I think them not working would be a bonus there IMO.

[Cheryl123]

For Kaitlyn Michele ... thnx for the correction. My bad! I can understand that because we live in such a sexually repressive society that our true self gets buried under many facades. Cross dressing can be a door through which we can step to discover who we really are. Thank you for the insight. It is greatly appreciated

[Vickie_CDTV]

Chazity, you could live full time as a crossdresser without HRT or SRS and remain with fully functional male genitals (would you wife still want to be with another man if you were still fully functional sexually as a male? Might be worth asking. I know as a hetero male myself, I would be CRUSHED if my wife didn't want to be with me ever again and wanted to be with someone else.)

At any rate, being TS (or even just living fulltime as a woman) often comes with a very heavy price, it is not something one does on a whim, and not something one does unless one absolutely has to. if you don't absolutely have to (and you sound like you are ok with your body as is), don't.

[TGMarla]

My propensity to crossdress led me to believe for a very long time that I was transexual. I badly wished I was a woman, and I still strongly wish I'd been born that way instead. I know I have some transexual tendencies that will never really go away. However, I will never transition, and I've learned to accept myself the way I am, relegating my desires to immerse myself in feminine splendor to the time I'm able to spend en femme.

There is a lot more to transexualism that a mere desire to wear women's clothing, or even a desire to have sex as a woman. It's a state of being. I came to understand that my wants and needs didn't add up to a good enough reason to transition. If one desires womanhood merely because one could then wear skirts, dresses, and high heels without any social ramifications, then one does not have enough of a reason to completely change, if not destroy, one's life. In fact, I likely enjoy wearing dresses a whole lot more, and do so much more often as a crossdresser than I would were I actually female. Women have a whole lot more to worry about on a day to day basis, just like anyone, than fixating on their hemlines and high heels. But for crossdressers, it's all about the clothing, and little more. We can go about our lives and take care of our business, and engage in our feminine interests as time allows.

Bottom line: if it's all about the cute little outfits, then it's probably not about transexualism.

[KellyJameson]

I can only give you my opinion as it pertains to me.

From that perspective I do not think we choose to become transsexuals as much as it chooses us by a mixture of physiology,psychology,fetal environment, environmental toxins, maternal stressors ,emotional bonding in childhood and social indoctrination (turning boys into men/ girls into women) and so it becomes more about consciously learning about yourself and uncovering the patterns of your behavior to see deeper truths.

I would be the same regardless of whether I crossdressed or not and I have never experienced the "high" of crossdressing. The crossdressing works like a second skin combined with the changes I have made to my physical features.

The clothes express a natural power that is already in me so I do not become sexually aroused by the sight of myself but it does feel like sexual power that is directed outward not inward.

I think there are many clues in childhood if you can remember your feelings and behavior which is difficult because there is so much pressure placed on men and women to conform to sterotypical behavior in childhood so they ignore (repress) who they are by ignoring what they want and how they naturally want to express themselves. They bury the truth of who they really are so that they may survive and so in adulthood it becomes a matter of uncovering these buried truths.

This is extremely confusing and difficult but once you have done it and you look back over your life the truth than seems obvious because you have now become what you already were and so you feel whole and not divided against yourself.

Think of a snake that sheds it's skin so it can grow or a caterpillar that emerges as a butterfly but in this case it is a psychological metamorphosis that parallels the intentional metamorphosis of the body.

If you take someone and force them to have a sex change when their gender identity does not correspond to the body they have now been changed into they may not survive psychologically because they will experience a type of forced GID. Some people can live as either gender but many (possibly most) must be one or the other.

Think about your relationship to your own body. How much do you really like looking like a man? Do you like the feeling of smooth skin and no body hair ? If you could change your face into softer features would you ? Psychologically is intercourse easy and natural or does it feel odd and awkward and you are most comfortable when the other person takes the active role during intercourse because it is in conflict with your natural energies of taking the world inside of yourself?

This is a generalization but being a woman is inviting the world into your life through active waiting and being a man is entering into the world unannounced and unasked without concern for waiting.

Men lead because they expect and force others to follow. Women lead by creating consensus. A man stands outside the group and pushes it, a woman stands inside the group and pushes it. This generalization is not dependant on biology and either sex can do this but the tendency is for behavior and biology to line up in stereotypical behavior.

[CONSUELO]

Slow down. Read as much as possible about transexualism and related conditions and seek out a good counsellor who really understands the subject. I too have gone through big emotional swings. I don't know why. Hormones? general brain chemistry? I have no idea. Finally don't worry and over analyze this. You are not alone.

[Voulez-Vous]

I dont think you can decide to become transexual. You may discover your are TS over time.


Exactly. You can't just "decide to become" a TS. It doesn't work that way. Either you are, or you aren't.

[Chazity]

Thank you have all helped me so much .i do think that I might have been having down swing of imotions at the time when I posted this .....they sit edited the title if anyone read it before or I upset anyone im truly sorry im still new here so please forgive me.also a lot of ladies here tell me to seek medical advise,but I cant afford it ,and everyone on this forum are probaly more helpful........and I will always remember my chidren they will not know about me until they are old enough to understand.

[ReineD]

There is a lot more to transexualism that a mere desire to wear women's clothing, or even a desire to have sex as a woman. It's a state of being.

[...]

In fact, I likely enjoy wearing dresses a whole lot more, and do so much more often as a crossdresser than I would were I actually female.

I'm quoting you to emphasize this, Marla. Thanks for sharing.

And Bingo on the second part. :)

[Beth-Lock]

There really R NO HARD AND FAST RULES!

I think the reason a lot of CD's remain CD's is that they are happily married. Otherwise, I suspect that they would transition and live as transwomen.

[Annie M]

I think its like Alzheimer's, if you think you have it you dont. If your thinking about becoming a TS you can't.

[Cassandra]

Well for me I had been crossdressing for awhile and was a full time woman, then I decided to get the sex change done and become a TS. I don't even think twice about it anymore, I am now a woman and wouldn't want to be a man again.

[Kaz]

I am who I am... no more and no less... I have spent most of my life wishing I was someone else and not really appreciating who I am... I am now trying to get those years back by finally being me. I am Kaz and he/she is a nice place to be!

[Kayla Shadows]

I can try and offer a outlook on things..This all can definitely be confusing for some so you are not alone.You just gotta do what you can handle and what best fits your life.

I agree with some things here.For me it was never about clothes.For a long time I did not even dress.Those are things very far from what the real issue is.Sometimes I see the real issue has become nothing more than a idea instead of the roots of all of it.People love to say your not real if your not running out and transitioning when no pill or body modification makes you transexual.If somebody is transitoning its because they were transexual before that.People say that gender is up there and not down there which needs to be looked at and understood for the words they are actually saying.If we are who we are that is really the big picture.Not what people think you should be doing. There are some of us who feel very different from others.Ive listened to a lot of girls and feel what they say. Theres people that have no idea whats its like to feel like nothing you could ever do would make things right. I cant even express what that feels like..People think its so simple and clean cut.I dont like men just like there are women who dont like men but that puts me in a tough spot being born the way I was.I dont know where it leaves me..There is such inner turmoil and things to deal with that transitioning alone is not the answer to the problem.On the other side of that,people have familys,jobs,lots of things to take into account. I havnt even been able to get the hair off my face yet. Things take money and if your life puts you in a position where you may be trying to transition on the street,well,thats a lot to think about. What kind of road is that.

Ive seen it all in my short time around.People with ideas,people who say things I only see as tools to validate themselves. Its all fine.People are people.They can take all they want but this is something nobody can ever take away.

[Bree-asaurus]

You're born TS. You don't decide to become TS.

You can be TS and not transition...

EDIT: And Nathalie reminded me with her following post that you can be CD and transition to live full time pretending to be a woman... but I'm sure that's pretty rare.

[NathalieX66]

I started dressing when I was 6 or 7, dressed in secret up to my 20's , tried to quit, started again a few years ago, and ended up in nearly every single place in my locale venturing out as a woman. And by all accounts, I should be transsexual, but I'm not.
Bree above me is right. However there many confused folk who can't tell, and are unsure. I say this because I know about 5 people personally who decided to transition, did HRT for a while, then gave it up and de-transitioned. It happens.

[Raquel June]

But, if you are worried about your erection, then you are NOT transexual. From what I have learned, a TS woman feels that her "thing" is a deformity or mistake and she doesn't like to look at it, let alone use it!

That's not really fair. Seeing something as a "deformity" is not necessarily a good place to be at, whether it's your nose or your penis or a mole. I'm TS and I went through a couple phases of hating my genitalia and came pretty close to ending up in the emergency room, and I really needed a therapist more than I needed SRS.

As a TS woman who is very attracted to women, it really is difficult to sort things out mentally, and it's certainly not unreasonable to be hesitant to do anything to screw up your sexual relations with women. Of course, if you are a TS lesbian you will eventually come to the realization that you need to be with another lesbian. But for me, I knew I was TS for many years and was mostly held back by my desire to have normal relationships with women and my inexplicable inability to accept that I was a lesbian and understand there are plenty of lesbians in the world.



you don't "decide" to be transsexual!!

so don't worry about whether crossdressing can change you....it won't...

it could turn out you slowly come to a realization that you are transsexual... but pls be confident that it won't be because of crossdressing...

I agree with you, but a lot of people have a knee-jerk reaction based on semantics here. You don't "decide" to be transsexual. You decide to transition. But for many people their thought process is, "Do I repress this silliness and try to be a normal guy, or do I choose to do something about it and be a freak?" And that's a tough place to be at. And in their mind it's "deciding to be transsexual."



... Theres people that have no idea whats its like to feel like nothing you could ever do would make things right. I cant even express what that feels like..People think its so simple and clean cut.I dont like men just like there are women who dont like men but that puts me in a tough spot being born the way I was.I dont know where it leaves me..There is such inner turmoil and things to deal with that transitioning alone is not the answer to the problem.

I know exactly where you're coming from. I spent years thinking, "I'm just uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm crazy. I'm obsessing over gender issues, but who's to say if I transition that anything will be better?" And even when I first went full-time, there were months of my thinking, "This is awesome, but this is stressful! And what do people really think when they look at me? Is this really what I should be doing?" But eventually I realized things were so much better.

Don't spend too much time worrying about if you're really TS. If you're on this forum, and you enjoy looking like a woman, and if you've had (or would really like to have) permanent facial hair removal, and if you've laid awake wishing you could live as a woman, and if the idea of being accepted as female by society would be a dream come true, then you're probably TS.

I was with a woman who decided she wasn't a lesbian, so I had to semi-de-transition into an androgynous state for her. Then we ended up breaking up anyway, and I needed to move and my job prospects were pretty limited so I had to cut my hair and totally de-transition. And that really put things in perspective. Because being a guy sucks.

Sorry to ramble on here, but there are two things I see a ton of around here:

One, the semantics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're born TS. Whatever. People try to out-tranny each other by shouting how they knew when they were 6 months old that they needed to chop off their c*** and put a daisy in their hair. I was just born me. Pretty much without gender. I've come to realize that things fit so much better as female and things were often an awkward struggle trying to fit in as male. But I'm still just me.

And two, people get comfortable with things. Change is difficult. I accidentally stumbled across a bunch of people I went to high school with 15 years ago, and most of them had the same haircut and just looked older and 50 lbs. heavier. And there are a lot of guys still rockin' the goatee well past its era. But that's what they're used to. If people can't change their damn hair, what hope do we have? It takes a lot of strength to turn your world upside-down, and a lot of people convince themselves that they're just crossdressers to save their marriage and/or make things simpler.

But being TS doesn't necessarily mean your strong. How many people do you see every day who really care how they present themselves? There are probably tons of people who would be happier as another gender but they just don't care that much and it probably barely bothers them. It's not whether or not we're trans, it's whether or not we care enough to turn our lives upside-down. And what makes us crazy is not that we're the wrong gender, it's that we care enough about our gender to want to bother changing it.

I've dated some pretty hot women. I was a pretty attractive guy. I went from there to dating an overweight not-so-attractive woman who I fell totally in love with and who supported me through my transition, and then turned around and cheated on me and called me a freak. She called me a f*g in a dress -- and I rarely wore dresses!

I mean, I can't help thinking, "Come on! I've been with so many hotter chicks than you! And now I'm the freak? And I'm being dumped by you?" Obviously that's shallow and obnoxious, but I can't help thinking it. I'm just saying it sucks. It sucks being trans and having to choose between being a normal guy and a woman who may or may not be accepted as a woman and may or may not be able to get a job and may or may not be able to get a date.

In the end we have to forget about that and be ourselves and everything will work out so much better, but -- getting back on topic -- we have to work hard to try to see things from another person's perspective when they come to the forum and are maybe hurting and confused and asking the wrong questions.

[ReineD]

In the end we have to forget about that and be ourselves and everything will work out so much better, but -- getting back on topic -- we have to work hard to try to see things from another person's perspective when they come to the forum and are maybe hurting and confused and asking the wrong questions.

Nice to see you again, Raquel! :hugs:

And thanks for saying the above. It's true that sometimes we just need to be able to read between the lines.

But let me ask you ... (this is a general question and not about the OP) you've come across CDers in pink fogs who also enjoy looking like a woman, would like to have permanent facial hair removal in order to pass better, would like to grow breasts, wish they could live as a woman, who are not TS? Does wishing all those things mean that someone is TS? I'm interested in your opinion. Does having a sexual motive or not determine the difference?

[StarrOfDelite]

Exactly. You can't just "decide to become" a TS. It doesn't work that way. Either you are, or you aren't.

Preisely. It's like Mr. Ollivander says in the HP novels, "the wand chooses the wizard, not vice versa."

[Samantha_Smile]

IMO Transexuality is something you KNOW, not something you worry about.
If its been there from an early age and you hate your penis, then I say youre probably transexual.
If you 'dont mind' your penis then get therapy.
If you like you penis then stay CD/TV.
thats the long and short of the matter.
The way I see it, it comes down to dysmorphia, if you dont feel right in the skin youre in, Im mean WRONG in the skin youre in, then you need an extensive course of hormones and perhaps surgery.
Otherwise, if it keeps you happy, why change anything???

Just my 2 cents

[elizabethamy]

Does my own somewhat semi unusual story add anything? For me, crossdressing was/is a physical act that, once undertaken (at age 54, so timidly!) opened a door that I am not sure I would ever have seen otherwise. Now I feel fairly far down the transgender continuum/path, at least in spirit. So it's not about the clothes, or the shopping, or the wig and the makeup and the extra close shave, but those things soothe the gender dysphoria and they work somehow on the spirit/the unconscious...so it's not about the clothes, true, but it's not not about the clothes, either.

elizabethamy

[Raquel June]

IMO Transexuality is something you KNOW, not something you worry about.
If its been there from an early age and you hate your penis, then I say youre probably transexual.
If you 'dont mind' your penis then get therapy.
If you like you penis then stay CD/TV.
thats the long and short of the matter.
The way I see it, it comes down to dysmorphia, if you dont feel right in the skin youre in, Im mean WRONG in the skin youre in, then you need an extensive course of hormones and perhaps surgery.
Otherwise, if it keeps you happy, why change anything???

Those are some dangerous ideas you're putting out there.

You can't reduce transsexuality down to how much you like or dislike your penis. There are crazy people who try to cut off their penis who aren't transsexual. And there are transsexual people who are somewhat indifferent to their penis.

And likewise you can't equate how "comfortable you are in your skin" to how much you are or are not transsexual. Because, again, there are a lot of people with issues who are not at all comfortable in their skin who seriously need help but are not transsexual. And there are occasionally people who are absolutely transsexual but their life isn't a mess and they don't hate themselves.

If you want to simplify things, being transgendered is dependant on how much you would rather be another gender. It's not healthy for it to be a total focus on your genitalia or general dysphoria of feeling like you don't have a place in the world.

[Aprilrain]

I disagree. I decided to be TS, I thought to myself, how can i royally **** up my entire world just with words and clothes
here I am! ; )

in all seriousness, there are a LOT of misconceptions about TSes, a lot of bad information out there. Its not about who you want to ****. Its not about hating your penis or loving it its not about clothes but that doesn't mean you can't be all girly girl and love clothes and make up. Its not about a desire to have sex as a woman (or man for F2Ms) though if you are a woman it makes sense that you'd want to have sex as one. In a nut shell, for me, its about having the right body

[CINDYO]

becoming a transexual is not something you "decide". It is something that is inherent. Sounds like your SO has come to terms with all of this and is willing to let you go, so that you can be who you are. She apparently knows well who she is and what she wants. I suggest go ahead and live your life as you truly desire, your so has also come to terms (let go) in her mind and will deal with the what ever will be will be. Good for her and obviously for you.

[NathalieX66]

I disagree. I decided to be TS, I thought to myself, how can i royally **** up my entire world just with words and clothes
here I am! ; )

April, I know of several folk who started out as crossdressers, then after a few years later, transitioned or are transitioning. The notion that you are born transsexual is probably true, however there are many who don't act on it for various reasons, or act on it later in life. I have quite few friends who transitoned late in life, midlife actually, and from what they say, and from what i've observed, that the midlife transsexualism kicks in like a hyperbolic curve....that is the urges start on a low incline, then gradually begin to rocket up to an almost straight vertical path (the way I hope my 401K savings works :D).