What's your take on me?

[Rebecca Star]

Hi all,

While I try not to over analyse anything in life too much, the one topic over the years (even from a young age) which has me always going back to it, is whether I was supposed to be a guy or a girl.

The thought of surgically changing my gender is not and has never been an issue. Though, the feeling like I'm just not wired like a guy has always been there. Even when I was very young playing with dolls, dress-ups, tea parties etc...etc sat with me better than doing the usual stuff boys do.

As my life progressed, I was never interested in typical guy stuff - I'd much rather hang with the girls, discuss clothes etc...etc. 97% of my friends have always been genetic girls and I've always felt a very strong connection to them both emotionally and physically, if that makes sense.

Even the way I think does not run in parallel with a male. From a purely medical stand point, I'm sure I have much more estrogen coursing through my veins than testosterone.

Physically, I only have to shave facial hair once every 3 - 4 days and it's only ever grown sparsely on my chin and upper lip. Apart from my legs, pubic area and scalp, the rest of me is pretty much hairless. This lack of manhood so to speak, is further highlighted with size of my testicles - picture a small acorn and that's about it. While my arms, feet , hands and some other parts have never looked male.

While I don't feel I'm female trapped in a guys body, I've always displayed a softer more feminine side. Although I've always had GG partners, it's not uncommon for guys and girls to think I'm gay. My mannerism just give that impression. But on the flip, sexually I'm really only attracted to genetic girls - though I did sleep once with a guy but that's definitely not my thing!


My SO is supportive of my Cding (been together just on 7 years this month). However not too sure how or if she'd cope with me living full time as a TG. So for now, I'm keeping this close to my chest, least until I can obtain some more answers et...al.


As I said, I’ve always held these thoughts in my head and figured what better time to ask for opinions, suggestions or even help than the present.

ciao

Rebecca

[sandra-leigh]

Rebecca,

Have you looked at Klinefelter's Syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klinefelter%27s_syndrome), one of the more common intersexed conditions ?

[Rebecca Star]

Hi Sandra,

Thanks for the link :)
After reading that and the reference page to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypogonadism it's as if that's me they're talking about.

I suppose next step is to speak to our family Dr, who btw, is a female and in her early 30's.
She's a cool person.At this point I should discuss this with her and also let her in on the CDing too.


ciao

Rebecca

[Lesley_Roberta]

Sandra's link was interesting, here is another thought.

We humans have been long polluting our food and drinking water with a high order dose of chemicals meant to make the food easier to obtain (so we tell ourselves), but if I read correctly, it is all female type chemicals.

So we are basically turning our males into girly men essentially.

Some of us will be born this way, some of us will end up this way from other means, but in a lot of cases, we may well be doing this to our population and just unwilling to admit it.

We are also reducing male fertility from industrial and farming based polution of our environment regardless of whether we want to accept it officially or not.

Rising water levels globally and screwed up weather is NOT the only dumb ass shit modern man is gleefully doing to himself eh.

[Aprilrain]

Physical attributes mean nothing, even being inter-sexed does not necessarily = TS. If you do transition your less masculine body will certainly be a plus but don't read too much into having small hands and feet. I would be careful about using gender stereotypes to decide wether you think you are TS or not. for instance I played with G.I. Joe and legos does that mean I'm not TS??

If you are seriously questioning your gender than you should seek a qualified gender therapist to discuss your thoughts and feelings with. here is a link you may want to look at.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_scale

[Rebecca Star]

I would be careful about using gender stereotypes to decide wether you think you are TS or not. for instance I played with G.I. Joe and legos does that mean I'm not TS??

Fair call, points taken and noted :)

It's hard to tell either way from the little information I've provided.
To write everything that goes in and through my head, which also transcends a labyrinth of very real emotions, would take pages and then some.

However thanks for the link and also your insight.

[Traci Elizabeth]

As April stated, unless you see a professional (Psychiatrist for example) to help you to sort thought these feelings, you are running blind. Otherwise, just throw a dart at the dartboard of the gender continuum to find out where you fit.

[Jorja]

I think you are all screwed up! Boys thinking they are girls! What's next? Elephants thinking they are mice? :)

The best way to sort it out is to locate a good professional and talk through your feelings and thoughts.

[Raynefall]

I would say what most have said. Talk to a professional and get it all sorted out. You can figure it out yourself if you really take the time to explore the thoughts. But that could take as long as you want it to.

Even while I feel I have figured it all out and am completely for transitioning... I still have days and moments where I doubt myself and wonder if it really is the right thing to do. But it really all comes down to am I happy the way I am? That is the main question you must ask yourself.