Attending my first TG/TS support group meeting

[emmicd]

I am eagerly awaiting attending my very first TG/TS support group meeting. I will finally get to meet others in my situation and I am hoping it will allow me to open up and express my feelings. I am also encouraged by the organizer to come dressed en femme. This will be a first for me. It should be a positive experience.

Please relate your personal experiences with attending support group meetings and do your spouses attend meetings to help better understand your TG/TS situation?

Thank you!

emmi

[Jessinthesprings]

good luck it's a huge step. if you are anything like me you will be worried how you will be accepted. Don't be. You may or may not get a ton of information but you will benefit from socializing with like minded people. Have fun.

[emmicd]

Thank you Jess for sharing your experiences and for your good wishes. I will reach out to others so I can find friendships and learn from their experiences. I will probabaly be shy like I usually am but if I am wearing a dress and amongst others like me I will feel I fit right in. All my best to you! Love your profile pic!

emmi

[NathalieX66]

Support groups are always a good start.
I never saw a counselor or therapist, but I got plenty resources if I need to from the ones I've attended.

[FurPus63]

Support groups are the best! Certainly helped me with my transition. I began going every week, now I just go once a month or so when I need to....we have an excellent group in my area here in Ferndale, MI. We have between 20 -30 people that show up each meeting. Not always the same people. My therapist is co-facilitator. It's great! Go girl!

Paulette

[RachelOKC]

I am eagerly awaiting attending my very first TG/TS support group meeting. I will finally get to meet others in my situation and I am hoping it will allow me to open up and express my feelings. I am also encouraged by the organizer to come dressed en femme. This will be a first for me. It should be a positive experience.

Please relate your personal experiences with attending support group meetings and do your spouses attend meetings to help better understand your TG/TS situation?

Thank you!

emmi

Good luck, I am glad for you. You wanted to know on another thread how to deal with the shame and guilt? This is a good first step, hun.

I've been to good groups, I've been to bad groups. The best support groups are where people feel free to share difficult issues, actively participate in discussion, are non judgemental, and respect a diversity of expression or opinions.

My wife sometimes comes with me to my transgender parents group in SF, she's been to a few other things too. Mostly she stays home and watches the kid...but on nights she goes out to her things...that's my job. :)

[Nicole Erin]

Different support groups have different agendas.
The one I go to once in a while, we meet up, hang out, chat, have dinner (pitch in) and the hostesses tell us about whatever happenings are going on with the community like upcoming events such as SCC. Pretty informal and everyone is welcome.

Some groups though are a pain. We have another one in Indy where some creepy guy runs it and I think it is his personal cattle call to see what tranny or wife he wants to boink next.

But yeah attending a group you can maybe make more connections and if nothing else - hang out with folks who are not gonna ask if you are gay, if you want "the surgery", if your family knows, if your job knows, or if you voted for Petro.

Just don't do like I did during an intro and say, "My lover is with me tonight, and here he is" while holding up your right hand.

[Kristy_K]

I have never been to any meeting but I heard they could be fun. My best wishes to your first time out Emmi. Don't worry and just have fun.

[KellyJameson]

Ditto on Rachel's comment, there are good and bad groups just like any group.

I'm painfully shy, always have been and always will be and never found it possible to relax in the group setting but I also never experienced rudeness or cruelty either even though like any group they can be political and cliquish.

You will be warmly received and it can be an excellant confidence booster if you are able to overcome your shyness plus you will get alot of tips and valuable information and maybe friendship if that is what you desire.

I found myself much more nervous going to my first meeting than I ever did being on stage hiding behind a costume. I could not get past the feelings of being vulnerable and exposed, insecurity sucks!

Hope you have more courage than I did, I quickly gave up after a few meetings because it made me a nervous wreck.

Good Luck Emmi and no matter what happens at the meeting keep moving forward and you will find your place in the world.

[Frances]

Support groups and/or group therapy would be immensely befinicial in your case Emmi. There is usually an evening each quarter where spouses and friends are allowed to attend a support group meeting, but outsiders should be present at other times. It is important that attendees feel they can speak freely without being judged.

I have never worn a dress to such meetings. As a matter of fact, I only wear dresses at Holiday dinners or at the yearly Holiday office party. It's a good thing to look like you are making an effort to make your inner gender visible, but there is no need to go over board.

[ReineD]

Please relate your personal experiences with attending support group meetings and do your spouses attend meetings to help better understand your TG/TS situation?

My SO belongs to a fabulous group that has meetings on a monthly basis. The meetings are social and include dinner, a very short business meeting, and usually an activity (there have been talent nights, fashion shows, clothes swaps, Haloween & Christmas parties, makeup, hair, & skincare advice, voice techniques, among many other activities), or a speaker of interest. There is always a 50/50 raffle with many fun prizes. I won it once, the take was about $120! :)

The group is primarily there to help the newcomers, but it is also an effort in outreach, education, and a place to meet with old friends. Among the members there are transitioned and transitioning TSs, people who question whether or not they are TS, CDers who are extremely comfortable going out and who've been doing so for years, and some CDers/TSs who are still closeted and for whom this is the beginning of their paths. There are younger and older members. Everyone gets along beautifully and the wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, children, and parents are most welcome, although few attend. Last time one of the TSs/CDs (I have no idea whether or not she has transitioned or lives full time, and such attempts at "defining" people just don't happen there) gave a talk to student social workers about being trans and invited the class to attend. Only one student showed up, but still I love the openness and welcoming attitude of the group. There were about eight people at my table and we were involved in an engrossing discussion about societal attitudes and how to change this.

There is always a room available to change into femme clothing for those who need it. The evening usually lasts about four hours, and afterwards there is a small group of people who go out together to a nightclub or drinks or something. On a few occasions, some members have come in male clothing and this is not a problem. There've been shy beginners who've done this as well as established members who were rushing to the meeting from other engagements where they were not dressed, and who didn't have time to change. The President and Vice-President of the group are both post-op TSs. One is single and the other is in a long term marriage with her GG wife, who attends every meeting and who is also a lovely woman.

My SO attended consistently for a number of years before she began going out on her own. Now she goes just a few times per year and I've attended once or twice per year since dating my SO and I always have a great time.

I hope you find a group like this. :hugs:

[emmicd]

Thank you to all you wonderful girls for your wonderful replies! It is very nice to find a place you feel comfortable and you all make me feel comfortable here! I am glad I have a communuity to reach out to and feel I belong. You all are my friends and I appreciate it very much. I will provide in detail my experiences at my first meeting which is next Wednesday. Thank you!

emmi