possible friend or admirer?

[Being Paige]

Ok, so I went to a local bar in the afternoon. I got home early from work and got dressed and headed out for a drink or two. I have been going to this place most always during the day for a while now. So I always sit in a chair at the bar and the bartender and waitresses, all gg's treat me great, we talk about everything from school, work , you name it . Well there has at times been an older man that sits at the bar also and today he decides to come over and asks if he could join me. I said sure that would be nice. Anyway we start talking and soon enough he tells me that he loves to get dressed enfemme too but never goes out then askes questions on where I shop and buy all of the items needed. Then he said I looked great :o and told me that he has been admirering me for some time. He has given me his phone # and wants to meet at the bar again and or to go to his place for a glass of wine, he also wants some lessons on how to walk in heels more like a women can. I told him that it takes lots of practice and that I have been doing this for a long time. So I'm not sure if we are to become girl friends or?
Sorry for the long post but this was quite the experience.

[docrobbysherry]

Do u think u could take him if he got physical? While he sounds like a gentleman, Paige, remember one thing! "Gentleman" still ends with MAN! Be careful!

[Victoria StJohn]

Paige, I personally would go slow in developing this friendship. Having a girlfriend, would be nice; but, be cautious in how you approach this. I hope it turns out to be the way you want it.

[CloserthanthisGG]

My mom would tell you don't ever go to a strange man's place for a glass of wine. I would personally add "unless you are interested in more than wine" because though he may genuinely be trying to be girlfriends, is it worth the risk of danger at this point? Take great care. Get to know him better first to see what his intentions are. From experience... usually with men, they're not really trying to be your friend. Even if they're married, with kids, older, etc. Usually.

[Being Paige]

Yes for sure I would take this slowly, I would like to have a girl friend for sure, I think that meeting at the bar a few more times is in order.
Thanks

[RADER]

Yes, Caution should be the word to remember. I would only meet him in a public place,
like the bar, or maybe a coffee shop. I would only go to his house if you could bring a third person.
If you want to swap "E" mails, maybe, but hold him at an arms length for until you can trust him.
Find out why he is not on this forum, that way we all can get to know him.
Rader

[Beth Mays]

If you trust the people at the bar let them know someone know where you are going and ask them to call you at a set time..
I have done it for friends and even gone by the place just so the guy would know my friends are inportant to me.

[Cynthia Anne]

The guy is proberly on the up and ok! The best way to find out is to meet him at the bar a few more times and try to get to know him! NEVER take chances! Hugs!

[JessHaust]

I have many good girlfriends, but we met in public places, and we were always dressed. Having a girlfriend that shares and understands you is a wonderful feeling. Just be very sure he is really one of us before putting yourself in a compromising position.

[JamieQ]

This guy is probably okay, BUT I would only meet with someone like this in a public place such as the bar or cafe and just talk about things. No way his place for a drink of wine! Have it at the public bar. I don't think I would go the email either. If he really wants to talk to someone about his CD then he will keep comng to the bar... I wish I could meet someone to talk to in person, but for now thanks girls for this forum!!! Amanda

[Rebecca Star]

Just be very sure he is really one of us before putting yourself in a compromising position.

Some wise words there Jess!

Had to add, it's like being in a special club, kinda like the mouseketeers :)

[Jacqueline Winona]

Jess, you are playing with fire if you go to his house. Take things very slowly, it's your call how far you want to go, but if he can't convince you that he is really into dressing (and I know you can tell), be very carefull.

[KellyJameson]

Usually you can feel it when someone wants to have sex with you, there is a type of heat that comes off of them and they have a vibration because their whole body and mind is aware of your body, you can feel their hunger even if it is only to nibble.

My skin reacts when someone is looking at me that way and I become hyper aware of them, drinking in every nuance of their behavior.

You can also tell by the voice, it will take on a type of silky probing texture as they measure your reaction to them. There are elements to seduction that are always there.

Look into his eyes the next time he is talking to you and I guarantee you will know the truth because his face will be animated if he wants you, it is something that is very difficult to hide.

From my own experience I think that a significant percentage of the male population wants to have sex with CD/TG's and I always treat someone approaching me as if this is what they want, better to error on the side of caution than to wake up with no memory of what happen the previous twenty-four hours.

If you meet again assume there is a sexual interest because you will be more likely to notice subtle clues you may have missed the first time and if you are wrong no one is the wiser, trust your intuition "gut".

Even if you are not into guys it can be fascinating and educational when one tries to seduce you.

There is the nice guy who acts like a friend and moves slowly if he senses you are nervous or does not know how you will receive his advances, which is how your admirer comes across and than there is the other extreme who makes it clear they do not care about anything but sex and if it is not you it will be someone else.

The art of seduction is never boring if you sit back and take it all in without taking it personally and in my humble opinion I think you are being seduced, slowly ever so slowly but still I think that was the original intention and everything else is smoke and mirrors.

[muzzy]

go for it..you have his number and if you went to his place,you know where he lives

[Being Paige]

Thanks everyone for the great advice, I will most likely meet at the bar a few times to get to know him better, I know both his male and female names. He also showed me his freshly done mani/ pedi with a clear finish on. He is older then me possible late 50's early 60's, I'm 49. I think I can take him LOL. He seemed friendly and genuine to me but I do believe the safe route is to get to know him better.

[JessHaust]

Jess, you are playing with fire if you go to his house. Take things very slowly, it's your call how far you want to go, but if he can't convince you that he is really into dressing (and I know you can tell), be very carefull.
Janice, its Paige asking the question, not me!

[Jacqueline Winona]

Sorry, I had just read your post and forgot- that's what happens when you're on the internet and dead tired at the same time. :)

[sterling12]

IF you get around to The Trusting Part, and you decide to take a chance and go to his house; remember a simple strategy employed by all rational thinking GG's since Mr. Bell invented his contraption, back in the 1870's.

IN FRONT OF HIS FACE, ask for his HOME phone number, and call your friend with The Number. Instruct that friend to call you back AT THAT PHONE NUMBER in one half hour, and to call you again, an hour after that. If you feel uncomfortable, you can make further arrangements when he/she calls. If he makes an excuse, whatever it might be....don't get caught in a possibly very bad situation, DON'T go to his house. He now knows that you are TRACEABLE! Traceable right to his house! This would hopefully insure your not getting killed. (By the way, we had this happen a few years back at a favored TG Club in Clearwater. She went with him, didn't leave word with anyone, no way to check on her, and he killed her.)

Do face facts, even if not dangerous, he no doubt wants to find a friend to dress up with, and probably make "boom-boom." If your OK with that, aren't concerned about family or repercussions, then it's your decision. But, You can be an acquaintance, you guys can talk, kid around, whatever, and do all those things at A Bar. The "Boom-boom" however, would probably not happen at The Local Watering Hole. Your call, we mearly advise.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[WifeofWrenchette]

IF you get around to The Trusting Part, and you decide to take a chance and go to his house; remember a simple strategy employed by all rational thinking GG's since Mr. Bell invented his contraption, back in the 1870's.

IN FRONT OF HIS FACE, ask for his HOME phone number, and call your friend with The Number. Instruct that friend to call you back AT THAT PHONE NUMBER in one half hour, and to call you again, an hour after that. If you feel uncomfortable, you can make further arrangements when he/she calls. If he makes an excuse, whatever it might be....don't get caught in a possibly very bad situation, DON'T go to his house. He now knows that you are TRACEABLE! Traceable right to his house! This would hopefully insure your not getting killed. (By the way, we had this happen a few years back at a favored TG Club in Clearwater. She went with him, didn't leave word with anyone, no way to check on her, and he killed her.)

Do face facts, even if not dangerous, he no doubt wants to find a friend to dress up with, and probably make "boom-boom." If your OK with that, aren't concerned about family or repercussions, then it's your decision. But, You can be an acquaintance, you guys can talk, kid around, whatever, and do all those things at A Bar. The "Boom-boom" however, would probably not happen at The Local Watering Hole. Your call, we mearly advise.

Peace and Love, JoanieMost people no longer have home phone numbers, they only have cell phones. What does a person do in that instance?

Do you give the person's address in front of them?

I'm just curious. I'm married, but there is some really good advice in this thread that I could pass along to others. Thanks in advance.

[sterling12]

Well, my quick answer would be "If he can't supply a home phone number, don't go to his home!" Sometimes, we have to NOT get what we desire. Sometimes, we have to learn to live without it.

But, nothing says a person has to go to The House immediately. I'd probably counter with a very honest rebuttal: "Look, I really don't know you well enough to say that I can COMPLETELY trust you." "If you really want to have a friendship with me, I am sure that you will do everything you can, to reassure me." Please give me your Address, give me a chance to verify that's where you really live, and maybe next time you can show me your home."

I think A Man who was "really interested," wouldn't have a problem with that! I think if he had any empathy at all, he could understand your misgivings, and would work very hard to prove he was "legit!" When I've gone out on dates with someone new, I've often asked Her to "Please call your friend/daughter, and let them know where you'll be." I think it shows Courtesy, and manners from The Guy, and hopefully will create enough trust to further The Relationship.

It might be old-fashioned, but if I were The Lady (whatever flavor of "Lady"), I think I would be flattered and impressed.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[diane too]

surely take all caution at all times.....on the other hand maybe she wants to meet you at the door en femme as a suprise, prehaps she doesn't get out often and this is her way to meet a friend, i would go but be very careful and do everything the other ladies said.

[Julia_in_Pa]

If you go to his place you can slip a sedative into his drink then while he's asleep you can rob him.
Just a thought.


Julia

[StarrOfDelite]

Just a couple of observations, not all of which are consistent with each other:

1.) If this fellow is a regular at the same bar to which you go regularly, does it seem likely that he's a Jack the Ripper mimic looking to dissect your private parts?
2.) Are you interested in him sexually? You don't mention whether you are into dating men or not, and your description doesn't make it sound as if you are attracted to him. It's been my experience that the girls or admirers who "just want to dress up" with me also want to play with me. If you're not interested in doing the horizontal bop, why would you go to his house in the first place?
3.) If you're uncertain, and if you have a cell phone, send yourself a text message to your computer email when you read his house address. That information can never be erased, and it would mean that if he is Jack the Ripper you're going to be the last White Chapel prostitute he carves up. :-)
4.) I'm a second degree black belt in tae kwando, and a former Force Recon Marine, and I don't consider myself to be invulnerable. If you are at all uncertain remember that even if you can "take" someone in a fair fight, there's many a time when a big strong man has been killed by someone who got an advantage by trickery. In other words, run like hell if you see a roll of duct tape and a piece of piano wire strung between two wooden handles on his kitchen counter.
5.) The old song: Here's to the maid who steals a kiss and runs to tell her mother, she's a foolish foolish thing for she'll not get another. Nothing in life is certain, and if you're afraid of everyone and everything just because you're wearing a dress and heels then you're likely to miss a lot of life's experiences.
6.) Go back and reread Kelly Jamieson's post, because there's a lot of good stuff in it.