Hair issue.

[Kimberlyfaye]

I have a problem ladies and I could really use some advice.

Thing is, I looked in the mirror and saw a guy staring back. But his hair has almost reached his shoulders. Now I don't know if I should have it cut down to it's regular very short length orlet ot grow to my wig length. I think I am looking more like a female with my hair this length and if it gets longer it might make me really happy. But the problem is this. I don't want people commenting on the length of my hair and saying it's girly. I still haven't come out to more than a few close friends. I think it would be so nice to have my own long hair instead of a wig but at the minute I don't want the added attention to it. Yet if I get it cut it will take ages to grow back to this length and I'm starting to like it! What do you think I should do?

Hugs x

[suzy1]

Sounds like you want it all “you want your cake and eat it too” as my old mum used to say.

Your decision girl. You’re on your own on this one.

SUZY

[Karren H]

That's easy.... Just always wear a dress or a skirt and no one will make any comments on your hair!

[RainyNightGirl]

Mikayla, I would keep your hair as long as you can and not cut it. In your photo your hair is gorgeous, I would do what you can to keep it that way. I think it is worth any attention you will get, and then even if the attention is from people you have not come out to then it is unlikely to happen, will really be minimal (if at all) and you may very well come out to them in due course anyway. What is a taking a short jibe really in relation to years of growing your own amazing locks. Best of luck girl. Hugs

PS: I am a home counties girl as well.....

[Chari]

There are many hair styles that can be worn by either gals or guys, both long styles, short styles and some in between. Please consider going to a professional hair stylist that is accepting/understanding to your CD issue and tell them of your dilema. Having hair a bit longer than most "guy" hair styles can be changed into a cute gals hair style by trimming a little, setting the hair with a few rollers & adding some hair spray. I know 'cause I've done this!

[NicoleScott]

I don't want people commenting on the length of my hair and saying it's girly.

I can't imagine this happening nowadays. Any length is acceptable. However, your hair style may hint that it's girly, or not. You can continue to grow it out and wear like a guy would when you're in guy mode, or wear it girly when in girl mode.

[Sandra1746]

As others have noticed, it is your decision. You can find guys with really long hair or really short hair. Actually the same comment can apply to GGs too.

For me; I am letting my hair grow out and it is almost at my shoulders. I've been letting it grow for a year and plan to let it continue. How long it gets is an open question but I am enjoying it long and like the way it looks. Longer will also work better for a ponytail to prevent it getting in my face in the wind, it's "just barely" long enough for one now.

The amusing detail is that I keep getting referred to by the feminine pronoun at first glance regardless of my mode of dress. That's fun and I do like that. I typically wear earrings and a necklace so those are fem-cues but the hair is the main cue that most folks use. BTW, my hair color is "platinum blonde" AKA grey.

Long hair takes more "care and feeding" and isn't something I can ignore for a couple days like I could my buzz-cut. Still, nothing worthwhile is easy or simple. Most GGs wear their natural hair, not a wig. Besides, your natural hair may get mussed in the wind but it won't go skittering away like a wayward cat...LOL.

My vote is for long hair.
Enjoy life,
Sandra1746

[5150 Girl]

Grow your hair and add some eyeliner! Remeber the movie "Rock Star"?
Copy repair guy - (has long hair tied into a pony tail) Teling guy who jamed the machine how to clear it....
Jam guy - "Are you wearing maskara?"
Repair man - "Im in a band!"
Jam guy - "Oh...."

[Stephanie47]

Keep the hair and grow it to the length you want. When you're older you may not have any hair and need to wear a wig. Enjoy it now. You can follow Karen's advice. However, maybe wearing tee shirts with your favorite rock band will suffice. Long year back in the 1960's meant you were a 'hippie.' Over my professional career I had met middle age men who wore business suits and had a pony tail. Noone ever made the assumption they were crossdressers. I would stay away from pig-tails tho!

[Amber Anderson]

I don't have the problem some of the other girls have, I need to wear a wig. If you can get away without a wig, Go for it!

[paulaloha]

I had this same debate a few weeks ago... I opted to cut my hair, now I regret that decision. And truth be told, my hair was only a little over an inch and a half long. But it took me a few months to grow that out. So If I regret cutting off an inch I expect you may regret cutting off several. So now I'm trying to decide if I just want to keep my hair short and use a wig when I dress, or if I actually want to attempt to grow my hair out. I'm thinking more and more about growing it out.

But my actual advice is this, don't cut it just yet. Make sure you think long and hard about it. It's easy and quick to cut it and hard to grow it back. So make sure you know what YOU want to do with it first. And in the time that you think through all this it will continue to get longer, which will benefit you if you decide to keep the hair, and it really won't matter much if you decide to cut it.

Best of luck with your decision!

Paula

[Edyta_C]

I would just keep it long and wear it in a low "guy" pony tail. When it really gets long have your hair layered so you can fluff it out for girl mode or put it in a low pony for drab.

[docrobbysherry]

Don't ask me! I'm a bald guy. To ME, head hair is like precious stones! Would u ask a gold miner if u should flush all your nuggets down the toilet!?

[Sara Jessica]

Here's the deal. It's not so much that long hair on a guy is inherently "girly". Instead, if you are worried about what others MIGHT say, it's likely because long hair may be considered inappropriatesville depending on your place in the community. If you are confident enough to simply own it, grow away and enjoy the benefits. I share this from an experienced POV, for better or for worse.

[Deidre]

i had long hair when i was younger, and i like it long because of my girly side, but when my hair gets long it gets currly. i had people calling me goldylocks, but i didnt care i didnt make it look girly so i just let it grow down to the middle of my back. if i wasnt goin bald on top id still have it, but any more with the goth emo look many boy have girly hair cuts because its the style so maybe you will just be starting a new trend. ;) hugs

[PretzelGirl]

Here is my experience. I grew mine out while working (and still do) in a professional environment. With my close co-workers, I got some comments about being the token hippie. For all others, it isn't mentioned. I keep it in a ponytail when I go out in guy mode. The only girl comment I ever got was while it was in the awkward, in-between mode where I couldn't tie it up. I walked past a mother and a young boy in a parking lot and he went "Mom, why does that man have girl's hair". That is it, the only non-hippie comment. While it was in the awkward stage, I even gave a speech in front of about 100 people. Used it as the icebreaker joke by giving an almost completely true story about losing a bet.

As far as dressing, it is a trade-off. Never having a wig, I can't say this from experience. But I suspect it can sometimes be nice to put on your wig and run. When you have long hair, you have to care for it daily whether dressing or not. You also have to do something with it each and every time you get dressed. The cuts (styles) are more expensive. So you have to look at all the trade-offs. I'll take my hair thank you!

[Sarah Doepner]

I've grown my hair out, but being an oldster, it's thin and gray. So if I'm going to go out I still wear wigs and wish I had hair thick enough to avoid the wigs. Unless there is a dress and grooming code at your work that requires short hair, you can be a "hippie" and let them think what they will.

[chelseababy]

I recently cut my hair from bottom of my neck length to a short back and sides with a 4 on the sides! I'm absolutely gutted now and feel like its going to take FOREVER to grow back :( If you do decide to cut it, decide and then give yourself a week to think it over imo, i think if i had done that I would have hair at shoulder length about now :(

[DeeJayGram]

LOL, with my current job, i must have a short hair cut, so when en-fem, I wig it.

[Lyric]

Well, you have to make the choices that best fit your situation, but having both grown out my hair and cut it to please others, I think long hair is really worth it for me. Wearing long hair doesn't have to indicate you're a crossdresser, anyway. Most men with long hair never wear skirts. This is entirely a matter of your own inhibitions, I think.

When you first grow it out, you get some comments from people who see you often-- and this go on for a year or two. But once your hair is long, is well taken care of and looks good that way, the comments basically stop. People assume that's the way you look now and their attention goes to other things.

Most importantly, think about how you'll feel about yourself if you cut it for the stated reason. To most people your hair length is at best a passing thought. To you is it's much more.

~ Lyric ~

[sissystephanie]

Your hair is a real asset!! I know several men in my area who have hair as long, or longer, than yours! Of course Karren's advice is very good, but maybe you can't do that. So just wear it long and looking good, and be happy! At least you have hair to go long!!

[Kimberlyfaye]

Thanks for all your comments. I will leave it to grow. When it gets longer I will see if I like it and decide what to do then. I am not going to worry what people think of it. It's about time I stood up for this girl screaming to get out. For once Mikayla's needs can come first.

[Deidre]

i totaly know how you feel on the it time for her to be out more for me to

[Samantha_Smile]

I keep my hair guy length, and Im very happy.
Simple really.
Day to day, doesnt need much upkeep.
Doesnt get in my food when eating.
Doesnt get in my way when gaming/doing other guy related stuff.

I say keep it wig lenght reason being;
Low maintenance.
Style change is as much as ebay charges.
you save on salon costs
you dont make it obvious to friends and family

If your TS this might not be applicable. But as a CD/TV its the best advice you'll get

[Ellyn]

I just wish your problem was my problem. I have gone through decades without the hair I have longed to have. If it was my problem I would have my hair styled and trimmed and wear it in a real feminine style.

[Jane G]

Thanks for all your comments. I will leave it to grow. When it gets longer I will see if I like it and decide what to do then. I am not going to worry what people think of it. It's about time I stood up for this girl screaming to get out. For once Mikayla's needs can come first.

Sounds like the right decision. My hair is too long to look smart in guy mode right now. I would love to let it grow longer, alas the one who matters to me most prefers me to look like a smart guy, more than a middle aged gal. So it will have to be cut soon. I recall being in a bar in Scotland some years ago. I mentioned to my buddy that the girl playing pool with the long dark hair looked alright and yes you guessed it, stood up from the shot to reveal a 6+ft china man.eek::o

[susiepaul]

hi Mikaylafaye
i went threw (i know this is not the correct spelling of the word but i cannot work out how to spell it) this many years ago and then it was not as normal for men to have long hair but in the end i use to tie it up in a pony tail with just a elastic in and other times i would brush it out into a more girly style once it was long enough to put in a high pony tail i would wear it high up in a pony tail with a ribbon in and never got a comment about it except for being told that it suited me now my hair is half way down my back and i love it i wear it in lots of different styles from a simple pony tail to pig tails and either one or two french braids now and then some one will ask why do i have my hair like a girl and a answer how many girls do you see with either pig tails or ribbons in their hair? it is seldom that you see any girls looking girly now they all seam to keep their hair cropped and in male styles, if it is OK for women to have men's styles then it is OK for men to have women's styles.

just wear your hair the way you like if anyone asks why you have it that way tell them it is because you can if they try to make fun of you it is most likely that they are jealous as i bet they cannot grow their own hair or they are going bald.

regards Paulie

[Beverley Sims]

As you have let it grow for this length of time leave it alone.
Most everybody would be used to it by now, if the say you look like a poof smile and say thank you.
The rest of the people about you may comment about it but until your friends stop talking to you............
LEAVE IT ALONE.:)

[Sara Jessica]

...If your TS this might not be applicable. But as a CD/TV its the best advice you'll get

It really isn't about a CD/TV versus TS thing. Hair is hair and having your own long hair is something that is purely magical no matter how one identifies.

Some advantages to having your natural hair...


styling it is so much fun
taking care of it isn't so bad either
windy days pose no threat
it's amazing to feel your own hair dancing upon your shoulders
it can be a game-changer when it comes to presentation (as in it will never look like a wig at first glance)


And here is a bonus that could be more applicable to those on the TS side of things...

I can be in guy mode, even scruffy of face in anticipation of an upcoming electrolysis appointment and yet can feel utterly feminine with my long hair. I find this to be true no matter how I might be presenting, thus making this part of my (irrational?) psychological connection with my hair.

Clearly I am able to encourage anyone to grow their hair out if it's right for them. But like I said before, you have to absolutely own it.

[Brigid]

Mikayla, your hair is gorgeous. If it was mine I would not cut it. I'm growing my hair out also but mine will never look as good as yours. You are a beautiful girl.

Brigid

[Cheryl T]

If you've got it...Flaunt it.
I wish I had the ability to grow mine out but my genes have taken their toll and I would look like a female monk with that god awful blank spont on the top of my head.
I had mine long while I was younger and in college and if I were that age again in today's world my hair would be past my shoulders with no looking back.

[Kimberlyfaye]

Just so there's no confusion the hair in my picturesis my wig. I want mine that length. My own hair is just at the bottom of my neck.right now. I have had a few comments from family that it needs cutting but they seemed to have died down a bit like a couple of you have mentioned.

Oh well I will keep growing it and see how it goes. One day might have a new picture to post with my real locks :-)