Do other Transgender aquaintances request using proper gender pronouns?

[Phoebe]

Last night and at previous meetings of Tans Folks Friends & Allies: http://www.outfront.org/avp/tffa the facilitator asked which gender pronoun we would like to be referred? The facilitator (formerly GG female) wants to be referred to as they or them. One other former GG suggested "Spivak's" pronouns: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spivak_pronoun and used the 'Elverson' pronouns 'ey' and 'eir' for the referral pertaining to the preferred pronoun. Myself am not really offended by any particular gender pronoun as being a crossdresser I said 'Him' or 'Her'.

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Janet,

If I was with you, I would refer to you by the gender that you were presenting. As I am a woman, I would prefer people to refer to me by the correct gender.

I'm sorry to say that I find those "Spivak" pronouns to be contrived and unwieldy. As far as gender-neutral pronouns are concerned, the English language has long used the plural applied to a single person. So when I read of the former GG who chose the contrived pronoun, I think that they were simply making life difficult for themself.

[Aprilrain]

I agree with Rianna, those other words are so useless that the OP felt SHE needed to refer to a F2M TS as a "former GG" jeez why can't he just be a him?? as if transition were not weird enough for people this boarders on the sublime!

[AllieSF]

I also agree with Rianna and April. I bet those same people will get upset when no one seems to be able to remember what proper or improper pronoun to use. They are only creating and asking for problems for themselves where none previously existed.

[sandra-leigh]

As far as gender-neutral pronouns are concerned, the English language has long used the plural applied to a single person.

Historically, the third person plural was used in English to refer to the third person singular of indefinite gender. The male third person singular ("he") became more popular in time, but the plural ("they") is also correct English.

[Lesley_Roberta]

English is already a buggered to hell and back language. Last thing I want to do is add a new layer needing complicated explanations to all my non native English speaking internet friends.

[Rebecca Star]

English is already a buggered to hell and back language. Last thing I want to do is add a new layer needing complicated explanations to all my non native English speaking internet friends.

I agree :)

Political correctness can sometimes be taken to the point of being absurd, if not ridiculas. Why do some people feel the need to change "Him" and "Her". If they have this much spare time on their hands, they should consider donating it to a worthwhile charity and actually doing something useful for human kind.

add - In the time it took to write this, 3 or more children in Sudan have died from starvation...just something to think about!

okies vent over :)

[ReineD]

I can't imagine any TSs here wanting to be adressed other than "she" or "her". You ladies are solidly on the female end of the spectrum. :)

But, (sorry to always be coming up with non-binary stuff), there are indeed people who are not, and who feel uncomfortable with either masculine or feminine pronouns. I know several birth females like this. The gender neutral pronouns are their preferences. One friend uses hir proper and middle name initials as hir name. Ze doesn't want to get a guy's name or a girl's name.

There's a whole spectrum of people out there. Here's a list of different choices for gender neutral pronouns. They're tricky, and difficult to get used to:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-neutral_pronoun#Summary

[sandra-leigh]

Why do some people feel the need to change "Him" and "Her". If they have this much spare time on their hands, they should consider donating it to a worthwhile charity and actually doing something useful for human kind.


You know, the interesting thing about people who want to change the world is that many of them volunteer time or funds for things they believe in. A lot of time in some cases. Are you sure you want to get into contests of comparing whether you or someone else has done more "something useful for human kind" ?

[JohnH]

I can be called masculine or feminine pronouns - as long as I am not referred as an "it" (neuter gender).

John

[Phoebe]

I agree with Rianna, those other words are so useless that the OP felt SHE needed to refer to a F2M TS as a "former GG" jeez why can't he just be a him?? as if transition were not weird enough for people this boarders on the sublime!

Not sound redundant but the former GG does not want to be male, she identifies as gay/lesbian butch.

Interesting none the less to the discussions at the meeting last Thursday about using proper pronouns. The facilitator also identifies as a 'person' not female or male. The TFFA and CLCC (City of Lakes Crossgender Community) are the only meetings of Transgender persons that the gender pronoun classification came up.
Yes I also said I was a crossdresser and that what people call me or 'classify' me as doesn't matter. Again using 'labels' for identification is of no consequence to my judgement of others. We all in this world together, so live life the best one can.

[mcvste]

I can be called masculine or feminine pronouns - as long as I am not referred as an "it" (neuter gender).

John

Calling anyone 'it' is very rude.

[CloserthanthisGG]

Sometimes, I forget peoples names that I actually work with and have been working with for four years. It's just a thing with me and names. So I have loooong been avoiding names when I greet people for this reason. When I say someone's name, it's either special, or I need their attention. and not just for a good morning. Usually it's "hey, all!" or "Good morning, boss". Or "Happy Tuesday, Awesome-World!" because that's what the QA department likes to be called. For some reason, that's easier to remember than Srinivas, Malcolm, George, Frank, Sonia... etc. I just would feeeeel reeeally awful if i called George "Fred". Or Doug, "Mike", which i always seem to do if I use a name at all.

But I notice that other people always say my name and it kinda makes me feel guilty.

But I know that Lisia is very feminine, but even in the pink fog says that he's uncomfortable with 'her' and 'she' . I feel the need to double check now and then though, because I think that this preference has the possibility of changing? Lisia is not offended by "he" or "she" but "she" is a bit more uncomfortable than "he". So, mostly it's pet names or "girlfriend" or "sexy -honey-sugar-nut-muffin" or some derivative. Or his actual name. But the weird thing is, even his actual name doesn't fit exactly. It just works to get his attention.

But it's really hard when there seem to be almost as many pronouns as there are individuals, and I know this falls into the category of "i'm not going to remember, but please don't be insulted." I remember who you are, but names and pronouns are not natural to me. Connections are.

I'm aware that I am crazy. :) I've already contacted a therapist. Just need to make an appointment.