Do you miss "it"

[Pamela girl]

I mostly just read here but had to ask, Do you miss "it"? Like when it would be so quick just to step behind something and relieve yourself but have to find a real restroom, or when you are just used to "it" being there since it has been forever and now it's not?
Or does it just make you smile since "it's" not there when you cross your legs and nothing gets mashed or you are able to wear a snug skirt and there is no bulge there anymore and you don't have to worry about tucking?
Or are there other times when you miss "it" or are glad "it's" gone
Can't help but be curious. Thanks

[christinac]

Interesting question. I'm sorry to say that I'm not qualified to answer it. At least not yet!!

[Bree-asaurus]

I just got my balls removed, so I still have 'it'... (for now) but I can't imagine a TS who gets rid of it would ever miss anything about it.

I've never stood up to pee, or just gone behind a tree or whatever...

In a pinch, a girl can still squat to pee in nature, so what's the big deal about standing and pointing?

And there's more to getting rid of it than just not having to tuck...

[Jorja]

Miss what? I have squatted to pee many times over the years. When you got to go, you got to go. :)

[crystalann]

I had to think what you where asking miss it? ?Then it came to me :bonk:sorry I'm slow, so I have to say no not at all. It was never part of me in my mind.:)

[Lesley_Roberta]

It's a common myth that girls can't pee into a urinal. They can, but girls are so completely conditioned to think they can't most likely would never think to try.

I've watched a girl pee standing up. Just takes a small bit more skill. That, and I suppose the clothing needs to be more cooperative in design. A girl can do it in a skirt of dress, likely can't in pants.

[Frances]

No......................

[Sharon]

I haven't lost the dang thing yet, but I know for darn sure that I will never miss it once it's gone.

[Badtranny]

Or does it just make you smile since "it's" not there when you cross your legs and nothing gets mashed or you are able to wear a snug skirt and there is no bulge there anymore and you don't have to worry about tucking?

I can't imagine this having anything at all to do with the experience of a post-op. Could be wrong, I'm only nutless, but they get rid of it for far deeper reasons than bulges and tucking. Also, most of the post-ops I've talked to always considered it to be more of a nuisance than a convenience.

[ReineD]

It's a common myth that girls can't pee into a urinal. They can, but girls are so completely conditioned to think they can't most likely would never think to try.

Lol, I've tried, on a dare in high school when a few of us were cleaning up after a dance. It was awkward. :p

[Kathryn Martin]

I have mulled over this thread for a few hours trying to figure out whether this question is asked tongue in cheek.

There is so much wrong with this question from so many wrong angles it literally boggles my mind. "it" has no meaning for someone who is transsexual, it is just there. Relieving your bladder has little to do with "it"which in the context is at best a conduit. If you consider stepping behind a tree a convenience sufficient enough to miss "it" after surgery then your therapist should be prosecuted for clearing you for surgery. Moreover, "it" being there for a time might be the reason to kill yourself, so.....

Also surgery for the purpose of not "mashing it" and the capacity to wear snug shirts, oh boy, where do I even begin..... you must believe that surgery is a lifestyle choice.

Curiosity is great, and clearly you needed to ask, but it's a wrong question from every angle. Those few who regret their surgery mutilated themselves ......

Sorry


I mostly just read here but had to ask, Do you miss "it"? Like when it would be so quick just to step behind something and relieve yourself but have to find a real restroom, or when you are just used to "it" being there since it has been forever and now it's not?
Or does it just make you smile since "it's" not there when you cross your legs and nothing gets mashed or you are able to wear a snug skirt and there is no bulge there anymore and you don't have to worry about tucking?
Or are there other times when you miss "it" or are glad "it's" gone
Can't help but be curious. Thanks

[Kristy_K]

To stand would be just a bad reminder for me .

[MC-lite]

I was born without "it", so no...I don't miss "it".

[Tara D. Rose]

No I don't miss it for "IT" is still with me. It's a good freind of mine, I love to walk around the house dressed in all lingerie, and IT swinging and flopping left and right, to the music. IT has been my best friend at times, but it has also done me wrong and lied to me. And then I get mad at IT, but IT just looks up at me and sort of pouts with that smile, and I forgive IT. I guess I will always be friends with,, IT.

[pamela_a]

I have mulled over this thread for a few hours trying to figure out whether this question is asked tongue in cheek.

There is so much wrong with this question from so many wrong angles it literally boggles my mind. "it" has no meaning for someone who is transsexual, it is just there. Relieving your bladder has little to do with "it"which in the context is at best a conduit. If you consider stepping behind a tree a convenience sufficient enough to miss "it" after surgery then your therapist should be prosecuted for clearing you for surgery. Moreover, "it" being there for a time might be the reason to kill yourself, so.....

Also surgery for the purpose of not "mashing it" and the capacity to wear snug shirts, oh boy, where do I even begin..... you must believe that surgery is a lifestyle choice.

Curiosity is great, and clearly you needed to ask, but it's a wrong question from every angle. Those few who regret their surgery mutilated themselves ......

Sorry

Very well said Kathryn, I agree completely.

[Bree-asaurus]

I have mulled over this thread for a few hours trying to figure out whether this question is asked tongue in cheek.

There is so much wrong with this question from so many wrong angles it literally boggles my mind. "it" has no meaning for someone who is transsexual, it is just there. Relieving your bladder has little to do with "it"which in the context is at best a conduit. If you consider stepping behind a tree a convenience sufficient enough to miss "it" after surgery then your therapist should be prosecuted for clearing you for surgery. Moreover, "it" being there for a time might be the reason to kill yourself, so.....

Also surgery for the purpose of not "mashing it" and the capacity to wear snug shirts, oh boy, where do I even begin..... you must believe that surgery is a lifestyle choice.

Curiosity is great, and clearly you needed to ask, but it's a wrong question from every angle. Those few who regret their surgery mutilated themselves ......

Sorry

Yes, sounds very much like someone who doesn't understand transsexuality trying to figure things out. It's funny how often this question is asked. Men who love their penis just can't understand what it's like to not love it... so they assume everyone else that has or had a penis loved it just as much. It's like... they think transsexuals get SRS for some other reason... like a kink or something... and then wake up the next day and think "OH NO! WHY DID I GET MY PENIS REMOVED?!?!?! I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH! STUPID KINK MAKING ME GET RID OF THE THING I LOVE!!!"

If only people would take a little time to take a look at the evidence and try to formulate a somewhat logical and coherent hypothesis before coming to such odd conclusions.


No I don't miss it for "IT" is still with me. It's a good freind of mine, I love to walk around the house dressed in all lingerie, and IT swinging and flopping left and right, to the music. IT has been my best friend at times, but it has also done me wrong and lied to me. And then I get mad at IT, but IT just looks up at me and sort of pouts with that smile, and I forgive IT. I guess I will always be friends with,, IT.

Wow... TMI... didn't need to know about your flippy floppy hobbies.

[KellyJameson]

For those with a "it" who do not plan on keeping "it" you may want to take care of "it" so the surgeon can make your outie an innie.

The thing you dislike could someday be the thing you love.

[Beth-Lock]

...are there other times when you miss "it" ....
Can't help but be curious. Thanks

I have wondered if when you get up at night and forget,... Or when you are just absent minded and stand in front of the toilet...

I thought, well, it would not be much different when as a man, you get clumsy, and do it all down your leg and a bit into your shoe.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I agree Kathyrn...I"m not a fan of the question...

I'm almost impossible to offend, so i can't say its an offensive question...
but the question gave me the heebie jeebies because its about a kink...and it clearly shows why sometimes people get pi**ed off when there is supposed to be this big inclusive "tg umbrella"..

As transsexuals we are dehumanized all the time...

[Aprilrain]

I have wondered if when you get up at night and forget,... Or when you are just absent minded and stand in front of the toilet...

I thought, well, it would not be much different when as a man, you get clumsy, and do it all down your leg and a bit into your shoe.

get up at night and forget what?? to sit on the toilet?? i don't think i have ever attempted standing and peeing when I was still half asleep, I clean my own bathroom!

guys are gross eww!

[DeeDee1974]

Quite the ccontrary. "it" is keeping me from feeling complete. Someday I'll be complete & can't ever imagine thinking twice about what it was like when I had "it".

[Andie Elisabeth]

get up at night and forget what?? to sit on the toilet?? i don't think i have ever attempted standing and peeing when I was still half asleep, I clean my own bathroom!

guys are gross eww!
:2c::
When I am at dormitory during week I sometimes fear to sit, I can lock the door, because it's testosterone dominated school and bathrooms and restrooms (two of each for entire floor) are de facto unisex. No one explained to them that toilet seat is not something to stand on or pee through it.

I sit at home, always.

[Badtranny]

guys are gross eww!

LOL, yeah, remember trying to fit in as a dude and every time one of them caught you trying to be tidy they would jokingly say; "you're such a fag". My life definitely changed when I actually came out as a fag a few years ago.

Peeing in your shoe? Yikes, I never sit unless I have to, and somehow my shoe stays dry. My cute little puppy on the other hand does tend to pee inappropriately.

[Bree-asaurus]

I have wondered if when you get up at night and forget,... Or when you are just absent minded and stand in front of the toilet...

I thought, well, it would not be much different when as a man, you get clumsy, and do it all down your leg and a bit into your shoe.

I think I've only stood up to pee once or twice. I think it's stupid. Is it really that hard to sit down? Especially when you're at your house or a friends? I hate having parties and then cleaning up after all the lazy, disgusting men who piss all over the place.

If standing up to pee is something you cherish... I hope you're not considering SRS...

[Traci Elizabeth]

Well, I now have had my dose of Weirdness for the day. I am not even going to respond to the Op's silly sexual fantasy Question!

[kellycan27]

Interesting question. I'm sorry to say that I'm not qualified to answer it. At least not yet!!

Hey........... Go ahead and answer. So far it looks like the majority of responders still have theirs too, but they didn't have any qualms.:heehee:

Kel

[Raynefall]

I have to say that this is one of the strangest threads I have seen... If you are getting "it" removed and end up missing "it" then you shouldn't have been cleared to go through with the process. They have the restrictions in place for a reason. Like the one year of living as a woman. It's meant to prevent this from happening.

I haven't even started so I can't officially say if I would miss "it". But isn't the whole point of going into surgery to remove it so you feel right with yourself? I am sure there are a few cases where people come out of it and end up hurting themselves, but generally I don't see missing "it" to be a factor at all.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Miss what no way I love my female part.

[Frances]

I have to say that this is one of the strangest threads I have seen... If you are getting "it" removed and end up missing "it" then you shouldn't have been cleared to go through with the process. They have the restrictions in place for a reason. Like the one year of living as a woman. It's meant to prevent this from happening.

I haven't even started so I can't officially say if I would miss "it". But isn't the whole point of going into surgery to remove it so you feel right with yourself? I am sure there are a few cases where people come out of it and end up hurting themselves, but generally I don't see missing "it" to be a factor at all.

That is exactly it. The question becomes irrelevant if someone goes through the transitional process, which includes lots of therapy. Only the ones who skip some of the steps and buy their letters may miss it. Gatekeeping is not about preventing people from getting surgery, but minimizing the chances of regret. Only people lying to themselves will miss it in my opinion.

[Beth-Lock]

I guess there are extreme cases of missing it. I did hear once of a guy who came out of GRS, looked down and, there it was, missing! Then he freaked out, going beserk. (I use the term 'he' since it seems appropriate, since he had never got his mind around being a 'she.')

A more practical issue, is that your toilet habits do have to change and being habits, it takes a certain amount of time for them to lose their grip on your behaviour, where they are deeply buried and automatic. I guess it is wise, long before surgery to stop peeing standing up, and get in the habit of always sitting down. Then too, as a woman, you have to be more careful wiping your bottom, going from centre-front to back only. (You cannot get anything unclean in your vagina, or it will cause an awful infection.) Again, it is wise to get in the habit in this regard too, long before surgery. Psychologists say it takes a minimum of a month to form a new habit. I think it takes longer, particularly if you have to extinguish an old one.

So, while the original question seemed a little faulty, in fact, it raises some important issues.

[Frances]

I guess there are extreme cases of missing it. I did hear once of a guy who came out of GRS, looked down and, there it was, missing! Then he freaked out, going beserk. (I use the term 'he' since it seems appropriate, since he had never got his mind around being a 'she.'

Again, that's it. Why would a woman have to wrap her mind around being a "she?" And why would a guy get GRS? Asking about the possibility of missing it may be a clue to one's core identity.

[Monica]

I suppose in some ways it is not so different from the question of been on HRT and missing erections. I don’t miss those and I can not wait to get rid of the ‘it’.

As for the toilets, it took me only few weeks to get into the habits. I doubt very much I will miss the ‘it’.

However, it was a surprise to me finding how dirty some women washrooms were.

Monica

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Again, that's it. Why would a woman have to wrap her mind around being a "she?" And why would a guy get GRS? Asking about the possibility of missing it may be a clue to one's core identity.

Exactly

the most amazing thing i learned post grs is that its impact was much less than i anticipated in so many ways..(all the ways i could think of before surgery),

and its impact was so transcendent in the ways i didn't think of..

its not that i finally found out "what its like", its that i didn't care anymore...and its the not caring anymore part that is so hugely important to my future quality of life...it's like leaving a billion pounds of baggage at the gate, and realizing on the flight you don't need it anymore anyway..

[Kathryn Martin]

What you said loud and clear


Exactly

the most amazing thing i learned post grs is that its impact was much less than i anticipated in so many ways..(all the ways i could think of before surgery),

and its impact was so transcendent in the ways i didn't think of..

its not that i finally found out "what its like", its that i didn't care anymore...and its the not caring anymore part that is so hugely important to my future quality of life...it's like leaving a billion pounds of baggage at the gate, and realizing on the flight you don't need it anymore anyway..

[RADER]

Over a year ago, my wife had to spend some time in a Hospital. Since their
was no other option, she had to get a Cather put in her for she could not get out
of bed to go to the bathroom.
After a few weeks, the doctors where thinking about removing it because she was starting to get stronger
and was now able to get to the bathroom.
I told the Doctor, just cut the tube off about 4" out, and she could now "P" like a man.
The Doctor and the Nurse laughed, and my wife wanted to clobbers me, She would have if she had
something in reach.
Rader

[AudreyTN]

I haven't lost the dang thing yet, but I know for darn sure that I will never miss it once it's gone.

I have to concur with Sharon on this subject. I can't wait to get rid of the damn thing. It's annoying, inconvenient, uncomfortable, and it's an eyesore when I get out of the shower, as are the two friends attached that like to hang out below it. my day of liberation awaits!

[LeaP]

I think Clara Bow, the original "It Girl", must be rolling in her grave.

[sandra-leigh]

I am transgender, and do not currently identify as being transsexual (but I leave open the possibility that I might identify as TS someday.) I have been on HRT for 16 months; I have no plans at this time to get SRS.

"it" is currently utilitarian for me. It is useful for a fast pee, and the rest of the time I don't notice it much. If it was gone, I would adapt without any big problem, I believe.

I do not, however, feel "the sooner it is gone, the better" for me. This is a matter of how I feel about my body part, and I emphasize with those who feel otherwise about themselves.

A couple of days ago, I developed an erection during one of my few erotic dreams. I was not displeased in my dream, nor when I awoke a few seconds later. It was a memory of a pleasant physical sensation for me. Physical pleasure is something I get darn little of: there hasn't been any frisk in my life for at least 7 years; I have sore surface muscles all over my body these days; erections are now few and not available deliberately.

I never disliked "it" or the pleasure associated with it. I willingly gave up the pleasure for the sake of my sanity -- but I do not repudiate the memory.

[Bree-asaurus]

I am transgender, and do not currently identify as being transsexual (but I leave open the possibility that I might identify as TS someday.) I have been on HRT for 16 months; I have no plans at this time to get SRS.

"it" is currently utilitarian for me. It is useful for a fast pee, and the rest of the time I don't notice it much. If it was gone, I would adapt without any big problem, I believe.

I do not, however, feel "the sooner it is gone, the better" for me. This is a matter of how I feel about my body part, and I emphasize with those who feel otherwise about themselves.

A couple of days ago, I developed an erection during one of my few erotic dreams. I was not displeased in my dream, nor when I awoke a few seconds later. It was a memory of a pleasant physical sensation for me. Physical pleasure is something I get darn little of: there hasn't been any frisk in my life for at least 7 years; I have sore surface muscles all over my body these days; erections are now few and not available deliberately.

I never disliked "it" or the pleasure associated with it. I willingly gave up the pleasure for the sake of my sanity -- but I do not repudiate the memory.

I had one of those dreams a couple weeks ago... woke up with an... *cough* ... yeah... and it just made me frustrated. Can't it just stay dormant? *sigh* hate hate hate

[christinac]

Hey........... Go ahead and answer. So far it looks like the majority of responders still have theirs too, but they didn't have any qualms.:heehee:

Kel

I try to keep my two cents out of questions like these as much as possible because they are questions that I'm asking myself ( I'm more or less stalled on that proverbial pro's and con's list). I also would like to put a big thanks out for the input of people like Bree and a few others who are in the process of or have gone through transition.

[Traci Elizabeth]

The last time I had an erection was when Orville Wright flew the first airplane in Kitty Hawk, NC.

[Aprilrain]

HRT has not affected my ability to get an erection. Morning wood is a thing of the past though, can't say I miss it

[Maddie22]

This is a bit of a two part question -

For those that are on HRT and living full time but do not plan on getting bottom surgery what are your reasons for keeping "it" (as the OP puts uses the term)?

For those that have had complete GRS or are planning to, do you or did you hate "it"? Or was it more of a feeling of it doesn't match or some other feeling?

While I'm still trying to figure things out, I don't hate "it" but I don't necessarily want it. I'd feel much more comfortable with out it, than with it. "It" has always been there on me, so to me it doesn't look like it doesn't fit, but I do look at myself and feel ugly with it, similar to how I feel about by tummy, broad shoulders and other body issues. I group "it" in the aspects of my body I feel are ugly.

Does anyone else understand this position?

[Monica]

It is not that I hate "it" s much as I used to and eventually I really would like to get rid of "it". I just got sidetracked and "it" took a lower priority. "It" is definitely ugly but got quite a bit smaller with HRT. The good new is that it's 2 friends standing behind will be gone by the end of the year.

[cyndigurl45]

Yes I miss "It"

http://images.mylot.com/userImages/images/postphotos/2411262.jpg

It

and I miss all the characters of the Adam's family.

As for my penis, that's a laugh :) I was born with a micro penis (TMI 5cm long and 1.5cm diameter when hard), had it not been for the distended testes I probably would have been raised a girl, now that the testes are gone it's easier living as woman, standing to pee, ya right 5cm hard means less then 2cm flaccid so siting to pee has always been my thing :)

[sandra-leigh]

For those that are on HRT and living full time but do not plan on getting bottom surgery what are your reasons for keeping "it" (as the OP puts uses the term)?

When I examine my life and biology, my history is similar to having been born intersex, Klinefelters (47,XXY) -- in that I have some of the biological markers associated with transsexualism (correlation is not proof!), and my body is not especially masculine. My medical history suggests that I have had a biological internal brain conflict for a long time, such as would be the case if some of my brain centers were male and others were female. And when I was younger, my body dealt with the situation, balanced it as best it could, but imperfectly. As if the male gender "leaked out", and the female assumed more and more control.

Now, with this situation, I knew myself as "male" for a long long time. And if gender is defined as one's personal sense of identity, then under that definition I was male gender, even if not standard male biology. I did not grow up knowing that I was "really" a girl: I "knew" I was a guy (though not without wondering why other guys could be so strange...)

These days I know I am not "male". But I don't know that I am "female". Backdating my experiences as "always having had been female" feels too much like retcon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retroactive_continuity) to me. I have no personal problem with the idea that I used to be male but now I am not, and that perhaps in future my sense of identity will be different yet. I change.

Having grown up and lived for decades as male (or at the very least thinking of myself as such), "it" doesn't bother me. "It" did alright for me. And getting rid of "it", and acquiring a vagina (two different matters, really) do not happen to be parts of my body image problems at this time. The quick-growing facial hair, the breasts that "should" be larger, the gut that is big and ugly, the poor quality toe-nails: those I am conscious of.

One psychological factor tied into this is that I have told myself ("accepted" might be too strong a term here) that I am unlikely to ever have sex again, with anyone. Sad, but it is a tradeoff I have made to be able to survive in relative internal peace. My current plumbing arrangement is adequate for plumbing, and my genitals have become "doesn't matter" for sexual purposes. No impetus to change.

And something else that is certainly a consideration: aversion to pain, and avoidance of operations that are not (currently?) necessary for me.

[Bree-asaurus]

For those that have had complete GRS or are planning to, do you or did you hate "it"? Or was it more of a feeling of it doesn't match or some other feeling?

I hate it. I hate it! I HATE IT!

But I grew to hate it... I haven't always.

Since being young enough to see it was part of me up until puberty, I didn't care about it.

When puberty hit, I was disgusted by it. Didn't even touch it until I was 21 when my first girlfriend decided I was going to be her boyfriend. I figured, If she's gonna be playing with it, I better figure this thing out for myself.

A couple years later, when I chose a second girlfriend because I thought I should have a girlfriend (not because I had any connection with her) we only had sex 3 times in 6 months. I couldn't get it up with her and I didn't care.

Returned to my first girlfriend after I broke up with the second, and still couldn't get it up.

Realized I liked men a couple years ago... they REALLY turned me on, but I still didn't want to have anything to do with my penis.

Once I admitted I was transexual, and after that, meeting my FTM boyfriend, I went through periods of hating it, and periods of trying to deal with it and use what I have. It usually ended up in tears when I tried to use that part. So since then my hatred grew and grew. It is no longer ambivalence, disgust, disconnection or anything else... it is now a BURNING HATRED.

I don't think anyone is born hating anything... it is something that is learned over time. And yeah, I never felt like it was REALLY a part of me... it could have been an overgrown, hairy mole for all I care.

Simple enough of an answer? :D :D :D

EDIT: Oh yes... and I just got an orchie cuz I can't afford GRS for several more years... and YES I WILL BE GETTING GRS! YES! YES! YES!!!!

[whowhatwhen]

I can't answer this completely, but if I discovered that it HAD to go it certainly wouldn't be missed, as it is I wouldn't mind if it stopped working entirely.

Why?
1) I have/had no desire for it's intended function
2) I feel nothing from it
3) Reminds me of what I can never have (being intimate with a guy, or a girl should that be the case)

I will put forth that I absolutely despise my balls though, literally since my teen years they have been a source of physical pain.
Not to mention that sitting on them, while rare, SUCKS SO MUCH.

No burning hatred though, it's like an annoying house guest who invited himself and won't leave.

[Bree-asaurus]

3) Reminds me of what I can never have (being intimate with a guy, or a girl should that be the case)

Never say never. You're quitting before you even try!

And just because you may not to be intimate in the 'traditional' sense... there are plenty of other fun ways to be intimate with someone.

[whowhatwhen]

True, it's a bit disappointing and disheartening though.

[Bree-asaurus]

True, it's a bit disappointing and disheartening though.

You have to learn to enjoy what you can in life. Life is short and life is full of shit. So make of it what you can.

If I can be happy, you can too.

[Persephone]

Rather than miss "it" you might find some entirely new ways to enjoy "it" from a different point of view.

Don't worry, "it" will come looking for you!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[ColleenA]

The last time I had an erection was when Orville Wright flew the first airplane in Kitty Hawk, NC.

Interesting reason to get an erection. :eek:


Over a year ago, my wife had to spend some time in a Hospital. Since their was no other option, she had to get a Cather put in her for she could not get out of bed to go to the bathroom. ... I told the Doctor, just cut the tube off about 4" out, and she could now "P" like a man.
Rader

A lady I used to work with once had to have a catheter. She told me it was a fascinating experience to be able to stand while urinating. :D

My BFF told me that prior to having GRS there were only two times in her life that she didn't sit down on the toilet - it just felt proper that she do it that way. And those two times she was very angry with herself for standing, even though there was really no place to sit down.

[cyndigurl45]

Rather than miss "it" you might find some entirely new ways to enjoy "it" from a different point of view.

Don't worry, "it" will come looking for you!

Hugs,
Persephone.

LOL actually some hunks "IT" facing you ;)

[Aprilrain]

Interesting, of the post ops (posties:heehee:) who responded not one misses it and at least half are at best mystified and at worst offended by the question.
Sometime the beginning of next year I'll let ya know if I miss the dangler or not.

[Traci Elizabeth]

[QUOTE=ColleenA;2859701]Interesting reason to get an erection. :eek: /QUOTE]

Yep! Orville used it as a rudder control. That's way the flight only lasted 22 seconds! :D