Frédérique
05-20-2012, 10:36 AM
“Oh, you’re no FUN anymore!” (from Monty Python)
MtF crossdressing is FUN, and if it wasn’t fun I probably wouldn’t do it at all... :hmph:
Here in my little Kansas town the locals constructed a miniature skate “park” for skateboarders, conveniently located away from downtown where the alleged urchins might bring about a breach of the peace. The park sits, alone, unwanted, and abandoned, a monument to the idea of dangerous fun, and a tacit reminder that all pleasurable activities are organized and controlled for the good of the conformist community. When I see the forlorn concrete park, I feel sad...
:sad:
If I was a skateboarder, I would use the entire town as my blank canvas, seeking out each and every place where I could do my “thing,” according to MY idea of what fun is. This would no doubt draw the attention of the locals, since they cannot appreciate my need for taking risks. The easy solution was to banish all skate freaks to the edge of town, giving them a place to “play.” In other words, you have to play by OUR rules, or not play at all. I think many local kids have had their blessed individuality crushed in this manner, and true fun is not in the offing...
Being a MtF crossdresser, I know all about having fun by taking risks. Just like the skateboarder, I cannot use public byways to express myself – the adolescent Tony Hawk is a threat to the peace (he or she might frighten a senior citizen, you know), while I am a threat to the minds of all who might gaze upon my transformed self. I admit that I like to confuse people, and this comes under the heading “dangerous fun” by my definition. Since it’s nearly impossible to explain crossdressing, not only to an ignorant public but to ourselves as well, it is a risky venture to exist in a place where I am not wanted. Unlike the skateboarder, however, there aren’t many of ME...
Being a crossdresser in such a place, going about largely unseen and unnoticed, is great fun, so I cultivate my apart-ness and enjoy this feeling of not belonging. Crossdressing is dangerous here because CD'ing is seen as a problem of sexuality – when everyone sees you as an abnormality (or worse), you take steps to preserve the fun that your chosen deviant activity provides. I use the word “deviant” quite a bit, and I admit it sounds harsh, but, to me, deviancy is simply a fact of life for anyone who goes against conformity – the more conformity I see around me, the more deviant I am, and, subsequently, the more fun (and dangerous) crossdressing becomes...
So, in short, I don’t want the locals to be aware of me. I don’t want to end up like the skateboard aficionados who were put in their place, with all the fun drained out of a previously fun activity. I feel I am highly perishable out in the world, but I still get out there from time to time, if only to “skate” right under the noses of those who cannot appreciate the need to have FUN. Doing what I do, in this stifling atmosphere of correctness, is a dangerous enterprise. I can sit here, BE who I am, and THEY can’t see me, in fact few can even imagine that I exist – I get an enormous amount of enjoyment out of that! You know, I think this is the ONLY truly dangerous thing that I do...
Do you see MtF crossdressing as dangerous fun, either NOW or back when you started? :thinking:
Many thanks to my friend kimdl93, for encouraging me to write a little something... :battingeyelashes:
MtF crossdressing is FUN, and if it wasn’t fun I probably wouldn’t do it at all... :hmph:
Here in my little Kansas town the locals constructed a miniature skate “park” for skateboarders, conveniently located away from downtown where the alleged urchins might bring about a breach of the peace. The park sits, alone, unwanted, and abandoned, a monument to the idea of dangerous fun, and a tacit reminder that all pleasurable activities are organized and controlled for the good of the conformist community. When I see the forlorn concrete park, I feel sad...
:sad:
If I was a skateboarder, I would use the entire town as my blank canvas, seeking out each and every place where I could do my “thing,” according to MY idea of what fun is. This would no doubt draw the attention of the locals, since they cannot appreciate my need for taking risks. The easy solution was to banish all skate freaks to the edge of town, giving them a place to “play.” In other words, you have to play by OUR rules, or not play at all. I think many local kids have had their blessed individuality crushed in this manner, and true fun is not in the offing...
Being a MtF crossdresser, I know all about having fun by taking risks. Just like the skateboarder, I cannot use public byways to express myself – the adolescent Tony Hawk is a threat to the peace (he or she might frighten a senior citizen, you know), while I am a threat to the minds of all who might gaze upon my transformed self. I admit that I like to confuse people, and this comes under the heading “dangerous fun” by my definition. Since it’s nearly impossible to explain crossdressing, not only to an ignorant public but to ourselves as well, it is a risky venture to exist in a place where I am not wanted. Unlike the skateboarder, however, there aren’t many of ME...
Being a crossdresser in such a place, going about largely unseen and unnoticed, is great fun, so I cultivate my apart-ness and enjoy this feeling of not belonging. Crossdressing is dangerous here because CD'ing is seen as a problem of sexuality – when everyone sees you as an abnormality (or worse), you take steps to preserve the fun that your chosen deviant activity provides. I use the word “deviant” quite a bit, and I admit it sounds harsh, but, to me, deviancy is simply a fact of life for anyone who goes against conformity – the more conformity I see around me, the more deviant I am, and, subsequently, the more fun (and dangerous) crossdressing becomes...
So, in short, I don’t want the locals to be aware of me. I don’t want to end up like the skateboard aficionados who were put in their place, with all the fun drained out of a previously fun activity. I feel I am highly perishable out in the world, but I still get out there from time to time, if only to “skate” right under the noses of those who cannot appreciate the need to have FUN. Doing what I do, in this stifling atmosphere of correctness, is a dangerous enterprise. I can sit here, BE who I am, and THEY can’t see me, in fact few can even imagine that I exist – I get an enormous amount of enjoyment out of that! You know, I think this is the ONLY truly dangerous thing that I do...
Do you see MtF crossdressing as dangerous fun, either NOW or back when you started? :thinking:
Many thanks to my friend kimdl93, for encouraging me to write a little something... :battingeyelashes: