I am at a point now where I don't care if people know anymore

[michelleinktown]

I have to wonder if it is because of the hormones that I just don't care anymore if people know who I am.

For many years I would try and hide it and now that I have come out to quite a few people including some people at work and some family I still seem to care what certain people think about me so lately in the last couple of weeks I have been thinking or going full-time and really don't care anymore who knows.

I have to wonder if the hormones have anything to do with how I feel? I have been on hormones now three months and although not a lot of changes there have been a lot of changes! Or is it just that I am tired and don't care if people know? With the little changes that have happened to me so far I am thinking that in another 3 months I will have no choice but to inform people of who I am because there will be a huge difference in my appearance.

Could some of you girls educate me a bit and I do realize that it is different for everybody, but on average the 3 to 6 month being on HRT is that when a lot of changes happen in physical appearance?

[sandra-leigh]

Speaking just for myself:

My gender therapist says that she has noticed my appearance feminizing notably over the last 16 months that I have been on hormones. I do not see it myself, other than perhaps a small bit of additional roundness in my face.

I did have modest breast growth that was visible by the 3 month mark, partly because I made absolutely no attempt to disguise it or reduce it. I went through a phase of pointy nipples on top of teenage conical breasts, and the change of shape in the way my shirts tented out was obvious. Oddly, the most visible sign that I was developing Breasts was in the way that my tops subtly draped as I walked: when I looked in mirrors as I walked, the way the shadows would fall would make it clear that I had real mounds there, not "moobs", in a way that was much more visible than if I was just sitting still.

Despite the breast development being visible, not one person at work has asked me about it or commented about it in any way in 16 months. There hasn't been any need to come out to them: people have either already figured things out, or they are oblivious, or they don't care enough to think about it. My boss seems to be in denial, and really there is nothing to be gained from telling him (my layoff will become final in 6 weeks and I may need a Reference from him.)

My breast development isn't much after 16 months (not even an "A" cup at my band size); it is enough though that I have just enough of a "bust" to be recognized a being a bust. But the public doesn't seem to pay attention to it. It is just part of me.

Matters would perhaps be different if I were on a swim team or was regularly changing in a locker room in front of team members of some sort, but those things are not factors in my life.

On the other hand, in a couple of months I will be visiting my mother, whom I have not seen since I started HRT: there is no way that she is not going to notice and ask questions!

In summary: you will not necessarily need to say anything to anyone you don't want to. Except maybe Mom.

[michelleinktown]

Speaking just for myself:


I did have modest breast growth that was visible by the 3 month mark, partly because I made absolutely no attempt to disguise it or reduce it. I went through a phase of pointy nipples on top of teenage conical breasts, and the change of shape in the way my shirts tented out was obvious. Oddly, the most visible sign that I was developing Breasts was in the way that my tops subtly draped as I walked: when I looked in mirrors as I walked, the way the shadows would fall would make it clear that I had real mounds there, not "moobs", in a way that was much more visible than if I was just sitting still.


Despite the breast development being visible, not one person at work has asked me about it or commented about it in any way in 16 months. There hasn't been any need to come out to them: people have either already figured things out, or they are oblivious, or they don't care enough to think about it. My boss seems to be in denial, and really there is nothing to be gained from telling him (my layoff will become final in 6 weeks and I may need a Reference from him.)

On the other hand, in a couple of months I will be visiting my mother, whom I have not seen since I started HRT: there is no way that she is not going to notice and ask questions!

In summary: you will not necessarily need to say anything to anyone you don't want to. Except maybe Mom.

I started growing in the breast area rather faster that I expected and started having itch nipples three days after being on hormones. Three months later quiet noticable. My GG friend says that she would like to see my Dr and see if she could get some of what I'm on!

I have had some comments at work and they are trying to figure out what is up, have you lost weight? something is different but I can't figure it out? You look different!

Good luck with Mom, mine knows and she would rather not talk about it for now.

[Kristy_K]

I have to wonder if it is because of the hormones that I just don't care anymore if people know who I am.

For many years I would try and hide it and now that I have come out to quiet a few people including some people at work and some family I still seem to care what certain people think about me so lately in the last couple of weeks I have been thinking or going full-time and really don't care anymore who knows.

I don't think it is as much as the HRT as it is just accepting yourself for the person you are.

Self acceptance can change a lot of things in your life and usually it is all for the better. At least it was for me.

[Kathryn Martin]

Michelle:

It is always this race between coming out appropriately and the feminization being brought about by hormones. I was showing serious boobs by the time I came out and had a hell of a time wearing sports bras and loose white shirts to conceal them.

My hair by that time was long and styled and looked great and the effect of hormones and skin care on my skin was so noticeable that women wanted to know what I was using.

Before going full time, consider what I said in the other thread and if you have questions pm me, I'd be glad to help.

Kathryn

[Jorja]

Michelle,
It has been my experience that physical changes are luck of the draw. Some can be on HRT for a couple of years and very minor changes occur. Others, like yourself can be on HRT for a few short weeks and whamo. There is a point where there is no use hiding any longer. We all reach that point at different times. Part of it is the HRT. Part of it is your attuide and how well you have accepted yourself for who and what you are. There is no magic timeline. When it happens, it happens. Think long and hard before coming out. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row. Once it is out, it is out. You can't put it back in your mouth like you never said anything.

[michelleinktown]

Michelle,
It has been my experience that physical changes are luck of the draw. Some can be on HRT for a couple of years and very minor changes occur. Others, like yourself can be on HRT for a few short weeks and whamo. There is a point where there is no use hiding any longer. We all reach that point at different times. Part of it is the HRT. Part of it is your attuide and how well you have accepted yourself for who and what you are. There is no magic timeline. When it happens, it happens. Think long and hard before coming out. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row. Once it is out, it is out. You can't put it back in your mouth like you never said anything.

I have never been so happy with the choice that I have made. for the first time in my life I enjoy looking in the mirror and see what is staring back at me. I have no intention of ever going back into a closet so and at this point in my life the more it is out the less people will have the opportunity to gossip false things about me. I am coming out but still want to make sure that I remain safe at work. I am out as a woman when not working and don't care if anybody sees me so there is my dilema, do I just come out all they way in the next three months or wait for me to look more like a woman. I am really looking forward to the day that I pass most of the time and don't need to worry about all of this anymore. FFS here I come soon.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Michelle,

I fully understand how it feels to be fed up with hiding in the shadows.
Just be careful not to disclose too soon your intentions.

At the 3 to 6 month time frame for HRT one can expect much softer and more translucent skin witch is more easily bruised.
Slight to moderate breast growth dependent on many factors.
fat redistribution to an extent with some softening of the facial features.
I'm proud of you Michelle keep marching forward. :)


Julia

[Bree-asaurus]

Michelle,

I fully understand how it feels to be fed up with hiding in the shadows.
Just be careful not to disclose too soon your intentions.

At the 3 to 6 month time frame for HRT one can expect much softer and more translucent skin witch is more easily bruised.
Slight to moderate breast growth dependent on many factors.
fat redistribution to an extent with some softening of the facial features.
I'm proud of you Michelle keep marching forward. :)


Julia

Very easily bruised... god...

I wonder how all those girls who wear the short shorts and have the long, evenly colored legs do it. I seem to have random bruises all the time now! Never a problem before!

[sandra-leigh]

I seem to have random bruises all the time now! Never a problem before!

Interesting. I am not one to bruise easily (never have been), and my bruises disappear much faster than my wife's do, typically gone within 3 days.

The one notable bruise I have had through all of this was a time they had to poke around on both arms to do a blood test: that one lasted about 10 days. (The difference from my usual was enough that I talked to my doctor about it just in case.)

The last few months, my muscles have been tender enough that they feel as if I should be bruised all over, but nothing actually visible.

Note by the way that I am 50 years old, so hormones probably aren't having much visible effect on me.

[AudreyTN]

I have to wonder if it is because of the hormones that I just don't care anymore if people know who I am.

For many years I would try and hide it and now that I have come out to quite a few people including some people at work and some family I still seem to care what certain people think about me so lately in the last couple of weeks I have been thinking or going full-time and really don't care anymore who knows.

I have to wonder if the hormones have anything to do with how I feel? I have been on hormones now three months and although not a lot of changes there have been a lot of changes! Or is it just that I am tired and don't care if people know? With the little changes that have happened to me so far I am thinking that in another 3 months I will have no choice but to inform people of who I am because there will be a huge difference in my appearance.

Could some of you girls educate me a bit and I do realize that it is different for everybody, but on average the 3 to 6 month being on HRT is that when a lot of changes happen in physical appearance?

for me I just got tired of hiding in a cave. so what if everyone knows. they're gonna know sooner or later, might as well go ahead and get it over with. my first week in transition was AMAZING! I have no regrets and week #2 is off to a great start. It's been a long time since I have been this happy.