Accepting places vs not

[JessHaust]

Good morning ladies, how is everyone? I've been reading threads again that set me thinking, so it's time for one more of my rants!

I see all the time here in posts that 'X' city, or state or region is just not accepting of transgenders or cross-dressing, and those living there would do well to keep as tight a lid on it as possible or terrible things will happen!
Then 2 or 3 threads down I will read a post from some one from that very city, state to region describing some situation where they had a fabulous experience with the general public there. Invariably someone will tack a post on to that saying that they were lucky to live there because they are from 'Y' city, state or region and it's just not that way there!
This cycle will continue with a thread or post sometime later from 'Y' city, state or region and a positive report, and we move on to 'Z'.....

So my question is to those posting about how their particular city, state or region is definitely unaccepting , and the questions are these:
Have you ever actually experienced a negative reaction to Cross-dressing yourself?
And I mean you personally, not 'heard it from a reliable source' or 'saw a news report about something terrible happened to a transgender...'

And as a followup, when you read here of someone who is in you city, state or region who has had a fabulous time, how does that correlate with your beliefs that your area is unaccepting ?

[VickysBFF]

Interesting question Jess. Personally, I have only opined on cities/areas where I have lived for a good period of time (i.e. a couple of years or longer). Personally I wouldn't comment on a place that I have only visited for a day or so as that is not really long enough to form an opinion.
Also, I think that people need to step back and take a "helicopter" view of the situation to determine if it is a "localized" problem (such as a particular neighborhood or store) or a more "generalized" problem (such as a larger city/metropolitan area or chain of stores where you have been to several different stores in different areas/cities and had the same experience).
I have also posted that it is difficult to make broad generalizations about places and businesses because sometimes even when at large a particular area or business may have a "friendly" reputation you might encounter the one "bad" store or employee that gives you an unpleasant experience.

[suzy1]

I can’t resist it Jess, I have to put in my two penny’s worth. And you know what that means. :heehee:

First I have never gone out as you know.:eek:
Second question, how do I react at reading that someone in my part of the world has had no problems or bad reactions [noticed or not noticed, i.e. behind there backs] I struggle with my grip on reality. But I soon get it back again.:)

Suzy in her dark miserable closet.

[Kaitlyn26]

I'm not getting into details, but yes I have. The south-eastern united states is not accpeting in the slightest. If you go anywhere beyond trans friendly clubs, expect it.

[JessHaust]

Suzy, girl my respect for you grows every day! You are one of the most honest girls on this site and I appreciate your responce. Maybe I'll never see you out of that closet, but I hope I can help make it less miserable.

Kaitlyn,
I know that Texas is not consitered south-east U.S., but I believe Tennessee is so have a look a Amanda's post about making two new friends. I am sorry to hear you gad a bad expierence.

Vickey,
You certianly bring a very valid point in that there are always going to be good spots and bad spots. But honestly I avoid the bad spots en drab, so they are less a transgender issue, and more a general society problem.

[RADER]

Suzy in her dark miserable closet.

I am in a closet also, however about 8 years ago, I added a large room addition to my
little bigger closet.
Jess; In answer to your question, It all depends on what your are, Rather then where you are.
Lets say I am near Chicago IL. Now it the city, you could be a bearded man in a dress, and barley
get a strange stair. Go out to the Burbs like me, way up north, and unless you are almost letter
perfect, you will get stares, and maybe some comments.
Like some one said, the south eastern States, and along with the south central (Bible Belt),
You might even get looks if you are dress gender appropriate.
There is no one place that is totally OK with dressing, just some more tolerant than others.
Rader

[Amanda22]

This thread is so appropriate. Love it. I just don't want to say some areas are more or less tolerant than others, because there are many excepts either way wherever you look. I do think it's easy for people to claim, "My area is intolerant." I used to say I wanted to move to another area (I'm in Tennessee) so I could be around a more tolerant population. You know the punch line. I've found nothing but an abundance of tolerance right here in the bible-belt south. I guess I'm leading a charmed life.

[STACY B]

You know Im coming in with my 2 cent ,,, Its all in where ya go ! If you go to the Burn Barrel around ya ol good time buddys ,,,SURE ya gonna get it ,, You go somewhere that has alot of Redneck Simple minded goof ballz Yea your gonna get it ,,, Sports bars,, Sporting goods places ,,Any real manly place your probily gonna get alot of stares an comments ,,But if you stay with in the confines of the female world ,,As I do mostly ,,Yull be fine ,,Small clothes stores with mostly woman ,, Small convenent stores ,,Coffee shops ,, Even the Mall is not that bad cuz you can go to more stores an duck an dodge all the places you dont want to be ,,,But for the most part you make it what you want use your head an just be safe an if someone does say something as hard as it is just blow it off an move on ,,Were ladys rememeber . There are alot of places to go safely ,,Nail Salons, Hair Salons,, Beauty an makeup stores ,, Small clothes an shoe stores ,, Jewely stores ,,Wig stores ,, Fabric stores, Fleamarkets ,,Yard sales ,, Thrift stores ,, Antique stores ,, Chinna shops ,, Book stores ,,No danger haveing a redneck azzhole in a book store ,,,LOL,,,LOL,,,

[sissystephanie]

I have been crossdressing for over 60 years. That time period covered living in California, the Pacific Northwest, Texas, and where I currently live in southeastern U.S.A. I have been out in public crossdressed in all those areas, and NEVER ONCE have I had a negative remark made to me. And the even more interesting thing is that for the past 7 years I have been out in public almost every day dressed totally enfemme, but with no makeup and no wig. People do talk to me, but not in a negative way. There may be non-accepting places here in Georgia, but I have neen all over the state and have not yet found one. And BTW, I go everywhere dressed enfemme. My attitude is that I dress to please myself, not the rest of the world. If you don't like what I am wearing, then say so. I won't pay any attention but you will have had your say!

I will probably get flamed for saying this, but most of the problems that CDs think they have are brought on by their own actions, or the way they are dressed. Any man who a 40 or 42 inch chest and wears falsies that give him a DD bosom is just asking for trouble.That is way too big, yet a lot of CDs do it! And then they wonder why they are not accepted? I have natural 40 B's and have worn a bra since I was 9 years old!! But my breasts fit my body size!

[suzy1]

Suzy, girl my respect for you grows every day! You are one of the most honest girls on this site and I appreciate your responce. Maybe I'll never see you out of that closet, but I hope I can help make it less miserable.

Kaitlyn,
I know that Texas is not consitered south-east U.S., but I believe Tennessee is so have a look a Amanda's post about making two new friends. I am sorry to hear you gad a bad expierence.

Vickey,
You certianly bring a very valid point in that there are always going to be good spots and bad spots. But honestly I avoid the bad spots en drab, so they are less a transgender issue, and more a general society problem.


It’s not miserable, I was joking!:eek: You take me [and life?] too seriously.:sad:

I love my life.:yippee:

[Amanda22]

I will probably get flamed for saying this, but most of the problems that CDs think they have are brought on by their own actions, or the way they are dressed. Any man who a 40 or 42 inch chest and wears falsies that give him a DD bosom is just asking for trouble.That is way too big, yet a lot of CDs do it! And then they wonder why they are not accepted?

Stephanie, bravo! I totally agree.

[StaceyJane]

Jess, I live near you in Central Texas and I've been out in Dallas, Fort Worth, Austin,Waco, San Antonio, etc... and I've never had a problem. I've been to the heart of redneck country in Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, I've been to college basketball games on the Baylor campus which is the most homophobic place around, I've been to a minor league baseball game in Austin which was full of families with children, I've been in the Texas State Capitol building and even a Dallas Cowboy training camp practice.
So as far as I'm concerned Texas is a very CD friendly place.

[Jackiefl]

i agree totally with sissystephanie!

[sterling12]

At least here in The States, you can find Area's/Neighborhoods/ business districts/entertainment zones of most any mid sized to major metropolis that are LGBT Friendly/tolerant. And, you can probably find friendly establishments in most of the smaller area's too. But, you can also find plenty of opportunities to get in trouble in even the most liberal of cities and town's. You can go to N.Y.C. and find Redneck's and Religious Haters. Don't imagine you could go anywhere in "Accepting Massachusetts," and your person would always be safe. And Obviously, if you travel into town and you can see smoke from all The Whiskey Stills, up on The Mountainside on the way in, your chances of being non-hassled diminish.

And so, most of us Gurls who go out on a regular basis practice "situational defense methods." We prefer numbers, (at least two of us together....find a friend) we NEVER go into someplace unknown without a group of us, and we know when to leave if "The Vibes" ain't right. You have to develop a bit of Radar to pick up on direct animosity, but it's a very useful skill to cultivate. About 99% of the time, no hassles at all. No matter where you are, but you have to always be aware, and vigilant. Have a social drink or two, and then stop! If your being loud and belligerent, AND your not "aware" because your too drunk, it invites trouble. Same thing for back alleys, and dark parking lots. A lot of this is common sense!

The World isn't that evil or threatening. You just have to use some logic to stay out of bad situations. Could you get whacked on The Head for no reason, and it seems to come out of nowhere? Sure! But, it's not likely. You could miss a whole lifetime of good experiences, if you let minuscule probabilities rule your life.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[sierra_g]

The amount of acceptance is dependent on
where you go
how you are dressed
if you are looking to battle the non-accepters
if you talk to random people a lot
how you carry yourself (are you walking, talking and acting like a lady, or like a guy in a dress?)
if you are paying them to be nice.

Are you going to go to a high school football game, a low income and high crime area, Disneyland, or are you headed out to coffee, lunch, shopping, or a club? I recommend not going to your local biker bar, or someplace like that.

I realize that anywhere you go, there can be idiots, but they are rare, and most times even they will decide it just isn't worth it.
The most I have been out in so far is some very light facial makeup, and we went to Chick Fil-a, Runway Fashion Exchange, and Walmart. Chick Fil-a had a family that was eaves dropping, and gossiping about my SO and my conversation. At Walmart, a few high school girls were huddled talking about me very obviously, but that was it. I expected much worse. I can't wait till I can go out.
BTW, the area that I am in is not progressive at all. There are more Mormon churches than gas stations and they all have multiple sermons and all are jam packed. If you aren't Mormon, you can expect a visit from their goons about once every month or two. I wish I could time it right so that I happened to be dressed when they came to the door.

[Lorileah]

I have never had any negative attitude toward me but I will qualify that I don't hang in places where machismo is high (i.e. areas of town where drinking, drugging and fighting are requirements not just recreation...but then again I don't go there when I am in male mode either). I have had strange looks and double takes. But I don't get harassed and often get compliments. In the Denver Metro area there are just a handful of places I would never go and many that I would never worry about when I went. Nor have I heard anyone say anything like that. I don't think it would be a good idea to dress as I do and go to rural Colorado though. I also know that those areas still have issues with certain ethnic groups and even GG's. Logic prevails on where you go

[NathalieX66]

I wasn't going to try that biker roadhouse off the highway in rural Tennessee, or show up Sunday at a KJV-only Baptist church in North Carolina.

[Cindy J Angel]

I live in dinver nc and go out quite often to morevills and outher places. And have not had enty trouble. been to the VA for a xray dress on one said entythink the ladi at the pay windo gave me a hard look but sad have a good day. Now we have a place in Va Beach and yes i thought it was not a place to go out (navy,air force ,usmc, u get were i am going. But that was not the cass it was all me. what i thank it was for me was a LOT MORE PEOPLE. Now i do try to do my best and not to bad at it but i do not pass close up give me 20 ft and u have to look hard. What i have leard from aver body that gos out on hear is be confundent. I dont l;ook down I look people in there face with pride. for the post part thay will look a way. I went to ihop on sat 19 and by my self because i was hunger and have not done that yet cheek that off. And had to go to the drs after the lady called mr howard and i got up and went . doc came in and sadi mam knowing that i was not. As i was liveing aver body said by. so how far southeast do i need to go for the bad Key west not been there too veary good post.

[PretzelGirl]

I feel it is as much about our attitude about other people as it is their attitude about us. I have started similar threads like this.

I do find it interesting that so many can tell me that where I live is an unaccepting area. And yet I get out quite often and go to any place I want (I am not a bar/lounge person). Why does everyone think it is unaccepting? (Take note Sierra) It is because everyone has a preconceived notion about the predominant religion in my area. So while we sit here and believe people aren't giving us a chance, sometimes we aren't giving them one either. Some of the people I have come out to are staunch conservatives, rednecks, and strict religious people. I haven't yet found where that, by itself, makes them unaccepting.

The nutshell is that we all see our areas based on our own perceptions. All it takes is one comment from another or one situation and it isn't hard for our minds to start applying it to everyone. And being safe when you are unsure is a real good path until the confidence comes.

[Diane Smith]

There are tolerant and intolerant individuals everywhere. The vast majority are in the first category. The ratio may vary slightly from one part of the country to another, but probably not by as much as we sometimes think based on our own individual good or bad experiences. There are places in any town that I would obviously avoid when dressed, and whole swaths of territory are rightly off limits after dark. But in general, you can find acceptance anywhere. Present yourself honestly and with dignity, and dress appropriately to the setting and situation, and the likelihood of problems is slight, wherever you happen to be.

- Diane

[JessHaust]

Great responses everybody. Looks like it running 18 to one. Out of all the posts so far, only one girl has said that she actually had a personal bad experience.
I think the world is a much more tolerant place than we know.

[Dana921]

I agree Jess!

I have had many positive experiences going out! I also agree with those that think we can bring negative remarks our way by presenting both in clothing or attitude an unsightly, unfriendly or argumentative stance. Even if it is not our intention to do so.

Dana

[BRANDYJ]

I don't get this geographical divide from acceptance to non-acceptance. People are people regardless of where they live. True, there are small areas of any city or state that might have more or less tolerant people then the average. But rural California, rural Indiana, rural New York,Rural Florida, or any other rural area in any state might meet with less tolerance then urban areas of those same states. Then as already pointed out, in any given city, there are places to stay away from in drab or dressed.
I feel the same way when I read about how the SA in say Dress Barn, Lane Bryant, or any chain store are so accepting. I say bull! Some of you just happen to find a SA that happen to work ion any one of those stores that just happen to be accepting and helpful. I guarantee that is not the norm for ALL of the stores in any given chain. That is unless they have been trained and ordered to handle Transgendered people juust as they would anyone else. I have not heard of ANY chain where that is a policy. It comes down to the ONE SA you delt with that happens to work for that one particular store. You can't say one chain is better then the other. You can only say that you happen to have been waited on by an understanding SA.
it all comes down to people, not geographical area or a certain chain of stores.

[JessHaust]

.... I have not heard of ANY chain where that is a policy.

From Wikipedia on Mac Cosmetics
"In 2002, MAC began to offer Good Spirits "make-overs" [7] to communities. Make-overs are free and designed to teach men and women, including transgender people"

Also see "Macy’s worker reportedly fired for not allowing transgender shopper into dressing room" -http://blog.chron.com/believeitornot/2011/12/macy’s-worker-reportedly-fired-for-not-allowing-transgender-shopper-into-dressing-room/

But the real point of people commenting on SA's is that ALL stores have a policy to make money, and they can't do that by refusing a sale.

[Jorja]

Most of the problems with TG/TS/CDs going out is in the individuals head. Too many think they are going to attract attention. The truth is, most people are too worried about thier own little world to worry about yours. Yes, undoubtedly there will be one jerk in every crowd. There are several ways to handle him but the best is to just move on. He isn't worth a confrontation. I have been in biker bars to ice cream shops. I rarely have had anyone say anything except positive things to me. We tend to use this as an excuse not to leave the confinds of our closet. And yes Suzy, there are those that do not want to ever leave thier closet. That is OK too.

[Jackie Bee]

The anticipation is always fare worse or far better than the reality of the event.

The biggest barriers that I have seen are the ones we put up in our own mind.

Case in point, preparing to go to a Reinsurance Festival I suggested to my friends (Jess and others) giving our outfits a dry run at Medieval Times (a medieval style dinner theater) the idea didn't catch on. However when we were at the festival one of the girl's told me that they didn't want to do the dinner theater because there were a lot of family's and thought the parents may have an issue ? Shes telling me this in the middle of the Reinsurance Festival witch is full of family's.

The biggest barriers are in our own minds.

There are places I will not go (note: most of these places are ones I wouldn't feel comfortably going to in boy mode either). One place I would go in boy mode and not in girl is a LOW end topless club, I don't go to these clubs but recently some lesbian friends took me to one (boy mode) lot of red-neck's, lot of hillbilly's, possibly some Hitler youth, think I saw 1 other black guy. We had a good time but glad I was not enfemme witch was the original plan.

Is this a barrier in my mind or is it a real unnecessary risk. I think my rule of thumb is "if its something I have to think twice abut as a boy I'm sure not going as a girl".

Footnote to this I do plan to go to a HIGH end topless club soon, with friends or on my own I have no qualms about it, lots of security and upper end clientele, that's if they let me in the door (no unescorted ladies). I think a lap dance enfemme would bee fun. (receiving not giving) ;)

[pacificblue]

In my town the issue is mainly my family. My family is a very large part of my town's community and so it seems like everyone knows someone who knows someone who knows my family. I'm probably just being afraid of things that only exist in my mind and who knows how many people would actually recognize me en femme. Really, I'd be more worried that they'd recognize my wife (she's very distinctive) and ask: "Who's that girl holding hands with you?"

Right now, I can't risk my family knowing because I need the occasional bit of help from my parents while my home is being gutted and remodeled and I'm between jobs. Nothing shameful about getting some help but if my parents knew what I do then they'll likely declare me dead and then I'd be both unemployed and homeless. I've never really had experience with the "general public" because I'm terrible at being social and whenever someone talks to me it's always to ask how my parents are these days. So really, even though most people wouldn't care it's that .001 percent chance that I cant risk taking. For my wife, my future child and myself.

That's why right now, I can only dress in the closet as it were. My few public outings were in other cities and I can't afford to travel at the moment.

[Sally24]

To balance the reporting I will note a few personal experiences. I've talked with police maybe 8 times while dressed. It was a non issue in 7 of those cases. The other 1 was a young state police who was certain I was waiting to meet someone for sex. He ended with "I don't want to see you here again". I've been confronted in the parking lot of one of our meeting places. The man was cruising around apparently looking for one of US. He pulled up almost against my van and screamed "get out of here" while shining a spot light thru my tinted windows. I remained calm and pre dialed 911 on my phone and showed it to him. He left and I went on to have one of the most memorable nights of my early days. I have also run into the occasional single person who confronts our group while our at a club and insults us to our faces.

Now, I've been actively going out for the last 7 years. I would guess I've spent nearly 200 days out in public and these few incidents are the only real negative ones I've had. I think I pass quite often now but that is not always the case and certainly not years ago. These were all individuals and not really group reactions to a CD. I do thimk that for the most part that New England is pretty easy going. We also have more transgendered protections than about any other region of the country.

So be aware that its not all peaches and cream out there. But like anything else, most people are decent and honest. I really have seen a change in reaction to us over the last 5 years, even in liberal Massachusetts. We are not the rarity that we once were. People are still curious, but they aren't surprised or shocked to see us. That is a good thing and I think will increase as we become more and more visible.

To those that do want to get out I say this. Practice your art much before you venture out. The better you present yourself, the better your experience will be. Be confident and smile at those around you. But be safe a DO NOT drive to dark, closed parking lots for your first trip out. Go to a movie or some place else. Don't avoid people, just keep a low profile. And enjoy yourself. You are doing nothing wrong.

If you do run into one of the sub humans that gives you a bad look or says something rude to you. Do this to them. SMILE! That's the best comeback I've ever found.

[katie_barns]

To those that do want to get out I say this. Practice you art much before you venture out. The better you present yourself, the better your experience will be. Be confident and smile at those around you. But be safe a DO NOT drive to dark, closed parking lots for your first trip out. Go to a movie or some place else. Don't avoid people, just keep a low profile. And enjoy yourself. You are doing nothing wrong.

If you do run into one of the sub humans that gives you a bad look or says something rude to you. Do this to them. SMILE! That's they best comeback I've ever found.

Great advice. I will emphasize the low profile. I always dress for my age an appropriately for where I am going. Short skirts and revealing outfits will only get you noticed and clocked.
Also, I can't tell you how many time I have avoided an awkward situation with just a smile.

[vetobob9]

Jess, I live near you in Central Texas and I've been out in Dallas, Fort Worth, Austin,Waco, San Antonio, etc... and I've never had a problem. I've been to the heart of redneck country in Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, I've been to college basketball games on the Baylor campus which is the most homophobic place around, I've been to a minor league baseball game in Austin which was full of families with children, I've been in the Texas State Capitol building and even a Dallas Cowboy training camp practice.
So as far as I'm concerned Texas is a very CD friendly place.

Texans are kind of like libertarians. They don't care what you do as long as your actions don't harm them or their families. Other than that, as long as you play by their rules, they don't care what you wear.

Course, you might get some pockets of people once in a while but it seems the ones who do mind what you wear, are in a small minority.

I have not gotten any ill comments since I moved to Texas last summer. But I do remember quite a few negative comments about not just cross dressers but T persons in general. How is it that the most socially conservative state in America can seem more tolerant toward TG's than the most liberal state in America?

[amberwish]

I am so lucky to live here in Portland, Oregon. We have an openly gay mayor and a town 40 miles south has an openly trans gender mayor. I have been living as Amber for over 4 years now. Have been in many places here in the NW without a single negative thing happening. I play free poker(no-limit-holdem) in all kind of bars, lounges and truck stops without anything negative. A lady I work for who works with the LGBT community here has had clients from all over the world. They leave impressed with the openness here. what a wonderful place to live!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Badtranny]

Well Jess, the problem is that most of the people who do the complaining have never actually gone out and met anyone.

I've noticed that the people that are doing, don't pay much attention to the people that are complaining. There are people that live in my beloved SF Bay who would complain that coming out isn't easy, because it's not. Coming out is never easy because we have to face ourselves before we ever face the public. Some people have no interest in the hard part. They would rather hide behind their closet door and complain.

[Lorileah]

Coming out is never easy because we have to face ourselves before we ever face the public. Some people have no interest in the hard part. They would rather hide behind their closet door and complain.

:yt: and when they believe things will go bad they often do

[Amy R Lynn]

I believe that my area is pretty TG friendly. I haven't gone out yet. I'm going to when I get all of the right pieces put together. In fact its something that I'm looking forward to!

I believe that my area is friendly because I have seen a couple of TG folks and no one is standing around gawking at them. I have a friend that I have known since Kindergarten who went through SRS and doesn't seem to have much of a problem. At least not that she has told anyone. There are several TG friendly clubs and bars around, and a lot of shops that are friendly to us as well. It seems like my area is very accepting. I will find out for myself soon enough. when I do I will certainly let all of you know!

XoXo
Amy Lynn

[Danika140]

I have been very fortunate in my outings. The very first time I went out en femme was in Germany. That was tough two fold. First, it was my first time out so that was nerve wracking to say the least. Second, I was military and obviously can't speak German so everyone knew that I was an American and in the military. Anyone of them could have outed me to another service member quite easily but no one even batted an eye at me en femme.

Second place I had a great experience was in Tampa, FL. My really good friend and I went clubbing decked out in club wear, red orange dress, jewelry, make up and heels. I ended up having to beat back the GGs around me who were stunned by how well the dress looked on me and how brave I was to be out en femme just having a great time. Only time I have been hit on by men and women at the same time lol.

Third and now place of residence, Iron River, MI. I moved here to be closer to my father and to store my stuff while I am deployed. I just recently told him this last weekend that I am TS and he was very understandable and accepting. That gave me the confidence to strike out into the surrounding area. I have only been out a couple times but I haven't been dressed in anything too obvious. I went to the VA hospital today in Iron Mountain in tight flare jeans, v neck t-shirt, nails painted a very bright red and tennis shoes. Not one person even gave it a second look. So far that's been true for all places I've gone out in here. Tomorrow if it is warm enough, I am thinking shorts, tank, bra and sandals or flats to push it a little further.

The very few people who asked me about my nails, since I have had them painted everyday since January, are just curious and usually don't push it further than the initial answer.

[kimdl93]

I live in what I presume would be considered one of the least accepting states in the Union - Texas. But I live in Houston, which has an openly Lesbian mayor. And honestly, I've been out and about, both day and night without any adverse incidents. Of course, I stay away from neighborhoods where I wouldn't go....regardless of how I was dressed, and I make a diligent effort to blend.

[daviolin]

The amount of acceptance is dependent on
where you go
how you are dressed
if you are looking to battle the non-accepters
if you talk to random people a lot
how you carry yourself (are you walking, talking and acting like a lady, or like a guy in a dress?)
if you are paying them to be nice.

Are you going to go to a high school football game, a low income and high crime area, Disneyland, or are you headed out to coffee, lunch, shopping, or a club? I recommend not going to your local biker bar, or someplace like that.

I realize that anywhere you go, there can be idiots, but they are rare, and most times even they will decide it just isn't worth it.
The most I have been out in so far is some very light facial makeup, and we went to Chick Fil-a, Runway Fashion Exchange, and Walmart. Chick Fil-a had a family that was eaves dropping, and gossiping about my SO and my conversation. At Walmart, a few high school girls were huddled talking about me very obviously, but that was it. I expected much worse. I can't wait till I can go out.
BTW, the area that I am in is not progressive at all. There are more Mormon churches than gas stations and they all have multiple sermons and all are jam packed. If you aren't Mormon, you can expect a visit from their goons about once every month or two. I wish I could time it right so that I happened to be dressed when they came to the door.
Love it. I can't wait for the local jawhova witnesses come to my door while dressed. I will rock there world. Daviolin

[Danika140]

Love it. I can't wait for the local jawhova witnesses come to my door while dressed. I will rock there world. Daviolin

While I was TDY to Hurlburt Field in Ft. Walton Beach, FL. I was staying at my Aunt's house since she lives really close to the base. It was Saturday morning during the Halloween season and I was in the bathroom getting ready for Halloween parties I was going to be attending en femme when the doorbell rang. Mind you, I was still very new in dressing en femme so the time it took me to get ready was epic slow so I wasn't about to get out of it all just to answer the door and talk to someone who didn't know me, so off I went. I opened the door in heels, skirt, nails painted, make up and no shirt to find two gentlemen from the local Jehovah Witness church.

I couldn't help but laugh and think of how much fun I could have in this situation (being that I am not religious at all) and greeted them. Also, I am covered in tattoos with 14 of them and nipple and belly button piercings as well. We talked about faith, Christ, the church and practically everything in between. I got the feeling as uncomfortable as they were with talking to someone dressed as I was, they didn't want to be rude and run away...yet. I actually commended them for that lol. After what seemed like 20 mins passing, they handed me a pamphlet with the church's address and extended an invitation to join them for the next service. I politely refused and the look of relief on their faces was hilarious! They quickly about faced and shot down the driveway as fast as they could walk and as far as I know, they haven't been back since and that was in 2009 lol. I can almost see it now, pastor with his clipboard, 652 Vermont St - Heathens - CHECK! Bahahaha!

[ReineD]

I think it's the same everywhere as well. Larger cities are generally more forgiving than small towns, due to the sheer volume of people there. It's easier to get lost in a crowd of culturally diverse people. I should think that most CDers feel more comfortable among strangers than in their own back yards with people who know them in male mode.

[Beverley Sims]

I do not go out a lot locally, but when away the mice can play.:)

[jamierenee36cd]

im a otr trucker and i dress en femm i dont just walk in any truckstop in mini skirts and stillettos lol but i have been in a nice top and jeans in one no problem at all it was in canton oh i once walked in a store in upstate newyork to fill my thermos in a dress and heels no prblem alot of it i found is how you carry yourself and how you are dressed when when you go to places that arent clubs in other words dont wear a maids outfit to a grocery store oh and ive been to a grocery store in statesville nc

[TxKimberly]

Several times in my travels I've had a completely wonderful time in cities where I was told I would be crazy to go out in. I had a wonderful time in Oklahoma city once. Everyone I talked to was honestly nice and friendly to me and I never once got the impression that they were just tolerating me. I also went out twice in Little Rock Ar and again was treats vry well.

I enjoyed reading the comments about Texas and would have to agree with them. I've been out all over Texas and never had a problem. As someone else already pointed out, most Texans really do like to live by the rule that you are free to live your life as you see fit as long as you don't try shoving that shit down MY throat!

[Raychel]

I will probably get flamed for saying this, but most of the problems that CDs think they have are brought on by their own actions, or the way they are dressed. Any man who a 40 or 42 inch chest and wears falsies that give him a DD bosom is just asking for trouble.That is way too big, yet a lot of CDs do it!

Hey, I resemble that remark. I guess I better just stay in my little closet.:sad:

[Krististeph]

In the Chicago suburbs, i guess we have it good. From people I know, people i have met here in CDs.com, and from an unspecified 'study' that ranked all the states, i guess we have it made here. People in this area seem to be willing to let others be as long as no one is going out of their way to stick their heads up and scream 'look at me'... I've heard lots of stories about rock/pop stars through the decades who were giving rather a rough time if they insisted on being hot shots... I guess we are supposed to be unimpressed by big shots- but it works both ways- you want to rub blue mud in your belly in public, that's fine too- just make sure you are not trying to tell anyone else they are wrong for not doing so- and as long as you keep out of some rather lowbrow bars, everything seems to be okay.

I can say from shopping in drab here, every SA I've worked with is wonderful, i'm more worried about the other customers- or being noticed by someone i work with or know socially, but other than that, no worries. I'll see a number of TS throughout the year, working regular jobs, year after year- evidently the environment is accepting enough for them. Worked with a F to M TS at a hospital some years back, he was great, quite professional, a little standoffish personally, but I can understand that fully, and it was part of his professionalism as well. Always enjoyed working with him... a few others in the hospital were not as kind (not to his face, of course) and i had a few words about it once or twice (this was a small part of choosing to leave the facility eventually, it had one of the poorer reputations as a health care facility I found out, AFTER having been hired (mea culpa))

So the Chicago area, I would have to say is pretty cool. Once you get to about I-80 and south, it gets worse. Indiana is not to hot either, but in general, the bigger cities are better. St Louis I have heard is pretty good, but i would not want to have to deal with most of the surrounding suburbs.

There are a few jerks everywhere, but in the places i've mentioned, they seem to be isolated and do not get much support. I'd say i'm in a pretty good area.

[Launa]

Hi Jess, I saw your thread on the weekend but haven't had time to answer back. I want to say that I live in a fairly conservative city but at the same time its a city with many different lifestyles. I personally have just started my journey to go out of the closet and see what the world is like dressed as a girl from time to time. I posted a thread about my wonderful 3rd outing about 2-3 weeks ago. I talked about all the good things that happened, however................I did leave out a part of the story that when I was dressed up I wanted to go for a walk around a busy city block so I did. I saw 3 guys walk past me and I looked over at them as they were staring at me. I walked along without looking back and I knew nothing different but..........my wife was waiting for me in our car to finish my walk and she saw these three guys go into hysterical laughter after I kept walking down the lane. I could not hear these cowardly meatheads but my wife told me about them later. She felt real bad for me. I told her that I need to learn how to handle the heat or I may as well stay in the closet.
She said I know I just can't understand why its got to be such a big deal to people for you to be accepted.
I said well thats the way it is. Now the second time I went out I also had some real hard stares in my hotel lobby that were a "little too long" I gave them a hard stare back as I wasn't in the mood to smile. To sum it up I've only been out 3 times and I've had a great time each outing but has it been perfect and everybodys been tolerant?
I don't know......

[Nicole Erin]

Just however you dress and go out, just do your best to avoid the riff raff and things should be fine.