Told my Significant other

[surfdoc]

A bit too much wine the other night and I mentioned that I dress. She was worried I was cheating on her and that she is "processing it". I suppose that is good right? She is an extremely loving and unselfish girl. I wish there was more I could do for her. I am in no way pushing the fact that she see me dressed though. I figure if she wants to she can ask... and even then I do not know if I would have a courage to do so.

[Babeba]

I am glad that it is out in the open now, and that she knows you are not cheating with another woman. I hope it goes well!!

You said that a bit too much wine was involved in the confession.. If I were in that situation, I think I would really appreciate something to show it wasn't just the wine talking, and that now she knows that you aren't ashamed to talk about it if she needs to. I've seen other GGs say the reason their SOs didn't tell them sooner was because they would have to admit it to themselves first... And that hearing that helped them understand why their partner couldn't figure out how to tell them.

I know you don't want to push your SO, but it may be important to let her know in a sober moment that you care about her, you don't want to overwhelm her or force her to accept and participate, but you love every last loving, unselfish bit of her and she is important enough to your life that she needed to know and anything she wants to ask, you will try your best to answer. (and of course, tell her about FAB here if you would like - its really nice to talk to other GGs and see that your reactions are normal and that others have survived this revelation!)

[MandyGG]

There is nothing else that I can say on this that Babeba didn't cover already!

I am so happy to hear that you are wanting to take it slow and do things at her pace! Just keep the communication open now that you have started. You can't shut down now. I hope the best for you both and if she chooses to join us, we will gladly welcome her.

Best of Luck!

[Babeba]

I thought of something else - if it's easier to tell her that by writing, you could do it that way. Like, buy or make a nice card and write it there to show her that you've been thinking a lot about her and the best most thoughtful way to communicate about it.

[Erin McShea]

I wish you the best of luck

Erin

[Cheryl T]

Since the cat is out of the bag, now is the time to begin a dialogue.
Be open and honest...

[JamieG]

In my case, it was also wine that loosened my lips enough to come clean with my wife about 9 years ago. We've had many ups and downs, over the years, but certainly more good times than bad. If you haven't already, I recommend that you tell your SO "Look, I know you have a lot to process right now. I want you know that if you have any questions, that I will answer them. Also, please tell me whatever you are feeling, even if you are afraid that it will hurt me." It's really important that the lines of communication stay open and that both of you treat each other with love and respect. Good luck to both of you!

[RADER]

Since the cat is out of the bag, now is the time to begin a dialog.
Be open and honest...

Yes, I agree, but go slow, don't push it, Maybe start by asking her if she has any
questions. Be honest, and try to answer all questions as simply as possible.
If you have no intention to transitions, tell her that also.
Make sure she knows that she is your first concern, and dressing is a way of you
finding your inner self. Good Luck.
Rader

[AngelaKelly<3]

A bit of wine can work wonders! ;)

Happy for you to be out in the open now; I can imagine that your wife just needs a bit of time to research things and understand what's happening before she fully accepts it. Good Luck x

[Cynthia Anne]

That's it! Blame it on the wine! One more drink and you would of been wearing that lamp shade on your head!ha,ha! [ Just joking!]
That's called courage in the bottle! The main thing is she knows the truth now! Which I think is a good thing! Give her some time and hope for the best! Hugs!

[reb.femme]

Genie's never go back in the bottle, a bit like the wine. :)

Slowly does it all the way. I noted that my wife seemed a little distant over the last couple of days and mentioned this to her. I'm only fully out in the last few months.
During a text session with said wife today, she said, I should give her more time with my CDing, as I've had years with it, she only a few months. It is all very new and this will pop up every now and again.

So sometimes good, sometimes......whatever, who knows. But as all will advice, especially the lovely GGs, please go slow and be very honest.

That's my tuppence worth anyway.

Rebecca x

[Silentpartner GG SO]

What a wonderfully refreshing post surfdoc - - I love the fact that you are aware of the need to take things slowly and not push your wife. The fact that she hasnt bashed you over the head is a very good sign!

As others have said, softly softly - I hope it all turns out good for you and your wife. Do keep us posted - we all love a success story.

xxx

[Jenniferathome]

Great news! Now reflect on that conversation, did you tell here EVERYTHING. The wine might not have allowed you to be clear. If not, you have to disclose everything or what seemed liked telling her the truth (partial) is actual a lie. That is a bad way to start. If you have, be prepared for the usual questions: Are you gay? Do you want to be a woman?

[Barbara Ella]

It is a good first sign that you are out, and she is processing. Just to repeat what others have said to drive the point home. Dont leave her in a vacuum to process. You have to be by her side, as her husband/male. Dont push her. Be open and honest and answer everything honestly as best you can. She will accept an honest I dont know. She will be thinking about it, and it will contribute to the ups and downs that come from her uncertainty. Expect the ups and downs. dont get too happy with the ups, and dont get to hard on yourself with the downs. I am going through them, out for last 6 months only. Be prepared for the long haul, as you have read, sometimes it takes years.

The first step was wine wobbly, but nonetheless a first step. Reaffirm your love for her with a sober revisit to the subject.

Best of Luck, Barbara