Starting point of transition

[Andie Elisabeth]

My question is "simple" what is the point from where one starts transitioning? I ask this question because past couple of weeks it has been three steps forward, one, two or three back every day but in different aspects of my life.

The worst thing that I encountered is to stay in closet for a little while, language issue :sad: (-l/-la). I ask this question because today I passed an exam (got C, certificate from NI will come later) that was neccessary to pass so I will not be kicked out of school if some @#$%!; happens and with this obstacle cleared my worries were elevated to a level that I ignored to some extent that I'm still a guy and girlish half-danced through hallway. I got some weird looks though but who cares :heehee:

[Traci Elizabeth]

The answer to your question is really quit simple. BIRTH

[Bree-asaurus]

There's not some specific rule or gateway to starting transition.

You start transition when you are honest with yourself who you are and you make a promise to yourself that you are no longer going to sit back and let life pass you by as you pretend to be someone that you're not.

[Andie Elisabeth]

Wow, you are quick. I wondered whether there is some official borderline. What Bree wrote is similar to what I thought.

2 Traci: Thank gods that you are not longer Comic Sans Criminal :heehee:

[sandra-leigh]

You start transition when you are honest with yourself who you are and you make a promise to yourself that you are no longer going to sit back and let life pass you by as you pretend to be someone that you're not.

Quite!

I would say, though, that I was transitioning even before I knew it myself. Figuring out who or what I was, and experimenting to find out what I liked, was part of transition even though at the time I did not have a framework to understand what I was doing. The struggle to understand and accept yourself is, in my opinion, part of the transition process.

[StaceyJane]

There's not some specific rule or gateway to starting transition.

You start transition when you are honest with yourself who you are and you make a promise to yourself that you are no longer going to sit back and let life pass you by as you pretend to be someone that you're not.
I agree totally. Being honest with yourself is the first step.

[Bree-asaurus]

Quite!

I would say, though, that I was transitioning even before I knew it myself. Figuring out who or what I was, and experimenting to find out what I liked, was part of transition even though at the time I did not have a framework to understand what I was doing. The struggle to understand and accept yourself is, in my opinion, part of the transition process.

This is true too. I guess it all depends on what your definition of transition is... if it's a conscious attempt to be yourself, or the process of gradually accepting yourself and shedding your old, made-up character.

[elizabethamy]

Yawl are blowing my mind.

[christinac]

Would it be safe to say that transition is really the coalition of several factors that must fall into place one by one? Trying to find a way to ask the question without sounding like a total smartA-55. It isn't a switch that gets turned on, it is a process of several factors coming together, and basically you can be well into transition before you actually realize you are transitioning?

I hope you can make sense out of that.

[Bree-asaurus]

Would it be safe to say that transition is really the coalition of several factors that must fall into place one by one? Trying to find a way to ask the question without sounding like a total smartA-55. It isn't a switch that gets turned on, it is a process of several factors coming together, and basically you can be well into transition before you actually realize you are transitioning?

I hope you can make sense out of that.

How about spending less time worrying about putting labels on what you are doing or want to do, and just start doing the little things that make you happy?

[Julia_in_Pa]

Andie

Transition starts when you have exhausted all available means not to transition.
Most people put way too much thought into something that is actually quite simple.
The process of transitioning is a different step and a different story.


Julia

[christinac]

How about spending less time worrying about putting labels on what you are doing or want to do, and just start doing the little things that make you happy?

You lost me there. Going back over and rereading has basically answered my question anyway. I posted a similar question in another forum and got some very unfriendly and down right rude responses.

[Bree-asaurus]

You lost me there. Going back over and rereading has basically answered my question anyway. I posted a similar question in another forum and got some very unfriendly and down right rude responses.

Not being mean at all. I'm just saying why worry about what transition actually is, or trying to label what you are doing as transitioning or something else? Why not just do what makes you happy? If seeing a therapist about your gender issues, starting laser hair removal, or shaving your legs (etc.) make you happy, why worry if that means you have started transition or not?

[Jorja]

You girls have not read the official tgirl handbook. Chapter 2 section 6. And I quote, "You must look down at the ground, hop on one foot with heels on, and say 3 times, I want to be a tgirl, I want to be a tgirl, I want to be a tgirl. Then spin around, jump in the air and click your heels together. At that point you will have offically started transition. :D

[Bree-asaurus]

You girls have not read the official tgirl handbook. Chapter 2 section 6. And I quote, "You must look down at the ground, hop on one foot with heels on, and say 3 times, I want to be a tgirl, I want to be a tgirl, I want to be a tgirl. Then spin around, jump in the air and click your heels together. At that point you will have offically started transition. :D

I didn't do that... I don't want to be a t-girl :P

[Nigella]

Transition starts when you are ready, not before

[Julia_in_Pa]

Jorja,

I actually tried something similar in baggage claim at St. Louis Lambert Field.
The police weren't amused. :D


Julia

[Andie Elisabeth]

You girls have not read the official tgirl handbook. Chapter 2 section 6. And I quote, "You must look down at the ground, hop on one foot with heels on, and say 3 times, I want to be a tgirl, I want to be a tgirl, I want to be a tgirl. Then spin around, jump in the air and click your heels together. At that point you will have offically started transition. :D
Have .... to ..... stop ...... laughing ....... before ...... my ...... roommate ..... asks ...... what's ...... so ....... funny :heehee: Seriously, I don't like label tgirl. I am a girl in making, longer but better.

[Jorja]

Have .... to ..... stop ...... laughing ....... before ...... my ...... roommate ..... asks ...... what's ...... so ....... funny :heehee: Seriously, I don't like label tgirl. I am a girl in making, longer but better.

Actually, I don't care for the term tgirl either but I was in a hurry and it worked. ;)

[Bree-asaurus]

Actually, I don't care for the term tgirl either but I was in a hurry and it worked. ;)

I don't care for the term t-girl or tranny either... but I often use tranny in reference to myself or my trans friends.

One day I'll lose all those T-words altogether and I'll just be a woman!

[christinac]

"Tranny" is one term that I wish never made a come back into popular use. For a long time you almost never heard the term anymore and all of the sudden you hear it all the time again. I don't have any real convictions against the term it is just that it rubs my skin the wrong way for some strange reason.

[docrobbysherry]

I like the answers so far! But, for ME it would have been when I thot, I, my family, and friends COULD HANDLE IT!

That time never came for me! Not even CLOSE!

[Bree-asaurus]

I like the answers so far! But, for ME it would have been when I thot, I, my family, and friends COULD HANDLE IT!

That time never came for me! Not even CLOSE!

Well isn't that because you're... not transsexual? (remembering what you have said in the past)

If my family couldn't handle it, they could have walked on by. Thankfully, they are totally supportive :)

I did lose a couple very important people, but the fact that they couldn't handle it showed me that they weren't nearly as important as I had previously thought. Cya! Nice knowin ya! Don't let the door hit your @$$ on the way out!

[mcvste]

If my family couldn't handle it, they could have walked on by. Thankfully, they are totally supportive :)


It's not that simple for many people. Losing family is major trauma for many, and culture can be a factor in this.

[Bree-asaurus]

It's not that simple for many people. Losing family is major trauma for many, and culture can be a factor in this.

You make the assumption that I'm saying leaving family behind is easy, when I know for a fact that it is actually EXTREMELY difficult... but it was their decision, not mine.

As hard as it is, it IS that simple for many. If I didn't transition and take the risk of losing my family, I most likely would have ended up dead. I took the chance that by staying a live and being myself, that maybe my family would stick by my side. Luckily they did. However, two of them did not... so yes... F#$% them. It's not me being a bad person for transitioning... it's them being bad people for not being able to be there for me and loving me for who I really am.

I would still cry about losing them for a year after it happened. I still dream about reuniting with them, but I know it will never happen. So don't preach to me about how complicated it is... I know how complicated, and how simple it really is. And plenty of transexuals who lost even more family than me know this far better than I do.

[Princess Jen]

Andie

Transition starts when you have exhausted all available means not to transition.
Most people put way too much thought into something that is actually quite simple.
The process of transitioning is a different step and a different story.


Julia

I agree with this. I had been talking myself out of transition since I first heard of it. I was sworn against risking everything to feel right inside. But with my gender dysphoria becoming more and more intense, I broke down one day and realized I had completely lost the will to go on and continue living the lie my life had become. So I accepted that I had to transition, accept all the risks that came with it, and face my fears. That day was when I consider my transition to have started.

[Jorja]

You make the assumption that I'm saying leaving family behind is easy, when I know for a fact that it is actually EXTREMELY difficult... but it was their decision, not mine.

As hard as it is, it IS that simple for many. If I didn't transition and take the risk of losing my family, I most likely would have ended up dead. I took the chance that by staying a live and being myself, that maybe my family would stick by my side. Luckily they did. However, two of them did not... so yes... F#$% them. It's not me being a bad person for transitioning... it's them being bad people for not being able to be there for me and loving me for who I really am.

I would still cry about losing them for a year after it happened. I still dream about reuniting with them, but I know it will never happen. So don't preach to me about how complicated it is... I know how complicated, and how simple it really is. And plenty of transexuals who lost even more family than me know this far better than I do.

Never give up on family and friends. One day they might surprise you.

My brother, Pastor Bob, completely disowned me. He erased me from his life. I was going to hell for what I did. I accepted that but felt a need to keep trying to get him to come around. I would send him birthday cards, anniversary cards with flowers, attend events for his kids when he couldn't, and on and on. This went on for years. I don't know what happened but one day he called me and asked if we could get together. He explained how foolish he had been in the past. He wanted to try to build a relationship with me. He is now one of my best friends. You just never know when or if someone will see the light. When they do it is special.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Transition starts when you made your decision on who you want to be.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Transition is better thought of as an "end" not a "means"...

there is a long list of things that will benefit you as a transsexual(they may not be neccessary) ...and i guess you could say if you start doing them , you are "transitioning".....but you could do electrolysis and start HRT with no final intent to become transitioned...
many people try these things in the hope of figuring themselves out..

Thinking of "Starting" transition leads to what i beleive is our biggest most common mistake, which is telling people that you are transitioning or "in transition" before its is ABSOLUTLEY NECCESSARY!!..

[Bree-asaurus]

Never give up on family and friends. One day they might surprise you.

My brother, Pastor Bob, completely disowned me. He erased me from his life. I was going to hell for what I did. I accepted that but felt a need to keep trying to get him to come around. I would send him birthday cards, anniversary cards with flowers, attend events for his kids when he couldn't, and on and on. This went on for years. I don't know what happened but one day he called me and asked if we could get together. He explained how foolish he had been in the past. He wanted to try to build a relationship with me. He is now one of my best friends. You just never know when or if someone will see the light. When they do it is special.

I don't really know if I would want them back in my life. I've thought about that a LOT. Even if they came back apologizing and crying... they still can't undo the fact that they weren't there for me when I needed them the most... simply because it wasn't convenient for them. If one day they did want to restart a relationship, it wouldn't even be a fraction of what we had before because they have proven to me where their priorities lay.

And this isn't coming from some b**** who writes people off like it's nothing. I've been burned many, many times because I put myself out there when I think other people need help. I open up my arms and my home to people who I think are my friends. That's a different conversation though, and I've given second chances where I think the person genuinely deserves it, and I've also learned to... basically not be so d***ned caring when it could put myself in danger.

So yeah, it's not like I wrote them off the minute they showed their true colors... I've struggled with how I should feel about them for years. I honestly still don't know what would happen if they did come knocking on my door. But I doubt they will, so I just don't think about it anymore.

[sandra-leigh]

Thinking of "Starting" transition leads to what i beleive is our biggest most common mistake, which is telling people that you are transitioning or "in transition" before its is ABSOLUTLEY NECCESSARY!!..

Hee. It is more often the other way around for me, giving more accurate information to people who already believe I'm planning my SRS.

Living openly TG is my everyday life, and it is "absolutely necessary" for me. Though I suppose in theory I could go back to being rather sick and quite unhappy: since that is an alternative that would at least keep my body alive, I guess in theory living free is not absolutely necessary for me.

Urrr... perhaps you could define "ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY" again? I missed the part about figuring out whether full time life in a psych ward is a Valid Lifestyle Choice ?

[Jonianne]

Never give up on family and friends. One day they might surprise you.

My brother, Pastor Bob, completely disowned me. He erased me from his life. I was going to hell for what I did. I accepted that but felt a need to keep trying to get him to come around. I would send him birthday cards, anniversary cards with flowers, attend events for his kids when he couldn't, and on and on. This went on for years. I don't know what happened but one day he called me and asked if we could get together. He explained how foolish he had been in the past. He wanted to try to build a relationship with me. He is now one of my best friends. You just never know when or if someone will see the light. When they do it is special.

I love this story, Jorja! You were the one who acted as the spiritual leader, instead of your brother, "pastor Bob" and when he repented, your star shown even brighter as you forgave and received him back into your life. You are a precious jewel.