AmberDay
05-23-2012, 12:48 PM
Mission Accomplished!
Back in 2001, I went out dressed for a three month period. I tried the mall, shopping centers, fast food places, the library, and I got laughed and read every time I went out. (I wasn't good at dressing appropriately, wearing a cheap wig, bad makeup, etc). I was wanting to go to the Air Force Museum in Dayton, Ohio, but decided not to. I wasn't comfortable and decided to give up going out in public entirely.
Back in February of 2012, I have started going out in public again. This time with a lot more confidence, discipline, and experience. I have gone to the mall, movies, stores, restaurants, library, with only one minor problem at a local fabric store. Ever since I stopped going out in public in 2001, I have always wondered what it would be like to go the museum dressed in femme. I thought it would never happen. Even though I have been accepted as a female with the public, it still took a lot of courage to get dressed and go.
So, after my therapist appointment today, I decided today is the day. I made sure I dressed casual (jeans, plain v neck shirt, tennis shoes, etc). And made the journey across town. Sure enough as I pull into the parking lot, I see 8 school buses!!!! Just my luck the one day I decide to go is field trip day for a local school district. I thought about aborting. Kids can read us without even trying. I didn't want to be 'outed' or cause a scene with some intolerant parent. I called my wife and she told me that, "You are not Jason, you are Amber. Jason doesn't exist right now and if you believe you are Amber, you will do just fine." So after the pep talk I get out and make the walk towards the door. There are kids everywhere, so I do stick to a sidewalk a little out of the way. I walk in the lobby and there are over 50 kids between 8-15 years old. I pause only briefly (didn't want to bring attention to myself) and just walked through them to the interior. I went immediately to the Early Years 1700s-1930 (balloons to pre WWII fighters). I just started looking at the planes and reading the stuff on the wall. I have been there in guy mode several times and only looked at the planes, and now Amber is here actually learning the history.
It was a little nerve racking at first. People being all around and tours of kids continually passing through, but after 15min or so, I got absorbed into my role as Amber, and started having a good time. I had ZERO problems with anybody at all. In fact, one guy said, 'excuse me miss' when he accidentally bumped into me. Wow. I was wishing I had some friends that I can do things like this with, but Amber is a solo act for now anyway. While my wife accepts me being transgender, she doesn't really like to see it; especially be seen with me like it.
After I got done with the Early Years, I really had to go to the bathroom. I faced the dilemma of Family Restroom vs. Women's Restroom. I didn't want to cause a scene in the Women's Restroom if I was read and I didn't want to upset a father needing to help their child by taking up the family bathroom. I decided to call it a day and stop at a McDonald's on the way home and use their women's restroom and grab something to eat. No problems in the restroom (no one was in it), and even though I don't have a feminine voice, the cashier didn't bat an eye when I ordered. I sat and read my kindle for a few and just got home.
What a great day!
Amber
Back in 2001, I went out dressed for a three month period. I tried the mall, shopping centers, fast food places, the library, and I got laughed and read every time I went out. (I wasn't good at dressing appropriately, wearing a cheap wig, bad makeup, etc). I was wanting to go to the Air Force Museum in Dayton, Ohio, but decided not to. I wasn't comfortable and decided to give up going out in public entirely.
Back in February of 2012, I have started going out in public again. This time with a lot more confidence, discipline, and experience. I have gone to the mall, movies, stores, restaurants, library, with only one minor problem at a local fabric store. Ever since I stopped going out in public in 2001, I have always wondered what it would be like to go the museum dressed in femme. I thought it would never happen. Even though I have been accepted as a female with the public, it still took a lot of courage to get dressed and go.
So, after my therapist appointment today, I decided today is the day. I made sure I dressed casual (jeans, plain v neck shirt, tennis shoes, etc). And made the journey across town. Sure enough as I pull into the parking lot, I see 8 school buses!!!! Just my luck the one day I decide to go is field trip day for a local school district. I thought about aborting. Kids can read us without even trying. I didn't want to be 'outed' or cause a scene with some intolerant parent. I called my wife and she told me that, "You are not Jason, you are Amber. Jason doesn't exist right now and if you believe you are Amber, you will do just fine." So after the pep talk I get out and make the walk towards the door. There are kids everywhere, so I do stick to a sidewalk a little out of the way. I walk in the lobby and there are over 50 kids between 8-15 years old. I pause only briefly (didn't want to bring attention to myself) and just walked through them to the interior. I went immediately to the Early Years 1700s-1930 (balloons to pre WWII fighters). I just started looking at the planes and reading the stuff on the wall. I have been there in guy mode several times and only looked at the planes, and now Amber is here actually learning the history.
It was a little nerve racking at first. People being all around and tours of kids continually passing through, but after 15min or so, I got absorbed into my role as Amber, and started having a good time. I had ZERO problems with anybody at all. In fact, one guy said, 'excuse me miss' when he accidentally bumped into me. Wow. I was wishing I had some friends that I can do things like this with, but Amber is a solo act for now anyway. While my wife accepts me being transgender, she doesn't really like to see it; especially be seen with me like it.
After I got done with the Early Years, I really had to go to the bathroom. I faced the dilemma of Family Restroom vs. Women's Restroom. I didn't want to cause a scene in the Women's Restroom if I was read and I didn't want to upset a father needing to help their child by taking up the family bathroom. I decided to call it a day and stop at a McDonald's on the way home and use their women's restroom and grab something to eat. No problems in the restroom (no one was in it), and even though I don't have a feminine voice, the cashier didn't bat an eye when I ordered. I sat and read my kindle for a few and just got home.
What a great day!
Amber