CD or skank at heart?

[GiannaD]

Hi Ladies,
I need your help! Plz!

Am not sure if I cross dress for myself, or to attract/service men or women?

I fantasize about being dolled up in my skimpies, going to a foreign town, taking an add out on the personals (Craigslist, Backpage) and taking all comers (no pun intended!). I know this makes me sound like a **** (maybe I am???), but in my heart, I think I want to be used that way. At least once. (I've seen TV/TG before)

PLEASE tell me I'm a sicko or a perv, and to be happy being a newbie CD.

Apologies to Cd.com if Ive miss posted!
GiannaD

[whowhatwhen]

Whatever floats your boat, as long as you keep it safe.

[NathalieX66]

Two things to consider:
1. Who are you attracted to?
2. What gender expresses you in your deepest raw form?

Both may overlap, but not necessarily, if at all.

Ok, I'm not into craigslist for meeting people.

The spectrum of human sexuality, and gender expression is quite broad, nothing wrong with that. We humans are highly intelligent, and have broad imaginations. 'Sicko and perv' only apply to conservative religious groups that feel the need to define humanity in a very rigid and simplistic ideology.

[Marleena]

Somewhere out there people are cringing.lol.

If it's a fantasy, no big deal.:) If you do it then I agree with WWW, be careful.

[MandyGG]

<----- cringing.

Here is a post that makes shivers down the SO's spines.

Agree. Be careful.

[JulieK1980]

To each their own. Think SAFETY first.

[Barbara Ella]

You have some serious soul searching and thoughtful reflection to do to understand just what you want. You say you fantasize, if so, like Marleena says, no biggie. If it gets to the point that it gets beyond fantasy, and you are going to participate, that is between you and whoever, and just be safe

Barbara

[Deidre]

sounds like your being human to me i have had fantacys like that but never acted on them its all in what you really want hun it may be your emotions or it my be what you really want HUGS :)

[Lorenqt]

On the one hand, I'd say not to really worry about it. However I know that self-identity can be very important. I think you're a normal person with a healthy sexual appatite, absolutely nothing wrong with that. The areas of gender and sexuality can be very complicated.

Me, I used to cross dress more as a sexual outlet. Then I saw it more as filling a void in my life. I was conflicted between trying to live up to what was expected of me and what I wanted. It wasn't until recently that I came to accept who I am. So, at least for now, I am a CD kinda teetering on the edge of begining to transition. That's the gender stuff, sexuality wise, I'm bi.

As far as your choice in attire, that is 100% your choice. What I wear usually depends on how I feel. If I'm feeling a little sl#tty, then it's short mini-skirt, tight tank top (or even crop top), stockings, and heels. If I'm feeling more laid back, I'll wear either shorts or jeans.:kiss:

[Lorileah]

I object to the pejorative word. Why do some people insist on using that kind of language to make a point of how some people's idea of dressing is not the same as theirs and the person is considered bad or less?

If you dress to pick unknown males for sexual thrills you are a sexual fetishist and maybe an adrenaline junky. In my opinion you also have a poor perspective of women in general.

[NathalieX66]

Lorileah,what perjorative word are you talking about?
Sometimes I go out in the public eye as female. That satisfies me fine.

[Babeba]

Nathalie, there are two of them. They both start with S. Neither is a very pleasant word. In my mind (and maybe I'm just odd) they have little to do with the physical act of sex and a lot to do with shame, guilt and making a beautiful, physical thing "dirty."

OP, so long as you and every one else involved is a consenting adult and there are no deceptions put into place in order to gain said consent (so long as everything is aboveboard), and no one gets hurt... you're doing okay.

I want you to know, though, that fantasy sometimes is best left at fantasy. Sometimes it's absolutely awesome, but sometimes it is way better in your head than you dreamed it would be. If you ever get in that situation - where it isn't rocking as hard as you thought it would - no matter where you are in any acts, or what's stuck in where, it's okay at that point to say, 'No, I don't want to do this anymore. Stop.' If you ever do live out your fantasy, please PLEASE keep that in mind!

[GiannaD]

Thank you ladies for all of your wonderful insights...I think I'll leave it in the realm of fantasy for now and just focus on trying to become a decent cross dresser!

[darla_g]

Thank you ladies for all of your wonderful insights...I think I'll leave it in the realm of fantasy for now and just focus on trying to become a decent cross dresser!
haha , Gianna somehow i think you are enjoying putting us on with your post

[BRANDYJ]

Some things are better left unsaid, especially fantasies like this. Even if I had wild fantasies like the OP, I would not post to the world to read....at least not in a Forum not meant for fantasy land. You might say I'm a kiss and don't tell type. As for Craig's List...otherwise known as the sewer, I think you can find most any kind of disease there, as well as rapist, molesters, and even murders.. I'd be very careful.

[Lorileah]

Lorileah,what perjorative word are you talking about?
Sometimes I go out in the public eye as female. That satisfies me fine.

It really angers me that people on this board use words like Skank and ****. These words are used on females to confer that they are low class and poor morals. You would not use these words to describe your mother or sister (unless you yourself are just low class). The respect that some on these boards show for females all the while saying they want to be be just like a woman or emulate women. It shows that certain people here are using TG as an excuse to be sexist

[MandyGG]

It really angers me that people on this board use words like Skank and ****. These words are used on females to confer that they are low class and poor morals. You would not use these words to describe your mother or sister (unless you yourself are just low class). The respect that some on these boards show for females all the while saying they want to be be just like a woman or emulate women. It shows that certain people here are using TG as an excuse to be sexist

LoriLeah, You really should know how brilliant and amazing you are.

[Stephanie47]

Is there something weird going on today? I had to do some domestic chores and eat lunch, so I logged off. Then I get back on the site and this and bigguy posts???????? Ginger, you're a hoot! I think?

[BRANDYJ]

Wish I had said that LoriLeah...Then my friend Mandy would think I'm amazing and brilliant too!:battingeyelashes:

But to me, you both are.:)

[Vickie_CDTV]

This is definitely one of those things that should be left strictly as fantasy. Meeting men you don't know whatsoever in a private place for anonymous sex is NOT safe (and they would be men, a GG is not going to be interested in that kind of thing with a total stranger, even if you could find one who was actually attracted to TVs.) It is a good way to end up with a disease, raped or dead (and this has happened to trans folks doing this.) A GG in her right mind would never, ever do that, and neither should we (and even worse we are vulnerable on two fronts.) Leave it is a fantasy.

Also, i think you are confusing being (voluntarily) submissive and being exploited. You can be submissive (a good number of people enjoy this of all genders and sexualities), but no one should ever allow themselves to be exploited. Those kind of people you would meet are only interested in exploiting you. Find a partner you know to be safe and sane and explore your fantasies with them instead.

[MandyGG]

Wish I had said that LoriLeah...Then my friend Mandy would think I'm amazing and brilliant too!:battingeyelashes:

But to me, you both are.:)

Amazing and Brilliant are words too weak to compare to the force that is known as Brandy!!! I heart you!!!!

[BRANDYJ]

Amazing and Brilliant are words too weak to compare to the force that is known as Brandy!!! I heart you!!!!

Aw shucks Ma'am, ya done gone and made me blush!:o

[GiannaD]

This is definitely one of those things that should be left strictly as fantasy. Meeting men you don't know whatsoever in a private place for anonymous sex is NOT safe (and they would be men, a GG is not going to be interested in that kind of thing with a total stranger, even if you could find one who was actually attracted to TVs.) It is a good way to end up with a disease, raped or dead (and this has happened to trans folks doing this.) A GG in her right mind would never, ever do that, and neither should we (and even worse we are vulnerable on two fronts.) Leave it is a fantasy.

Also, i think you are confusing being (voluntarily) submissive and being exploited. You can be submissive (a good number of people enjoy this of all genders and sexualities), but no one should ever allow themselves to be exploited. Those kind of people you would meet are only interested in exploiting you. Find a partner you know to be safe and sane and explore your fantasies with them instead.

Thank you Vickie, very insightful! Actually I do enjoy submissive with my wife (we played a wee bit with her as a Dominatrix; in the end she's uncomfortable with the Dom thing. I think I want to be submissive because I own and run three companies, and I'm definately dom in the business world, at home (as the husband/dad,ect) though home is much more of a balance between my wife and I (I think we're a great team). I don't want to be exploited, you're right.

[whowhatwhen]

Does she know you want to see other men?
If she's okay with it then you can probably find a guy through more safe routes and have a bit more control.

[GiannaD]

Hi www, not at ALL into men (too many martini's when I posted that!) Definately into women and Tgirls...Tgirls becuase they look like women, are mentally women (at least some) and but yet they still have their "business" down below. Probably not making a lot of sense am I?

[MandyGG]

Last night, when you had your martini's, you made it clear that men were a part of the fantasy as well. So, you must be considering the idea of it, or it wouldn't have been written while drunk and turned on. Please read a thread that I wrote, that is about my husbands past experimenting. You may find it useful.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?172874-Interview-with-a-Husband

[GiannaD]

Hi Mandy,
I went back and read your thread; pretty insightful and it's obvious that I'm not the only guy in the world with an active imagination! I think the post that got closest to what my emotions are, and I apologize now for not remembering the posters name or giving credit was " The truth is, for hetero CDers the sexual excitement is over wanting to feel feminine, not an attraction to men." Amen Sister!! In a couple of the threads people made mention of wanting to experience the whole side of being a woman, including the sex. I love feeling feminine, and perhaps to rephrase my Martini thoughts would be..." to be a woman for a day, and to know what it feels like to be made love to by my SO" Role reversal if you will!

[Jenniferathome]

You can't possibly be serious. Why would you even post crap like this?

[MandyGG]

Hi Mandy,
I went back and read your thread; pretty insightful and it's obvious that I'm not the only guy in the world with an active imagination! I think the post that got closest to what my emotions are, and I apologize now for not remembering the posters name or giving credit was " The truth is, for hetero CDers the sexual excitement is over wanting to feel feminine, not an attraction to men." Amen Sister!! In a couple of the threads people made mention of wanting to experience the whole side of being a woman, including the sex. I love feeling feminine, and perhaps to rephrase my Martini thoughts would be..." to be a woman for a day, and to know what it feels like to be made love to by my SO" Role reversal if you will!

I hope you did get some use out of it, and maybe the next time you are feeling "that way" you will think back to it and remember that sometimes it is best to leave a fantasy as a fantasy.


You can't possibly be serious. Why would you even post crap like this?

That's what I thought at first, too! Then I remembered how Audrey felt before marriage with me, and I realized this must have been his thought process back then... So I felt some empathy.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Hi Ladies,
I need your help! Plz!

Am not sure if I cross dress for myself, or to attract/service men or women?

I fantasize about being dolled up in my skimpies, going to a foreign town, taking an add out on the personals (Craigslist, Backpage) and taking all comers (no pun intended!). I know this makes me sound like a **** (maybe I am???), but in my heart, I think I want to be used that way. At least once. (I've seen TV/TG before)

PLEASE tell me I'm a sicko or a perv, and to be happy being a newbie CD.

Apologies to Cd.com if Ive miss posted!
GiannaD


Ok I vote sicko, no wait I ment perv, Oh wait it was sicko, yeah thats it !, ummmmmmm no perv im sure of it !

Actually you have a serious fetish/fantasy going on, and I have to agree with others , that these kind of posts are best left for analysts.

[whowhatwhen]

Meh, no need to dogpile here though.
As we all know some people CD for sexual reasons, so it should be no surprise if fantasy hornyboners pop up every now and then.

Everyone ends up finding a posting groove eventually.
:)

[mykhelee]

When I was in the heyday of youth I dressed as a 23 year old would:battingeyelashes:...with the make up and hair I drew a few men towards their first "experiment".:yt: My GF pretty much demanded I pass her muster I would have to redo the make up...

Now as the winter of my years approaches I dress simply because I want to.

One bit of advice a friend gave me...make certain that whoever you try to get to "take" you knows what they're getting into, no hand up the skirt surprise.":eek::lalala:

Be careful out there,
Khelli

[Babeba]

OMG.... I could ONLY WISH I had the GUTS to do that... I am most certainly a **** at heart... I fantasize
all the time. When I get dressed up in my black thigh high 6 inch platform boots and mini skirt and see through top. How much
I would love to be on my knees before 2 or 3 guys doing the nasty, and letting them take me any way they want. Your not sicko
just having and enjoying your fantasies... I have so many CD fantasies... and GLORY HOLE OH MY GAWD.... I basically have no guts...

Umm, no guts?? Or a deep down conscience that is aware that this 'anonymous' path leads to STIs and risk of violence??? Multiple partner sex can be safe and fun, if it floats your boat - BUT in a situation like you are talking there is no guarantee you won't end up with a nasty, possibly terminal disease or infection, and you certainly aren't thinking about it in a safe way.

Why does a feminine being with an interest and desire for sex automatically have to 'be' a 'sl ut??' why do women who like sex have to take a low class, submissive, exploitated role if they are not being 100% vanilla?? Boggles the mind.


It really angers me that people on this board use words like Skank and ****. These words are used on females to confer that they are low class and poor morals. You would not use these words to describe your mother or sister (unless you yourself are just low class). The respect that some on these boards show for females all the while saying they want to be be just like a woman or emulate women. It shows that certain people here are using TG as an excuse to be sexist

Thank you! :hugs: I got a bit tired of being the anti-sl ut banner waver and decided to try a slightly different tack with the same overall sentiment.. And I really appreciate you (and Vicki_CDTV) taking the torch and holding it high!

[ReineD]

Actually I do enjoy submissive with my wife

You're married? When I read your first post I thought you were a single guy into the CDing for sexual fetish, wanting to express a single guy's sexual appetite. Honestly, I don't think that sl*t or skank even comes into it the way we apply this to women.

Does your wife know that you're dreaming about having sexual experiences elsewhere (it doesn't matter whether it is with men or women)?

As an aside, my SO and I had an interesting conversation tonight. This was before I read your thread, but I was describing the sentiment you describe that is so often expressed here: this seeming overwhelming need for CDers to have sex with men so they can experience sex as "women" (albeit without the vagina). My SO and I were talking about whether having these fantasies (when they are frequent and strong enough), is cheating or not even when the fantasies are not acted upon. At first my SO told me that she didn't think so.

But then I asked her how she would feel if I felt a rush over another man (say someone that I worked with or even someone I don't know that I would have met at a bar) and he began to take up a lot of head space, if I began flirting with him and to outside eyes this would seem harmless enough, but would rock my world internally, if I masturbated frequently to mental images of this guy and I making love, and if thoughts of sex with my SO kinda took a back seat (of if I imagine that my SO was this guy while we were making love) while all of this was going on. My SO's face fell when she heard all of this and I had my answer. She would consider my energies going towards fantasies with this other guy (if they were strong enough), just as damaging to our relationship as if I had actually had sex with him.

I felt bad to see her face fall, I've absolutely no intentions of going there, but it's amazing how quickly attitudes can change when the shoe is imagined on the other foot.

[AmandaM]

this seeming overwhelming need for CDers to have sex with men so they can experience sex as "women" (albeit without the vagina).

But then I asked her how she would feel if I felt a rush over another man (say someone that I worked with or even someone I don't know that I would have met at a bar) and he began to take up a lot of head space, if I began flirting with him and to outside eyes this would seem harmless enough, but would rock my world internally, if I masturbated frequently to mental images of this guy and I making love, and if thoughts of sex with my SO kinda took a back seat (of if I imagine that my SO was this guy while we were making love) while all of this was going on. My SO's face fell when she heard all of this and I had my answer. She would consider my energies going towards fantasies with this other guy (if they were strong enough), just as damaging to our relationship as if I had actually had sex with him.


The first part: that can be true. Some want to have the full female experience. Others though are just in the closet and use it as an excuse to have sex with men. Which is it? Hard to say. Each of us who are interested in the why's should try to decouple the feelings they have inside them as it relates to cding to try to find some truth.

The second part: I'm not sure if that's a good example because cders may have a strong gender-pull which does not exist in non-cd people. I don't know. Just wondering.

[Anneliese]

I actually wish there were more threads like this here. It isn't just about dressing up, it's also about what's inside. I have often thought (and said to others), if it weren't for potential STDs and unwanted pregnancies, I would have lived a much different sexual life. This is especially true because I loathe condoms. I am not turned on by men, but I am by their plumbing. As it is, 99.7% of my sexual experience came from my ex-wife, who was beautiful and insatiable (and a cheater, on a massive scale, which is why I divorced her). Less than 100 times total the rest of my life with eight other women. No gender experimentation other than dressing up.

[GiannaD]

Ladies,
While I am thoroughly enjoying the feminine aspects of cross dressing, and exploring my new found fetish, frankly at heart I'm still a genetic male. If it's one thing I've learned in 47 years of being on Planet Earth is that, by and large, men are horny! How they chose to find release for this character trait/flaw is pretty much up to them. Is fantasy part of it. Of course! Do we act on all our fantasies; some yes, some no. Do I love and honor my wife, you're damn right. There isn't a better woman in this world (no reflection on your SO'd, I'm a bit biased!). Does she know that I'm as horny as a double peckered billy goat; oh yes! Does she know that I'm more on the side of kinky/perv than normal 47 yo males; yes she does.

Having just spent the day at the pool; a couple of observations...One, I still enjoy looking at women from a beauty/sexy perspective (yes, again, my wife knows I look) and can definitively say that I don't get the same "stirrings" from looking at guys in their swim suits. The funner aspect was looking at all the mommies and studying their toes, hair, the way they wore their swimsuits, boobs in their suits, cleavage, fingernails, etc. Simple observation I think is going to be key in helping me select appropriate dress styles.

[ReineD]

Thanks for clarifying, Gianna.

It's true, the Venus and Mars thing. There are just a lot of things about men that I hear, I believe, and in a cognitive way I understand, but that I just don't "get". :p