Judgement on who to tell

[heathr1]

Is your judgement on who you tell or dont tell about crossdressing usually correct?

I feel mine is.

[suzy1]

I am convinced that my judgement is spot on.

I tell no one!:)

[Tina B.]

66% correct, I've only told three people, two where cool with it, one asked for a divorce. Wait, then I found a better woman to marry, and everything worked out great, so I guess that was 100% correct!

[RADER]

When I told my first wife, after we where married, she ran to a Lawyer.
I told my now wife about cross dressing, she wanted to see.
We have been married for over 18 years.
Those are the only ones that knew.
Rader

[Laura912]

100 percent accuracy rate. Told one person 15 years ago after 20 years of marriage and still married for 45 plus years.

[Valerie Nova]

I only ever told my ex-girlfriend after we already had broken up but were still friends. Unfortunately, she kind of has a big mouth, so now every time I meet someone we both know, I feel this suspicion that she told them. She swore she wouldn't tell anyone, but I know that hasn't always stopped her before. At least now, she's living in Virginia, so very few people I know ever hear her blabbermouth anymore. But I still feel nervous around most of our mutual friends.

[Bobbie cd]

100 percent accuracy rate. Told one person 15 years ago after 20 years of marriage and still married for 45 plus years.

OK, how exactly does that work? Last time I took a Math class, 15 + 20 = 35. Maybe it just seemed like 45 spending the first 20 stuck in the closet?

As to judgement on who to tell, I believe that the first is the most critically important. Who you tell first and how they react cannot help but color every subsequent instance. It never really gets easier and in many ways it will always be a sort of a crap shoot. Unless you are psychic (not psychotic) you can never really know what another human being is really thinking and how they will react.

After so many others find out, however, it quickly becomes rather a moot point.
Once two or more individuals are aware of a fact, it really isn't a secret anymore.

[Joanne f]

:lol: Mine was 110% incorrect apart from my wife .

[katie_barns]

My batting average really stinks. I have told 5 people in my life. I lost 2 friends and my wife is on the fence.

If I count all the people at work that I was outed to; then I am doing great. Go figure! My co-workers were more accepting than my friends, and wife.

[Lorileah]

everyone I have told is OK and accepting. I have told maybe 100 people so if each is 1% I am 100% :) The only one who hesitated was my mother but she is Ok with it now. Now there are many I have NOT told. Those are the ones I don't know how they will react

[NathalieX66]

I haven't actually told anyone, I just showed them pictures of me and let if go from there, that includes my parents. A bunch of my friends have figured me out, and they accept me, and then I told them. They are truly supportive. My dad, I can't figure him out. He's got something going on in his mind but he is not a very open person when it comes to issues about sexuality & gender, I think he's a little scared. He takes an odd amount of interest in gay and TG characters in tv and movies (particularly Mrs. Doubtfire, Tootsie, and the femmy guy in the old British tv show Are You Being Served?), and the public in general, but he has never said anything or acted on anything at all. I suspect that it may be generational. My family comes from an old-school catholic backround.

[Valerie Nova]

I haven't actually told anyone, I just showed them pictures of me and let if go from there, that includes my parents. A bunch of my friends have figured me out, and they accept me, and then I told them. They are truly supportive. My dad, I can't figure him out. He's got something going on in his mind but he is not a very open person when it comes to issues about sexuality & gender, I think he's a little scared. He takes an odd amount of interest in gay and TG characters in tv and movies (particularly Mrs. Doubtfire, Tootsie, and the femmy guy in the old British tv show Are You Being Served?), and the public in general, but he has never said anything or acted on anything at all. I suspect that it may be generational. My family comes from an old-school catholic backround.
Mine too. My response to my mom as to why I left the Catholic Church was pretty much "I can't live with the idea that every other thought that goes through my head is a sin." Or alternatively, "a belief system that requires me to censor my own private thoughts is totally antithetical to every fiber of my being."

[Stephanie47]

My wife knows and she participated with some bedroom play when first married. Now its DADT. My secret is on a need to know basis, since I do not choose to be anything other than an "in home" cross dresser. If I were to choose to go out and meet people en femme, it will not be at a family BBQ.

[Cynthia Anne]

I'm not sure how my judgement is! I tell nothing and show everyone all! They can make there own judgements! I just simply dont care! Hugs!

[DanaR]

The only people that I've told, is my wife and doctor. My youngest daughter found out years ago and told her two sisters. Other than these and some people within the CD community, no one knows about me; which is fine with me.

There are some people that only know me as Dana, but have no idea about my guy side.

[Delila]

I have always been careful of who I tell but I always wish there were more people that i could let in on the secret.

[leotard fan]

60% correct until now. but with time and carefull i hope, and i must, arrive at 90%. here in portugal i have friend they say are open mind, but if they know i am a crossdresser, they will not talk to me no more...

[whowhatwhen]

After doing various tests and loaded questions I can only say:
Thank god I never told anyone.

[Claire Cook]

Like Lorileah I have told a number of people (perhaps 100..) that I cd, and with one or two exceptions everyone has been accepting and supportive. Even those who have been lukewarm about it are still friends. Interestingly, I am much more likely to tell females than males (that makes girl talk easier...), but I guess I do gauge how they'll react before I do. I've not told any of my family other than my wife, but that will happen down the road. So far it's been no big deal; people accept me as me.

[PretzelGirl]

So far, everyone I have told has been great, not just okay, but great. So 100% to this point on telling anyway. I have no idea how I know whether not telling someone is right or not. I guess you could say 100% there too because it is unlikely you will go wrong there (unless it is a spouse). But in the end, those I haven't told are just in the pipeline for being told or finding out through other means. Whether I tell them or not in reality remains to be seen, but it sure makes it easier to get out and live life in general if you approach it that way. Then being found out isn't a big deal.

[Chardonnay Merlot]

Before I tell anybody, I have a screening process. I have close friends who have very definite opinions that run negative. With them I try to bring them along slowly, let them comes into a realization and hopefully what they may feel in regards to my cross dressing if it negative will be trumped by a good friendship. If our friendship is truly that, they will be supportive and they won't walk away. I have other friends who I can disclose more in a shorter time frame because they are accepting, and you know that from the start. Some of it will be trusting your gut. If you instincts say, don't do it..Then don't.

Family is a little trickier, so the screening has to be even more intense. With me, a key person in my family knew before I told them. My father found out on accident and I had to tell him. Thankfully, once he came down from the shock we were able to really talk it through and he's at a good place with everything.

Also, consider this: Some people in your life are going to know about this before you do. In my experience, those have been the MOST supportive, especially after you come out to them.

[xdressed]

50/50 at the moment. My ex girlfriend didn't freak out and said I was brave for telling her, but ultimately treated it like a drug that I had to ween myself off of. My current girlfriend who is now also my fiancée has been far more open and supportive. As far as I'm aware no one else knows, I certainly haven't told them anyway.