CD Stories

[cdtraveler]

I recently came out to my spouse and while she's surprised me with her caring reaction- which I love her even more than ever for....but is still very nervous about how to take it or what is OK to ask or if it's fair for her to state her limits, etc. ....was wondering if anyone could recommend literature or something not too overwhelming ie other spouses stories, research explaining and giving support and encouragement, etc that might be helpful to both of us to read as a means of discussiing all of this? Don't wish to have it get too heavy though so not sure my husband betty is what I'm seeking.

Thanks

[Alice B]

When I came out to my wife I first did a lot of internet searching about the subject and printed out many articles dealing with the how and whys of cross dressing. I highlighted all the parts that I felt pertained to me and where I was and wanted to go. I gave them to my wife to read and then we sat down over the next two weeks and discussed them. I answered al her questions as honestly as I could. We then set some ground rules for me to follow. True, once in a while I pushed the limits and was quickly reminded of our agreement. That was about 4 years ago and now, as time and adjustment has taken place I have much greater acceptance and freedom to express myself. Honest communication never fails.

[RADER]

There are some books on CDing;
"My husband Betty'
"My Husband wears my clothes"
There are a few more, Try Goggling Cross dressers and see what comes up.
Rader

[sonna]

i think thers a wifes or SO club here try that

[Valerie Nova]

Or you can just be like, "you know how you always say I'm more caring and affectionate than other guys? and how I always pick out the most thoughtful gifts for you? And how I would never even think of cheating on you and how nurturing I am with kids? Well, there's a bit of a flip side to that..." You could just start by mentioning that you're more feminine than other guys, or that people refer to you as being "pretty" or that you're really interested in women's fashion, but you swear you aren't gay. The only person I was ever up front about this with was my ex-girlfriend, after we broke up. She was ok with it, but I remember I joked that I was jealous of her boobs, and she totally had the wrong reaction, so I said I was just kidding. Initially, she said that if we were still dating, she'd have a problem with it, but then said that the only reason she would is that she'd be worried I was gay and would leave her for a guy. She did say she thought I had really good fashion sense, which I was glad to hear, and said that she figured there was something different about me because of the way I walked and the fact that I had such a pretty face. I think her general attitude was accepting, but a little uncomfortable.

Honestly, the more I hear, the more I believe that it's best to be totally open and honest right away, like when you start dating. The whole "keeping secrets" part is a huge part of what bothers many women. You can approach it a lot of different ways, like saying you're a lesbian born in a man's body, or joke that "seeing all those wedding dresses makes even me wish I was a bride." Or mention how much you like "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" and tell her which pony is your favorite and why. Just keep steering her impression of you in a more feminine direction so it's not really much of a surprise.

[Stephanie47]

If you're going to "Google" cross dressers make sure you have your filters set to what you want. If she "Googles" the subject herself, she may have a lot of serious questions that do not really pertain to what you want her to know or consider.

[suit]

anything but fictionmaina

[Jenniferathome]

There is no handbook. A few books written but the dynamic between each husband and wife is unique. Talk to her. Ask her if she is ready to talk. If yes, ask HER to set boundaries that make her as comfortable as she can be Frankly in this regard you have no say other than hiding is no longer an option but everything else is. She will amaze you once you start talking.

[Barbara Ella]

Start with honesty. Keep communications open, and finish with honesty. Nothing she wants to discuss or do can be off limits. She has a lot of catching up to do to understanding crossdressing and put the fictions to rest.

Start her with "My Husband Wears my Clothes." it is a straightforward discussion of the major questions she will have.

She just needs to really know who you are, and that you love her.

Barbara

[elizabethamy]

Don't repeat my terrible mistake. She said "I really don't want to read about it, just to talk to you," so I did nothing for her along those lines. But inevitably, she got curious, went on the internet, and has formed what seems to be an unshakable narrative that if you cd, it's about sex; that if you cd, you really want to have sex with men; that if you cd, it's only a matter of time before you walk out on your family suddenly wearing a dress and stealing all the family money so that you can go off and live as a woman and go to tranny bars.

She got all this from the internet, and frankly there is a hell of a lot of reinforcement for those ideas. So yes, give her articles, give her Peggy Rudd's book, give her "My Husband Betty," make her face this before she has a hardened and awful vision of what we really are.

I am working to undo this damage, and she acknowledges that surely hers is not a fair picture, but don't let her form her own narrative. It will not be the one that even remotely matches who you are and what you're going through.

elizabethamy