First time out - not sure what to make of it?

[retrofitme]

So I finally got the balls (all puns intended!) to go out in public dressed en femme. My wife and I are in the Keys and figured why not? It was an... interesting experience - but at this point I am still processing things. There were lots of things that happened - read on.

First off, my wife did an *amazing* job getting me ready. She did my makeup, my hair, picked out a wonderful outfit - she went all out. I could never have done it without her. She gave me enough confidence to give going out in public a try!

So after parking the car, I was nervous as hell walking down the street. As we started passing by people, I began to notice that no one was giving me a second look! My fear had always been that I would be instantly recognized, or outed, or worse laughed at. But to my pleasant surprise, I seemed to slip by unnoticed.

So we went to dinner at a nice Italian place on Duval. I don't have anything close to a 'fem' voice (my voice is naturally quite low) so I took to just speaking very quietly when I ordered. That seemed to work well enough. The restaurant was loud too, so that helped.

Things were going well, until I took a drink of my water - the ice waited for half a second and then slipped down the glass spilling water all over my chin - which of course had a negative effect on my concealer! Ugh! Thankfully, it didn't smear too badly, but it was a mark against my confidence level. Mind you, I am probably a bit oversensitive as this is my first time out. Then our food arrives and it is *amazing* - but as I am eating I notice that my wig is starting to slip off. So I decide I better go to the bathroom, and as I am getting up, one of my nails pops off onto the floor. I didn't realize it until I got to the ladies room - where there is of course a line. So I wait, and finally get a stall - I fix my hair, only to realize that my nail is gone. I get back to the table and find it on the floor, pop it into my purse.

We head over to a store to pick up some barrettes and then head to another bathroom so she can fix my hair. The bathroom is absolutely *tiny*, the stalls are super low, and everyone knows that there are two of us in one stall. By this time, I am feeling quite overwhelmed, but I am still having a good time. So we trek on.

Anyhow, so we leave and head over to the Aqua bar. It's a gay bar in Key West that has a Drag Queen show that is a lot of fun! It was certainly interesting to watch the gals do their show. So we're there when one of my nails pops off again (different one) - so I head to the ladies room to fix that and answer mother nature's call.

So I get to the bathroom, and there is a line... so I wait and finally get a stall. Not more than two minutes later, some drunk girl barges in while I am going! I don't think she saw anything or 'made' me so to speak, but I was still pretty embarrassed. She apologized as I was on my way out, and I nodded quickly as I made my escape. I think it was an honest mistake, but it kinda threw me for a loop.

When the show was done, we headed back to the car. Along the way, there is another drag queen club (801 Bourbon Bar). A couple of the Queens were handing out flyers for the show - my wife took one, then the gal handed one to me and said, 'Hey, didn't I see you up there on stage?" I was a deer caught in the headlights. I was so flustered at having been outed I mumbled 'no' and kept on walking. That was a big blow to my confidence - was I really that obvious? I'm telling myself that it 'takes one to know one.' Passing by an expert might be a bit of a tall order given my looks.

Anyway, just wanted to share my experience out and about. Overall it was a good time and I think I'd be willing to do it again sometime.

Cheers,
Retro

[Tracii G]

Well it sounds like you have a great SO and had a great time too.
I'm heading out on a girl date this weekend sometime hope I have as much fun as you did.

[Delila]

So I finally got the balls (all puns intended!) to go out in public dressed en femme. My wife and I are in the Keys and figured why not? It was an... interesting experience - but at this point I am still processing things. There were lots of things that happened - read on.

First off, my wife did an *amazing* job getting me ready. She did my makeup, my hair, picked out a wonderful outfit - she went all out. I could never have done it without her. She gave me enough confidence to give going out in public a try!

So after parking the car, I was nervous as hell walking down the street. As we started passing by people, I began to notice that no one was giving me a second look! My fear had always been that I would be instantly recognized, or outed, or worse laughed at. But to my pleasant surprise, I seemed to slip by unnoticed.

So we went to dinner at a nice Italian place on Duval. I don't have anything close to a 'fem' voice (my voice is naturally quite low) so I took to just speaking very quietly when I ordered. That seemed to work well enough. The restaurant was loud too, so that helped.

Things were going well, until I took a drink of my water - the ice waited for half a second and then slipped down the glass spilling water all over my chin - which of course had a negative effect on my concealer! Ugh! Thankfully, it didn't smear too badly, but it was a mark against my confidence level. Mind you, I am probably a bit oversensitive as this is my first time out. Then our food arrives and it is *amazing* - but as I am eating I notice that my wig is starting to slip off. So I decide I better go to the bathroom, and as I am getting up, one of my nails pops off onto the floor. I didn't realize it until I got to the ladies room - where there is of course a line. So I wait, and finally get a stall - I fix my hair, only to realize that my nail is gone. I get back to the table and find it on the floor, pop it into my purse.

We head over to a store to pick up some barrettes and then head to another bathroom so she can fix my hair. The bathroom is absolutely *tiny*, the stalls are super low, and everyone knows that there are two of us in one stall. By this time, I am feeling quite overwhelmed, but I am still having a good time. So we trek on.

Anyhow, so we leave and head over to the Aqua bar. It's a gay bar in Key West that has a Drag Queen show that is a lot of fun! It was certainly interesting to watch the gals do their show. So we're there when one of my nails pops off again (different one) - so I head to the ladies room to fix that and answer mother nature's call.

So I get to the bathroom, and there is a line... so I wait and finally get a stall. Not more than two minutes later, some drunk girl barges in while I am going! I don't think she saw anything or 'made' me so to speak, but I was still pretty embarrassed. She apologized as I was on my way out, and I nodded quickly as I made my escape. I think it was an honest mistake, but it kinda threw me for a loop.

When the show was done, we headed back to the car. Along the way, there is another drag queen club (801 Bourbon Bar). A couple of the Queens were handing out flyers for the show - my wife took one, then the gal handed one to me and said, 'Hey, didn't I see you up there on stage?" I was a deer caught in the headlights. I was so flustered at having been outed I mumbled 'no' and kept on walking. That was a big blow to my confidence - was I really that obvious? I'm telling myself that it 'takes one to know one.' Passing by an expert might be a bit of a tall order given my looks.

Anyway, just wanted to share my experience out and about. Overall it was a good time and I think I'd be willing to do it again sometime.

Cheers,
Retro

I think we are more visible to our own. I have many times spotted other CDers and TGs that my wife would never have picked out. It sounds like all in all you had a great evening. Congrats on your courage to try and go out there. I have only ever had the courage to go out once and I had someone outright ask if i was a guy. It was on halloween so it was ok. Really though congrats on the courage to try it I have a friend that told me he would not even have the courage on halloween.

[Beverley Sims]

Lissen honey, when yu are outed by a drag perfomer handing out flyers or such.... be proud give a big smile and go with the flow.
When they out you to your face like that... YOU HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED.

[Claire Cook]

Retro,

You picked a great venue for your first outing -- Key West is a very open place ... and I'm sure that you heard about Fantasy Fest! For the first time out, sounds like a great confidence builder -- especially how you dealt with the various situations that came up! (Bet your antiperspirant was working overtime...) Believe me, I learn something just about everytime I go out - just adds to the confidence the next time out. A couple of things I've learned -- I always make sure that the door to the ladies' stall is locked (you were VERY cool about that .. good that the girl was drunk!) and second, if I'm read, I take it as a complement -- the guy has the guts to look like that in public. [So far that has never happened in the ladies' room ... now we really understand when our wives complain about the lines there!]

Anyway, thanks for sharing this great story and we look forward to hearing about the next fun time!

[Cynthia Anne]

I agree with Claire! That is quite a first outing! I think you handled it very well! The next time you will have more confidence and enjoy it even more! Keep that head up and be proud of who you are! Hugs!

[Tina B.]

That is one of the wildest first time stories I read yet. And the only one that outed you was a drag queen, you should be filled with convince. And for the first timer, you handled all the little emergences very well, you should be proud. Most of us have trouble going to the gas station that first time, much less a sit down dinner.
Tina B.

[Jackiefl]

retrofiteme it only gets better from here. I'm glad you had a good time and hope your lovely wife did also and don't forget to give her a big hug and kiss.

[RenneB]

Great story girl. Sounds like one of my first times out. Nails popping off is a common occurance and one of the reasons I carry spares in my purse. Not to mention spare pantyhose and wig tape and ..... well you'll know what you need.

The first cut is the deepest as it seems to last forever but as time goes on and you get out and about, the time to gets shorter and shorter as you focus on the tasks or errands and less on the 'presentation'.

Thanks again for sharing.....

Renne.....

[PretzelGirl]

Yea! A big atta girl for you. Getting out your first time is tough enough, but dealing with any issue can derail anyone's confidence. You worked through each one and kept going. Good for you! And a big :hugs: for your wife for her love and support. It is a tough thing for them too and just her going out for your first time is a great show of support. Make no mistake, she probably had some **gulps** going on too. We just tend to not see them because we are so nervous ourselves. So do something for her today and thank her.

But the way you went through this one is a good sign on how it will be for you in the future. It usually gets easier as you go out more, so you are on a good path. Great story!

[Barbara Ella]

What a wonderful first time. You two really packed a lot into it. It really must help to have such an understanding partner to go out with you and help you through it. Clocked by a professional, quite an achievement, and I'll bet you did look good enough to get on that stage.

Barbara

[retrofitme]

Lissen honey, when yu are outed by a drag perfomer handing out flyers or such.... be proud give a big smile and go with the flow.
When they out you to your face like that... YOU HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED.

Thanks Bev! I had expected the opposite reaction from the DQ's - I figured they would kind of be more understanding to outing someone. I wasn't offended or anything, just not prepared for that reaction. Now that I know more what to expect, I can be more 'go with the flow'. :)

[retrofitme]

Retro,

You picked a great venue for your first outing -- Key West is a very open place ... and I'm sure that you heard about Fantasy Fest! For the first time out, sounds like a great confidence builder -- especially how you dealt with the various situations that came up! (Bet your antiperspirant was working overtime...) Believe me, I learn something just about everytime I go out - just adds to the confidence the next time out. A couple of things I've learned -- I always make sure that the door to the ladies' stall is locked (you were VERY cool about that .. good that the girl was drunk!) and second, if I'm read, I take it as a complement -- the guy has the guts to look like that in public. [So far that has never happened in the ladies' room ... now we really understand when our wives complain about the lines there!]

Anyway, thanks for sharing this great story and we look forward to hearing about the next fun time!

Thanks Claire! Crazy thing was, I *did* lock the door - trouble is little did i know the hinge was loose and with a slight push the lock would slip past and open. Like you said, at least she was drunk and didn't see anything (I hope!)

[retrofitme]

Yea! A big atta girl for you. Getting out your first time is tough enough, but dealing with any issue can derail anyone's confidence. You worked through each one and kept going. Good for you! And a big :hugs: for your wife for her love and support. It is a tough thing for them too and just her going out for your first time is a great show of support. Make no mistake, she probably had some **gulps** going on too. We just tend to not see them because we are so nervous ourselves. So do something for her today and thank her.

But the way you went through this one is a good sign on how it will be for you in the future. It usually gets easier as you go out more, so you are on a good path. Great story!


Thanks Sue! My wife is really cool and fully supportive...beyond supportive even. Her head was much cooler than mine for sure!

[JessHaust]

Early on I had some of the same experiences. As much as I like nails, I now refuse to wear them. I've lost more than I can count, and the whole nature call thing is devistating to them. Every outing with the girls I hear 'anybody got superglue?' several times a night. I'm just not going to be a slave to fasion to that extent.
Drop the fake nails, try and grow your own, and the night is a lot more fun.
Congratulations, it just gets easier every time, I promise!

[Shananigans]

It sounds like you had a lot of fun!! My SO and I are actually supposed to be in the Keys right now...but, things got pushed back to July. The two of us probably would have been having a very similar experience on Duval. And, maybe we will in a month...hmmm...

But, don't ya just hate press-on nails? I've never liked them. Duval is always so crowded and crazy...not to mention HOT! My face always melts off and my hair is a mess by the time I decide that I am absolutely done with that place. So, this obviously took a lot of guts and commitment. I'm usually finding shade, fanning myself, and drinking an umbrella drink within an hour...but, you can't take me anywhere without me being a diva. My hat is off to you.

[kimdl93]

Aside from a few issues with nails and hair, it sounds like you did pretty well. I wouldn't be bothered by being read. As has been said many times on this forum, its unusual for a male to pass convincingly. It seems that you blended in with the crowd, and without comment, save one from the TV on the street. I think that's a very successful evening.

One comment - I prefer glue on nails over press on's. A little extra time is involved, but they stay put and dissolve easily with acetone.

[KellyJameson]

It may have been a simple thing like the wig that the performer noticed and not your overall appearance, wigs usually are noticed best by those that use them because they seem to frame the face differently than natural hair.

It's possible that seeing the wig led to the assumption you were part of the show.

If you ever wondered what if feels like to be a spy in a foreign land trying to pass as a native facing death upon discovery now you have a close approximation. They should teach male spies how to live as woman for training, who knows maybe they do.

[Sam-antha]

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Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Babeba]

Thanks Bev! I had expected the opposite reaction from the DQ's - I figured they would kind of be more understanding to outing someone. I wasn't offended or anything, just not prepared for that reaction. Now that I know more what to expect, I can be more 'go with the flow'. :)

I would say that was her way of saying you look really professional? I would take it as a compliment!