Question For GGs

[Delila]

My wife is incredibly accepting far more than I could have ever wished for or really deserve. My Question is how do you deal with having a secret that is not your own? My wife has sometimes stated that she has a difficult time keeping the secret not because she has a problem with my dressing but specifically because she would really like to talk about it. She is not the internet forum type I have recommended many times that she come here and speak with others that are in the same boat but really it is just not the way that she functions. Have you found a way to discuss the matter with friends without alienating them? I would like to help my wife in any way possible to make this burden easier on her.

I should add this forum is not for GG only any CD who have found a solution for this issue would be very welcome.

[MandyGG]

I openly admitted my husbands secret to my best friend. I told her that I needed someone to talk to. She was extremely helpful, and has never once treated him any differently than she did before knowing. It was nice to have someone that knew him personally to talk with.

[Delila]

I openly admitted my husbands secret to my best friend. I told her that I needed someone to talk to. She was extremely helpful, and has never once treated him any differently than she did before knowing. It was nice to have someone that knew him personally to talk with.
I wish that my wife could openly share the secret with her best friend. Unfortunately her best friend has intimated that she is not OK with crossdressers and so my wife has felt uncomfortable sharing with her. My best friend is also a CDer but his girlfriend who is also at least partly aware of his CDing is not a person that my wife is comfortable sharing with. I really want her to have an outlet for her stress related to my CDing but I honestly have no idea how to go about helping her. She did accidentally out me to a mutual friend but the friend has never mentioned it since I think out of respect for me.

[WifeofWrenchette]

May I suggest counseling then? Perhaps talk therapy is in order for her. Someone who is versed in CD issues would be good.

[Delila]

May I suggest counseling then? Perhaps talk therapy is in order for her. Someone who is versed in CD issues would be good.

This may sound crazy but I fully distrust counselors my wife with her psychology degree fully agrees with my stance.

[Laura912]

Delilah, what type of person does your wife want to speak with? Female friend, male friend, pastor, physician, some one here via private email?

[Lesley_Roberta]

My wife is incredibly accepting far more than I could have ever wished for or really deserve. My Question is how do you deal with having a secret that is not your own? My wife has sometimes stated that she has a difficult time keeping the secret not because she has a problem with my dressing but specifically because she would really like to talk about it. She is not the internet forum type I have recommended many times that she come here and speak with others that are in the same boat but really it is just not the way that she functions. Have you found a way to discuss the matter with friends without alienating them? I would like to help my wife in any way possible to make this burden easier on her.

I should add this forum is not for GG only any CD who have found a solution for this issue would be very welcome.

Apologies for feeling better suddenly, but you see, I appear to have the exact same problem, I mean almost word for word.
I'm glad for not being utterly alone in my frustration.

I so wish she would just hurry up and join HERE and not go blindly using Google. I am here, and I need her to be here as well.

[PretzelGirl]

For each person I have told, I have said that many need someone to tell themselves. So I ask them who they feel they need to talk to and tell them to go for it. I like to know who solely because it makes conversation easier when references are made by that person. You may think it starts a chain of this person telling another and so on. I have found that each person that was told in this manner ended the chain right there. Sure, there could have been some that they told, but no one I know apparently. It has worked out quite well.

[Aprilrain]

My Question is how do you deal with having a secret that is not your own? My wife has sometimes stated that she has a difficult time keeping the secret not because she has a problem with my dressing but specifically because she would really like to talk about it.

In a nut shell, I don't keep other peoples secrets. I think it is wrong to ask someone to hide when its not even their issue, though I do think its perfectly reasonable to ask for discretion! My BFs big secret isn't even his CDing, its ME! I don't advertise to everyone I know that he is a CDer but I have told a couple of people who I trust, besides they don't really know my BF or anyone he knows so they would have no reason to spread gossip around. They are so underwhelmed by the fact that he CDs that they probably have forgotten I even said anything. If your wife has a therapist that would be the best place for her to start, a trusted close friend second.

Now my BF big secret, as i said, is me! I'm TS and he would rather no one know he is with a TS. We almost broke up over this not because I want to put up a billboard but I asked him to consider what he would do if his son found out. he doesn't even want to think about it. I told him point blank I don't lie about stuff if asked directly and though I never tell people I'm TS if i don't have to i wouldn't deny it either. Anyway its his funeral if he dosen't want to consider the consequences of his actions.

[Babeba]

I haven't told anyone about Crystal, it is not something she is Comfortable with at this point in time. Has she ever tried the forum thing before? It might surprise her.

[StevieTV]

I told my BF and she told her husband, his family, her friends which are some of my friends. In hindsight, it helped me become a better me since I didn't have to hide anything. I did say to my BF afterwards that I didn't think it appropriate to blab to everyone. She apologised but it was still out there.

[Barbara Ella]

Same situation, and I suspect a lot more are in the same place. My wife is not a forum person, joined, posted once, never came back. Does not want to discuss with friends, left it up to her. Went to counselor to talk, but all counselor wanted to do was tell her to do crazy things like leaving for a week, sleeping on the other bedroom, etc. did not want to listen. She was a short lived experiment, but the first session or two were good as wife talked, and felt better. Really wish I could get her on here, but not gonna happen. Now there are other life problems that override even talking about something so trivial as dressing, so I/we are on hold.

Best of luck to you, Barbara