What do you all do to feel pretty?

[ameliabee]

Feel like complete crap, got read for the first time in months last Thursday, keep getting misnamed and misgendered while stuck at home, need to feel gorgeous and feminine again? (And it would be really cool if somebody who didn't want to get in my pants thought I was pretty!)

Suggestions?

[Bree-asaurus]

That's a hard thing to do, especially if you are early on in transition, still have low self esteem and still hate who you see in the mirror. And it's kind of like a roller coaster sometimes... you'll feel great about yourself some days, and others, you just feel like an ogre.

Feeling pretty, or accepting yourself as a beautiful human being can only come with time and experience. All I can tell you is to keep being yourself. Over time, you start to realize that it is what you think about yourself that matters, not what others think about you.

[Deanna Jeanine]

Self image is such a hard thing to get a grasp on. I had a BPD/DS (extreme gastric weight loss surgery) 4 years ago. Before my surgery I weighed 340 lbs on a 5'11" frame. Now I bounce between 195-205 and could loose another 15-20 lbs immediately if I could get plastics on my abdomen. And every time I look into the mirror I used to see that "fat guy/girl" looking back at me. No matter how much people told me how good I looked, I still saw "him" looking back at me.

Last year after an almost 10 year break I started dressing again. And guess what, the size 20-22 BBW now suddenly fit into size 14. I could hardly believe it. Where my measurements were once 50-52-50, now they are 40-34-42 (not quite Barbie, but better than Slimer from Ghostbusters).

I once considered SRS back in the 80's, but due to lack of info and therapy I didn't. Now 3 marriages later, I know that Dee is really who I am and will always be. But due to many circumstances too numerous to list, I will remain a TS stuck in a CD body for at least another 8-10 years. Who knows what like will bring after that.

I see ladies like you and Bree and think how lovely you are. I live for, and hope for the day that I will be able to join you as sisters. And remember when some dude is trying to get into your pants...tell them you already have one a**hole there already, don't need a back up!

Luv ya girls. Hugs and kisses,
Dee

[KellyJameson]

You become pretty when you no longer need to be.

These are the words that I'm trying to feel and become and not just be able to say.

When you spend a lifetime living in the wrong body not feeling ugly is feeling pretty.

Living in the wrong body for me feels like being thrown in a deep hole and buried alive, I cannot breath, I'm scared out of my mind half the time and the other half I'm exhausted because I keep trying to claw my way back to the surface so I can breath again.

Happiness can mean the difference between life and death but it feels like it is impossible to find, experience or even define.

But there is a way...

We are human beings first with all the same needs,wants and desires expressed and searched for in are own unique way that all others that have come before us or will come after us have needed,wanted and searched for.

Think about what you want and need as a living breathing human being separate from a human being living in the wrong body. I found this to be extremely difficult to do because I was and still am consumed by it, but it also saved my life and bought me precious time until I could make the changes necessary to bring me some measure of sanity.

There are so many pleasures to be experienced in the world but they are only experienced if we have the courage to go looking for them and this courage is diffcult to come by when the world wants you to believe the opposite of what you know to be true. We run away and hide or we cover ourselves in armor for protection and conflict becomes our shadow.

I have found that I have to fight twice as hard for life and happiness as those who are not like me do. Happiness is possible but it comes from learning to be sensitive to small pleasures such as a song, a walk along the beach or appreciation of a sunset to carry you through those ugly times when people are cruel.

The more pain you are in the greater the need to learn how to appreciate the experience of life because happiness is hidden in the shadows and buried under the sand and it is different for each person so we must look to ourselves as much as others to learn where to find it and how to experience it for ourselves.

Try to not become imprisoned by what others think of you for the person on the outside but think about what you want from others for the person on the inside.

Pretty and sex are synonymous for men, try to not take this personally because it is an automatic expression of their animal instincts but insist on being respected and respecting yourself.

[emmicd]

beauty comes from within. it is a feeling connected to who you are. i always strive to be a beautiful person on the inside.
externally, electrolysis and a good skin care regiment is the first step. next is dressing in clothes that make you feel nice and pretty. that is my belief.

emmi

[Kaz]

Looking pretty and feeling pretty are very different, if albeit connected things... figure out what is most important to you and work on that... 5 years from now? Where do you want to be? For me... alive would be good! Grab life and make it work... it is just so short...

[Lesley_Roberta]

Pretty can be just a state of mind and still as enjoyable as being pretty in appearance. Remember, some people are indeed pretty on the outside and ugly on the inside.

I don't mind being pretty on the inside. I like a good bath, some nice scent and then a walk listening to my music (where I pretend it is me singing). With my eyes clothed, I am able to feel just fine even lacking any form of visual benefit. Yes I walk so darned slow that I can actually manage to plod along with my eyes closed hehe.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Pretty = positive self esteem
Pretty = loving yourself for you
Pretty = accepting what reflects back at you in the mirror
Pretty = the day you quite worrying about being pretty
Pretty = a kind loving heart
Pretty = being a good person

[ReineD]

With me, it starts with washing my hair in the kitchen sink and then putting on a deep conditioner that I leave on, while I apply a mud mask, which I leave on for about 45 minutes, while I soak my feet in a plastic wash tub with Woolite (I figure if it can dissolve stains safely from fabric, it must be good for feet :)) for about 20 minutes. And then I put cuticle remover on my toe nails for about 10 minutes after which I push the cuticles back. This leaves about 15 minutes to file and shape my toe nails.

Then I get in the shower and rinse everything off, hair, muddy face, feet. When I come out I feel like a million dollars and I moisturize everywhere liberally with Palmer's Cocoa Butter. :) If I have time, I apply base, polish, and top coat to my toe nails, blow dry my hair, put on a bit of makeup, a nice fresh outfit, and out the door I go.

I do this routine about every 3-4 weeks because it is so time consuming, although I should do it weekly.

[Stephenie S]

I go to the nail salon. A nice long pedicure and manicure leave me feeling just fine, thank you.

Oh, and don't forget a new bra. Want to feel great? Get a new bra.

And wait. A visit to my hair stylist works wonders. I always walk around town after a visit to the hair salon just flipping my hair around. Unfortunately, it never looks quite as good when I do it myself at home.

And a smile. Don't forget that. A smile just lights up your face.

Stephie