out and about in womens clothes today

[emmicd]

all i wish for is to be myself, a girl!
is that too much to ask for?
i went out crossdressed today wearing a woman's blouse,color blue, loose over women's black slacks. the only thing out of place were my boy shoes. i have girl shoes but am afraid to wear them outside yet. once i receive my wig i will start to go out more dressed. i can't wait!
just wanted to share this with you all!

emmi

[emmicd]

i went to the mall and received some stares from the girls. they knew i was wearing womens clothes. i felt great and happy too!
tomorrow i will dress similarly but wear the girl shoes.
i am also tempted to get a girl hairstyle but my hair is still relatvely short.
has anyone receive a cute feminine hairstyle with short hair?
i will add to this my experiences as i venture outside in womens clothes. hopefull sometime soon it will be in a dress.

emmi

[Kathryn Martin]

I started with a very short hairstyle. Look at progression d'image in light topics

[Julia_in_Pa]

Emmi,


When you say you went out cross dressed is that an admittance that your wearing clothing of the opposite sex?
If you consider yourself a woman then didn't you go out dressed in normal attire?

Just making you think sis.


Julia

[Pamela Kay]

I'm with Julia Emmi. When I go out dressed I'm going out as myself not as someone I want to be.

It takes awhile sometimes to realize that Emmi is who you really are and your male self is who your pretending to be. But this is based on whether you believe you are really TS or not. I think based on many of your posts you have come to this conclusion, you just have to convince yourself.

You convinced me a long time ago. :)

[Frances]

While Julie has a point, I still think it's super important to verify your TG feelings with real world experiences no matter how you verbalize it. So many get caught up in fantasies. The point of transition, of becoming a woman, is to lessen existential angst. If it feels good to take whatever step, it is worthwhile to investigate further. Electrolysis is usually the deal-breaker.

[KellyJameson]

Hi Emmi

I'm glad that you were not bothered by the stares, in the beginning I was always crushed by people not seeing me as I knew myself to be. You have a nameless strength that I cannot quite
put my finger on that I do not.

I understand using the clothes in a social context to assert and demand recognition of who you are after a lifetime of being bent by others into the unnatural and opposite shape of what I experience as my soul, genuine self,essence , truth, reality, ect..which runs contrary to the reality of my body in a world of people who do not experience this.

For me this allowed me to find the person that I was born as but never lived as.

There may come a point where the clothes will fail you. For me it was a type of healing from the scars of being forced to live untrue to who and what I am so it was a social experience that once I healed from I moved beyond.

People had inadvertently hurt me by relating and defining me based on how I looked and not seeing me below the surface so I used others to heal myself by taking this same tendency and turning it back on them.

This stopped working and I felt panic at first but now realize I had moved through the pain born out of the past and into the experience of the present now as a whole person. I have and I continue to move beyond the need to be defined by others. I have known my truth for a long time but did not understand it's significance or appreciate how deeply it goes down into you so the clothes are becoming increasingly irrelevant.

I still like to dress up to feel more like a woman but I never stop feeling like a woman because I always have. I just did not know what to call it because I did not understand where it came from and assumed I was broken in some fundamental way that could be fixed.

Now I see that what I have always felt that touches everything I am and do (going back to the cradle), is the same force that has always placed me in direct opposition to practically every person I have ever come into contact with except others like me.

Those who have already walked this path will want to protect you from an over reliance on the clothes to keep you honest and moving in the right direction but remember to always stay true and trust yourself to make this journey by following your own rhythm. It is OK to be stubborn and do it your way because this will eventually take you back to the beginning and you will find the self that is you waiting on the otherside.

[emmicd]

yes in answer to julia and pamela i went out as emmi. you are correct! i was myself. it felt right and i was happy. i was with my son also which made it nice for me because he accepts me. he is a typical 13 year old aside from asperger's. today i went out with my son to the mall for pizza and a movie. i wore my blouse, female slacks and my girly shoes! it felt wonderful and i was with my son too. i even held the door open for some women who commented on my shoes! they asked me if i were TG and i said my name is emmi and they giggled and said very cute!

it was a great experience for me!

emmi

[emmicd]

Kelly,

you make me really think when i read your posts. you are so deep and i love reading all og your posts. they make me smile. i feel i am a woman and the clothes help to reinforce what i am and what i know. i do admit that clothes play a big part of who i am and i love expressing my true self with my female atire. it is all i have right now since i still look like a guy. the electrolysis is helping me to present a much more feminine appearance now though!

i had fun being out as emmi today and yesterday with my son!

always nice to hear from you kelly!

emmi

[JohnH]

Emmi,


When you say you went out cross dressed is that an admittance that your wearing clothing of the opposite sex?
If you consider yourself a woman then didn't you go out dressed in normal attire?

Just making you think sis.


Julia

When the weather is warm I wear denim skirts instead of shorts all the time. When the weather gets cold I go back to wearing jeans and flannel shirts, and for the first few days I feel that I am crossdressing. Interesting.

John

[Kathryn Martin]

For many of us wearing men's clothing is like crossdressing. I have always been into fashion and during my time emulating male I paid much attention to wearing well cut suits, shoes and shirts. I always still felt that my clothes were unable to express who I was. I crossdressed my entire life until I finally transitioned to full time.


When the weather is warm I wear denim skirts instead of shorts all the time. When the weather gets cold I go back to wearing jeans and flannel shirts, and for the first few days I feel that I am crossdressing. Interesting.

John

[Kaz]

Well done Emmi.. sounds like it worked well! I hate anything remotely negative and am not good with it. My instinct is to runaway - I guess I did that in York yesterday... I'd ordered an Indian take-out to appease my partner (no... I just like Indian food!:)) and had been in Kaz mode most of the day, so I turned up as Kaz... got some comments that may or may not have been directed at me - I hit the car, make-up off, change of clothing... then redid everything 30 minutes later...

I just love all the people here that DO IT! I just s**t in my pants and run... well, not quite! But I so understand the feelings... just want to be me... no categories, no issues, just me... the person I am.

[LeaP]

For many of us wearing men's clothing is like crossdressing.

That's funny, actually. I have a lot of journal entries wherein I indicated that I felt like I was crossdressed in male clothing. The more dressed up I was, the more I felt this. I don't feel crossdressed in women's clothing, I feel relief. (except that I also look like crap, but that's another issue ...)

Emmi, wear the shoes. It's a wonderful, simple thing.

[arbon]

Glad to hear you are doing something, going out that is awesome. It is a great feeling at first. Exciting! How did it go with the support group you were talking about last week?

[emmicd]

the support group was helpful. i found others similar that i finally could relate to. thank you for asking arbon.

[sfwarbonnet]

Emmi, I wear women's clothes "out" routinely and have never encountered a stare. I think that men should be as comfortable wearing clothes from the women's department as women are in wearing clothes found it the men's department. I have found that the following women’s clothes are suitable for wearing "out".

!) Pants: Women’s pull on pants are much easier to put on than men’s belted pants. They do not need a fake fly, as the absence of it is usually not apparent, but I prefer non-figured and solid color, non-pastel pants so they are not readily identified as women’s clothing.

2) Panties: Underpants with a fly is unnecessary with pull on pants. Although there are no-fly briefs in the men’s department, women’s full-cut briefs work just as well, and are often cheaper.

3) Slips: Shirttails tend to readily pull out of pull on pants. This can expose panty and pantyhose tops and a bare back is usually uncomfortable when seated. A “solution” is to wear a full slip that is short enough to be worn with slacks. A slip with adjustable straps, lace trim, and a bodice is even OK as it is covered and feminine features aren’t apparent. Also slips are usually made of material that makes it easier to pull on pants.

4) Bra: This is generally not considered an adrogynous item, but it can be useful in “boy mode” to keep non-adjustable straps on a slip from falling off the shoulders

5) Pantyhose: An MD suggested that I wear support pantyhose to avoid the indentation in my lower legs that mid-calf or knee-high socks make. Pantyhose do not require anything that is not also needed with pull on pants. Opaque ones are best, as they aren't readily identified as women's hosiery, but that isn't necessary and non-opaque pantyhose are OK and are more available.

6) Purse: Keeping a wallet, comb, notepad, phone, and keys in pants pockets is awkward as it is hard to extract them when seated, and pockets in women’s pull on pants are often not very deep anyway. My “solution” is to use a small shoulder purse, which can either be worn or secured in a basket when that is available.

[JohnH]

My reply to sfwarbonne:

I like to wear skirts or dresses - I don't have to fumble with a zipper when I stand up and pee - I simply lift the hem up.

As far as panties are concerned - never in my life have I used the fly in my underpants. I simply pull down on the band.

The bra is going to be something I am going to have to wear for appearance sake and to support my breasts.

And I am getting mighty sick and tired of fumbling with stuff in my pockets. So in the near term I am going to go with a purse. I was thinking of getting a Scottish sporran but some men on SkirtCafe.org say you are better off with a shoulder bag or purse.

John

[Andie Elisabeth]

6) Purse: Keeping a wallet, comb, notepad, phone, and keys in pants pockets is awkward as it is hard to extract them when seated, and pockets in women’s pull on pants are often not very deep anyway. My “solution” is to use a small shoulder purse, which can either be worn or secured in a basket when that is available.

Rule #1: You love it, you get it :D Don't duck out because you are trying to pass as a guy for time being. I ducked out last summer when I got myself a new purse.

[Stephenie S]

It might be helpful to understand that sfwarbonnet uses a wheelchair. He brings a different and unique perspective to crossdressing that is not that common on this forum.