feeling alot of pressure.

[ashleymasters]

So I've come under some persecution at work for being a crossdresser. And I decided it was time to tell my wife. I'll need her with me when this all comes out. She isn't thrilled but she said the most perfect thing after I told her. "no I'm not going to leave you. I still love you just as much". Its not a happy time I have ahead but at least she's with me.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Awesome, I notice you are from Korea, mayby you can give us some cultural insight about being transgendered in Korea ?

[Presh GG]

I'm sorry this is exceptable in Korea to hurt you in your workplace. That is illegal in the U.S.

In what way can they persecute you?

And you have a wonderful wife , though I'm sorry she had to find out this way with so much outside presure at the same time.

I too would like to hear more of your story.

The every best to you,
Sincerely,
Presh GG

[TeresaL]

How did your workplace find out? Hope this goes well because it is difficult no matter what. My wife has known for more than 15 years and is still not accepting. So I know what you are dealing with.

Best thing for me is that I'm retired now and don't have to worry about outing myself at work.

I'm interested in the cultural limits also. Last i heard was heavy non-acceptance in Korea.

[Barbara Ella]

In such a male dominated society, with business going on til all hours into the nite with the rest of the guys going out for dinner and drinks nearly all the time, I can see where someone knowing would make it into an impossible situation. I can also see where your future at that place may be in jeopardy, I hope not.

My wife's best friend has suffered from this male activity in her home life after returning from the US for her husband who returned years earlier for work reasons.

Good luck.

Barbara

OK, did not catch the US Army occupation. Different slant entirely. never mind.........

[PretzelGirl]

Well, Ashley appears to be US Military stationed in Korea which takes this down a different path.

Ashley, are you being confronted by your leadership or is it a peer pressure issue?

[ashleymasters]

I'm not in trouble its a "mental health issue" but it's a peer who has an axe or two to grind with me

[arbon]

It sounds like a lot of love and commitment in your relationship. That is huge. When I accidentally outed myself in an email a few years ago to a vendor we use where I work I did not know how it was all going to play out, but I was honest with my wife about it and she stuck with me through it. It means a lot when someone sticks with you through the rough times.


I'm sorry this is exceptable in Korea to hurt you in your workplace. That is illegal in the U.S.


Though it is changing, especially over the last couple of years, I think in most states it is legal.

[WifeofWrenchette]

How is this legal? Isn't it considered a "hostile work environment"? I think he has grounds on that.

Maybe that applies only to ADA, but I'd still look into it.

[natacsha]

Hi Ashley. I would say that having her after telling her is a happy time. Everything else to me would be secondary. Let the healing begin! lol xoxoxo

[Chickhe]

If it is a peer with an axe to grind...good luck. You're better off to figure out a way to work with someone else. I would tend to offer no answers to anyone and instead ask a lot of questions... if this guy is making your life difficult, then start asking questions to the people he reports to...he will have to start explaining why you mean so much to him...

[Presh GG]

Arbon,
It can be used in Washington, Oregon and California Only if it is cloaked in an otherwise bad work report.

Where can they OPENLY use it against you please ?

Thank you for the information
Presh

[ashleymasters]

In the military you can't be punished bit it is considered an illness.

[Tina B.]

Sorry I can offer no advice, I don't know that much about the laws, rules and social attitudes in Korea. I am curious about how they found you out, and what type of pressure you are under. Here while we have some laws in some states that protect us, jobs can always find a reason to let someone go if they don't fit in. I wish you all the luck possible, and you are already ahead of the game, the wife knows, and has not joined the opposition.
Tina B.

[Lyric]

One of may favorite people on another forum is a crossdresser living in Korea. She has a prominent position with a university, but is completely open about her crossdressing. She wears long hair and varying degrees of androgynous or feminine attire at work and at leisure. She also has a family.

I've never quite understood why many crossdressers see it as more of a curse than a blessing. And no matter what country in which you live your private activities are not the business of your coworkers. If it's a matter of how you dress at work, that's another matter, of course. I hope after the dust settles things are better for you. Perhaps in the long run you will feel a great relief by having things out in the open, though. Nothing harms relationships more than deceit.

~ Lyric ~

[mykhelee]

If you know what the letters in the title mean....we are not dealing with anything like rational thought here. :evilbegon
Crossdressing is still considered a mental illness and while not punishable it can certainly be used as a backdoor reason to find another way to discharge the person in question. It must really piss them off that they can no longer legally persecute folks because of who they fell in love with.:love:
I lived out by Lemoore NAS, my son-in-law works for one of the Hornet squadrons. He says they are drumming more and more longer term folks out. They don't really have to have a reason to get rid of you, if the right people want you gone-you will go.:brolleyes: JAG won't help you. The military is recruiting hard to bring in lower paid entry workers to take the place of higher paid crew. Sound familiar-even the military has adopted excecutive bonus stratagem.