Does anyone not want to be a crossdresser?

[Tatiana]

I often think to myself about the shame and guild I have gone through over the years due to my cd’ing. As a young teenager would wear my mother’s clothes including her underwear. When I went baby-sitting I would try on the next door neighbours clothes. I’ve tried my brother’s girlfriends clothes when she had left some at our house. I even stole a girlfriend’s skirt that happened to be left in the saddlebag of her bike (she used to ride to work and change into a wonderful black pencil skirt that I just couldn’t resist). As I grew older I’ve bought women’s clothes and then had the purged. I hate to think how much I’ve spent. I made my girlfriend think I was gay by wanting to swap clothes. I’ve spent money I didn’t have on clothes for cd’ing when I desperately needed some drab wear. I could go on for ages. I never wanted to be a cd’er, but I am so pleased that I am!

If there was a magic pill I could take that would make me “normal” (or at least not cd) I would not take it. I think cd’ing is part of me. I may be all macho on the outside with as much chance of passing as a fart in a lift but within me is the thoughtful, caring and feminine self, the real me. I would not be without my cd’ing as I think it is what makes me into me. I never wanted to be a cd’er and still can’t understand why I love it so. I wonder if it is a case of I’ve tried the forbidden fruit and now can’t give it up.

Do others feel the same? If a give-up-cd pill was available would you take it?

[terrianncd]

No, I would not and could not give it up. I am female inside so it's not crossdressing really is it? In fact, are we not crossdressing everytime you put on that "guy" outfit? I feel this way when I dress for work as a guy. I'm crossdressing in that the outfit that doesn't match who I am really....

TerriAnn

[Diane Smith]

For many years I probably would have been happier if I could hang up the heels and never think about dressing again. But as I've aged, gotten out a bit, and become better at the technical aspects of putting together an outfit, doing my makeup and so forth, my attitude has changed quite a bit. I like the craft of crossdressing -- doing the best job I can to look like the person I want to be. And I've met some wonderful people and had a variety of experiences in the women's side of the world that have added a great deal of richness and satisfaction to my life. Although I have to be discreet about my activities to some extent, I now think of this more as a gift that has let me explore areas of the world normally off limits to a plain-looking 55-year-old guy, and overall, I think it has been positive for my intellect, emotional life and creative urges.

- Diane

[ReluctantDebutant]

I would take that pill. After 15 years of excepting my crossdressing it has yet to evolve into anything more then playing dress up in the closet. I don't feel female inside at all. And I would really like to know what I could do with all that emotional energy if I could apply it to something else.

[JohnH]

Oh, how I hate the term cross-dressing! We simply want to get out of the horribly narrow constraints placed on males as far as clothing and grooming are concerned. If only we could go back to the times when it was normal for boys to wear dresses and Mary Jane shoes, and have long hair - the 1940's and before. Some reprobates got it in their minds to spew forth their bilge about how "boys don't wear that", "boys don't do that", "Be a man" and how society got infected with those perverse ideas. Parents that say that to their boys in my opinion are engaging in child abuse that has resulted in the pandemic of "masculine anxiety" paranoia.

I would dare say that when boys wore dresses if a man wanted to wear a dress it was not such a big deal. Back then it was the women who were persecuted for wearing pants.

Now if a man could wear a robe or kilt and wear war-paint makeup with the acceptance of society we would not be seeing all the hang-ups that litter this website. It's a shame that 911 happened since it would be nice to wear an Arabic robe but that would bring back painful memories - look at SkirtCafe.org and you will not see men wearing Arabic robes or thobes. They wear skirts, kilts, and dresses.

John

[Stephanie47]

If the premises is I would never have a thought about cross dressing, no matter what the cause, of course I'd take it.

[KARI AN]

No I like who Iam, only wish it was all the way forever, the female in me is real and I enjoy every minute of it.

[RADER]

I take enough pills now, I do not need more.
As for cross dressing, why would I want to stop? I enjoy wearing woman's clothes,
Am I a female trapped in a mans body??? I think not; I do not want to transition.
Just wear pretty things.
I remember when I was barley a teen ager, I would spend summer up at the
Grandparents house on a lake; They had dressing rooms for people to change into their
swim suits. So when they left them behind because they where wet, I would wash them all
at the request of my Grandmother. After they where dry, I would sneak them into my
bedroom, and wear them to bed at night. What a wonderfully feeling to feel the spandex all
over you at night. I will never forget those wonder full summer days.
Rader

[Marleena]

Do others feel the same? If a give-up-cd pill was available would you take it?

Yes I would so I could stop dressing like a guy.:D

[Sandra1746]

I self identify as transgender so I couldn't stop my CD-tendencies.

Fortunately my wife is also fairly accepting, that makes life easier.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

[geri-tg.]

NEVER NEVER NEVER. I feel blessed to be the way I am.

[Karren H]

Yes.... I would be happier if it went away... Maybe happier isn't the right word. My life would be sooo less complicated if it went away... But I do not feel guilt or remorse... I am what I am and there's no changing that...

[Cynthia Anne]

I just want my outside to match my inside! And not the other way around either! Hugs!

[Kaz]

Wouldn't it be so great if I could just be 'normal'?... and do what normal people do... sat in the middle of the 'normal' distribution curve... MOR... the mass...

NO! I want to be ME!

[Laura912]

For many years I would have taken two pills just to make sure they worked. Even now, one pill....yes. But I would miss it. :straightface:

[eddiesavage]

Yes ,because of the pain and hurt it has caused my wife.

[natacsha]

Hi Tatiana!! this is officially my favorite thread!! I love it!! and reading the reactions people have are stirring so many thoughts into my head right now. So I will just quote away. Don't mind me...


I never wanted to be a cd’er, but I am so pleased that I am!

If there was a magic pill I could take that would make me “normal” (or at least not cd) I would not take it. I think cd’ing is part of me. I may be all macho on the outside with as much chance of passing as a fart in a lift but within me is the thoughtful, caring and feminine self, the real me. I would not be without my cd’ing as I think it is what makes me into me. I never wanted to be a cd’er and still can’t understand why I love it so. I wonder if it is a case of I’ve tried the forbidden fruit and now can’t give it up.

Do others feel the same? If a give-up-cd pill was available would you take it?

NOOO WAAYYYYY!!!!! I used to think about it all the time. But the truth is in your words. Forbidden fruit though??? Where once I thought that I was doing something wrong (forbidden) I can no longer justify it that way because I realize it's in me. It's always been in me. I am her and she is I. Nothing forbidden about it! lol weeellll....,,,,it is forbidden to be this damn sexy!! hehe haha lol just kidding.


No, I would not and could not give it up. I am female inside so it's not crossdressing really is it? In fact, are we not crossdressing everytime you put on that "guy" outfit? I feel this way when I dress for work as a guy. I'm crossdressing in that the outfit that doesn't match who I am really....

TerriAnn

spoken like a true TG. It's cool. I'm the same way...and improving!! lol


I would take that pill. After 15 years of excepting my crossdressing it has yet to evolve into anything more then playing dress up in the closet. I don't feel female inside at all. And I would really like to know what I could do with all that emotional energy if I could apply it to something else.

If playing dress up with no femme feelings attached was all that it was for me, I wouldn't need a pill to stop....


Oh, how I hate the term cross-dressing!
John

It's not cross dressing.....it's cross sexxingggg lol


If the premises is I would never have a thought about cross dressing, no matter what the cause, of course I'd take it.

truth!


No I like who Iam, only wish it was all the way forever, the female in me is real and I enjoy every minute of it.

preach!


I take enough pills now, I do not need more.
As for cross dressing, why would I want to stop? I enjoy wearing woman's clothes,
Am I a female trapped in a mans body??? I think not; I do not want to transition.

And the buck stops there. I can't see myself transitioning either but I can't say that if and when the opportunity presents itself that I will turn it down. Just understanding now what I wish I knew then would have changed everything but in my young 30's and a life I've built behind me would make that a very difficult choice, regardless of how femme I am.


Yes I would so I could stop dressing like a guy.:D

A girl that knows what she wants!! go on wich yo bad self!! lol


I self identify as transgender so I couldn't stop my CD-tendencies.

Fortunately my wife is also fairly accepting, that makes life easier.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

you're just lucky lol


NEVER NEVER NEVER. I feel blessed to be the way I am.

Me too darnit!


Yes.... I would be happier if it went away... Maybe happier isn't the right word. My life would be sooo less complicated if it went away... But I do not feel guilt or remorse... I am what I am and there's no changing that...

Life would definitely be less complicated without this. Maybe this is what chaos dealt us? Could be worse....

[Nichola]

I'd often wish I could just be 'normal' & not crossdress but not so much anymore. I absolutely love it, I can't even describe how it makes me feel. Dressing up a little now & again is a lot of fun to me & is the best way I can deal with my obvious gender issues. Sometimes I take a break, because I like to be a guy too, but I always come back to it. It's a 'need' for me.
If there was a give up cd pill, I'd think about it for a second or two then flush it down the toilet:heehee:

[Cassi3]

No way I'd take that pill! I've always felt female inside, and one day the outside wrapping will reflect who I truly am inside

[Rachel Renee]

I, too, would pass on the pill, injection, hypnosis, or anything else that would "fix" me. Don't wanna change.

[Julia_in_Pa]

I don't want to be a cross dresser.

If I was I'd be dressing in a suit and tie for work and smelling rather poorly.

No thank you.


Julia

[April_Ligeia]

Crossdressing is just a part of many related interests, for example this weekend I watched Forbidden Zone and Pink Flamingos, and created a new profile photo and avatar on photoshop. It is about the clothes but goes beyond that on other levels, I could never remove that one part without destroying my psyche completely. I do not just crossdress, I am a crossdresser. There is too much to lose if that went away.

[Janine cd]

I've thought about the desire to crossdress for most of my life. After all of these years, I have come to believe that there will never be the time that I wished to end my desire to dress fully as a woman. Yes, I've been through the purging phase several times, but I soon return to wearing those "forbidden" clothes each time more comfortable than before.

[NathalieX66]

I'm in a creative business. I need all avenues to express every aspect and idea that comes out of my brain.
If female expression is a side effect of it all , then so be it. I can handle it.

[Michaella]

I often wish I were "normal." It would make life a lot easier. But I fear the "pill" you describe, the instant stop that really did work, would leave me with regrets, and I have too many regrets in my life already. There is no answer to this that is satisfactory.

Michaella

[Vanessa Storrs]

I doubt that I would have chosen to be a crossdresser but I was not given the choice, it is something beyond my control. I have thoroughly enjoyed the adventures I've had while dressed and have no guilt or remorse about my dressing. If I were to suddenly become "normal" my life would not be nearly as interesting and I. Don't know what I would do with all those clothes.

[Rebecca Star]

Oh, how I hate the term cross-dressing! We simply want to get out of the horribly narrow constraints placed on males as far as clothing and grooming are concerned. If only we could go back to the times when it was normal for boys to wear dresses and Mary Jane shoes, and have long hair - the 1940's and before. Some reprobates got it in their minds to spew forth their bilge about how "boys don't wear that", "boys don't do that", "Be a man" and how society got infected with those perverse ideas. Parents that say that to their boys in my opinion are engaging in child abuse that has resulted in the pandemic of "masculine anxiety" paranoia.

I would dare say that when boys wore dresses if a man wanted to wear a dress it was not such a big deal. Back then it was the women who were persecuted for wearing pants.

Now if a man could wear a robe or kilt and wear war-paint makeup with the acceptance of society we would not be seeing all the hang-ups that litter this website. It's a shame that 911 happened since it would be nice to wear an Arabic robe but that would bring back painful memories - look at SkirtCafe.org and you will not see men wearing Arabic robes or thobes. They wear skirts, kilts, and dresses.

Most of society breeds on giving everything a "term" and loves nothing more than placing people in pigeon holes. I also dislike the label cross-dressing & or; CD & or; TV etc...etc but until society stops labelling people and just accepts each person as an individual these derogative terms along with there out-dated beliefs will be generally accepted - nothing changes if nothing changes.


If I were to suddenly become "normal"

What's normal to some is abnormal to others. What's your definition of "normal" Vanessa?

In answer to the OP question, no I wouldn't take a pill. Where there is ying there is also yang. I'm who I am today from experiencing everything in my life, good bad or indifferent and wouldn't want to change anything going forward.

[Joanne f]

For something that has caused me so much anguish over the years and no doubt my family you would think I would be very quick in saying Yes but somehow the answer is no I would not take a pill to stop me , I think it is the power of evolution some how force's me to do it ( well that my excuse) :D.

[LisaMallon]

Hear hear Marleena, why am I dressing like a boy?

As for complications, well life deals you some cards, sadly some of them are 2s. Could be worse, compared to what some people have to go through (illness etc).

[Vickie_CDTV]

If it would make more more attractive to GGs and I knew it would finally allow me to find an SO, yes I would take it.

[PetiteDuality]

Of course I'd take that pill!!!

Now, if they make me choose: a pill to kill all my desire to crossdress and a pill that makes me pretty and passable and don't look anymore as a lame guy in a dress... Then it would be a hard call!!!

[erickka]

A definite NO. I feel that I have the best of both worlds. I am happy with, and have come to accept that this is who I am.

[Mollyanne]

As far as taking "the pill" in order NOT to CD; NO, I WOULDN'T!!!!!! I like becoming the girl who lives inside me, the only drawback is that I should have done more to let her out. I would T O T A L L Y transition but I'm much to old now so I have to compromise and accept who I am (and I have) and (who I can't be). I LOVE becoming my alter ego. You mentioned "normal", what is normal????? I come to the conclusion that my brain is wired just a little differently, I like dressing as the girl that I should have been born but I have a male body(ugh ugh). If ever you saw me you would think that I'm a "normal" male, On the outside I am, inside I am my alter ego, I am the girl!!!!!

Molly

[Erin McShea]

At this point in my life I would have to say "No Way!". But in my teenage years, probably yes. Back then it was very confusing because to a majority of the "public" cd'ing=gay. And I am not gay(not that there is a problem with those that are).
But now I've learned to embrace it more. Even more since I have joined this site and no longer feel alone. As others have said, I believe it is a part of who I am. And I like who I am!

Erin

[April Lyn]

I wish is wasnt crossdressing at all, that I was just a real girl wearing my normal girly cloths. But aside from that option, I would'nt give it up because it would mean loosing a valued part of myself that I have come to love.

- April

[Jeanna]

Me no, ask my wife about the pill, she crossdresses all the time! lol

[Beverley Sims]

What hobbies does an ex cross dresser take up?:)

[Ally 2112]

After all the years working on overcoming the guilt and purging im at a fairly happy spot in my life (except for work) i would not give it up now ,i rather enjoy it and probally always will .Like i said to much work has gone into this to stop or wanting to stop :)

[Jenniferpl]

If it would make my life less complicated, I would take any pill. However, I am what I am. There is nothing that can change who I am except self acceptance. I would miss looking through all those women's catalogs and fantasying about wearing all those different outfits and deciding which one's would look good on me.

[BillieJoEllen]

Really the only thing I think about is that if I wasn't a TS/CDer how would my life be different? It would be greatly diiferent and I probably would be rich because I wouldn't have invested so much time and energy in my 'femme' self. Also, I would have completed my education plus a lot more.

[Vanessa5]

I would take it. Hopefully it would take the pain, shame, guilt and depression away also. Maybe there should be a pill for those that view this hobby negativly and help them be more accepting of others all around.

Sorry just a little depressed today.

[lisagurl]

i like being a cd, wish i was more than that though,,, time will tell :)

[MicheleCooper]

A pill that would make me stop looking at fem clothes, not want to buy heels, and stop looking at actresses on tv or movies wondering what shoes they matched with that outfit? A chance to stop worrying how much money I have in the bank to buy something from Torrid? Or looking for a new mastectomy bra to fit my new breasts I just got lucky enough to win on ebay for $100? And at times feeling lonely because I do not have another crossdresser to talk to or meet up with?

I couldn't do it, being Michele allows me to break away from being that guy who works 10 hours a day. Being Michele has allowed me to finally break down and cry when as a man I am supposed to be strong for the family, especially after my mom's death. Being Michele may not be the greatest way to 'get away from a man's life' but it is the most fashionable way of doing it :).

[Linda_H]

Why would I want to take that pill? I enjoy wearing my feminine things, and probably in a dress most of the time. I don't try to "pass", heck, I don't even go out the front door in a dress. (I could be arrested for "Ugly in a public place".) I enjoy my male side when it is necessary and am a proud member of the VFW and MOPH. My wife enjoys both sides of my persona. Nope, I'll leave well enough alone and just be both sides of me.

[Julie Denier]

I definitely could do without the complications that my desire to dress has caused.

[Foxglove]

I'm trying to think of a good reason why I wouldn't want to CD. So far, nothing comes to mind.

Oh, wait: then other people might like me better. But why would I want to be liked by people who hate CDing?

Is there a pill that would turn transphobes into transgender?

Annabelle

[It's occurred to me that maybe I ought to clarify something: when I said "people who hate CDing", I was thinking of those transphobes you often encounter in the comments section of some news story and who are so proud of the cute, little, bigoted remarks they make. I wasn't referring to someone who might find themselves in a relationship with a CDer. I can well understand why they might hate CDing.]

[JamieQ]

Want to be a CDer?, maybe, but I definitely NEED to be a CDer. I do not think being a CDer is as easy as saying its a choice. I do not think somone wakes up one day and decides they WANT to become a CDer. I am not implying it cannot happen that way, though. I have always said that if we humans would take care of our needs first before our wants that we would be much better off. Eventhough there are many complications of being a CDer, its still definitely worth continuing on when I can...worth every single second of it...but then again I really do want this...I want to fulfill that need I have... Amanda

[UNDERDRESSER]

In the way the world is now, then yes, I'd probably take that pill. In the world we all want, one more accepting and understanding, then very big no. Mind you, it wouldn't take a lot to change my world to that. If I had a woman by my side that accepted......

"Here hun, I picked up these new thigh highs for you, slip them on, I wan to see what they do for your legs." The rest of the world could take a long walk off a short pier.

[JamieQ]

Want to be a CDer?, maybe, but I definitely NEED to be a CDer. I do not think being a CDer is as easy as saying its a choice. I do not think somone wakes up one day and decides they WANT to become a CDer. I am not implying it cannot happen that way, though. I have always said that if we humans would take care of our needs first before our wants that we would be much better off. Eventhough there are many complications of being a CDer, its still definitely worth continuing on when I can...worth every single second of it...but then again I really do want this...I want to fulfill that need I have... Amanda

I did not quite understand the original question...Life might be easier if I could take a pill and CDing go away, but I would not take it...

[CynthiaD]

I did stop dressing for several years. I finally realized that when I gave up dressing, I also gave up the best part of myself. When I dress regularly, I'm happier, more self confident, more outgoing, more accepting of other's faults, and generally a more loving person. Why would I want to give that up?

[JC]

i would take the stop dressing pill very quickly and gladly. i think of having to run to the bedroom as my wife answers the door. i think of my wife turning around and heading out of the bedroom as she sees my putting on a bra. i think of me not being outside as i ma dressed. etc etc

My wife knows and has hsopped for me --- does she enjoy it? no

my crossdressing does not add value to our lives together. it is fun most of the time for me. sometimes i just wnat to do it and it may not be fun - just what i feel that i need / want to do.

do i wish that i could stop ---- stop it gladly.


jc

[RachelZ]

Never in a million years. Why should I have be like everyone else? Normal people are boring, and one's that seem the most normal are the craziest because they hold in all their "un-natural" impulses until it festers into madness.

[goodnhose]

I would take that pill in a heartbeat!

[Meghan]

After I got caught the first time, around the age of 12 (I had been dressing in mom's clothes for the better part of 4 years before then), I marked the date I stopped dressing and counted the days, then weeks then months, not unlike what I am sure what AA members go through.

I think I made it about 18 months before I couldn't stand it any longer. I reached for the pantyhose hanging provocatively from the shower...and I was back and feeling empowered again. Nothing, and I mean nothing on the planet, gives me the confidence a pair of hose and heels give me.

Those dark 18 months, still to this day, are the worst of my life. Those days were VERY long. I can't believe I went that long in drab.

Meghan

[ThereseW]

It's a provocative question and thank you Tatiana for asking it. There have been times when I would have taken the pill out of fear or shame or various forms of angst! But there have also been times when I have fantasized about taking the opposite - call it "the potion" - to just become female. In reality I realize that I am on a personal journey, and I am more comfortable now with the reality that CD is a part of me. Of course other parts of that reality are a wife, children and the closet, and balancing them.

[sometimes_miss]

Does anyone not want to be a crossdresser?
I'd give it up in a second if I had the choice.

[sissystephanie]

I started crossdressing at age 6, wearing my sisters panties. But I am different than most of the actual CD's on this forum. I say that because some years ago I did completely stop crossdressing for a 5 year period.I was married and we had children, and I thought it would be better if I stopped the crossdressing. After 5 years my late wife begged me to start dressing again, telling me that she missed Stephanie in her life!

I am saying these things because those of you who think you cannot stop are totally wrong. Crossdressing is now and always has been a mental thing. Yes, you may have a feminine streak in your body because most men do, but YOUR mind controls what you do. If you want to stop crossdressing you can. You just have to find other things to do with your mind than thinking about putting on frilly feminine clothes.

I dress enfemme almost every day, but if someone that I really love asked me to stop I would do so in an instant! I may not like doing that, but the love of a woman (GG) is more important to me. Both my children know that I crossdress and don't care. I also have a lady friend whom I call my girlfriend, and she knows that I crossdress but doesn't care. Of course, she is also married and lives in another country so I don't see her that often! You can accomplish many things if only you use your mind properly! So don't say that you can't stop crossdressing, because if you want to you can!!

[Jennifer W]

No, I wouldn't take it. Even though I don't want to be a female or present as one, my clothes are my clothes. I love to "feel girly" even though I don't want to be a girl. For me it is as complicated as it seems to be for most people here. I'm a man, proud to be a man, but love expressing my feminine side. No wig, make-up or dresses necessary for me. I just hapen to love soft colorful fabric against my skin! I LOVE lingerie. It doesn't have a sexual connection for me. I just love the look and feel of it. It has a calming effect on me.

[BRANDYJ]

No, I would not take it. I feel that my being a CD is partially why I am who I am today. I like me. So if i took the pill, would I still be who I am today? I don't think so. I would probably turn into a macho arrogant, ess feeling man that I never want to be. I am happy being me. Mostly very much a man that never wants to be a woman or transition. I like the choices I have between male and female.

Even my SO said she would not want me to take the pill since in might change me from the man she fell in love with.

[sierra_g]

Would a small dose of T kill our femininity?

[Frédérique]

Does anyone not want to be a crossdresser? I would not be without my cd’ing as I think it is what makes me into me. I never wanted to be a cd’er and still can’t understand why I love it so. I wonder if it is a case of I’ve tried the forbidden fruit and now can’t give it up.

No, I like being a crossdresser. If I somehow stopped “doing it,” I know that, one day, I would look back and say (to myself), “I WAS A CROSSDRESSER!!!” This may come about when I’m in the company of conformist crashing bores who detest queer anything, and then paddle off to the nearest officially sanctioned form of personal entertainment. That’s when it’ll hit you – you were (or ARE) something truly special, i.e. a non-conformist of the highest order, a chain saw ripping through the neat ranks of gender correctness, and a poison to all those who don’t have the courage to BE. Life is all about eating that forbidden fruit, if you’re truly ALIVE, that is...
:clap:

Just relax and enjoy being a MtF crossdresser, Tatiana – you’re one of the LUCKY ones... :battingeyelashes:

[Foxglove]

I am saying these things because those of you who think you cannot stop are totally wrong. Crossdressing is now and always has been a mental thing. Yes, you may have a feminine streak in your body because most men do, but YOUR mind controls what you do. If you want to stop crossdressing you can. You just have to find other things to do with your mind than thinking about putting on frilly feminine clothes. . .

So don't say that you can't stop crossdressing, because if you want to you can!!

This is true, Stephanie. You can stop if you want to. Many of us have in fact done that. I myself did it for many years. So it can be done. But at what cost? I think you'd need to weigh what you're getting against what you're paying. I've come to regret having stopped for so long. I feel it made my life much poorer.

Ask a man to stop living and behaving like a man. Ask a woman to stop living and behaving like a woman. That's what you're asking when you ask a TG person to stop being TG. But, yes, it can be done.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[ColleenA]

If it would make more more attractive to GGs and I knew it would finally allow me to find an SO, yes I would take it.
I completely agree with Vickie. I would take that pill in a heartbeat under those conditions. Please check out my story.

I’ve never had a strong sense of my masculinity, especially in terms of my sexuality. I was never into traditional “macho” things such as cars (like my dad) or sports. Instead, I was a loner who retreated into TV and comic books. And I haven’t had much success with relationships - I am painfully shy about approaching women. Recently, however, one did last about six years. Through the first five years, I actually had no desire to cross-dress, though I had done so since my teens. I now had a real woman in my life, so I didn’t have to turn to Colleen, my artificial feminine self. It made me feel good to be a man.

The problem, though, was that “D” hated physical intimacy, mainly due to sexual abuse she experienced as a child. I knew about the abuse, so I didn’t try to push hard, and she promised she would work on her responsiveness. Eventually, though, I would press for something – anything – and get nothing. Well, about once every three months, I could get a hand job – during which her disinterest was palpable. (You can understand then why I was shocked when she said to a counselor in our final year together that “he treats me like a sex slave.”)

After five years of this, I began to consider cross-dressing again to find the sexual gratification I was not getting from D. When I told her about these thoughts, she said, “Anything you want to wear is fine with me.” So Colleen came back. Since D didn’t want to be intimate with me as a man, I hoped she might be willing to get involved if I was in a feminine role – after all, she loudly professed being bisexual. No such luck. No amount of asking her to take charge of pleasuring me while I was the “bottom” elicited any more involvement than before. We had a lot of good things in our relationship, but I couldn’t stand her complete indifference to my sexual needs, and we broke up.

If the only woman I get have in my life is Colleen, so be it. She makes me more sensitive to women and women's issues and brings some other good things into my life. Even so, I hate feeling so terribly alone.

[GBJoker]

I would most likely take this "pill." Life has been hell since coming out to any one.

[Michelle123]

I can't think of anything I have ever done in my life that gives me the same amount of happiness, comfort, contentment, and just overall joy that I feel when I am dressed in womens clothes. When I am dressed, I can leave behind any little problems, worries, or stress that I may have at any particular time.
So....No. I would not give it up for any reason. Why would one give up something that can give such pleasure?