Is there anyone that makes you want to stop?

[Brittany CD]

Here's a question; is there a certain person or multiple people that just seem to make you want to stop crossdressing? I also mean this in the sense you lose any urge to even dress up.

For me, I have this female friend, who doesn't know about my crossdressing, who somehow always makes my desire to crossdress go away for a while after hanging out with her. I don't know why, but when I look at my female attire after hanging out with her, I have no desire to dress up, even if I'm in the mall and see a pair of shoes or a dress I like.

Does this happen to any of you? Any idea why this would happen?

[paulaloha]

I have 2 particular female friends that always make me feel this way. But I also have several friends that I have the exact opposite reaction to. I guess it's just one of those complicated issues in life. One of the girls that I mentioned that makes me want to stop dressing is a really good friend of mine and I value and respect her opinion so highly, I feel like she would frown upon my dressing. So I guess it's just that feeling of, "OH MY GOSH I HOPE SHE NEVER FINDS OUT" simply because she is one of the few people who's opinion I do truly care about.

The other is a girl that I have a bit of a crush on, and in my past experience, whenever I've had a girlfriend in the past my desire to dress has dropped a good bit. So I guess that is just that same thing happening again in a slightly different way. I think for me a lot of what my dressing is comes from my love of feminine things and just femininity in general. So when I have that close relationship with a girl I get my fix on the feminine from her.

Just some of my thoughts.

[Lesley_Roberta]

Only I could ever make me stop ANYthing.

[Jenny Green]

Yes.

I am married, a father, and completely in the closet.

There's a woman who's a member here and her husband's CDing and related behaviors have caused her a world of pain. She and I would PM some, and after a few back-and-forths and reading more of her posts and other stuff she wrote, it made me feel so selfish and embarrassed and guilty about this little part of my life, and it forces me to think about what it would do to my wife (and marriage and family) if she found out. So, there have been times that those real-life realizations from my "talks" with her caused me to not CD, and it was not a bad thing to have happen.

Because CDing takes me away from the things in life that are absolutely the most important to me. Yes, it's fun, fulfilling, and for some strange reason seems to be an integral part of me, but if something can jolt me out of that for even a time or two, that's a good thing in my book.

[Noemi]

Today I am thinking of stopping for a while. Not because of any person, just because I would like to cool out, I am feeling like I am not part of anything not a man not a woman.

Just want to cool out.

In the past certain people have made me want to stop dressing. These are usually very conservative people, they project their safe ways upon you. Conforming to society may work for them but not for me. I avoid these people.

And yes women can affect me too, sometimes their beauty makes me reconsider what I am doing dressing up. My rational brain takes root and says leave the panties to the women. Shit I have all this back hair, how am I going to be a girl anyway.

I hope I can cool out for a bit, no purging mind you, Cding Always. Always. returns........

[Kaz]

In the old days, yes... wife, family... kids...

These days... the only person who will make me stop is me... now do I want to? That is the bottom line question... but it leads to more (OK so it isn't really bottom line!), like why? when? etc...

The way I look at this these days is that we only have a limited time on this 'mortal coil'... every day in drab is a day lost to how I really feel... every day as Kaz is a treasure to remember...

[RileyEvans]

When I hang out with friends in the summer time I usually dont get the urge as much, but in the winter when all our work times change we dont get together as much I get the urge quite a bit.

[Cynthia Anne]

Years ago perhaps! Nowadays NO! I refuse to allow anyone in anyway dictate to me how to live! I got only one person to answer to and ''she'' lives inside me! Hugs!

[Marleena]

Katie I think your lady friend has a calming effect on you.:) In the old days new relationships with women stopped me from dressing. A new woman did it for me until until the honeymoon phase wore off. I think this is quite common.

[Tina B.]

Katie I think your lady friend has a calming effect on you.:) In the old days new relationships with women stopped me from dressing. A new woman did it for me until until the honeymoon phase wore off. I think this is quite common.

And that is why many don't tell before marriage, stopping for a new romance, seems like a cure, until the honeymoon is over.
I lose the urge, if I stay away from women, I know it's strange, but being around females, seems to bring it out in me, but remaining in a man dominated world, and it does not come up. I had no desire while in the service, and while working in a male trade, and not dating, I was fine, but let me spend time around women, and there stuff, and the craving comes rushing back like a express train. But I can't think of any one individual, that has ever had had that effect, I though about it when dad caught me as a kid, and warned me never to get caught like that again, but that didn't last that long, until I figured out , just don't get caught, and I never did again, but I still went on dressing.
Tina B.

[BRANDYJ]

Good thread. I remember clearly, that back in my teens, when I was getting sweet on a gorl or going steady with one, it made me stop any and all crossdressing. I felt the guilt thing big time. I felt like if she knew, she would not like or love me anymore. And since I was always either going steady or feeling very sweet on a new girl I was getting to know, I did not dress often in my teens. Of course this was back before I even heard the word crossdresser, and maybe ever the word transvestite.

In my later years, after a break up or a divorce, I would not feel like dressing since I would be feeling very down about those breakups. Odd, that i read where some of us dress more right after a divorce or break up. I did the opposite.

Now, I am in a very loving relationship that unfortunately has her living 1,200 miles away in Michigan having to take full guardianship of 3 granddaughters and can't leave the state with them...yet. We hope that changes. So I am living alone and can dress anytime I want. I'm sure many of you might envy that. Buit there is a part of me that just does not want to dress often or full since it was a shared thing when my SO and I were together every day. Kind of like, why bother...all dressed up and no place to go or share it with; which I had become accustom to with my SO and before her, my ex-wife. I think part of it is that I simply hate living alone. Maybe it's a carry over from my teen years. My SO is not here and I feel like I'm doing something wrong since she is not here to share. It's either that, or my being inspired to dress when I am around a loved one. Or is it partly due to a slow down of my male hormones that I think play a big part in our urges, need or desire to dress.
Clearly, there are things and people that can make us want to dress more or make us dress less.

Good post KatieGal

[Ally 2112]

Katie I think your lady friend has a calming effect on you.:) In the old days new relationships with women stopped me from dressing. A new woman did it for me until until the honeymoon phase wore off. I think this is quite common.

Had the same problem myself Marleena :)

[BRANDYJ]

Katie I think your lady friend has a calming effect on you.:) In the old days new relationships with women stopped me from dressing. A new woman did it for me until until the honeymoon phase wore off. I think this is quite common.

Marleena, I missed this when i wrote my response. I am glad to see that I was not alone with a new romance stopping me.

[Stephanie47]

Well, one woman had the opposite effect on me. When first married my wife was an extremely sexual young woman. We spent many trips to mid town Manhattan and bought sensuous lingerie for her to wear. Those were the days (1970's) when unwrapping the package, so to speak, was part of the fun. Anyway, the sensuous feeling fabrics rekindled my desire for soft nylons and satins. At times we bought floor length nighties for me to wear with stockings. After kids, that part of the romance went deep into the closet. Now, as a retiree, I love the morning news and talk shows so I can watch the women in their lovely dresses. I get the same feeling at the mall. I use to worry about hurting my wife, if she found out the extent of my feminine wardrobe. Not any longer. It is what it is.

[Jenniferpl]

It would be great is someone could make the desire go away. Perhaps I have been married too long. It seems nothing is able to hold back Jennifer. She has a strong presence and great willpower that refuses be to denied.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Interesting question. I have a friend, who I really, want to be more than a friend, she will probably be the first person I come out to. If she said, "stop it, or there's no future for us" then yes, i would try to kill it. Having never been in a serious relationship since coming to terms with the fact that I'm CD, don't know how successful I will be, for her though, would give my all in trying to stop. As a mostly fetish CD, I have to wonder if having a girl who dresses up for me will fill some of my need? I sure like the thought of her in stockings and suspenders.........

No, it's not all about sex with her, but she is such a fabulous woman/person in so many way, this all reinforces and multiplies the physical attraction I have for her.

[Jennifer W]

I would only stop for my wife. But right now she's ok with what I do. If she asked me to stop, I would.

[lauren_m]

The person that sometimes makes me want to stop is the goofy gal that occasionally looks at me through my mirror. That can be a deflating experience, especially when I've put a lot of effort into my makeup, but thankfully she doesn't seem to do any lasting damage.

[Barbara Ella]

Only one person would ever ask me to stop. Wife and I have discussed this, and she knows that there really is no stopping without consequences to the personality. She will not ask me to stop, just right now she has trouble talking about it so we don't usually.

Could I make me stop, again, most likely not.

Barbara

[NaomiHikaru]

AT this point in my life, probably only me. I'm comfortable where I am and have no desire to radically change who I am, even the crossdressing part of me.

[Emily Barton]

I had a similar 'honeymoon phase' with my girlfriend - before I started uni i had decided that I really wanted to explore my crossdressing but within my first week there I'd met her and the desires subsided for a while. They're back with force now though (and have been for a while), and sadly there's no one who seems to have this 'calming effect' on me.

There is a girl we live with who has the opposite effect on me fairly often - she's quite openly feminine a lot of the time and with it getting sunnier recently she keeps talking about her dresses and how she wants to wear them, as well as wearing all manner of pretty tank tops/skirts etc. Once there was a small group of us hanging in her room, and she decided to do a bit of tidying. This meant her essentially holding up all of her dresses as she folded them to put them away, and at one stage she held up probably my favourite one of hers and randomly said "would you like a dress?"! I read nothing into it of course, but oh how I wanted to say yes.
I spent the rest of that day pretty frustrated since I couldn't dress myself and I was envious of all the pretty things that she owned and how open she could be with it all.