It's not always about the sexual aspect of dressing!

[Marleena]

GM's are sexually driven as part of the primal instinct to procreate. When hormones are raging dressing is/was sexually motivated for many of us. Eventually for most of us this wears off and then it can change to be a way of relaxing or a need to feel right. None of us chose to be TG, it chose us.

If you look on the internet it's mostly about sex and dating. It's not always that way. Most sites about CDing use sex as a way to get people interested and generate web traffic. Many of the senior members here do not dress for sexual pleasure at all. The TS women are not even interested in the clothes for the most part except to blend in with their core gender (female). It's a journey for all us of and we arrive at different destinations for whatever reason. "One size does not fit all".

Again, this is JMO. I'm not a gender therapist.:)

*disclaimer* I'm not having a light bulb moment. This post is geared towards visitors, and new GG's who may think it's only sexually motivated.

Comments are welcome.

[JamieQ]

I agree, it is not always sexual in nature. For some of us it is relaxing and can acutally shut the sexual aspect almost down. For me a quick way to shut down libido/sexual desires is to start getting dressed in girl mode/mood. IMO Amanda

[Karren H]

I should have been a nun... For me.... It's never about sex..... I can't remember what sex is. Lol.

[Stephanie47]

I will agree. As a teenager I cross dressed with sexual motivation. As a senior member when I am en femme I really forget about the clothes. I'm pretty fast and organized, so when I make my selection of the dress for the day, I'm quickly into the slip and undergarments and heels. Then it is just plain relaxing and serenity and inner peace. Sex en femme would just be too mentally complicated.

[katie_barns]

I should have been a nun... For me.... It's never about sex..... I can't remember what sex is. Lol.

Ditto !!!

At one time in my life there may have been some sexual excitement of dressing. But that was back when I remembered what sex was. lol

Now it's just the enjoyment of being myself.

[Marleena]

I should have been a nun... For me.... It's never about sex..... I can't remember what sex is. Lol.

Lol..I can relate. This might just start a run on nun costumes. Maybe some pictures will turn up in the picture gallery.:D

[Lorileah]

Mine isn't sex. It is total narcissism. I like to be pretty. And when sex is brought up, I usually look for a way out (not always...I do still like sex it just doesn't happen very often). In my time of life, it is about me...the center of the universe, me, all about me

[katie_barns]

Mine isn't sex. It is total narcissism. I like to be pretty. And when sex is brought up, I usually look for a way out (not always...I do still like sex it just doesn't happen very often). In my time of life, it is about me...the center of the universe, me, all about me

Congratulations Lorileah you have finally made it. You must truly be a girl with that statement. LMAO


[Don't worry I'm the same way]

[Marleena]

Mine isn't sex. It is total narcissism. I like to be pretty. And when sex is brought up, I usually look for a way out (not always...I do still like sex it just doesn't happen very often). In my time of life, it is about me...the center of the universe, me, all about me

Atta girl! I like that attitude.:)

[Kate Simmons]

I don't excite myself any more these days when I dress Marleena. I do, however, seem to excite others of both sexes. Whoulda figured?:battingeyelashes::)

[Marleena]

I don't excite myself any more these days when I dress Marleena. I do, however, seem to excite others of both sexes. Whoulda figured?:battingeyelashes::)

Then you're doing it right Kate! :)

[Marilyn Beck]

For me, it's always about the sexual aspect. I can't comprehend how a non-TS person would engage in a taboo activity like crossdressing in the absence of an irresistable sexual compulsion. Nonetheless, I believe many of you are sincere when you claim it is non-sexual, I just don't get it.

[shawnsheila]

Yes,
For me it was sexual when I was in my teens ans 20's but, since my 30s, the urge to dress has increased while the sexual aspects of it have decreased dramatically. For the most part, I just like being a gal :)

[Marleena]

For me, it's always about the sexual aspect. I can't comprehend how a non-TS person would engage in a taboo activity like crossdressing in the absence of an irresistable sexual compulsion. Nonetheless, I believe many of you are sincere when you claim it is non-sexual, I just don't get it.

I'm not sure why Marilyn. I wish I had the answers for you. There was one member in particular that constantly said we only did it for sexual reasons. I didn't get her reasoning either.:)

[Cynthia Anne]

You are 100% correct! Sex is secondary! Who I am is uno! Hugs!

[Frédérique]

GM's are sexually driven as part of the primal instinct to procreate. When hormones are raging dressing is/was sexually motivated for many of us. Eventually for most of us this wears off and then it can change to be a way of relaxing or a need to feel right. None of us chose to be TG, it chose us.

“Most people have their brains between their legs. Some don’t...” (Morrissey)

The hormones have successfully raged for a long time, but please don’t feel I’m boasting – when I am away from the site I am in the clutches of HIM, and she has to ride it out. I can honestly say that my crossdressing has never been sexually motivated, in fact it calms me down to such a degree that I forget all about my male requirements – CD’ing helps me to manage the male...


If you look on the internet it's mostly about sex and dating. It's not always that way. Most sites about CDing use sex as a way to get people interested and generate web traffic. Many of the senior members here do not dress for sexual pleasure at all. The TS women are not even interested in the clothes for the most part except to blend in with their core gender (female). It's a journey for all us of and we arrive at different destinations for whatever reason. "One size does not fit all".

The sexuality angle certainly doesn’t “fit” me, in fact I am repulsed by this nagging idea that dressing up as a woman is aligned with other truly perverted practices – this makes explanation very difficult, and nobody believes me when I tell them that dressing up is much like having a relaxing cup of tea whilst wearing your favorite outfit. Changing genders by way of clothing is a sexual practice, at least by definition, but I routinely drain all the sex out of it and go my merry way...
:battingeyelashes:

[JamieQ]

I always thought I hadway too much sex drive, maybe more than other GMs, but we all probably have a bit too much for our own good sometimes. CDing for me is like hitting a switch and turning it off, then I really feel good! I don't have that nagging sex drive to distract me, but I come back into guy mode and its right back. I always thought if the sex drive was more in the background then I could concentrate on other things and perhaps life could be a bit more productive/fullfillive. I just wish Western society was more acceptive of CDing, if able to dress more feminine 24/7 I know I would be more fulfilled. Not possible for me at this present time but the periods of time when I can are so looked forward to. Some say that femenine husbands do make better mates, maybe because they are not sex driven maniacs 24/7! IMO.... Amanda

[UNDERDRESSER]

Another fascinating thread. I like that despite the fact that we come from such diverse origins, ( what started us off ) and have such a wide range of results from our CDing, we can discuss this like adults for the most part. I've come to understand more of the human condition, and my own drives and needs, from this board than anything else in my life. Thank you everyone.

[CONSUELO]

From an early age it was always strongly sexual. The sight and feel of female clothing, especially lingerie, was very arousing. Later in life it became less so and the calm enjoyment became important but the sexual aspect is still there very stongly. I have a friend who is post-op and for her the drive was simply that it felt right to live as a woman. She told me that she has the sexual drive of a barnacle, and that is probably unfair to barnacles. We cover a very broad spectrum and we should not judge others from the experience of our vantage point alone.

[NicoleScott]

Many of the senior members here do not dress for sexual pleasure at all. The TS women are not even interested in the clothes for the most part except to blend in with their core gender (female). It's a journey for all us of and we arrive at different destinations for whatever reason.

Marleena, I'm not sure what your point is, if there is one, except to say that crossdressing is not always sexual. I thought we all already knew that. But for some, it is sexual, and we already knew that, too. Sure, a TS interest in clothes is primarily to blend or express their identity, and yet this is a site (and more particularly, this MtF CD forum) about crossdressing. Not everyone here is TS; some of us are CD and for many of us it IS about the clothes.
There is a forum for discussing TS issues, but my observation is that the admins and mods allow such discussion in this forum. That's fine because they run the show. While we don't need to get into the details about the sexual aspect of crossdressing, the acknowledgement that there is a sexual aspect to crossdressing for some CD's doesn't violate forum rules, and is pertinent crossdressing discussion.
Crossdressing isn't always about gender identity, For some of us, it's just about gender presentation.

[Marleena]

Marleena, I'm not sure what your point is, if there is one, except to say that crossdressing is not always sexual. I thought we all already knew that. But for some, it is sexual, and we already knew that, too. Sure, a TS interest in clothes is primarily to blend or express their identity, and yet this is a site (and more particularly, this MtF CD forum) about crossdressing. Not everyone here is TS; some of us are CD and for many of us it IS about the clothes.
There is a forum for discussing TS issues, but my observation is that the admins and mods allow such discussion in this forum. That's fine because they run the show. While we don't need to get into the details about the sexual aspect of crossdressing, the acknowledgement that there is a sexual aspect to crossdressing for some CD's doesn't violate forum rules, and is pertinent crossdressing discussion.
Crossdressing isn't always about gender identity, For some of us, it's just about gender presentation.

Thanks Nicole there really is no point for most of the members except discussion, they know.

It is actually useful for new members, visitors, and new GG's. That was the reason for posting.

[NicoleScott]

Thanks, Marleena. I don't disagree with anything you said, but I just didn't understand why you said it. Thanks for clarifying.

[Marleena]

Thanks, Marleena. I don't disagree with anything you said, but I just didn't understand why you said it. Thanks for clarifying.

You're welcome! Sometimes there is a method to my madness. Other times not so much.:)

[Karren H]

Lol..I can relate. This might just start a run on nun costumes. Maybe some pictures will turn up in the picture gallery.:D

I'll lend you my nun costume. The nuns at the local convent made me take a vow to never return when I tried to apply for a position!

[ArleneRaquel]

At one time it was sexual with me, now it's more trying to look good and younger.

[NathalieX66]

For me , it's part, sexual, and mostly not sexual. Women are a on another plane, I want to experience being a woman the way a woman does.
PJ Harvey describes women's raw sexuality in her old song Sheela Na Gig, Nora Jones does another, but I have always liked the female esthetic and want to be it. .....don't know why, I just do.

[DianeDeBris]

I should have been a nun....
Karren - when I was a lad in a Catholic high school, a group of us boys asked the priest if it would be OK to kiss a nun. I've always wondered what he really meant by his answer: "Yes, but don't get in the habit!"

[KellyJameson]

This thread and everyones comments finally has helped deepen my understanding of men.

One of the things I have been slow to realize is how men use sex like women use words to form a bond and escape the loneliness of separation, I just assumed it was unbridled appetites. (damn I'm stupid sometimes)

I haved a friend who's girlfriend broke up with him and he says he is desperate for sex but what he wants is relief from the loneliness but to admit this would be construed as weakness not only to others but more importantly to himself. His sexual desire and need to protect his self image confuses his mind into not seeing the whole truth.

Heterosexuality implies movement toward ones opposite and by crossdressing you provide for the loneliness of not conjoining with your opposite, you become a companion to yourself.

I like this idea because it adds more layers of complexity to an already complex undertaking but I could see the dangers if it substituted real world relationships that were wanted but not acted on for a facsimile. Very interesting

[sometimes_miss]

It's not always about the sexual aspect of dressing!
Actually, I'm amazed that someone with nearly 3000 posts here is just coming to that conclusion! I kind of thought that even just looking at the titles of threads would let us all know what a varied bunch of people we are! For any reason you could possibly imagine, there's probably a CD'er that fits the description.

[LisaMallon]

Yep, strong sexual (actually to be accurate it was sensual which triggered sexuality) element in dressing when younger.

I never felt 'horny' and wanted to dress. I needed to dress, enjoyed it and then (not always immediately) started to feel aroused.
The feel, smell and look worked on me. I always felt better somehow.

Sometimes I'd have to time it. So much time to dress, so much to just enjoy it, walking around ... ok bit of time left for sexual fantasies stuff.

Now it is primarily comfort, but still with sensuality.
A nice perfume, nice stockings, dangling earrings, etc ... still feels as good as ever. Maybe better now.
Even the ultimate in sensuality ... a bra that fits and is comfortable .... all day long....lol.

I knew I was in trouble when I felt more comfortable 'dressed' than not and felt depressed having to change back.
Girls when you feel like that repeatedly .. time for a gender councillor.

Because you have now moved into the 'twilight gender zone .. do do de dah do do de dah .... do not adjust your horizontal ....".

[SallyS]

It was in my teens 'n' twenties, but at middle age, it's just about being me:)

[Beverley Sims]

The buzz was very different in my teens than it is now.
The buzz is still there tho'.:)

[Marleena]

Actually, I'm amazed that someone with nearly 3000 posts here is just coming to that conclusion!

Because I'm a slow learner?

I adressed this question earlier in the thread Lexi.:)

[danielletorresani]

I dress less and less these days, but when I do it's still totally about the sexual experience for me.

[BRANDYJ]

Karren - when I was a lad in a Catholic high school, a group of us boys asked the priest if it would be OK to kiss a nun. I've always wondered what he really meant by his answer: "Yes, but don't get in the habit!"

Then he said that the nuns were now allowed to date. The only thing was they had to wear NO NONSENSE pantyhose and CROSS YOUR HEART bras.

Sorry, could not resist.

[kimdl93]

I'm late to the discussion, but would like to add my two-bits worth. I've often felt that the sexual element of CDing is coincedentally associated with the gender identity issue. As it happens, CDing often begins at an age long, long before sexual awareness develops, but often seems to reignite during puberty. For a teen or young adult male, almost anything can be sexually stimulating, so its not surprising that many of us associated CDing with sex. But I'd suggest that the desire to dress is deeply ingrained in many of us, and would be there even without those early sexual experiences. Consider that as we mature, the associations tend to diverge. We may still find dressing sexually stimulating, but also find that dressing is an enjoyable and fullfilling expression of ourselves, without any sexual expression.

[BRANDYJ]

I really like the way you explained that point of view Kim. I think many of us feel very much the same way and agree with the root of it all starting even before we knew about either gender or sexuality issues. When I think about my earliest memories of being aware of gender differences but never dressed, it was before puberty. Once I reached that age, it became sexual with my first experience wearing anything feminine. But now it is far less then sexual.