Im Sorry but

[Lyndaloves]

There are so many posts that I have wanted so badly to jump in on and express my opposite to most opinions but have kept quiet but
I am sorry I've got to know

So crossdressing is only about the wearing of clothes of the other gender??
Kinda just impersonating a woman then.

What then is, as a male, wanting to try to look like a woman, wanting to experience things a woman may feel emotionally, physically and the wish to experience what a woman may feel during intimancy. Walking arm in arm, the hug the kiss the ,,,,,,,,,,of being with someone that you want to be with.
Have not members here also stated they would love their SO to be intimate with them when they are still dressed......does this mean they are not crossdressers too but maybe lesbians.
Everybody has their own ideas as to what extent their crossdressing will go. What they want to look like, what they want to wear, and wheather they want to be intimate with a man or woman or both, or not. This is not just a hetrosexual thing. If your idea of crossdressing is the impersonation of a woman then fine but please stop rediculing the ones that want their experiences to go farther and a little more out there than what you would do.

I keep getting the idea of this forum just being for the Stepford Wives kind of group, where everyone has to be dressed the same for the ball and at home, make cakes and cookies in their cutest dress and apron............and no opinion except if it matches everyone elses..............and no sex.
If you don't like it don't look or read it
If this upsets everyone then so be it, ban me then for not always agreeing with everyone. As was said in another thread its what I like, its about being me!!
Lynda

[Jackiefl]

I'm happy this site is for people who want to crossdress and not just another sex meat market!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[msginaadoll]

I think that there are a lot of different views on the forum. I think that people are different and it is ok to be different. I also think people using good judgement as well as good taste is important.

[Barbara Ella]

Lynda, no one is looked down for being who they are. There are all sorts of crossdressers here with a variety of interests. Certainly no one is looked down on for disagreeing. Given that, the rules of the forum are set up with guidelines. guidelines do not imply any acceptance or non acceptance of items which are outside of the guidelines, only that here they are censored, the individuals are not hated or disliked.

Never hesitate to state your opinion, i appreciate reading all sides.

Barbara

[BRANDYJ]

Did you ever hear of a time and a place for everything? Well this is not the place. I would bet that there are many members here that relate sexually to their crossdressing habits, but this is not the place to talk about it or show it. We have many wives, girlfriends and other GG's hear. We need to act and talk like ladies and gentleman out of respect of them. No different then out in public be it in a grocery store or even a bar room. Most of us respect women and choose not to offend. One of the very best functions of this site is to help GG's learn and understand about crossdressing. Their biggest fears are: Is he gay? Is he bisexual? Does he want to dress 24/7 or worse, transition into a woman. Yes, we know some are gay, some are bi and some want to dress 24/7 or transition. But we danm sure do not need to shove it in our GG's faces.
Would you want your mother or sister reading about gay and bi sex if they came here to learn about CD and other gender issues?
Now let me go help bake those cookies and cakes...somebody got an apron for me?

[UNDERDRESSER]

Lynda, i think you're kinda missing the important point, that there are many different reasons and drives behind crossdressing.

Some, I think a small percentage, feel they are in the wrong body, and for them, actual reassignment surgery is the eventual goal. Some are happy as a man, but have a "secondary" personality, sexuality, that they release when they dress, some of those, feel attracted to males when they dress, most don't. Some just want express a softer side of themselves, that is inhibited when in drab. Some ( like me ) are in it mostly for the thrill, that is, it's a fetish.

All these possibilities can be combined in endless permutations, e.g. my fetish is combined with a desire to feel sexy, beautiful, desired. Add to that the pleasure and comfort I found in feminine fabrics. It's a very complex subject and we all, to some extent, different.

[NathalieX66]

Linda,
We are all gender variants, or gender non-confomists...transgressors of the normative mentality of society.
I am much like everything you claim to be. .....it just took me a long time to figure out how to get there, and feel good about myself.
Now I woudn't trade it for anything.

[STACY B]

Ohhhhhh yea I have to agree with the rest on this one ! You dont want this site to turn into a XXX site ,,This site is more about understanding an education ,,We lightly joke around here but we are respectful of other peoples feelings on this site .They have taught me that .They have a whole bunch of the other sites just go to them an when ya need some advice just come back an ask. But as far as this site our familys are here an we dont want them thinking any more craziness about us that they already do . Thanx an hang around yull learn something I know I did . This site is PG13 ,,,LOL,,,

[AllieSF]

Lynda you have only been here a short time. What goes around eventually comes around again, and again, and then again a few more times. If you read enough posts here you will see that there are all types of people here some more interested in being straight laced ladies and others who like and try to obtain the more sexy presentation, from straight to bi to gay to bi curious. You may discuss what you want in the this general GM forum as long as it does not violate the section's rules. Some people, TG and GG alike, do not like that. They prefer that certain topics currently permitted be censored out and put in some other non-GG accessible section. That is their right to think that way, and this topic seems to resurface every so often when people refuse to accept what the Mods and Admins have clearly stated in the past, including the recent past, as to what are the parameters for each section. So be it. Until the rules are changed post what you want as long as you follow the rules of the appropriate section of the forum. We always hope that any topic discussed here will be done respectfully and maturely, the same as one would expect outside of this forum. If you don't like some comments by others, ignore them. Those comments are also permitted as long as they are on topic an respectful.

As you said, if someone does not like what they read, they can just get out of the thread and move on to something more to their liking. I do that often here. We are all adults and hopefully will be acting like adults while here. Since this is a forum you can expect to read all types of posts, agreements, praises, disagreements and, topics that may not be to your liking. Some topics are more sensitive and tend to motivate those of opposite opinions to enter into some heated discussions, which unfortunately sometimes get out of hand. That is where our wonderful and overworked Moderators and Admins step in to try to get threads back on topic. When that fails, threads are closed, and some members may be contacted to request that they keep a calm and mature presence here. When that fails, some members may get banned.

BrandyJ, I respectfully disagree with you. Could you please tell us where in the rules for this section that the referenced topics are not allowed here. If they are not allowed, then the Mods/Admins will eventually correct the situation in specific posts or threads. However, if they are allowed, then this is the place for them, contrary to your own wishes. This is a support site and these issues and topics are important for many people to try to get a handle on their own situation.

It is your opinion that these topics are "shoved in the GG's faces". It really depends on how you look at it. These topics exist in a broad spectrum of topics, most of which relate to TG activities, thought processes, issues, realities and fantasies. If these topics are kept hidden under lock and key, a GG may be unnecessarily deprived of getting the complete picture about this life style and how it may apply to their SO and their relationship. Just like an SO needs the full story about their partner's TG related activities, she also needs to read and understand all the rest, whether or not applicable to her SO. I have read here many times where a new GG was surprised by some of the topics here, but then eventually came to realize that some activities were not applicable to her TG SO. Why limit her source of information to what you and a few others here think is appropriate. She needs all the info she can get and she has to learn how to deal with it. After a few short posts here she can join the FAB section where she can communicate with other GG's who are going through or have already gone through a similar situation. I believe in gender equality in all facets, including being exposed to that which one needs to be exposed to better understand and come to a decision point if necessary. Incomplete information many times leads to erroneous understanding and faulty decisions.

[KellyJameson]

Hi Lynda

I doubt whether you are doing anything sexually that many others here on the forum are not.

I sense you feel judged in some way for your sexuality in relation to crossdressing. I hope you have not been judged because that would be incredibly hypocritical of those that have judged you.

I also hope you are not feeling guilt for your sexuality that is leaving you feeling a victim of unspoken judgement because your sexuality belongs to you and should not be apologized for.

Sex is a very powerful force and there are few places where you do not see it's power being expressed however so slightly. When unleashed it can completely dominant all other forms of expression like a fire that rages through a forest burning everything in it's path.

For many crossdressing is highly erotic and I have encounter few who do not mention it not being erotic at some point in their lives. If this was not constrained it could quickly overrun all other aspects of the forum turning the forum into a pornographic playground.

This is not good or bad, it just was not the original intent of the forum. You will meet many different kinds of people here and if you are patient I'm sure you will meet those who have very similar feelings in regards to their sexuality and crossdressing as you.

Give the forum a chance but treat it as a fine wine that must be slowly enjoyed so you are able to savor it and plumb the depths of it's riches, I think you will be rewarded if you do.

[ReineD]

Hi Lynda,

I'll tell you the same thing I tell the new GGs who join this site to learn about their husbands' CDing.

There's a wide spectrum of gender identity and cross-gender styles here among the MtF populace:


The strictly male fetishists who remove their femme clothes when they're done. Such members do not post their sexual escapades here, they know our rules.
The CDers who dress in order to fulfill certain fantasies, such as being French maids, brides, little girls, etc, and who also are familiar with our rules that prohibit graphic sexual content.
The CDers who present as men in their day-to-day lives while they wear skirts, heels, etc.
The underdressers.
The fetish and identity CDers who are closeted.
The fetish and identity CDers who go out dressed as women on a regular basis.
The bigenders or dualgenders who also go out dressed as women on a regular basis, or who prefer to dress more androgynously all the time.
The people who question whether or not they are TS.
The TSs who are struggling with how to deal with non-accepting families and bosses while they try to be true to who they are, and who also dress regularly.
The TSs who are actively working towards transition.
The TSs who have transitioned and who live stealth as women.


And in each of these groups there are people who are partnered and others who are single. There are people of all ages, from several countries, from all walks of life. Also there are people who are same-sex attracted, those who are attracted to the opposite sex, those who are bi, those who are asexual, (and those who fantasize a lot :p).

While it is true there are many people in this forum who fit into the group that you describe, I hope you will consider and respect those who are different than you. Also, while there are plenty of forums out there for people who wish to indulge in sexual fantasy, this place is a support forum. If anyone has sexual issues with which they need support, they can freely discuss these topics as long as they stay within the rules, which are outlined here:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php?faq=main_rules#faq_content

This is a large forum and we really like it when people play nicely with each other. :)

[Lyndaloves]

I seem to get this one where some others don't

•Posts or threads ridiculing other members or the manner in which they express themselves, unless they post of something immoral or illegal. This includes any complaint about the way females, males, transgendered, or any other cross-section of the membership dress, the way they express themselves (such as spelling and language skills, and any mention of religious beliefs, political preferences and affiliations, sexual preference, etc.)


I'm happy this site is for people who want to crossdress and not just another sex meat market!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I to agree that a sex meat market or XXX site stuff doesn't belong here but when someone happens to mentioned thier sexual preferences there seems to be an abundance of people that jump on them and feel his is a hetro lifestyle. Crossdressing is dressing like the opposite sex and if that person what to dress a little tarty then so be it but that's their choice and not everyone elses. We are not all alike, we share the same desire to dress but it appears to end there with most.

Lynda


I think that there are a lot of different views on the forum. I think that people are different and it is ok to be different. I also think people using good judgement as well as good taste is important.

I also agree but everyone's taste is different and if you don't agree with something I show should it be deemed in bad taste
I like fish my SO hates it, do I eat fish still, you betcha

Lynda


Lynda, no one is looked down for being who they are. There are all sorts of crossdressers here with a variety of interests. Certainly no one is looked down on for disagreeing. Given that, the rules of the forum are set up with guidelines. guidelines do not imply any acceptance or non acceptance of items which are outside of the guidelines, only that here they are censored, the individuals are not hated or disliked.

Never hesitate to state your opinion, i appreciate reading all sides.

Barbara
Thanks Barbara a link to the rules and all have been posted and should be read by newbies and reread by all

Lynda


One of the very best functions of this site is to help GG's learn and understand about crossdressing. Their biggest fears are: Is he gay? Is he bisexual? Does he want to dress 24/7 or worse, transition into a woman. Yes, we know some are gay, some are bi and some want to dress 24/7 or transition. But we danm sure do not need to shove it in our GG's faces.
Would you want your mother or sister reading about gay and bi sex if they came here to learn about CD and other gender issues?
Now let me go help bake those cookies and cakes...somebody got an apron for me?

So we should lie some more to our SO to be hopefully accepted. Isn't this supposed to be a coming out with all the truth being spilt.

[Lyndaloves]

Lynda, i think you're kinda missing the important point, that there are many different reasons and drives behind crossdressing.

Some, I think a small percentage, feel they are in the wrong body, and for them, actual reassignment surgery is the eventual goal. Some are happy as a man, but have a "secondary" personality, sexuality, that they release when they dress, some of those, feel attracted to males when they dress, most don't. Some just want express a softer side of themselves, that is inhibited when in drab. Some ( like me ) are in it mostly for the thrill, that is, it's a fetish.

All these possibilities can be combined in endless permutations, e.g. my fetish is combined with a desire to feel sexy, beautiful, desired. Add to that the pleasure and comfort I found in feminine fabrics. It's a very complex subject and we all, to some extent, different.

Oh I'm got this point and it's what I said but I think you missed mine

Lynda


Linda,
We are all gender variants, or gender non-confomists...transgressors of the normative mentality of society.
I am much like everything you claim to be. .....it just took me a long time to figure out how to get there, and feel good about myself.
Now I woudn't trade it for anything.

Linda thanks for your response. Keep going girl. I be looking for you in the furture to help answer some questions
Luvs Lynda


Ohhhhhh yea I have to agree with the rest on this one ! You dont want this site to turn into a XXX site ,,This site is more about understanding an education ,,We lightly joke around here but we are respectful of other peoples feelings on this site .They have taught me that .They have a whole bunch of the other sites just go to them an when ya need some advice just come back an ask. But as far as this site our familys are here an we dont want them thinking any more craziness about us that they already do . Thanx an hang around yull learn something I know I did . This site is PG13 ,,,LOL,,,

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm a vote for me to move on and only come back when I have my June Cleaver dress on????
A truthful education or just grades K to 6
Oh and by the way they do have sex ed at schools now


Lynda you have only been here a short time. What goes around eventually comes around again, and again, and then again a few more times. If you read enough posts here you will see that there are all types of people here some more interested in being straight laced ladies and others who like and try to obtain the more sexy presentation, from straight to bi to gay to bi curious. You may discuss what you want in the this general GM forum as long as it does not violate the section's rules. Some people, TG and GG alike, do not like that. They prefer that certain topics currently permitted be censored out and put in some other non-GG accessible section. That is their right to think that way, and this topic seems to resurface every so often when people refuse to accept what the Mods and Admins have clearly stated in the past, including the recent past, as to what are the parameters for each section. So be it. Until the rules are changed post what you want as long as you follow the rules of the appropriate section of the forum. We always hope that any topic discussed here will be done respectfully and maturely, the same as one would expect outside of this forum. If you don't like some comments by others, ignore them. Those comments are also permitted as long as they are on topic an respectful.

JUst a thank you Allie
Lynda


Hi Lynda


Sex is a very powerful force and there are few places where you do not see it's power being expressed however so slightly. When unleashed it can completely dominant all other forms of expression like a fire that rages through a forest burning everything in it's path.

For many crossdressing is highly erotic and I have encounter few who do not mention it not being erotic at some point in their lives. If this was not constrained it could quickly overrun all other aspects of the forum turning the forum into a pornographic playground.

This is not good or bad, it just was not the original intent of the forum. You will meet many different kinds of people here and if you are patient I'm sure you will meet those who have very similar feelings in regards to their sexuality and crossdressing as you.

Give the forum a chance but treat it as a fine wine that must be slowly enjoyed so you are able to savor it and plumb the depths of it's riches, I think you will be rewarded if you do.

Kelly I am not or hope I have not been miss judged but I see others being judged, tried and the chopping block being requested just because they expressed their feelings. I love the forum and everyone posts but all please remember we are all not June Cleavers.

Lynda

[c2candice]

I take this from the rules
Threads/posts containing explicit sexual content and/or pictures are not permitted, this also includes external links to other websites.

I interpret this to mean that one should not go into great (explicit) detail about their personal sex lives. Nobody wants to hear about it, and there are plenty of places out there to express those ideas. I think everybody can agree about that.

I do agree that discussion about the implications of our collective self discoveries is important. Even though cross-dressers are a small sub-set of the general population, I am amazed at how different we all are as RieneD outlined. We are all trying to look inwards and discover ourselves, our true identity. Gender identity is a big part of it, but an equal part of it is sexual identity.

Sexual identity is a little discussed part of our identities, and I for one need help to come to terms with this part of me. Equally, SO's need to understand this part of us. Being that most other CDs I have talked to continue to enjoy fulfilling and intimate relationships with their GGs, despite some fantasy while dressed. And the sooner that we are REAL about it the better. At the same time being REAL that we are all different!!

hugs,
Candice

[Lyndaloves]

Hi Lynda,


The strictly male fetishists who remove their femme clothes when they're done. Such members do not post their sexual escapades here, they know our rules.
The CDers who dress in order to fulfill certain fantasies, such as being French maids, brides, little girls, etc, and who also are familiar with our rules that prohibit graphic sexual content.
The CDers who present as men in their day-to-day lives while they wear skirts, heels, etc.
The underdressers.
The fetish and identity CDers who are closeted.
The fetish and identity CDers who go out dressed as women on a regular basis.
The bigenders or dualgenders who also go out dressed as women on a regular basis, or who prefer to dress more androgynously all the time.
The people who question whether or not they are TS.
The TSs who are struggling with how to deal with non-accepting families and bosses while they try to be true to who they are, but who also dress regularly.
The TSs who are actively working towards transition.
The TSs who have transitioned and who live stealth as women.


And in each of these groups there are people who are partnered and others who are single. There are people of all ages, from several countries, from all walks of life. Also there are people who are same-sex attracted, those who are attracted to the opposite sex, those who are bi, those who are asexual, (and those who fantasize a lot :p).

This is a large forum and we really like it when people play nicely with each other. :)

Reine thank you for your post.
I getting more and more confused about where I fit in and its not a good feeling.

Thanks Lynda


I take this from the rules
Threads/posts containing explicit sexual content and/or pictures are not permitted, this also includes external links to other websites.

I interpret this to mean that one should not go into great (explicit) detail about their personal sex lives. Nobody wants to hear about it, and there are plenty of places out there to express those ideas. I think everybody can agree about that.

I do agree that discussion about the implications of our collective self discoveries is important. Even though cross-dressers are a small sub-set of the general population, I am amazed at how different we all are as RieneD outlined. We are all trying to look inwards and discover ourselves, our true identity. Gender identity is a big part of it, but an equal part of it is sexual identity.

Sexual identity is a little discussed part of our identities, and I for one need help to come to terms with this part of me. Equally, SO's need to understand this part of us. Being that most other CDs I have talked to continue to enjoy fulfilling and intimate relationships with their GGs, despite some fantasy while dressed. And the sooner that we are REAL about it the better. At the same time being REAL that we are all different!!

hugs,
Candice

Thanks Dear
Big Hugs back Candice
Luvs
Lynda

[ReineD]

Lynda, I'm glad you agree with the following rule that you pointed out to us:


I seem to get this one where some others don't

•Posts or threads ridiculing other members or the manner in which they express themselves, unless they post of something immoral or illegal. This includes any complaint about the way females, males, transgendered, or any other cross-section of the membership dress, the way they express themselves (such as spelling and language skills, and any mention of religious beliefs, political preferences and affiliations, sexual preference, etc.)

But then you go ahead and post this:



mmmmmmmmmmmmmm a vote for me to move on and only come back when I have my June Cleaver dress on????


Please understand that a 1950s style of dress is just as valid a feminine expression as any other. So please do follow the rule that you took the time to point out to the rest of us.

Also, I've explained to you in my post #11 what this forum is (not what you think it is), and what the rules are. The rules do not prohibit discussion about any cross-gender or transsexual expression or ANY sexual preference. The rules do prohibit graphic details. Please go back and read my post if there is anything that is still not clear to you.


EDIT - Oh, and you don't have to acknowledge each and every post in your thread. Standard forum etiquette is that most people don't, unless they have a specific point to discuss about another person's post. Although it is a nice gesture, answering each post clogs up and lengthens the thread and makes it difficult to read. If you want to thank people for their posts, you can send them a PM to thank them personally.

[paulaprimo]

hi lynda,

i have to agree with you on this one. i learned early on to keep my personal opinions and sexual preferences to myself. pitty the fool who pisses off a GG or TS and gets bombarded with PM's...
i try to read most threads for informationally reasons, and some of them i want to respond too, but just don't!! i'm not looking for a battle. i respect everybodys opinion, and always try to be respectful. but not everybody thinks like me.
i still very much enjoy this forum. lots of wonderful people and i've learned an awful lot here since joining. so i guess i am now one of the "stepford wives"...
i pretty much just look for the make-up tips and enjoy the photo's that members post!! :D paula

[Rachel Flowers]

Reine, I don't think Lynda was implying that there is anything wrong with 50s clothes - they are fab, after all! - she was reiterating the impression she has gained from the site that one type of crossdresser can sometimes seem to be more highly valued here.

That type is the heterosexual, non-fetish, passable, discreet, church-going, married, suburban, 2.4 children, middle-class who also passes as her wife's dashing husband in front of the neighbours kids and congregation and most importantly, in bed. It can sometimes feel like the site is far more for reassurance of wives and girlfriends than for the psychological and emotional support of mtf crossdressers!

There are plenty of us who don't fit that stereotype, Lynda, and there are other sites this side of "meat market" where those sides of our personalities can be expressed. This place is designed to be family friendly. We're on private property so freedom of speech is not absolute.

[Kaz]

Hi Lynda,

A problem with many people interactions is that an accepted form of 'language' or 'interactive style' develops and I very much see this as the Stepford Wives issue... My experience of this site is that we are a very very diverse group, with many 'tribes' of like-minded people... I have found some amazing 'friends' here and I have also found some people who seem to be from another planet and wouldn't want to talk to!

I have also had angry 'fights' with some people who I now openly admire and totally respect, even though we may have very different views about the shape of things...

The issue I have is that we are all unique and different, but we also like to form 'tribes' even if only temporarily. As Reine has said, this is a support site and over the years this has become a 'home'... many rooms with different people in... some I want to live in, others I want to visit, some I want to stay out of...

Just chill, explore, talk positively, and you will find your room... and if you don't, then attract your 'tribe' in your own room... as long as you stay within the rules...

I don't like rules and I am a natural rule-breaker... but we need rules to protect people and maintain order. This site is the best and when I sometimes break the rules and get slapped with a wet fish, it is for the best!

And if I don't like it, I can go somewhere else...

[ReineD]

Reine, I don't think Lynda was implying that there is anything wrong with 50s clothes - they are fab, after all! - she was reiterating the impression she has gained from the site that one type of crossdresser can sometimes seem to be more highly valued here.

And I was making the point that even the best intended opinion can seem offensive to someone else, who has different motives for dressing. I felt it was important for everyone to see this. Often times members see things as a slur or a put down, when they weren't intended that way at all.

[Jessica86]

I came to the realization long ago about what you are saying. I feel the way you do on the subject. Sure, to me, there would be more of a ts twist to it if you want to have sex and be that way almost all of the time. There are different kinds of dressers though. As far as expressing an opposing opinion on this site, I have given up on that too. Even when you don't understand something, and ask again because your question wasn't answered, you are "double posting." So, I just gave up after seeing so many thread deletes when someone asks for something, doesn't get the answer they want to hear, and complains. If I try to help someone, it's all pm now. Too much drama. We really do think like women. Lol.

[Beth Wilde]

Lynda,

I am a member of several forums but love this one far more than any other, the reason being the sheer level of diversity here! We all know the fundamental basic that most CDs are straight and a lot are married but there is room here for EVERYBODY to have a voice, providing you don't go out of your way to upset people.

Since I joined (xxx ago whenever that was?) I have met a huge variety of fascinating people, learned so much about makeup, clothing and humanity in general! There are people here who are gay (me for a start), straight, bi, and everywhere between and using many many descriptions. There are people for whom CDing means anything between wearing some panties once a year all the way to 24/7 full dressing. The sheer joy of this site is that it allows us all to come together and express views, get advice and know we are not alone.

So my point (which I might have wandered away from a little) is that while some may shout louder or more often, you can be you on this forum and should be accepted even if your views clash with those of other people.

Love from an unmarried, childless, homosexual part time CD with a CDing boyfriend and a humerous outlook on life :)

[Kate Simmons]

For myself CDing has always been a vehicle I've utilized to use my freedom of expression. As far as my feelings for another person, it is not limited by gender and I will allow myself to become intimate with a person if the feelings are truly there.:)

[Beverley Sims]

Reine thank you for your post.
I getting more and more confused about where I fit in and its not a good feeling.


Lynda,
I have just read through the replies to your post and from the advice and range of people I see writing to you WITH THAT ADVICE, I feel that everyone accepts you for what you are. Basically you are you! feeling a little confused and probably uptight with all this attention.
I would print the replies out and read them over and over. Even reading some of the posts I have learned more if where I may fit in, you will find the same.
Read the posts carefully and absorb the information slowly.
You will soon get rid of the confusion.
If you see light at the end of the tunnel make sure it isn't a train.:)

[Lesley_Roberta]

My only problem with the site is the name of the site actually.

I'm not really a cross dresser.

And according to the seeming dominant attitude of the Transexual sub forum I am not one of them, because in the morning my male half being totally male is quite happy to have totally male sex with his wife that is a common hetero female that likely has yet to post in her account due to maybe not yet having the courage to speak.

I am not a single mind here, which means I seem to be two people not one, they are just stuck using the same body. So while my male half is quite alright remaining male, my female half would gladly do the operation if it was just her being affected. They though (in the transexual forum) seem to think that doesn't make me transexual enough.

I am as much a cross dresser as my wife is. She is female, and likes to wear her clothes as she sees fit. My female half is fully female and a skirt to her is just a skirt. My wife is a plus size girl and it makes shopping for clothes a challenge. I myself am in a male formed body unfortunately, and it makes shopping for clothes a real challenge. I think we are both females with a challenge to find clothes we'd like to wear. When I go out, my clothes on me (currently) are men's clothes, and frankly I see it as no different than any other female (GG) wearing men's clothes. You can say THAT is cross dressing but society couldn't care less. Society only has a beef with MEN wearing WOMEN'S clothing.

We wouldn't even have the term 'cross dresser' if society couldn't care less what articles of clothing we wore. Ever seen Greek national attire? There men are all cross dressers by definition it would seem. Japanese men wear Kimono's that are slightly different looking but hey a dress is a dress people. Scottish men where skirts. And who is going to argue with a man holding a claymore eh. Greeks, Japanese, Scots, not exactly what I would call nations with much in common.

I'm not a cross dresser and frankly don't plan to ever wear the label. I'm here only because the site is home to persons of one physical gender, that possess the opposite gender mentally (among other things). I might accept cross gender (I personally think trans gender sounds a bit to close to transexual or transvestite, which to the limited minds of persons off site might sound too much about the sex, and Rocky Horror Picture Show is likely not doing me any favours).

We are told here 'don't get hung up on the labels'. Good advice but telling ME is preaching to the choir, it needs to be said to the people out THERE that likely couldn't care what term I used, cross dresser, freak, fag, queer, homo, and any other term meant to hurt rather than identify (by the way, I don't like those terms any more than you do).

I'm not afraid to wear female clothes in public, heck I am not afraid to wear NO clothes in public. And THAT people is the true measure of whether you have any hang ups about sex. If you can't do, what everyone KNOWS you do, after all I am married, and I DO have sex with my wife, openly in front of anyone, then you have decided there is something 'wrong' with this simple human act which is only a sin in the minds of people with hang ups.

There is nothing sexual about my wanting to dress in female clothings beyond it being something that pleases me. Hell I simply can't fathom the interest in scat. That is way outside my imagination's capacity to understand. I don't truely understand bondage even though I don't actually mind it. But to inflict damaging pain? That is weird. But just wanting to wear a skirt? No that doesn't make me odd. I am a female in here, and females wear skirts. Nothing sexual about it.

But society has labels they WILL use and everyone on this is likely wearing the label 'sinner' right now without exception, to anyone of the over the top religious crowd (with the exception maybe of a few eastern religions). I know that some people would immediately start 'praying' for me if they were to meet me in a skirt, and frankly, praying for me for that reason would piss me off as much as saying I was a freak. But society can be so all encompassingly intolerant. Not just the religious, but they are just so good at being so noisy about it. And no, I am not saying sorry to anyone here of religious slant that also cross dress. I don't understand you any more than I understand homosexuals that want to remain Christian even though the core of that belief insists homosexuals are an abomination to be destroyed.

My future might see me in a skirt. Today I don't own a single article of female clothing. I might never get past wearing female panties, and frankly I might end up doing it just because they likely will fit nicer. And if found to be wearing them, I might even just laugh it off as yet another of my goofy traits and just let it be rather than make more of it than I need it to be. My future might see me never actually get the chance to dress in female attire. But it won't negatively impact my belief I'm a woman in here (in here ie between the ears, not to be mistake with 'in here' as in on this forum).

Leslie, my other half, has 35 years as a wargamer, of the board game sort of wargamer. You will NOT find another form of entertainment that requires a lawyer's grasp of the language moreso just to be played properly. I KNOW how to rip apart a turn of phrase and make it mean something else. We don't read between the lines, we read between the individual words even individual letters and punctuation. Try reading the ASL Advanced Squad Leader manual sometime for examples. Did you know, that in the game, in lower case and IN upper case are not the same context? It's that exacting.

I think the OP is really only sufffering from an honest misunderstanding of how some of us will use a term to mean something that is important to them and yet a slightly different context is involved from another's usage. The only reason for the OP to be here, is if the OP enjoys being here. The moment the OP finds being here uncomfortable, well then it is likely pointless to be here.

[Karren H]

The admin here do a great job of maintaining control... As a past moderator/jr admin on another forum I know things can and will spiral out of control. And its a lot of work to maintain this site. they do it for free... Personally you couldn't pay me enough to do that here. To me this site is entertaining at the least and at best you can learn a few things and make some friends... Not many public forums will let you talk about anything you want... Even facebook will ban your a$$ if you say F*#k too many time. Lmao. It is what it is and whining about it isn't going to do anything... Imho.

[EllieOPKS]

Expressing your opinions should be allowed but aren't totally and I understand that. Someone saying its for the good and peace of mind of the GG's that read the forum gag me, come on really? The biggest dislike I have to the forum is that it is public so all the trolls in the world - GG & GM can enjoy an exhibition. That being said, I enjoy the people and personalities that come through on this board and I've actually picked up a few friends along the way.
I have always believed that if you don't like fishing from the back of a boat then buy your own boat. Instead of starting my own forum, I'll just play by the rules of this one.

[BRANDYJ]

Someone saying its for the good and peace of mind of the GG's that read the forum gag me, come on really?

So what are you saying? That it's OK to talk explicitly about sex in the presents of women. Where I was raised and how and when I was raised, we treated women with more respect then to talk dirty around them.

Yes, I am a very sexual being, a crossdresser, yet I am still very much a gentleman. Especially in the presents of women. It's sad that I notice chivalry is dying among our younger generation now a days. Very sad.

[Frédérique]

So crossdressing is only about the wearing of clothes of the other gender??

The term “crossdressing” contains the word dressing, so it is definitely about wearing the clothes of the other gender, crossing over, as it were, to the theoretical other side. What you do when you get there is up to the individual, of course. You could skip the MtF dressing and be effeminate in all but appearance, but, in that case, you wouldn’t need to be a member of THIS discussion forum, since you wouldn’t be a crossdresser...
:straightface:


What then is, as a male, wanting to try to look like a woman, wanting to experience things a woman may feel emotionally, physically and the wish to experience what a woman may feel during intimacy. Walking arm in arm, the hug the kiss the ,,,,,,,,,,of being with someone that you want to be with.

IMHO, you can do this without dressing. However, I submit that a male who dresses as a woman already has, in place, these emotional proclivities you are referring to, and the crossdressing is merely an expression of a deeper, more hidden truth...


Have not members here also stated they would love their SO to be intimate with them when they are still dressed......does this mean they are not crossdressers too but maybe lesbians. Everybody has their own ideas as to what extent their crossdressing will go. What they want to look like, what they want to wear, and whether they want to be intimate with a man or woman or both, or not. This is not just a heterosexual thing. If your idea of crossdressing is the impersonation of a woman then fine but please stop ridiculing the ones that want their experiences to go farther and a little more out there than what you would do.

From my perspective, nearly ALL of the discussion in this section of the forum revolves around sexuality – there is endless “talk” about SO’s, homosexuality vs. heterosexuality, and the need for some sort of sexual release via the “wrong” clothes. With that in mind, it’s useful to realize that there are some people here who bypass the sexual train wrecks and head straight for some kind of personal atmosphere of pleasure. Since I don’t dress for sexual reasons, I state my case along those lines, perhaps trying to cloud the issue at hand, or maybe get crossdressing a few inches removed from the arena of sexual perversion where society has unfairly placed us...

As for this idea of being intimate with your SO (I presume you mean a female) whilst dressed, I see this as an obvious possibility, under the circumstances, but how many females would allow such an event to occur? I mean, if a SO wanted you to be a MAN, or her idea of a man, how likely is it that she will suddenly shift gears and “play” lesbian for the purposes of YOUR fantasy? I know this happens, but it seems rather far-fetched to me. If your faithful SO has any interest in this FF role play, why doesn’t she just go out and get herself a real lesbian? I mean, perhaps she wishes to express her own subsumed desires and call the shots for a change. Also, what a woman “feels” during intimacy is anyone’s guess, and she is loath to disclose her secrets – you may get close, in your mind, but you may find that you can never quite reach that far shore...

[suchacutie]

"Crossdressing" covers an immensely broad array of activities and mindsets. Regardless of which part of the spectrum any of us belongs to, the activity encompasses a huge number of issues from the mechanics of generating the illusion to the physical aspects to the psychological aspects to the emotional aspects to the sexual aspects. On top of that are the interpersonal aspects...oh the list just goes on forever!

That's a lot of ground to cover. Here, I've been impressed with the decorum with which even some of the most difficult issues can be discussed. Ok, there have been a few rants on occasion, but they have been minimal. I'm impressed by the commitment of the members here to helping ourselves and each other as we try to understand ourselves (both of our gendered selves).

I'm one of the bi-gendered folks here, where both gendered selves are very important to me. I could live in either gender for a period of time, but would not be able to lose either gender. I'm so grateful to the moderators for keeping the focus here on an informative and almost intellectual level, and almost always a civil level :)

[Lyndaloves]

Thanks to all that responded, I have heard and read all the responses and don't get me wrong I love everyones posts, pictures and adventures, and love being here.
But when someone posts a picture they are happy and proud of and gets 10 replies of which 5 or 6 of them just jump on them saying as to I would never dress like that and its disrespectful to women and all these pics say is that all women are sl##### and their post should get deleted then I have a problem with it. Respect for women, I was also raised the same and am only a few years younger than you, so I was kind of hearing .....in my days long ago we walked 10 miles to school bare foot in -30 degree temps......
From years ago I was reminded of Thumper's mom when she said............if you can't say anything nice about someone then don't say anything at ALL.
If you don't like the way someone dresses keep it to yourself or the next up and coming beauty queen that posts a picture of herself in a tiny skinny minidress may take it personally and painfully and leave altogether.
Enough said from me about this, I think my point of this thread is clear.
Luvs
Lynda

[ReineD]

But when someone posts a picture they are happy and proud of and gets 10 replies of which 5 or 6 of them just jump on them saying as to I would never dress like that and its disrespectful to women and all these pics say is that all women are sl##### and their post should get deleted then I have a problem with it.

Lynda, try looking at ALL the posts in the Gallery, with ALL of the responses. You'll find that the vast majority are positive and supportive. Please don't look at a few posts that may criticize the picture and tell yourself they form the majority of the responses on this board.

We have had discussions about "theoretical" looks, for example the "street-walker" look vs. the clothing that the majority of GGs wear in the mainstream. These discussions are more in line with a Cder's attempt at blending in and not being read. Also you need to understand that everyone has a different mental image when they engage in these discussions. It is likely that the people who object to the sl*tty look have as a mental image an extreme look that You would Not even consider wearing to go to the grocery store for example, such as these looks:

http://www.ntnews.com.au/images/uploadedfiles/editorial/pictures/2008/12/08/ball_after.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-irQVJ4NpS2c/T6Kllezrz0I/AAAAAAAAGTA/EEqxs4oYikg/s640/hook11.jpg

Also, if a CDer likes to dress this way in private and he says so when posting a picture in the Gallery, he will not get criticized since it is well understood here that in private, anything goes. But, if the CDer says he wants to go out in public looking like this (and it is not a nightclub where such clothing is more acceptable than in grocery stores), he will get comments from concerned members warning him that he will likely be read as a CDer if he does.

So it's important to put things in the proper context when you read discussions or look at comments to pictures.

[StarrOfDelite]

Lynda, try looking at ALL the posts in the Gallery, with ALL of the responses. You'll find that the vast majority are positive and supportive. Please don't look at a few posts that may criticize the picture and tell yourself they form the majority of the responses on this board.

We have had discussions about "theoretical" looks, for example the "street-walker" look vs. the clothing that the majority of GGs wear in the mainstream. These discussions are more in line with a Cder's attempt at blending in and not being read. Also you need to understand that everyone has a different mental image when they engage in these discussions. It is likely that the people who object to the sl*tty look have as a mental image an extreme look that You would Not even consider wearing to go to the grocery store for example, such as these looks:

http://www.ntnews.com.au/images/uploadedfiles/editorial/pictures/2008/12/08/ball_after.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-irQVJ4NpS2c/T6Kllezrz0I/AAAAAAAAGTA/EEqxs4oYikg/s640/hook11.jpg

Also, if a CDer likes to dress this way in private and he says so when posting a picture in the Gallery, he will not get criticized since it is well understood here that in private, anything goes. But, if the CDer says he wants to go out in public looking like this (and it is not a nightclub where such clothing is more acceptable than in grocery stores), he will get comments from concerned members warning him that he will likely be read as a CDer if he does.

So it's important to put things in the proper context when you read discussions or look at comments to pictures.

Reine,

Thanks for the great pix! Are those gender women or transgenders?

Anyway, great post, except when you say that people will tell posters don't go out that way you will get read as a CD'er, you probably in fairness should say that if a crossdresser goes to a typical suburban mall on a Saturday afternoon wearing high heels, a 1950's calf length skirt, a lacy silk blouse, hose with seams perfectly aligned in rear, and a pill-box hat she will also get read very quickly. I suspect there might be a lot more board members who are "into" that particular sort of fetish dress than the ones who want to look like streetwalkers, but a lot of them seem not to want to hear the message that this is not the way genetic women dress in 2012. Come to think of it, the last time I went to a suburban mall there were lots of people dressed like streetwalkers, the technical term for them is teenaged girls.

[ReineD]

Anyway, great post, except when you say that people will tell posters don't go out that way you will get read as a CD'er, you probably in fairness should say that if a crossdresser goes to a typical suburban mall on a Saturday afternoon wearing high heels, a 1950's calf length skirt, a lacy silk blouse, hose with seams perfectly aligned in rear, and a pill-box hat she will also get read very quickly.

Women today, in most malls in the US, do dress very casually. So yes, anyone who dresses like this:

http://cdn.glamcheck.com/fashion/files/2011/03/50s-dressing-fashion-look.jpg

will get stared at, and not because it is a sl*tty outfit. If a CDer (or a GG) wears a wedding gown, a ball gown, or a bathing suit in a mall he or she will get stared at as well. And, we all know that the longer someone stares at a CDer, the greater the chance he will get read, no matter how perfect are the wig and the makeup.

But the discussions that I think Lynda was referring to was specifically the sl*tty look vs. the non-sl*tty look. I tried to place this in context for her.

[Kaz]

Great posts that have got me thinking a lot. I am coming back to why I am here... to share, to learn and to develop... there is a time and a place to look sl*tty... and it it probably isn't in a shopping mall...? We share not only opinions but experiences, and the knowledge we have gained from those experiences and hopefully the reflection and insight from this forum that we can synthesise into who we are etc. If I go out I want to pass, if that is at all possible... to do that I need to conform to normal expectations... otherwise I will stand out and be noticed as 'different'... No problem with that if that is what we want... but if we do we need to understand the consequences...

I think Reine was 100% on target as usual!

[Kendappa]

I keep getting the idea of this forum just being for the Stepford Wives kind of group, where everyone has to be dressed the same for the ball and at home, make cakes and cookies in their cutest dress and apron............and no opinion except if it matches everyone elses..............and no sex.Lynda

That sounds wonderful! jk :)
I think crossdressing is more than just wearing clothes of the opposite gender. For each of us it takes on its own meaning. Its fun to read the variety of opinions about what is or is not crossdressing. ~K

[kimdl93]

Personally, I havefound a broad range of motivations among our members. Some may indeed dress to emulate a woman while others dress to express some innner femininity.

[EllieOPKS]

BrandyJ I agree that explicit sexual discussions are not appropriate for a public forum. My point being if the forum was private people could speak more openly and not use childish terms if commenting about sexual content. Sexual content is an inevitable component of cross dressing. Thinking a forum is an oasis for a GG who has a cross dressing family member is misleading in my opinion. If people want to be counselors there are certification and graduate programs for that.

[ReineD]

My point being if the forum was private people could speak more openly and not use childish terms if commenting about sexual content. Sexual content is an inevitable component of cross dressing.

What childish terms are you referring to? We talk about everything here, all sexual orientations including autoeroticism with or without props. If you think the term "props" is childish, you visit this forum at 1 AM when someone goes into graphic detail about the props and the ecstasy over having used them, or graphic descriptions of sex with men or women, to set off a chain reaction among other members who each contribute to the thread in greater detail with their own versions of fantasy because they're awake and alone sitting in front of the monitor thinking about sex, and which completely derails the thread and the content that the OP wanted to discuss to begin with.

And then you can also stop editing any threads at all, plus the posts in the Meeting Place from new members who are here looking for sex, and the CDers wanting to first post pics of their butts and crotches, which then invites others to post pics of their erections. After a few months this forum would have an entirely different flavor. Or do you think the term "erection" is childish too and would you prefer "hard on".

So tell me about "childish" terms, and tell me where YOU'D draw the line. If you don't like it here, there are plenty of forums out there tailored specifically for the type of posts that you might rather see.

[Sandra]

BrandyJ I agree that explicit sexual discussions are not appropriate for a public forum. My point being if the forum was private people could speak more openly and not use childish terms if commenting about sexual content. Sexual content is an inevitable component of cross dressing. .

There is private sections for this it doesn't have to be in the open forum. Most of the TG community want acceptance from Joe Public, well Joe Public reading the MtF and reading about how so and so wants this done to them by so and so, ain't gonna make the acceptance easy.

[BRANDYJ]

Bravo to both Sandra and RieneD! Very well put!

[Janet77]

Late to the party, but will add my 2 cents:
I am relatively new here and have had a few of my early posts deleted due to too-racy content. It was frustrating for me at first, but the moderators were kind enough to explain the reasons for the deletions, and I eventually got a better sense of this site's vibe. Since this board is free, it is only fair that the owners and their representatives (mods) make the rules, and they clearly don't want explicit content. I think that's reasonable. if you want to get nasty, you can always PM your favorite member and/or take it offline.

[janet54]

To this I feel what is needed is respect for every member here. No matter what. Brandy, Sandra, Reine are so right. There are rules here just follow them. I you want a meat market then just go find one.

[JulieK1980]

I think there is a fine line between talking explicitly about sex, and discussing sexuality. While explicit sex discussions are against the rules, (and rightfully so IMO) and the mods do an amazing job here at keeping this forum clean, I also see where the OP is coming from. Some members here do have a tendency to pass judgement on others. Heck I've been told outright that my marriage was going to fail because I opened up when asked about the alternative relationship I'm in. lol I highly recommend using the ignore button here, as the negativity lies in only a small handful of people. The reality is many of us come from very different backgrounds, and very different upbringings of what is appropriate and what isn't, and that is bound to cause some friction. Just try to take the negative with a grain of salt.

[Babeba]

It is entirely possible to talk about one's sex life on this board and what dressing does to detract from it or enhance it without using a lot of descriptive adjectives designed to titillate and elicit a reaction. There are quite a lot of members who manage to keep things civil and not out of control when they talk about sexual topics.

I don't think anyone is a) trying to suppress another person's identities or b) trying to put another person down for the sexual activities and orientation they hold. I just don't need a peephole into your bedroom, and you do not need one into mine. If someone were to come onto this board and give the sort of detail that a new GG member does about her relationship, and that person happened to be the GM partner of a CD, I would speak to him from the same place as I would a GG. Likewise, if a CD member talks about issues in regards to his male partner, I would also treat that the same way.


Reine, I don't think Lynda was implying that there is anything wrong with 50s clothes - they are fab, after all! - she was reiterating the impression she has gained from the site that one type of crossdresser can sometimes seem to be more highly valued here.

That type is the heterosexual, non-fetish, passable, discreet, church-going, married, suburban, 2.4 children, middle-class who also passes as her wife's dashing husband in front of the neighbours kids and congregation and most importantly, in bed. It can sometimes feel like the site is far more for reassurance of wives and girlfriends than for the psychological and emotional support of mtf crossdressers!

How do you feel more explicit sexual 'talk' on this site will help emotionally and psychologically support MTF crossdressers? Just for curiosity's sake. What need is not currently being met by your experience here? (This question isn't just for Rachel, it's for all the MTF crossdressers!)

[Miriam-J]

I finally found the time to look through this thread in earnest, and find it to be a very nice exploration of the forum's purpose. I don't know if you intended to open this whole can of worms, Lynda, but I'm glad you did. I think most of your very valid points have been debated quite well already, but let me add a little bit from my perspective.

For me, crossdressing is about the freedom to express myself in whatever appearance I'd like - despite a society that tends to enforce traditional expectations for men in this area. As Reine and others have pointed out quite effectively, there are a lot of interests represented here, and many of those interests are quite different from my own. I may not understand all the other approaches to crossdressing, and I may not even want to hang out with those expressing some of those approaches, but I feel that I have to respect their freedom.

Unfortunately, not everyone is as accommodating of everyone else's freedom and dignity, and we inevitably see that expressed here now and then. Once again we find that reality differs from what "should be". If it's particularly spiteful, the person expressing the negative views will generally be shouted down by others, but usually it's just ignored. Feel free to do the same.

Miriam

[Samantha_Smile]

There are so many posts that I have wanted so badly to jump in on and express my opposite to most opinions but have kept quiet but
I am sorry I've got to know

So crossdressing is only about the wearing of clothes of the other gender??
Kinda just impersonating a woman then.

What then is, as a male, wanting to try to look like a woman, wanting to experience things a woman may feel emotionally, physically and the wish to experience what a woman may feel during intimancy. Walking arm in arm, the hug the kiss the ,,,,,,,,,,of being with someone that you want to be with.
Have not members here also stated they would love their SO to be intimate with them when they are still dressed......does this mean they are not crossdressers too but maybe lesbians.
Everybody has their own ideas as to what extent their crossdressing will go. What they want to look like, what they want to wear, and wheather they want to be intimate with a man or woman or both, or not. This is not just a hetrosexual thing. If your idea of crossdressing is the impersonation of a woman then fine but please stop rediculing the ones that want their experiences to go farther and a little more out there than what you would do.

I keep getting the idea of this forum just being for the Stepford Wives kind of group, where everyone has to be dressed the same for the ball and at home, make cakes and cookies in their cutest dress and apron............and no opinion except if it matches everyone elses..............and no sex.
If you don't like it don't look or read it
If this upsets everyone then so be it, ban me then for not always agreeing with everyone. As was said in another thread its what I like, its about being me!!
Lynda

I know what youre getting at.
There's a strong vein of 'the collective thought' in here, I will state it like it's my opinion, but really I know that it's just what will get approval from the majority.
It could just be that the frequent posters here have the exact mentality that the rules allow, and so their voices seem loudest, but I'm skeptical, always am, about this and many other things.

Now, the stepford wives thing, again, I totally see what you mean... Again! :)
There seems to be this idea on here that because we've done our best to dress to impress, that there is no way on earth that we may even possibly become aroused.
Sure, if we do then we never post about it/go into detail about it, but even hinting seems to be deemed un-civilised.
Let me just clear something up, we CD. But were still human! And even real women speak with tongues firmly in their cheeks about their more intimate moments, so what's the difference?
Is it because we are after all on a forum, which is a little impersonal I admit, but to many this place is a life line, a sole means of communication with other CDs/TVs.
That said, a little 'tongue in cheek' should be allowed IMO, just my opinion mind.

There should be a clamp down on people directly or indirectly looking for 'dressed sex' with others on here though,
this is the one place you can fall back on when everywhere else is so focused on a fetishistic, sexually charged path in CDing.
For those of us who dont dress with a sexual motivation, this is good. We just want to feel pretty.
But don't censor the place to PG13 either.

;)

[stephygirl]

Well.. Its all up for debate. We all have our own views of women hood. Some of us have a void, which needs to be filled. As radical as having sex with another guy (or gal) while en femme. It should be case by case. To define a cross dresser has to have some sort of category.. There are some men who dress as women because they feel like they are born into the wrong body.
Some love the thrill of dressing up.
Some are just confused.
Some do it just for sexual pleasure.

The act of having sex is something that should be done with two people who are close. I give high respects who find love and feel comfortable having intimate relations with anybody. Even guys(girls) who treat it as a fetish i have respect because they share their secret. I feel like we should not critize anybody on this website.

I have not been on this forum for long but i feel like the community should be more open to other lifestyle of Crossdressing. Simply because there are alot of differnt beliefs.. I agree with you Lynda 200% you go girl

always loving
Steph

[busker]

There are so many posts that I have wanted so badly to jump in on and express my opposite to most opinions but have kept quiet but
I am sorry I've got to know

So crossdressing is only about the wearing of clothes of the other gender??
Kinda just impersonating a woman then.

What then is, as a male, wanting to try to look like a woman, wanting to experience things a woman may feel emotionally, physically and the wish to experience what a woman may feel during intimancy. Walking arm in arm, the hug the kiss the ,,,,,,,,,,of being with someone that you want to be with.
Have not members here also stated they would love their SO to be intimate with them when they are still dressed......does this mean they are not crossdressers too but maybe lesbians.
Everybody has their own ideas as to what extent their crossdressing will go. What they want to look like, what they want to wear, and wheather they want to be intimate with a man or woman or both, or not. This is not just a hetrosexual thing. If your idea of crossdressing is the impersonation of a woman then fine but please stop rediculing the ones that want their experiences to go farther and a little more out there than what you would do.

I keep getting the idea of this forum just being for the Stepford Wives kind of group, where everyone has to be dressed the same for the ball and at home, make cakes and cookies in their cutest dress and apron............and no opinion except if it matches everyone elses..............and no sex.
If you don't like it don't look or read it
If this upsets everyone then so be it, ban me then for not always agreeing with everyone. As was said in another thread its what I like, its about being me!!
Lynda

well, that is the basic definition but one that rarely seems to apply. The problem comes in when all the psychological baggage gets added in and then it turns into a whole encyclopedia of gender things. If I wore a army uniform, I would simply be imitating a person in the military without actually being one--a kind of occupational crossdresser if you will. But, once people are into "feelings", "testing the waters" and "male attraction", this practice becomes so much more than simple "Crossdressing". Most of the fetishists are pretty up-front about their reasons, but a lot of folks swirl around the edges of the tub when it comes to call what they do "crossdressing". Obviously, those that cross the line and get SRS are in a different place altogether, even if they began as crossdressers. Having sex with your wife while dressed is certainly moving out into the solar system of dressing. Married dressers flirting with other males and looking for attention is certainly moving out more towards the edge of the universe near Uranus. Some are from Venus, some are from Mars, but few are from Earth. We are all just visitors here.

[ReineD]

Now, the stepford wives thing, again, I totally see what you mean... Again! :)
There seems to be this idea on here that because we've done our best to dress to impress, that there is no way on earth that we may even possibly become aroused.
Sure, if we do then we never post about it/go into detail about it, but even hinting seems to be deemed un-civilised.

Who stops you from stating, in any post, that you become aroused by the CDing? And what makes you believe that others haven't said this? Everyone knows that a lot of CDers do this for fetish. Also, just because there are other members here who no longer become aroused by the CDing like they did when they were your age does not mean they are Stepford Wives. And guess what! It's going to happen to you too, eventually. :)



But don't censor the place to PG13 either.


Please go back and read posts #39 and #40. Here's a link: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?175275-Im-Sorry-but&p=2860176&viewfull=1#post2860176

And I'll repeat. If you don't get what this site is about and why it is different than the other sites, then just go elsewhere. No one is stopping you.

[Samantha_Smile]

Who stops you from stating, in any post, that you become aroused by the CDing? And what makes you believe that others haven't said this? Everyone knows that a lot of CDers do this for fetish. Also, just because there are other members here who no longer become aroused by the CDing like they did when they were your age does not mean they are Stepford Wives. And guess what! It's going to happen to you too, eventually. :)



Please go back and read posts #39 and #40. Here's a link: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?175275-Im-Sorry-but&p=2860176&viewfull=1#post2860176

And I'll repeat. If you don't get what this site is about and why it is different than the other sites, then just go elsewhere. No one is stopping you.

I suggest you re-read my post then and get off the defensive :)

[ReineD]

I suggest you re-read my post then and get off the defensive :)

I have, and I quoted your exact words. If you meant something different than you typed, then please correct yourself.

You were complaining about not being able to talk about the fact the CDing is sexual for you and also that this site is too "PG-13" since you can't go into any details. I said that you can talk about anything you want here as long as you stay within the rules, many others do, and the "no graphic sex" rules are in place for valid reasons and not because people don't want to hear that you are a fetish dresser or that you dress for sex.

I'm taking you up on this publicly because I want to make sure that it is clear to everyone that we don't censor when people say who they are here or what motivates them. But we do take steps to make sure this place doesn't become a soft porn site since there are so many other sites where fetish CDers can do this, and we are quite serious about maintaining this board as a support site for CDers (of all persuasions), TSs, and their families and friends, and where the majority of the topics will be about how to manage this in everyone's lives rather than be yet another titillation/thrills site.

And again, if you do not agree with where we draw the line in order to accomplish this, then I suggest that you open up your own forum, and you set up your own rules, and then see what will happen when you allow your members to talk about sex indiscriminately. LOL

Surely you've heard of the "inch and mile" adage? In my opinion this applies more to fetish CDers than it does to kids. :rolleyes:

[Beverley Sims]

Lynda,
I have just read through the replies to your post and from the advice and range of people I see writing to you WITH THAT ADVICE, I feel that everyone accepts you for what you are. Basically you are you! feeling a little confused and probably uptight with all this attention.
I would print the replies out and read them over and over. Even reading some of the posts I have learned more if where I may fit in, you will find the same.
Read the posts carefully and absorb the information slowly.
You will soon get rid of the confusion.
If you see light at the end of the tunnel make sure it isn't a train.:)

I have come back and read the posts again.
It has become a head spinning and wide ranging discussion so much as I have taken my own advice and printed it out.
I have a small room in the house that I can use to contemplate my navel and do other things.
Like superman, in the SOLITUDE of my surroundings I can read a bit take it in and then come back and read some more:)
Do not let the smiley draw you away from the worth of this post.
I think it has opened a great discussion and I will formulate a comment when I have absorbed it all.

[LeaP]

There are so many posts that I have wanted so badly to jump in on and express my opposite to most opinions but have kept quiet but
I am sorry I've got to know

So crossdressing is only about the wearing of clothes of the other gender??
Kinda just impersonating a woman then.

What then is, as a male, wanting to try to look like a woman, wanting to experience things a woman may feel emotionally, physically and the wish to experience what a woman may feel during intimancy. Walking arm in arm, the hug the kiss the ,,,,,,,,,,of being with someone that you want to be with.
Have not members here also stated they would love their SO to be intimate with them when they are still dressed......does this mean they are not crossdressers too but maybe lesbians.
Everybody has their own ideas as to what extent their crossdressing will go. What they want to look like, what they want to wear, and wheather they want to be intimate with a man or woman or both, or not. This is not just a hetrosexual thing. If your idea of crossdressing is the impersonation of a woman then fine but please stop rediculing the ones that want their experiences to go farther and a little more out there than what you would do.

I keep getting the idea of this forum just being for the Stepford Wives kind of group, where everyone has to be dressed the same for the ball and at home, make cakes and cookies in their cutest dress and apron............and no opinion except if it matches everyone elses..............and no sex.
If you don't like it don't look or read it
If this upsets everyone then so be it, ban me then for not always agreeing with everyone. As was said in another thread its what I like, its about being me!!
Lynda

No opinion except if it matches everyone else's? LOL!!!! You haven't been here very long. There are all kinds of disagreements in the forum, all of the time. Opinions are all over the map. I have had pretty strong disagreements with several people in this thread. Threads get closed all the time because tempers flare.

Discussing sexuality is different than sexual fantasy threads. Lots of people talk about crossdresser (and others) sexuality issues here. No problem. Explicit sexual content thankfully has no place here, else many of us would be gone, including me.

[manemami]

i liked your open views, cross dressing mans desire to feel gentle touch of women clothes, then further we found that even our body matches with them and we want to exhibit that, further we want to have intimacy with other body female/male and try to enhance our feelings and enjoyment. after all it is living differently, secretly and lovingly. these are my opinions i love to be human being