I told my family I am TS!

[Danika140]

I am 25 years of age and definitely mature enough to make my own decisions. However, my father is a huge source of inspiration, love and all things I consider to be the embodiment of strength. I have incredible amounts of respect for him and being that I am the last male in my family to carry on my family name, I had to talk to him first.

My father and I are both Air Force veterans who have served in multiple contingencies, so having my father know my intentions before I blind sided him was very important to me. I was a nervous wreck and mega stressed with the idea of telling him as he is that of the old school nature being born in the 60's, and having the burden of carrying on the family name was overwhelming. Unbeknownst to me, his girlfriend who I trust like my own mother had been telling him what I have been telling her. Not to be sneaky or malicious, but to prepare my father for what was to come. I only found out this last weekend when I told my father over Memorial day weekend while we were honoring our service and our fallen.

Over the last couple weeks I could tell he knew something was amiss from his awkwardness and constant looking about my room as I had several articles of female's clothes strewn about. What piqued my interest was that he never raised an eyebrow or hinted to anything being out of the ordinary. That's when I knew the time was upon us to sit down and discuss it together.

Everything was going way better than anticipated till my father hit me with an unexpected curve ball. He apologized for burdening me with carrying on the family name. He then told me that he would rather see our family die with me being happy than being miserable living for someone else since this is now going to be my 5th tour to the Middle East when I leave for Afghanistan in August. I don't know if I agree with his rationale, but I am damn happy to have such an amazing father who is willing to sacrifice so much for my happiness even now. He was most appreciate of the fact that I had approached him for his blessing before just giving him the big "eff you" and transitioning without him.

Through all this rambling, the point I am trying to make is that we seem to create an illusion of fear and uncertainty in the face of the unknown. Most people are more understanding and willing to accept us for who we are than we give them credit for. We create a fear out of our biases and perceptions that make it hard for us to truly live and feel free! After telling my father how I feel, I have almost zero fear of facing the world as I feel I should be represented!

Change is never easy, but most rewarding when the fight is seen through to the end!

[Sharon]

Congratulations, Danika! :)

[AudreyTN]

I am 25 years of age and definitely mature enough to make my own decisions. However, my father is a huge source of inspiration, love and all things I consider to be the embodiment of strength. I have incredible amounts of respect for him and being that I am the last male in my family to carry on my family name, I had to talk to him first.

My father and I are both Air Force veterans who have served in multiple contingencies, so having my father know my intentions before I blind sided him was very important to me. I was a nervous wreck and mega stressed with the idea of telling him as he is that of the old school nature being born in the 60's, and having the burden of carrying on the family name was overwhelming. Unbeknownst to me, his girlfriend who I trust like my own mother had been telling him what I have been telling her. Not to be sneaky or malicious, but to prepare my father for what was to come. I only found out this last weekend when I told my father over Memorial day weekend while we were honoring our service and our fallen.

Over the last couple weeks I could tell he knew something was amiss from his awkwardness and constant looking about my room as I had several articles of female's clothes strewn about. What piqued my interest was that he never raised an eyebrow or hinted to anything being out of the ordinary. That's when I knew the time was upon us to sit down and discuss it together.

Everything was going way better than anticipated till my father hit me with an unexpected curve ball. He apologized for burdening me with carrying on the family name. He then told me that he would rather see our family die with me being happy than being miserable living for someone else since this is now going to be my 5th tour to the Middle East when I leave for Afghanistan in August. I don't know if I agree with his rationale, but I am damn happy to have such an amazing father who is willing to sacrifice so much for my happiness even now. He was most appreciate of the fact that I had approached him for his blessing before just giving him the big "eff you" and transitioning without him.

Through all this rambling, the point I am trying to make is that we seem to create an illusion of fear and uncertainty in the face of the unknown. Most people are more understanding and willing to accept us for who we are than we give them credit for. We create a fear out of our biases and perceptions that make it hard for us to truly live and feel free! After telling my father how I feel, I have almost zero fear of facing the world as I feel I should be represented!

Change is never easy, but most rewarding when the fight is seen through to the end!

your dad cares more about your happiness than a structure of assembled letters that combines to make a family name, that's his rational, and I applaud your father for his unselfish thought process.

Congrats and good luck!

Totally agree with your last statement, sometimes we just work ourselves us into a big frenzy of what if, omg someone says this about me or posts this on the internet, or doesn't talk to me anymore, and you talk yourself right out of talking to that person, because you're too worried about something that hasn't even happened yet, instead of just taking a deep breath, and going for it. I wanted to transition on my own, away from my family because I initially thought the same thing, but I'm glad I didn't, because my dad was understanding and accepting too.

[arbon]

From what you have written I think you have incredible father :) It is so nice to read a positive post about coming out to parents.

[AllieSF]

Congratulations Danika. I do hope that you get in some nice trout fishing in those small streams in the UP before you leave. Thanks for your duty to the country, and come back safe and sound to continue your journey.

[ReineD]

We create a fear out of our biases and perceptions that make it hard for us to truly live and feel free! After telling my father how I feel, I have almost zero fear of facing the world as I feel I should be represented!

Change is never easy, but most rewarding when the fight is seen through to the end!

Wow, you already are, and are going to be an amazing woman after your transition. And your father is an amazing man.

:hugs:

[MC-lite]

@Danika: I hope everything stays well for you. I too served in the Air Force (many years ago), but I stayed stateside. (Do the short-timers still shout "NOBODY'S IN THE AIR FORCE !!!")

Just a thought, to put your father at ease. You could bank your sperm so that you could continue your lineage later if you so choose.

Best,
:Miki.

[mikiSJ]

Seriously, I second Michaela's suggestion about banking your sperm.

Just think, you could be the mother of the child you fathered.

There is nothing worse than being on an aircraft carrier at sea for 6 months and nothing to do but wait to get back to San Diego.

[Kathryn Martin]

Most people are more understanding and willing to accept us for who we are than we give them credit for. We create a fear out of our biases and perceptions that make it hard for us to truly live and feel free! After telling my father how I feel, I have almost zero fear of facing the world as I feel I should be represented!

Change is never easy, but most rewarding when the fight is seen through to the end!

You are to be congratulated not only for your good father but also for your courage and fortitude. I wish you nothing but the best.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Fantastic news Danika!

[LeaP]

Danika, you have a terrific attitude and evidently it comes in part from a wonderful family. Congratulations.

[Bunny Girl Zoe]

Congrats on making the step.

[Danika140]

Thank you everyone for the great support and advice! To be honest, I had not considered freezing my sperm but will definitely look into it now.

[STACY B]

Finaly FREE ,,,An Ill bet it feels good to ?? You are an insperation to all ..

[Danika140]

Thank you Stacy! For my ripe young age, I have seen many horrors and hell. I try to live my life to maximize every experience whether it be as a male or female. When it's our time to meet our maker, only we can say if we made ourselves happy. I draw strength, confidence, encouragement etc...from those closest to me, but by no means are they my source of happiness! I realized early on that to be truly happy, I may have to go against "society's rules" to truly express myself. I can tell you first hand that I have experimented in Germany, Tampa and now Iron River, Michigan and it's far more safe than not. Very very very people have questioned my painted nails or wardrobe and when I give them the reason why, they accept it and move on.

Not everyone will agree to what and who we are but that's the truth should we be a normal, straight & functioning male! I am calling out those who read this post, challenge yourself and step beyond your comfort levels! You will grow from the experience whether it be good or bad. Have the strength to persevere and the rewards will be plentiful!

After falling in love with tight jeans and blouses, I will not go back to male clothes. If I can do it, anyone can. It just comes down to your own individual strength and wants. Remember, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission" - Eleanor Roosevelt (SP?) so LIVE!!!! People will remember you for who you truly are so be true to yourself and be a source of knowledge, strength and understanding!

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Danika congratulations on youre news