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View Full Version : New York and the truth



Simply Joslyn
05-30-2012, 02:06 AM
Well I had quite the weekend to be sure, essentially it started out with the rest of my family going to Maine, jackpot, I took this chance to stay all dressed up all weekend and it was wonderful plus on Monday I went to New York city with a fellow crossdresser I had met on this site. It was so relieving and for once I felt comfortable just to be me, sure we got some bad comments and looks, but we also got some good ones. We ended up going everywhere, started in Union Square where I ended up getting dressed in a Forever 21, so nerve wracking and next time I'm getting dressed before I enter the city. We took the subway to times square and there I got samples of makeup from Sephora I believe. It was great being able to go into one of those stores with no worries. Little later we went to Dave and Busters and played in they're arcade only problem there was trying to cross my legs while sitting on those stools. We ended up riding the subway maybe five times interesting place only problem there was standing, my height plus heels and the wobbly trains made me end up shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. Saw Men in Black 3 as well, it was nice to have those heels off in the dark and received some nice suggestions and comments from a gg while leaving. As the night began to set in we boarded the Staten Island ferry, oh how great that was, the wind the city lights, not to mention the simple joy of being out on the water. As we returned back to the city the night life had begun, normal stores were closed and replaced by bars, clubs, and late night grocery stores hehe. We ended up getting into this small club, not bad if I might say, I'm too young to drink but the live music was food for the soul and they're quesidia wasn't half bad either. After there we essentially wandered around talking, and I love having someone close that I can actually talk to about this. And one thing in particular stuck out my friend told me it was good for it to not just feel like a costume, for me it felt more like what should be but I understand it, I've never felt so comfortable or free to walk around, done up or not. And so around 3 am we had to part ways, and I had to head back to Hoboken to get home, all was fine and I didn't even change back it would have ruined the moment anyway.
Sadly something did ruin the moment, upon arriving back to the van I discovered all 4 of my tires were slashed, I was done. I had not notified my parents that I would be in New York and it was my fathers van, before he left I told him I would be using but not like that. Tack onto that the fact that the house was a mess and all my clothes were laying around, not a good situation. There wasn't much could be done, I called my older sister to pick me up and she told my parents for the best I suppose, I don't want to get into detail what followed but it wasn't good. After everything was said and done everyone calmed down and we worked things out even though my parents were still very angry with me.
After the van was towed to pep boys they said it would be ready tomorrow so my sister took me back to New Brunswick to wait for my dad to pick me up. He came and well he asked questions, and for once I answered them truthfully, it was time. They wanted to know where my moms purse was, I said I had it, it was an old one after all and it was just filled with junk but it was junk I felt on the couch. He asked if I'd been shaving my legs I said yes, he asked if I dress in womans clothing sometimes, I said yes but its more than that, and so he asked if I was gay, I told him no and I kinda wanted to get into the gender and sex are separate things but now wasn't the time. So he asked if I wished I was a woman, and I told him it isn't really something you wish for its something in your head that says your body isn't right. He asked some more questions along the same line, but it was essentially all out there, and well I wouldn't say it was nice, or that I was relieved, it was pretty awkward though, but atleast now I can keep my family and go see a therapist without worry. He'll be talking to my mom about it because for now one of these conversations was enough for me, but he told me it doesn't matter what I do he still loves me and and wants me to do what I think is right, I love my dad hes always been there for me, I'm not sure why I never wanted to let him know, I guess I was afraid he would just toss me to the wolfs.

I'm sorry this got so long, but there you have it the full story. I guess it just goes to show you every cloud has a silver lining, and I wish anyone in a similar family situation the best of luck, and hopefully it won't have to work out the way mine did.
-Jos

Maria in heels
05-30-2012, 10:18 PM
Joslyn....I am SO SORRY to hear that your wonderful night was ruined by some idiot who thought it would be funny to slash the tires. That in turn brought about the issue with your family, but it sounds like you dad was trying to find out more, and is trying to work thru things without exploding. I don't know how he normally reacts, but to me, it sounds like a good sign that he was willing to ask questions instead of just yell and scream or insult.

I hope that all has settled down right now, and that you are feeling better....if you need something, we are all here to help

Stephenie S
05-31-2012, 12:38 AM
Listen Joslyn, sorry about the car, but I would NEVER drive my car into NYC. Public transportation is so good now and parking is SO hard and dangerous. I am not surprised at all that your car was vandalized. It happens a lot. Leave the car in Jersey City, Staten Island, Brooklyn, or even CT, and take public transportation into the city. And leave the heels at home. NYC takes a LOT of walking.

Stephie

Simply Joslyn
05-31-2012, 12:39 AM
Joslyn....I am SO SORRY to hear that your wonderful night was ruined by some idiot who thought it would be funny to slash the tires. That in turn brought about the issue with your family, but it sounds like you dad was trying to find out more, and is trying to work thru things without exploding. I don't know how he normally reacts, but to me, it sounds like a good sign that he was willing to ask questions instead of just yell and scream or insult.

I hope that all has settled down right now, and that you are feeling better....if you need something, we are all here to help

Thank you, yeah my father has always been the calm one around here, not that he doesn't know how to yell, but my mother does enough yelling for the whole town, not that shes that bad of a person, we have a bad past, but she was ok with it. Its strange today I feel not relieved more like I have less weight, like there were chains before and now they're gone, I can't say I feel much better than usual, but I guess its the feeling that now I can start to live as I please instead of fearing them knowing. And above it all they'll be letting me see a therapist and I can start to begin hrt hopefully. Thank you though I was a little worried that I might not be so accepted around here, I know its probably just in my head, though every time I seem to post it looks like I just held up a stop sign in the middle of a freeway, so it helps alot to know there are people here for me.

ReineD
05-31-2012, 02:29 AM
but he told me it doesn't matter what I do he still loves me and and wants me to do what I think is right, I love my dad hes always been there for me, I'm not sure why I never wanted to let him know, I guess I was afraid he would just toss me to the wolfs.

And this says it all.

You'll be OK. :hugs:

Dawna Ellen Bays
05-31-2012, 06:01 AM
though every time I seem to post it looks like I just held up a stop sign in the middle of a freeway, so it helps alot to know there are people here for me.

I get the same feeling whenever I post on ANY forum, not just THIS one. It's "all in our heads" for the most part. I know a guy at a board I frequent whose tagline is "This post is INVISIBLE! It also has the power to KILL THREADS!" :heehee:

Julia_in_Pa
05-31-2012, 06:57 AM
Sorry to here about the van.

Allentown is 90 miles west of NYC so we take a commuter bus in then take public transportation from that point.
Wonderful father you have there.
Be sure to honor him not just on Fathers Day but everyday.


Julia

BRANDYJ
05-31-2012, 07:07 AM
Ditto to what Reine quoted from your story. The rotten part was what happened to your dad's van. The good part is that you don't have to hide this from your mom and dad any longer. That alone makes it worth it. Your dad has to be a great guy. I bet your mom is just as loving. I wish you well. Thanks for sharing.

Kaitlyn Michele
05-31-2012, 07:49 AM
I'm with Reine...

In journalism its called burying the lede...that's when you put the important part as a sentence in the 8th paragraph so you can spin the story away to your own point of view...

in your case the lede is

he told me it doesn't matter what I do he still loves me and and wants me to do what I think is right, I love my dad hes always been there for me, I'm not sure why I never wanted to let him know, I guess I was afraid he would just toss me to the wolfs.

This is really really fantastic and I hope he continues to support you even if just by letting you know he loves you no matter what...that's what its all about...

Traci Elizabeth
05-31-2012, 09:25 AM
It sounds to me like the absolute best part of your adventure was you being with your father and telling him the truth. All your other actions that night are long gone but your father/family now knowing is a life-long gift you should treasure.

Antoinette
05-31-2012, 11:15 AM
It all turned out well for you in the end. I'm happy for you. What an eventful day it was and a huge step too in your life. I'm glad to have been able to share with you your first experience out, especially throughout the city. And I'm happy it gave you enough confidence to talk to your dad about it. Hrt is a big step but I definitely wish you the best in the process (v^-^). Like I've said before I consider you a friend and I hope to share many more experiences

kimdl93
05-31-2012, 01:00 PM
wow, what a weekend. I'm glad you had a good time in NY, but also glad that the unfortunate episode with the van helped open up a conversation with your father. Next time, tell the truth about where you're going....that probably caused more worry than anything else!

Your dad sounds like a really great guy. You're clearly fortunate to have his love and support.

CONSUELO
05-31-2012, 01:23 PM
It must have felt very scary and traumatic. While it is good that your cross dressing is now out in the open, being outed in this uncontrollable way must have been very difficult. At the end of the day it is the truth that matters and your family and friends will learn to live with what you are. I think that in a few months from now you will look back and feel a sense of relief. I wish you all the best and hope that your family continues to support you.

Lori B
05-31-2012, 06:20 PM
oh Joslyn...so sorry to hear that...everything will work out ,,,hang in there....oh,,where was the van parked,at the train station?