does it make you gay?

[priyaverma]

one gay friend of mine came to know abt my crossdressing and all he wants to judge about is that I am a gay according to him .... as I love crossdressing ...

and I think of having sex while dressing as a female and am gettting a sexual pleasure out of it ......
:devil::D:tongueout

is this true ?
i dont think if u r a crossdresser u ought to be gay or a transgender ..?

[whowhatwhen]

There is no "ought to be gay", if you're attracted to the same sex then you're gay.
If you're attracted to both sexes, you're bi, and if you're only attracted to the opposite sex then you're straight.

There is no choice here, crossdressing doesn't change your orientation.
Though, the other answer is yes, if you're a crossdresser then you're transgender.

[NathalieX66]

Gay guys like men.
Maybe crossdressers or transgender women might seem like an exotic thrill, they're just simply called "tranny-chasers", theres no shortage of them, but the reality is gay guys are squarely focused on male in any form. From my measly personal observation, most gay guys seem to direct their attention to guys, stuff that looks muscular, not people dressed as women.
Pansexual is a unique breed.

[Bree-asaurus]

one gay friend of mine came to know abt my crossdressing and all he wants to judge about is that I am a gay according to him .... as I love crossdressing ...

and I think of having sex while dressing as a female and am gettting a sexual pleasure out of it ......
:devil::D:tongueout

is this true ?
i dont think if u r a crossdresser u ought to be gay or a transgender ..?

If you're cross dressing you are transgender.

If you're thinking about having sex with a man and you are a man pretending to be a woman... you're gay or bi (at the least, bi-curious).

Very simple. Read the definitions lol.

[Rebecca Star]

one gay friend of mine came to know abt my crossdressing and all he wants to judge about is that I am a gay according to him

Some people believe in the strangest things.
I've heard some gay guys say, all CD's are gay/bi in denial. Which while this may be true for some people, it's not true for everyone.

Personally, if this guy is a true friend he'll respect your choices and not keep harping on about this rot.

[Bree-asaurus]

Personally, if this guy is a true friend he'll respect your choices and not keep harping on about this rot.

Not only that, but also realizing that they are not choices at all... but simply part of who you are. The only choice is the choice to be yourself or pretend to be someone your not.

[priyaverma]

darling this guy used to flirt with me being my friend ... but he is much more himself a transgender ... and i am all into girls .... and even have a sweet gf that I love the most ....

[NathalieX66]

I've heard some gay guys say, all CD's are gay/bi in denial. Which while this may be true for some people, it's not true for everyone.

Sometimes I want to be a woman, I like the feminine esthetic so much that I want to be it. That doesn't mean I want to jump in the hay with the next young buck I see.
My gay friends don't even get me. Therefore, there are times I wish I was just simply a gay dude instead of being a cd/tg that likes women......it would cut down my expenses on clothes, shoes, makeup and hair removal.

[Marleena]

and I think of having sex while dressing as a female and am gettting a sexual pleasure out of it ......
:devil::D:tongueout


Oh so your friend said this not you..

He's using stereotypes that people use all the time. Crossdressing did not make me Bi or gay. However it makes some have Bi fantasies.:)

[Bree-asaurus]

darling this guy used to flirt with me being my friend ... but he is much more himself a transgender ... and i am all into girls .... and even have a sweet gf that I love the most ....

Ah. I didn't realize that you were talking about someone else's misinformed opinion of you is what you were talking about. I thought you were just being contradictory while describing yourself. I understand now.

As for the transgender thing... it's a VERY big umbrella term that basically means ANYONE who doesn't fit the societal norms of the binary gender roles we have created. I personally think it's odd that we lump cross dressers in with people who actually identify partly or entirely as the opposite sex... but whatever lol...

I guess if the straightest, most macho, manly guy was named Sally by his (obviously insane and malicious) parents, he would be transgender as well... :D

[sissystephanie]

You are only "Gay" if you want to be! If you are a male and like to have sex with other males, than you are gay or whatever! I am a male who loves to crossdress, but I have no desire to be a woman in any way and certainly not sexually!

Bree, if a man was named Sally, that would not automatically make him a transgender! And he would probably go by the name of Sal!! Cross dressers are transgender because they wear the clothing of the opposite sex. That applies however far the CD goes with being the opposite sex!

[Bree-asaurus]

Bree, if a man was named Sally, that would not automatically make him a transgender! And he would probably go by the name of Sal!! Cross dressers are transgender because they wear the clothing of the opposite sex. That applies however far the CD goes with being the opposite sex!

I was making light of how all-encompasing the term 'transgender' is... it was a joke...

[Marleena]

Oh.. I should add that some crossdressers are gay but are in the minority so your friend is incorrect. The act of crossdressing doesn't make you gay, as we all know.

[Vanessa5]

Being a crossdresser doesn't make one gay. Some may be, but others not. I am only into women-more to the point my wife. Never wanted or desired to be with a man.

[nvlady]

If all crossdressers must be gay, then all gay men want to be women, therefore all gay men must be crossdressers. Right?

[NathalieX66]

No, start from the beginning.

[whowhatwhen]

You are only "Gay" if you want to be!

Did you hear that?
It's the entire LGBT community disagreeing with you.

I have no idea why it's so hard for straight people to get that sexual orientation is not a choice.

[Lyndaloves]

If a crossdresser dresses as a woman but has no interest in a male relationship he is straight.
He may have gay fantasies but unless acted upon he is still straight.
If he experiments with a male partner and finds its not really his cup of tea then IMO he be Bi curious.
If he wants a male or female partners then he'd be Bi.
And if he only wanted a male partner he would be gay.

Lynda

[docrobbysherry]

Here's a question for your gay friend, Priya.

He assumes you're gay because u dress up. If that were true and he's gay, why doesn't HE dress up in women's things, then?

Sounds a lot like he's hoping to turn u!

[Lesley_Roberta]

Gay? Hell no I'm downright miserable.

What? oh it's just someone being uneducated and/or biased. Now I got ya.

Remember people, being wrong and/or stupid is not limited to boring normal straights. Everyone gets a chance to qualify :)

[KellyJameson]

He is trying to seduce you by convincing you that you are gay.

This is not a friend!

Most who crossdress are heterosexual.

[NaomiHikaru]

I would have to say be happy with yourself and try not to put too much weight on what others think of you. For me personally I was very afraid of what people would think of me if they ever found out i liked to wear women's clothing. However, after telling my best friend, a GG, and then a gay friend, both were more than willing to accept me for who I was and I stopped caring about what other people would say.

And yes crossdressers tend to be lumped into the whole LGBT umbrella, but at the same time we all have our own definitions. We are "individuals" and yet people tend to classify every one into categories. Groups that we form ourselves are fine it just these so called "social norms/classifications" that I tend to have a problem with, but that me :)

Again, be yourself and try not to think too much about what others may think.

[ReineD]

one gay friend of mine came to know abt my crossdressing and all he wants to judge about is that I am a gay according to him .... as I love crossdressing ...

and I think of having sex while dressing as a female and am gettting a sexual pleasure out of it ......
:devil::D:tongueout

is this true ?
i dont think if u r a crossdresser u ought to be gay or a transgender ..?

Welcome, priyaverma. :)

Gender identity is separate from sexual attraction. There are male crossdressers and transsexuals, and non-crossdressing men who are attracted to only women, only men, both, or nobody (asexuals).

You will know if your attraction to men is more than a wish to enhance your feminine feelings, once you actually go out there and try it. If the experience of being one half of two male-bodied individuals having sex is pleasant to you, then you will know that you are same-sex attracted. If you are also attracted to women, then you will know that you are bi.

Oh, and 'transgender' is an umbrella term that applies to a wide variety of individuals who express cross-gender feelings, including crossdressers and transsexuals.

Edit - As to being bi-curious, honestly I wouldn't be able to stand not knowing. lol. I'd go out there and try it to see how it fit, and then I'd have my answer. I suppose there are those who like to fantasize and who don't want to try it, but then I guess the answer for these individuals is they are not bi, they just enjoy the fantasy. It's a subtle difference, but an important one.

[docrobbysherry]

Welcome, priyaverma. :)-----------------------------
Edit - As to being bi-curious, honestly I wouldn't be able to stand not knowing. lol. I'd go out there and try it to see how it fit, and then I'd have my answer. I suppose there are those who like to fantasize and who don't want to try it, but then I guess the answer for these individuals is they are not bi, they just enjoy the fantasy. It's a subtle difference, but an important one.

Excellent advice, Reine! Which is why I came up with the "Doc's toe test". It works on all sexes, genders, and individuals for ME! Here it is:

I'm NOT a foot person! However, when I'm excited about a person, toe kissing WOULD be acceptable! To find out if I'm REALLY attracted to someone, I only have imagine us kissing, etc. each other's toes! If I'm good with that, alrite, move ahead! If not? I'm OUT! As yet, I've never seen a male that has passed this test! And, these days, most of my GG dates don't! Sigh!

Priya, or ANYONE, u can take this test yourself. And, not have to physically try someone in bed to know u aren't into them! Pick some other body part that u find icky if you're a foot person and imagine that instead!
You're welcome!

[Kate Simmons]

The clothes only serve to facilitate bringing out the feelings that are already inside Hon.:)

[Jessica Who]

Gender identity and sexuality are two separate entities :) .. I believe that transgender is an umbrella term that includes all gender variant peoples :)

[Roberta Marie]

Yes, there is a disconnect between sexual orientation and gender identity. But, when you're dealing with the transgender community, the whole sexual orientation labeling system gets a bit fuzzy. I have talked to mtf crossdressers who like to have sex with men only when they're en femme. They do not consider themselves gay. I know mtf non-op transexuals that consider themselves women in every way, but with a little birth defect between their legs, who have sex only with men. They do not consider themselves gay. Likewise, many of their partners do not consider themselves gay.

I have a GW friend, Lucy, who after much turmoil with her family and religion, came out as a lesbian in her early 20s. It was as difficult for her to come to terms with her sexual orientation as it is for many of us to come to terms with our gender identity. But when she did finally come to terms, she became quite the activist, and was quite proud to call herself a lesbian. Twenty years later, her partner of 15 years started to come to terms with being a transman. Lucy and Diane had been in a committed lesbian relationship, and were very much in love. But now, Diane was, after much turmoil, transitioning to Dave. This left Lucy questioning her own sexuality all over again. Everyone in her life knew her as a lesbian, but now she was going to be with a man. They're making plans to get legally married, something that the law had previously denied them. She loves Dave very deeply, understanding that Dave is the same person that she knew as Diane. But she asked me the question, "So what am I now? Am I still a lesbian, which has been such a major part of who I am?"

"Lucy," I responded. "You're a Davian! You love Dave. That's all that is important."

As the song says, "Love the one you're with." If you are attracted to someone, that's between you and the other person. If you love someone, that's between you and that other person. Act on your feelings for that person, not what society calls it.

[Roberta Marie]

Sounds a lot like he's hoping to turn u!

Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not "catchy". Someone does not become gay. You cannot be "turned" gay.

Just like being transgendered, no matter where you are on the spectrum, is not a choice. You can not catch being transgendered. You do not become transgendered. A gay person can not turn a straight person gay any more than a transgendered person can turn a straight person trans.

[Kaz]

Those that know me know that I have a problem with the labels in our community, but some are pretty straightforward. Gay means that you are sexually attracted to the same sex. I have fantasies about being female and having sex with guys - I would love to know and experience what that is like. At times when I have got Kaz 'in my head' I kind of know what sort of guys 'she' finds attractive... sadly they tend to be the guys 'I' get on well with! Does this make me gay? I have no desire whatsoever to have sex with another guy - it just doesn't work for me... women? Totally different ballgame! So I am quite clear about my sexual orientation. But my gender issues will always lead me to what it must be like to really be a woman... amazing! At times I so wish I was... in every facet of the experience!

Now Priya, to your gay friend... being a CD doesn't mean you are gay anymore than being gay means you are a CD... we are all who we are and life is complex. The best thing to do is figure out who you are. That is a lifetime's journey of not letting people put you in a box that you can't see out of! Once you are in that prison you stop learning and self-discovery.

[BRANDYJ]

If you think about it, it makes no sense at all. A gay man is attracted to men and men ONLY. So if a gay man wants to attract another gay man, I don't think he'd be presenting as a female. It would not be a turn on for most gay men... I would think.
As for the so called tranny chasers....I think most are closeted gays or at least bisexual. They are not comfortable with the gay label or even the Bi label. So in their head, it's OK if they have sex with a man that presents as a woman. To them, it's not gay since "he" looks and acts like a woman. Just about the same way a crossdresser might think it's not gay since they are presenting as a female.

Put that aside, if you are not sexually attracted to men, then you are not gay. If you are attracted to women, then you are hetero. This regardless of what you are wearing.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Why do you care if it makes you gay or not??
Cross dressing falls under the umbrella term " transgender ".
Perhaps you were thinking of the term " Transsexual " that is a completely different world and does not fall under the term " transgender ".

If your gay your gay.
If your a man who dresses in women's clothing then your a cross dresser.
Whereas both are not mutually exclusive both are very different.

Enjoy whatever habits make you gay, straight or a man in a dress.


Julia

[CandyG]

The only thing that 'makes you gay' is an attraction to men. Clothing and the freedom to express ourselves through fashion has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Nothing can 'make you gay'. Besides, so what? It seems your friend needs validation for something in his own life.

[Jenniferathome]

Crossdressing doesn't "make" you gay. Genetics make you gay. Dressing as a woman and having sex with a man does not make you straight, in fact it confirms you are gay or at least bi.

[joannemarie barker]

Well I think it's just a coincidence that I dress and like guys,when I was young the dressing came first,wasn't for a few years I started 'noticing' boys :)

[docrobbysherry]

Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not "catchy". Someone does not become gay. You cannot be "turned" gay.

Just like being transgendered, no matter where you are on the spectrum, is not a choice. You can not catch being transgendered. You do not become transgendered. A gay person can not turn a straight person gay any more than a transgendered person can turn a straight person trans.
That's not the point, Roberta. It's not about what is actually possible. It's all about WHAT U THINK U R! And, WHEN U FIGURE IT OUT! For example, I never had a gay thot enter my mind. Until I began dressing at age 50.

At that time, I had fantasies of being the sexy female submissive to some dominant male. With the sudden urge to dress and the fantasies, I assumed I was gay or bi! So, either I had been all my life and denied it or I had suddenly turned!

Of course, u can't suddenly turn and I'm not bi! But, it took me a couple of years to work that out!

[whowhatwhen]

Fake response because I'm bored...

Yes.
It makes you very, very, mega gay.

The second that skirt goes on you instantly become attracted to big, hairy, lumberjack type guys with big muscles.
(That's not the only trunk he can swing over his shoulder, rawwwrrrrr!)

Sorry...
:D

[Bree-asaurus]

Did you hear that?
It's the entire LGBT community disagreeing with you.

I have no idea why it's so hard for straight people to get that sexual orientation is not a choice.

Yeah, he thinks your sexual orientation and gender identity are choices. But he is basing this assumption on the fact that... oh wait... nothing.

Maybe sissy should try to pray away the sissy... see how well that works for him since he's probably a firm believer in 'Pray Away the Gay' as well.

[Ressie]

Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not "catchy". Someone does not become gay. You cannot be "turned" gay.

Just like being transgendered, no matter where you are on the spectrum, is not a choice. You can not catch being transgendered. You do not become transgendered. A gay person can not turn a straight person gay any more than a transgendered person can turn a straight person trans.

I don't think it's always that black and white. Some people wouldn't have the idea of homosexuality if it wasn't seen so much in the media. Some people choose to try a homosexual act and may decide it's not really for them. I think the phrase "turn gay" applies to those that have been curious, but for one reason or another never attempted to make it reality. Meeting the right person could change that, and when the closet door opens, they will say he turned gay. So if one is curious but chooses not to act, are they gay or just latent homosexual. Didn't Freud conclude that everyone is a latent homosexual?


If you think about it, it makes no sense at all. A gay man is attracted to men and men ONLY. So if a gay man wants to attract another gay man, I don't think he'd be presenting as a female. It would not be a turn on for most gay men... I would think.
As for the so called tranny chasers....I think most are closeted gays or at least bisexual. They are not comfortable with the gay label or even the Bi label. So in their head, it's OK if they have sex with a man that presents as a woman. To them, it's not gay since "he" looks and acts like a woman. Just about the same way a crossdresser might think it's not gay since they are presenting as a female.

Put that aside, if you are not sexually attracted to men, then you are not gay. If you are attracted to women, then you are hetero. This regardless of what you are wearing.

So all gay men are only interested in masculine men? Since we have a stereotype of what a gay man is, maybe we should just use the word homosexual. If one is attracted to women with a penis would that person be homosexual? Certainly there are gay crossdressers as well as gay masculine men. There seems to be a lot of men that want to have sex with what appears to be a real woman with breasts, but that also has a penis. Are they bi-curious, straight or gay? Will they become gay after their first encounter, or were they born gay?

[kristinacd55]

I've been to a club with gay guy's, and they want nothing to do with us. It's all about what you're into, boys, girls, or both!

[Ressie]

Genetics make you gay.

LOL. Someone that is totally homosexual still manages to produce offspring... Would that make one straight curious?

[whowhatwhen]

I don't think it's always that black and white. Some people wouldn't have the idea of homosexuality if it wasn't seen so much in the media. Some people choose to try a homosexual act and may decide it's not really for them.

Actually, around the same time you started noticing girls they probably started noticing boys.
Physical attraction is not a learned behaviour.

Edit:
Interestingly enough, I started noticing girls at that age but not in "that way".
Only later in life am I discovering that it may have just been platonic attraction.

[whowhatwhen]

LOL. Someone that is totally homosexual still manages to produce offspring... Would that make one straight curious?

Actually, you used to see a lot of gay men marrying women because they felt they had to.
It's not unusual for them to father children while in that relationship.

[Tina B.]

So your friend thinks wearing womens clothes makes you gay, well that is just because we all want our friends to be like us, and if you are gay you two have more in common. Many people, even gay and transgendered people sometimes have trouble understanding the difference between Gender, and sexuality, one does not dictate the other. But you can be gay if you want to.
Tina B.

[Contessa]

I am going to out on the limb and say something and hope some one reads it. Nothing can make you gay either you are or you are not. Someone thinking that you are does not make you gay. Wishing you were doesn't either. If you are not gay please move away from the idea that you might be. That is about your friend not you. And I don't mean that is because he is gay.

Some people think that if a man is somewhat different he is gay. But they are only talking about the values they have. As they see it. It is how they think, they're upbringing. Forget about that, you can't change his beliefs only he can. If you say your not gay I BELIEVE YOU.

Don't worry about what others think it could consume you. Unless you want criticism. Now go make a life for yourself as long as it is the one you want.

Tess

[Beverley Sims]

I feel very gay wearing womens clothing and I always have a good time...
No! not that sort of gay.... Happy.:)

[CONSUELO]

Those that know me know that I have a problem with the labels in our community, but some are pretty straightforward. Gay means that you are sexually attracted to the same sex. I have fantasies about being female and having sex with guys - I would love to know and experience what that is like. At times when I have got Kaz 'in my head' I kind of know what sort of guys 'she' finds attractive... sadly they tend to be the guys 'I' get on well with! Does this make me gay? I have no desire whatsoever to have sex with another guy - it just doesn't work for me... women? Totally different ballgame! So I am quite clear about my sexual orientation. But my gender issues will always lead me to what it must be like to really be a woman... amazing! At times I so wish I was... in every facet of the experience!

Now Priya, to your gay friend... being a CD doesn't mean you are gay anymore than being gay means you are a CD... we are all who we are and life is complex. The best thing to do is figure out who you are. That is a lifetime's journey of not letting people put you in a box that you can't see out of! Once you are in that prison you stop learning and self-discovery.

We are back to the definition issue again. Many people on this site have stated that they are bi-. For me that means that when dressed I can consider sexual relations with a man. I know a gay person who really likes crossdressers while others don't. Also, when I compare the way that I look at men against the way a gay person looks at men, I can see that I am not like them. They notice and react to signals that I don't even recognise, while I find myself looking and admiring GG's for the way they look and dress. There are no neat pigeonholes in which to classify people.

[Julogden]

I don't think it's always that black and white. Some people wouldn't have the idea of homosexuality if it wasn't seen so much in the media.
If one's sexual identity could be swayed by portrayal in media, there wouldn't have been any gay people back when there were absolutely no LGBT people visible in the news and media.

It comes from the inside.

Carol

[Frédérique]

does it make you gay?

Let me get out my word bazooka… :doh:

Yes, it makes you GAY. I’m here to report the truth – as soon as you don the panties, the dresses, the wigs, hosiery, dainty shoes, et al, you will suddenly become gay, case closed. Hallelujah!!! We are now free to explain ourselves to all ignorant drab individuals who hate individuality. We are gay, queer, not right, deviant, perverted in the extreme, not to mention living, breathing examples of what can go wrong (I mean right) when someone wishes to express hidden desires. If you even think it, you are GAY, so let’s get the party started!!!

Not only are we gay, but we are also fairies, sissies, and purveyors of sensibilities that other males dare not acknowledge, lest they be condemned by their bigoted peers. My gestures are effeminate, my speech is highly suspect, and I like to cry as well. I am gay – no doubt about it. Did I tell you I love the color pink, I wear feminine fragrances, and I cross my legs at the knee? I also turn away from violence, I don’t impose my will on others, and I don’t judge people – surely this makes me gay, which, by my definition, is another way of saying “happy,” or good...

Out in the so-called real world, gay is wrong, unacceptable, or downright BAD. That’s a pity, because there’s a lot of enjoyment being missed simply because others have branded pleasure as non-masculine. Fighting, pain, and obstruction rule the day, while those who will not obstruct (or follow) are trampled under foot. I am not one of the former, so I go my merry (gay) way and enjoy life to the fullest. That, in itself, is gay, since selfishness is not exactly a virtue these days. I have the right to be different, as I choose, and non-conformity is my mission in life…

So, in closing, I am GAY, and MtF crossdressing made me that way, which is another way of saying that it opened the door to the Garden of Earthly Delights – this door is forever closed to the bigoted people who make distinctions based on appearance alone. I thank my lucky stars every day that I had the courage to cross the imaginary gender line, escape the unthinking, unfeeling herd, and experience the blessed breeze between my knees. In case you’re wondering, my sexual preference is not open to conjecture, but I’m here to tell you that MtF crossdressing HAS modified my “outlook” in profound ways. It made me gay BIG TIME, something all you homophobes out there can look forward to…
:straightface:

Sincerely (and gaily) yours, Freddy :battingeyelashes:

[ReineD]

LOL. Someone that is totally homosexual still manages to produce offspring... Would that make one straight curious?

No, it would make them want to live a camouflaged life. :p


Edit
I love this forum!!! We spend days debating the issue, when the simple answer is for the OP to actually go out and DO IT, and then come back and TELL US whether he enjoyed the experience or not. :rolleyes:


If he did and he'll never want to have sex with women again, he's gay. (Unless he's TS and will transition which is a different story).
If he did and he'll do it again plus also have sex with women, he's bi.
If it grossed him out, and he just wants to have sex with women, he's straight.

If it grossed him out AND he doesn't want to have sex with women, then he's asexual.

If he just wants to have sex with himself to the fantasy of being a woman with a man, then he's autogynephilic.

[priyaverma]

thanks for all ur replies all u lovely and gorgeous ladies.... love you alll <3

i know i am not gay ... as i love having sex with girls... but i have a much more andrgynous looks for a guy ... and as having my hair long ... no one can guess saying me as a guy ...
and even i have hardly any facial hair ...

[Beth Mays]

So to apply the thinking if you crosssdress you are Gay....
If you have a Harley...you are in a gang
If you go to church... you are a Bible thumper
If you watch Oprah... you are crazy
If you drink beer...you are a redneck

[whowhatwhen]

Don't worry, if you've contracted the gay we have a comprehensive denial and repression program which will see you becoming "straight" in no time flat!

All we ask is our clients not continue to drill holes in the walls of our restroom stalls.
Seriously guys it's expensive to get it repaired!

[sometimes_miss]

There is a tendency for people to want others to be as much like themselves as possible, because it supports their own self esteem not only for their life choices but for the things that they cannot change as well (such as sexuality).

[Maria 60]

I am not going to lie to you that when having sex with my wife at times i do imagine that my wife is a man, and on the same note my wife has admitted that she has imagined me as a women. That doesn't make her a les, so i don't look to much into it and just have fun with it. The day i really want to have sex with a man is when i will start to consider myself gay.

[Beth Wilde]

If you think about it, it makes no sense at all. A gay man is attracted to men and men ONLY. So if a gay man wants to attract another gay man, I don't think he'd be presenting as a female. It would not be a turn on for most gay men... I would think.


Speaking as a gay man, I can confirm that the majority of gay men are NOT crossdressers and the majority of crossdressers are not gay! There is a small overlap and that little area is where I live..... Before I met my partner, I was a crossdresser trying to attract a gay man! Now (and very luckily) I am a gay crossdresser with a gay crossdressing partner which is absolutely the best of both worlds for me!


i know i am not gay ... as i love having sex with girls... but i have a much more andrgynous looks for a guy ... and as having my hair long ... no one can guess saying me as a guy ...
and even i have hardly any facial hair ...

Then you are not gay, whatever your friend may want to think. As for having androgynous looks, long hair and little facial hair........ That just makes us balding, heavily bearded types really jealous :phbbt:

More seriously, :welcom: to the forum, I hope you have a great time here!

[Jenniferathome]

LOL. Someone that is totally homosexual still manages to produce offspring... Would that make one straight curious?

Wow, I can't believe that I have to explain this but it is clearly required. Genetics determines if we have blue eyes, brown hair, are tall, short, and homo or heterosexual. In other words, no one chooses to be gay. No one crossdresses and then says, "Well, I'm wearing a dress and I have a penis so I will be gay now." It is the same for crossdressers, I believe. It's not a choice. I choose to be a crossdresser no more than I have chosen my brown eyes. Just the idea is absurd. Who in their right mind would CHOOSE to be a crossdresser.
Progeny or the desire to have them, has nothing to do with homosexuality. Having children does not make one straight, it makes them a parent.

[ReineD]

Progeny or the desire to have them, has nothing to do with homosexuality. Having children does not make one straight, it makes them a parent.

This is true as well and I feel I should add to my prior comment about living a camouflaged life. If a homosexual marries in order to have children and be a parent, then hopefully his wife knows that he is homosexual and she is OK with having sex strictly for procreation purposes. And also hopefully she is accepting of his having sex with men. Otherwise the marriage would be a lie.

If they have sex on a regular basis then can this man truly say that he is homosexual? Wouldn't he then be bi?

[CynthiaD]

So to apply the thinking if you crosssdress you are Gay....
If you have a Harley...you are in a gang
If you go to church... you are a Bible thumper
If you watch Oprah... you are crazy
If you drink beer...you are a redneck

Let's see, I'm a crossdresser, I have a Harley, and I go to church. So I must be in a gay, bible-thumping gang.

Cool!

[CINDYO]

does not matter what the circumstance- ANY MAN (XY CHROMOSOME) THAT IS ATTRACTED TO ANOTHER MALE, (again does not matter the situation, ie a male dresses in ladies clothing) IS NOT A STRAIGHT MALE, PERIOD. Why do people make excuses and deny this to themselves?

[Voulez-Vous]

God, I just love LABELS and how people make up their own definitions for these LABELS...


If you're cross dressing you are transgender.
REALLY? Just how big is that TG umbrella? Must be one huge ass umbrella!


Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not "catchy". Someone does not become gay. You cannot be "turned" gay.

So, I can't take lessons to become GAY?
If I'm not gay and I go pick up a guy somewhere, I'm still not GAY?

[Bree-asaurus]

God, I just love LABELS and how people make up their own definitions for these LABELS...

REALLY? Just how big is that TG umbrella? Must be one huge ass umbrella!

"Transgender ( /trænzˈdʒɛndər/) is a general term applied to a variety of individuals, behaviors, and groups involving tendencies to vary from culturally conventional gender roles."

"trans·gen·der  [trans-jen-der, tranz‐] Show IPA
noun
1.
a person appearing or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, as a transsexual or habitual cross-dresser."

"Transgender
An umbrella term for transsexuals, cross-dressers (transvestites), transgenderists, gender queers, and people who identify as neither female nor male and/or as neither a man or as a woman. Transgender is not a sexual orientation;transgender people may have any sexual orientation. It is important to acknowledge that while some people may fit under this definition of transgender, they may not identify as such."

Is it that hard to Google something? lol...


does not matter what the circumstance- ANY MAN (XY CHROMOSOME) THAT IS ATTRACTED TO ANOTHER MALE, (again does not matter the situation, ie a male dresses in ladies clothing) IS NOT A STRAIGHT MALE, PERIOD. Why do people make excuses and deny this to themselves?

Soooo true. And dressing up like a girl is only done in an attempt to attract men (even if it's only subconsciously) so you can have homosexual sex with them. Any excuse otherwise is just an excuse; you're repressing your true homosexuality.

Oh, I'm sorry CINDYO, was that too judgmental of me? Do I not understand your situation? Hrmm... wonder where I've seen that before.

/sarcasm

Only someone who is unempathetic and cisgendered could believe that there cannot be a difference between internal gender and external sex. This is what a lot of transgendered and transsexual individuals who are not cross dressers live with. Male and female is not simply XX or XY and the advancing medical community is seeing this. And for someone who is a minority, who does get judged by others who think they are something they are not, I would think that you would be more considerate towards other people and other situations that you don't understand.

[NicoleScott]

Those of us who have been on the forum for a while have seen the need for someone to define TG occasionally. And not just for newcomers to the forum. It seems that there are a lot of folks who consider themselves more than an occasional or frequent crossdresser, but don't consider themselves TS. And so they call themselves TG. But I wonder if there really is such a category. If so, we're in need of a new word to describe it. TG already means something else, so that word is taken. Of course, the new word will fall under the TG umbrella, if that helps. haha

[Voulez-Vous]

Soooo true. And dressing up like a girl is only done in an attempt to attract men (even if it's only subconsciously) so you can have homosexual sex with them. Any excuse otherwise is just an excuse; you're repressing your true homosexuality.

Oh, I'm sorry CINDYO, was that too judgmental of me? Do I not understand your situation? Hrmm... wonder where I've seen that before.

You need to understand that is is the internet. Words in cyberspace. We can't hear you, see you, facial expressions, etc. All we see are your words typed out with your keyboard. So, all these subtle jokes (if you are joking) are not working. So, I'll assume you weren't joking and were serious.



Soooo true. And dressing up like a girl is only done in an attempt to attract men (even if it's only subconsciously) so you can have homosexual sex with them. Any excuse otherwise is just an excuse; you're repressing your true homosexuality.

You're so massively misinformed, I don't even know where to start. So, I won't...

[Bree-asaurus]

You need to understand that is is the internet. Words in cyberspace. We can't hear you, see you, facial expressions, etc. All we see are your words typed out with your keyboard. So, all these subtle jokes (if you are joking) are not working. So, I'll assume you weren't joking and were serious.

You're so massively misinformed, I don't even know where to start. So, I won't...

Here... I'll fix it... ^^^

EDIT: Fixed. My statement was supposed to be asinine enough to make it obvious. I mean... if I truly believed that, do you think I would have been here for two years and have 1500 posts without getting banned? I mean, you did consider that I was being sarcastic, but chose to believe I was insane. But point taken.

[Voulez-Vous]

EDIT: Fixed. My statement was supposed to be asinine enough to make it obvious. I mean... if I truly believed that, do you think I would have been here for two years and have 1500 posts without getting banned? I mean, you did consider that I was being sarcastic, but chose to believe I was insane. But point taken.
People believe what they can see. And what can people here see? Words typed out with your keyboard.

[whowhatwhen]

You're so massively misinformed, I don't even know where to start. So, I won't...

I'm going to take a stab in the dark here, but maybe she is referring to some posts wherein people say that they're only attracted to men while crossdressed.
There would have to be repressed bisexual or homosexual feelings there, but I can totally understand how confusing everything can be especially if transgender issues are mixed in.

[Thera Home]

Oh my, what a debate.

[Noemi]

This is all good to read. I joined this site to learn more about what Cd'ing is because i can not seem to stop dressing. I try to stop but I am magically wearing panties again...

Most of the CD'er's here are are not gay. They are married or just like to dress up, can not say I blame them it feels wonderful to dress.

Well, it is complex. There is everything. One can not paint with such broad strokes.
Oh I have to go........to be cont

[Marleena]

NOT GAY UNLESS YOU'RE GAY: only you know for sure. Carry on lol.

[whowhatwhen]

NOT GAY UNLESS YOU'RE GAY: only you know for sure. Carry on lol.

And if you're not sure, remember that it's not a race.
:)

<--- Needs to take own advice
:D

[Bree-asaurus]

And if you're not sure, remember that it's not a race.
:)

<--- Needs to take own advice
:D

Yup. And remember, if you're struggling with your own gender identity, you might as well save the "am I straight or gay" thinking for later... after you have yourself figured out lol...

[nikkijo]

one gay friend of mine came to know abt my crossdressing and all he wants to judge about is that I am a gay according to him .... as I love crossdressing ...

and I think of having sex while dressing as a female and am gettting a sexual pleasure out of it ......
:devil::D:tongueout

is this true ?
i dont think if u r a crossdresser u ought to be gay or a transgender ..?

that is a description of a transvestite..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rYu54xjX7A

there ya go... tell your friend the accurate answer

[nikkijo]

I have no idea why it's so hard for straight people to get that sexual orientation is not a choice.

actually it is..... there is no denying im trans and in transition but i made the concious decision to look beyond my preference of a female to be in a relationship and ended up finding someone who i see as perfect and can mostly understand why and who i am what i am, and im glad i made that choice to open my options...

[ReineD]

If it's a choice for you, Nikkijo, then you're probably bi. I think that most of us assume we "should" be opposite-sex attracted while we grow up since this is the message we get and what we see modeled around us, but eventually our sexuality develops and we find out (often after fighting it for awhile) who we can or do feel sexually attracted to.

No matter how much I might "choose" to be sexually attracted to my best friend whom I admire greatly and love dearly, it would just gross me out to be in bed with her. This is probably true for most people. So, if you have it in you to be attracted to either sex, you're just wired that way. :)

[LisaMallon]

Sexuality is a lot more fluid and situational than most people think. Basically if you take sexuality as a bell curve then just about everyone is in the middle somewhere.
What you do will depend on the person involved and the actual situation at the time.

Personally I think it is time to ditch all those terms, after all this is the 21st century. If you enjoy something at the time, then you enjoy it.
Most of these terms like 'Gay', 'Lesbian', 'Bisexual' are just labels to load guilt onto people who should have no guilt.

The world can be such a crappy place and life can be pretty stuffed at times, if you can find friendship, love and pleasure somewhere no matter what the form then go for it.
Provided you follow the old rule of "don't frighten the children or scare the horses" (or vice versa).

[ReineD]

Personally I think it is time to ditch all those terms, after all this is the 21st century. If you enjoy something at the time, then you enjoy it.
Most of these terms like 'Gay', 'Lesbian', 'Bisexual' are just labels to load guilt onto people who should have no guilt.

The words that define someone's sexual orientation do not cause guilt. Some people in our society do, who believe it is wrong to be homosexual and who are vocal about this.

We don't want to ditch the terms. It's important to be able to describe ourselves accurately to the people we love or are beginning to love. We do need words for this.

[Krististeph]

yes. end of argument. in other words: do you have an iq over 75?

[Leanne2]

If someone says that sexual identity is a choice then ask them if they chose to be an ass hole or were they born that way.

[Jenniferathome]

If someone says that sexual identity is a choice then ask them if they chose to be an ass hole or were they born that way.

Not sure where you intended to go with this, but the thing you present is a personality trait. It is neither a genetic factor nor a choice.

[Pythos]

Soooo true. And dressing up like a girl is only done in an attempt to attract men (even if it's only subconsciously) so you can have homosexual sex with them. Any excuse otherwise is just an excuse; you're repressing your true homosexuality.

Even thought the poster of this was being sarcastic, it is a sad fact that many people think this way. You are so wrong if you think the reason I wear feminine styles is to attract men....guh!!! No way is that true. I do it for me, and if possible attract an open minded, perhaps lesbian leaning female, Oh wait....I DID THAT!!! LOL.

As I have stated before here, when dressed enfem or androg I am actually MORE attracted to the female of the species. My GF though always claiming to want a balance in my style presentation, seems to make out with me more when I am done up fem.

[Ressie]

I don't think I should respond to this thread again. I'll just say everyone should keep an open mind.

[Sandra1746]

Dressing in women's clothing doesn't make you gay any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car.

Sandra1746

[whowhatwhen]

I don't think I should respond to this thread again. I'll just say everyone should keep an open mind.

An open mind to what?
That being LGBT is a choice?

I'm struggling now with both gender identity as well as sexual orientation so the whole "gay == choice" thing really, really makes me furious.
The idea that anyone would choose to go through all the things that LGBT people go though is just ridiculous.

[Beth Wilde]

Dressing in women's clothing doesn't make you gay any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car.

Sandra1746

Now THAT is a perfect way to sum it up! :D:clap:

[Danille]

Dressing in women's clothing doesn't make you gay any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car.

Sandra1746
Well said! Interesting thread here, very diverse opions expressed. For the record, I'm gay and a crossdresser. Crossdresser first and straight, then gay. Guess that makes me a bit "out of the norm" D.

[Marleena]

An open mind to what?
That being LGBT is a choice?

I'm struggling now with both gender identity as well as sexual orientation so the whole "gay == choice" thing really, really makes me furious.
The idea that anyone would choose to go through all the things that LGBT people go though is just ridiculous.

WWW as you know it chooses you. It sounds like you might have gotten a double whammy there and time will tell. There are are others on the forum that got the double whammy so you're not alone. I know it causes additional stress but you need to come to terms with both if need be. Best of luck!

[docrobbysherry]

Even thought the poster of this was being sarcastic, it is a sad fact that many people think this way. You are so wrong if you think the reason I wear feminine styles is to attract men....guh!!! No way is that true. I do it for me, and if possible attract an open minded, perhaps lesbian leaning female, Oh wait....I DID THAT!!! LOL.

As I have stated before here, when dressed enfem or androg I am actually MORE attracted to the female of the species. My GF though always claiming to want a balance in my style presentation, seems to make out with me more when I am done up fem.
Speak for yourself, Pythos! I'm completely straight! Yet, I'll admit Sherry's first and foremost purpose is to attract men! In her case, one man! ME! And, who among us doesn't, to some degree or another, dress to PLEASE THEMSELVES!? Don't we wear things we find "attractive"?

And, that in itself is a message. That many of us portray those we r attracted to, women! Why would we want to portray folks we aren't attracted to? As a man, I often care very little how I appear. Because I don't feel attractive no matter how I dress. But, with Sherry, I feel exactly the opposite! I don't want her looking like a slob!

[BRANDYJ]

Does crossdressing make you gay? let's see....I've been a crossdresser for 50 years and I am not gay. I'm a crossdresser partly because I am so attracted to women, not only for their beauty, sensuality, sexiness, but for everything that makes a woman the Goddesses that they are. That attraction is so strong, that I want to emulate them the best I can.

So if it makes us gay, then I'll have to wait and see what happens in the next 50 years.

[Ressie]

An open mind to what?
That being LGBT is a choice?

I'm struggling now with both gender identity as well as sexual orientation so the whole "gay == choice" thing really, really makes me furious.
The idea that anyone would choose to go through all the things that LGBT people go though is just ridiculous.

Well, it's obvious to me that some children are obviously going to be gay, and many know from an early age. But bisexuals are the ones that are more likely to be confused. The choice part is more about choosing not to take part sexually. I have bisexual inclinations, and have had a couple of encounters long ago, but choose not to at this point. Whether that makes me gay or not would be an opinion wouldn't it? Some people would say yes, some would say no.

I didn't intend to ruffle any feathers.

[Pythos]

I stand corrected Doc, you are correct, I do dress for my male side, but I mostly dress from open minded women :P

[Wildaboutheels]

Only a fool would judge a present by the box it comes in.

The same applies to people. The clothing one chooses to wear is nothing more than a wrapper and just might not be, in any way indicative, of the person inside.