What do you feel is lost?

[Simply Joslyn]

Well maybe a more therapy question, but I'm not quite sure what is there to lose by becoming female? I assume that all things can be done quite the same, and I know for some there are family and friends to be lost, but I do not believe that will be too much a problem for me as my family knows, and any friends I have no will to tell haven't exactly been the best friends in the long run? So simply put is there any things that might have been missed as a male?

[ReineD]

Can't tell how old you are from your avatar, but if you transition early and can begin your career as a woman, without first marrying a GG & having kids in male mode, then I agree that you will not face losing a family or a job.

If you decide to physically become a woman at age 40 and you have a wife who does not wish to be married to a woman, then you stand to lose your marriage. If you are also working for a company that does not have policies in place that support individuals who wish to transition, then you chance losing your job as well.

It's all relative.

[Simply Joslyn]

Can't tell how old you are from your avatar, but if you transition early and can begin your career as a woman, without first marrying a GG & having kids in male mode, then I agree that you will not face losing a family or a job.

If you decide to physically become a woman at age 40 and you have a wife who does not wish to be married to a woman, then you stand to lose your marriage. If you are also working for a company that does not have policies in place that support individuals who wish to transition, then you chance losing your job as well.

It's all relative.

19, and I have no plans of waiting to get into that web, thank you for the info.

[ReineD]

Then you should be OK. :hugs:

When I read the stories here about what people have lost, it is about the things they have accumulated all their lives while in male mode. Even then we do have some members whose wives stayed with them and who were able to salvage their careers, but I don't think this is the norm.

[Sally24]

Reine mentions kids and that is one thing I wouldn't have given up for anything! Being young you may not have that point of view but I would plan ahead anyway.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Joslyn,

At 19 your young however you are already in your prime for transitioning.
Do not wait, do not delay, do not say " I have the time" because you don't.
I lost everyone and everything at 39 when I transitioned.

I have no children and didn't want any.
Children complicate transition beyond anything that you or I could understand so the best thing to do there is not to have any for the foreseeable future.
HRT will sterlize you so if you feel you must go and procreate then bank your sperm prior to starting HRT.
Start HRT now. Don't start HRT later, in the near future, when you get around to it but NOW!!
The changes you will see in your physical makeup because of the age that you would be starting will be impressive to say the least.

You will not miss anything from living another day in a male world.
The male species is a curse.
Do what's right for you Joslyn.
If you feel the time is right then do not delay.


Julia

[Simply Joslyn]

Joslyn,

At 19 your young however you are already in your prime for transitioning.
Do not wait, do not delay, do not say " I have the time" because you don't.
I lost everyone and everything at 39 when I transitioned.

I have no children and didn't want any.
Children complicate transition beyond anything that you or I could understand so the best thing to do there is not to have any for the foreseeable future.
HRT will sterlize you so if you feel you must go and procreate then bank your sperm prior to starting HRT.
Start HRT now. Don't start HRT later, in the near future, when you get around to it but NOW!!
The changes you will see in your physical makeup because of the age that you would be starting will be impressive to say the least.

You will not miss anything from living another day in a male world.
The male species is a curse.
Do what's right for you Joslyn.
If you feel the time is right then do not delay.


Julia
I do believe you've won my comment of the day award, I have little time to wait, I have only my older sister to tell till my immediate family all know, for once I don't have to wait except on finding the right therapist, I've never been one to think of having kids, they like me but I see them as alot of work and I'm not sure I could bring them up as they should be. Its been a long 6-7 years since I started to really consider this and I'm finally able to get things done, my only worry now is the therapist, what do you say to them to let them know your serious, what if I screw it up, all the possibilities of how this one person can affect my life are what really bother me.

[LeaP]

job, savings, spouse/SO, family, friends, safety, home, credibility, social acceptance, health (long-term HRT) ...

nothing important ...

Of course, you gain things too, but that's not what you asked ...

[Simply Joslyn]

job, savings, spouse/SO, family, friends, safety, home, credibility, social acceptance, health (long-term HRT) ...

nothing important ...

Of course, you gain things too, but that's not what you asked ...
none,none,none,they're on board,I have few friends because of my anxiety but because of a few members on this site that can actually understand my troubles and who've I met I'm ok with losing the few that would leave me anyway,safety isn't something that many have the pleasure of either way and I always think if thats the way it needs to go atleast I'll be happy with the rest of my time, none,none,never had much anyway, risks that I've already accepted to be happy.
Sorry to be such a wet blanket there, I guess its easier when you don't have much
If its alright with you I'd love to hear the things gained

[JohnH]

You will not miss anything from living another day in a male world.
The male species is a curse.
Do what's right for you Joslyn.
If you feel the time is right then do not delay.


Julia

I don't feel that the male specie is a curse; rather, society's expectations of what is expected of males are truly curses.

I said to my wife, "Sometime in the near future I am going to need to wear bras" to which she said, "Men don't wear bras". I am getting the to point when I run I can feel my breasts jiggle uncomfortably. On the other hand there are genetic women who clearly don't need bras such as those with A and AA cup sizes.

With those attitudes pandemic to our society I feel I will have no choice but to present as a female full time and have a name change. So if I officially change my name to "Johanna" I will change the username on this forum back to "JohannaH".

John

[kellycan27]

No job, and no savings? Are you a student? Are your folks going to pay for for your transition? A rich uncle perhaps? Transitioning young is certainly the way to go if one can, but the catch is... how many 19 year olds have the resources to do so on their own? Are your anxiety issues going to interfere with getting a job? I have seen a lot of young people that get so obsessed with transitioning that they don't think things through and end up in limbo.. Can't go to school, can't get a job... can't afford to transition. What about after transition? Do you have the skills to land a job that will sustain you? You have to live, and eat and pay bills... I am not trying to rain on your parade because like you I transitioned at an early age. I began living full time at 20 while I was in college, so I am comfortable saying... been there, got the t-shirt. Best of luck.

Kel

[ReineD]

The male species is a curse.


It's a curse for you, but not for people who enjoy being male or for the men and women who love them. You speak as if this is an absolute when it is not.

... like a little kid at the dinner table who says, "Ewww, spinach is gross". It's better to teach the child to say, "Ewww, I don't like spinach".

[Bree-asaurus]

What will you lose?

Male privilege.

[Nicole Erin]

It does suck from either point -
If you try to do it young, you don't have the finances but if you wait til you are older, testosterone may have done a lot of damage and by then you are too old to enjoy being a younger woman. One cannot win.

Advantages when young - your looks are still intact, you don't have anything to lose, and you have not done anything to wreck your life.
When older - the world in not razzing you about how to live and MAYBE you will have money.

What you could do though is start some transition now. Do things like train your voice, get electrolysis if needed, and with HRT - it does have effect but it is not something miraculous.

Here is what to avoid like the plague - don't get married, don't have kids, don't get caught up in some overly masculine career. Those three things will hinder transition no matter what age you try to start. Well in fact - marriage or having kids pretty much hinder any dreams you have in life unless that IS your dream.

People think of transition and they think of going out and getting SRS or a boob job. You don't have to have those right away.

They talk about having money to transition and everyone thinks "some day i will be rich" but what happens 20 years down the road if you are still as broke and poor as you were back when you were running a register in H.S. Don;t assume you will have some great career paying 6 figures just cause you are a college grad. A lot of us are still struggling to get by on near minimum wage.

The time to live your life is NOW. Not 20 years from now when things might be better. Most of us over 30 have seen the effects of "waiting until some day" to try to live a life. "Someday when things are better" becomes "I wish I would have..."
I never had nor will I ever have the money for expensive parts of transition but really it doesn't matter to me now. I decided a couple years ago, "This is how I want to live and f*** the consequences".

I am going with Julia on this one.

EDIT - You will have people trying to discourage you from doing what you want in life. Very seldom does anyone say, "I am glad I listened to so and so when I was younger..." No, if you let others guide your footsteps, you will surely stumble. They have their life to live and ultimately you need to live yours. There will always be reasons and excuses for waiting to live. However, life is what happens while we are waiting on other things to happen.

[JohnH]

I also say start with the M2F HRT right away. The electrolysis and SRS, if desired, definitely can wait until later. If you don't have years of testosterone influence on your body you won't have to work so hard at feminizing yourself.

As old as I am I'm fortunate that I started instead of waiting until my back and chest hair coarsened up and my bald spot really began. All of my adult life I used to have that "Alfred Hitchcock" profile and now that is a thing of the past with my body fat redistributed on my thighs, butt, and breasts. I also feel much better about myself too.

John

[Simply Joslyn]

No job, and no savings? Are you a student? Are your folks going to pay for for your transition? A rich uncle perhaps? Transitioning young is certainly the way to go if one can, but the catch is... how many 19 year olds have the resources to do so on their own? Are your anxiety issues going to interfere with getting a job? I have seen a lot of young people that get so obsessed with transitioning that they don't think things through and end up in limbo.. Can't go to school, can't get a job... can't afford to transition. What about after transition? Do you have the skills to land a job that will sustain you? You have to live, and eat and pay bills... I am not trying to rain on your parade because like you I transitioned at an early age. I began living full time at 20 while I was in college, so I am comfortable saying... been there, got the t-shirt. Best of luck.

Kel
I understand what your saying,I have a job waiting for me in a few days doing security, and if I'm fired for transitioning I happen to have a good friend in the restaurant business that will gladly help me out, I don't have plans to go full out quite yet, I'm simply looking to take it one step at a time starting with hrt, I just finished up with an automotive school so if all else fails I have that experience, I would be working in that field now but I have to wait for my record to clear on the 17th of this month for that, I had an accident in which my brake lines cut out in the rain about a year ago and if you have a driving record noone will hire you, but it was never what I really wanted to do with my life, I have my family to live with till I can potentially get off my feet and when that happens I plan to have atleast two jobs, even if their dirt money is money and I'll have enough left over after bills, and the rent on a nyc room I plan to get, to save myself some money for surgeries and the
edit- I forgot to mention my anxiety has never affected my work before, I have trouble talking to folks because theres always that pointy needle in the back of my head that is afraid what they think of me, but when I'm at work and functioning the people around me essentially become family, I become a much more flamboyant person at work, like nothing much matters except that end of the week paycheck, and I'm willing to do what must be done for it if thats understandable

[Julia_in_Pa]

Joslyn,

You don't need alot of money to transition at your age.
HRT is very cheap plus from what I've seen of you you pass well.
Just wait until hormones get a hold of you.

If I listened to nay sayers concerning transition I'd be dead right now, literally.

Walk forward sister.


Julia

[Lesley_Roberta]

julia missed only one thing in my opinion, an easy to over look thing that might not be relevant to you yet.

I am dealing with a shift in thinking processes, a shift in attitudes, a shift in habits. I am 50 and I have 50 years of being in this body, you've only been in yours for 19 :)

It's not easy to get the guy out of your head if he's been in there for like forever. My body refuses to sit like a girl. 50 years of sitting like a guy is not something you just turn off.

I stand like a guy walk like a guy. I eat like a guy and I have all sorts of guy hobbies.

I am really frustrated because I tell myself I am Lesley in here damn it, but all the junk is Leslie's junk. It's like being in a time shared apartment, and nothing is my stuff.
The movies books music, it's all Leslie's.

It's frustrating, because all I seem to do now is go for walks because I feel like I am in some else's place when I'm here. I am basically searching for 'my stuff'.
And it is not easy to be seemingly starting life at 50 instead of 01.

So don't take long making your choice, because every day as him, is a day you weren't her.

[Starling]

...my only worry now is the therapist, what do you say to them to let them know your serious, what if I screw it up...

You tell your therapist the truth, Joslyn. Otherwise, why bother to see one? There are folks here who were able to go it alone, but believe me, no matter how sure of yourself you are, it can be extremely valuable to have the help of a trained, experienced gender specialist. They don't help as much with diagnosis, assuming you have done your own stringent self-examination, as with the practical and psychological nuts and bolts of transition.

My therapist asked me questions, listened to what I said, noted my determination to transition and embarked on guiding and encouraging me. She referred me for HRT at a local clinic and has also given me useful practical assistance by hooking me up with the best professionals in our area--from speech therapists, to electrolysists to manicurists.

I feel she is my greatest ally. And I echo the sentiment expressed by almost everyone here, that you should start HRT as soon as you're sure of your path. Don't wait! And good luck to you, Joslyn.

:) Lallie

[Organza]

It's a curse for you, but not for people who enjoy being male or for the men and women who love them. You speak as if this is an absolute when it is not.

... like a little kid at the dinner table who says, "Ewww, spinach is gross". It's better to teach the child to say, "Ewww, I don't like spinach".

What Reine is saying is critically important, and so is what Julia is saying. The male sex is not a curse. On the other hand, I'm not offended by people who think it is, or who think women are superior to men. In fact they give me a kind of thrill because these views call to something in me. I guess I'm entirely ambivalent, because there are male virtues and males have more of them. I even admire them in myself. But I think the male biological role is largely atavistic. More women go to college. They're much less violent. They make much better parents in general (not better than I am, but better than most men :)).

All this is probably off-topic. I agree with Julia that you will be glad.

Lisa

[ameliabee]

No job, and no savings? Are you a student? Are your folks going to pay for for your transition? A rich uncle perhaps? Transitioning young is certainly the way to go if one can, but the catch is... how many 19 year olds have the resources to do so on their own? Are your anxiety issues going to interfere with getting a job? I have seen a lot of young people that get so obsessed with transitioning that they don't think things through and end up in limbo.. Can't go to school, can't get a job... can't afford to transition. What about after transition? Do you have the skills to land a job that will sustain you? You have to live, and eat and pay bills... I am not trying to rain on your parade because like you I transitioned at an early age. I began living full time at 20 while I was in college, so I am comfortable saying... been there, got the t-shirt. Best of luck.

Kel

Yeah, lack of resources is really the primary obstacle for younger trans folk. It doesn't take a lot of money to transition, but it takes some -> I think I've blown about $2900 on transition expenses so far. (~$1050 laser, ~$670 therapy, ~$500 medical, ~$400 court fees, remainder on essentials and clothing) In hindsight, I was incredibly stupid about how I did some things, but I also didn't have the knowledge base and network that I do now. With a bit of savvy, you could easily do it with half of what I did. (Also, you live near enough to an informed consent clinic. I don't believe there's one within 500 miles of me.)

Something that I feel like I've lost is the freedom to go about doing whatever career-wise. I'd love to stay in academia and finish the PhD, but if budget cuts happen again (and they will, because politicians love to attack education), my choices will be to accept an SRS date sometime in 2015 or later, or take the M.S. and hopefully afford it before then.

Also started living full time at 20, the day after graduating with my Bachelor's degree.

[LisaMallon]

Oh yes this is the best time to do it. At this age you can reinvent yourself and create a whole new life and career, without the baggage we older ones have.

Note the superb comment by Kelly ("so obsessed with transitioning that they don't think things through and end up in limbo.. Can't go to school, can't get a job... can't afford to transition"), you have you take care of your education, training and career plans all at the same time .. it will keep you busy.

Read around the web for people who have successfully done this, particularly 'transition planning'. because you really need a step by step approach.

And good luck of course.

[noeleena]

Hi.

Can i say its very different for all of us,

I have not lost male privalge. funny as that may be or sound fact is i have gained more, have i gained female / woman s privalge very much so. What then have i lost, over all long term very little,

We. Jos & i have 3 grown up adults & 9 grand children that could have been my major lose ......and NOTHING compares to that ........

Because im intersexed i have gained so much more as a person & being both male/ female opened so many doors some times we think its more importaint to be this female / woman , we miss out on being who we really are as a person. the first thing i learned age 10 was to be myself to accept who i was/am has issus & all & learn to grow into who i was.

Yes im a female / woman & from birth not a problem i still had to grow & i have mind you iv had the time to do that. at allmost 65,
Can i just say you cant became a female , your born that way, you can grow in to a woman by accepting who you are. it allso comes down to how your mind is programed or wired as in being female as i was / am.

As to gaining , a member of women only groups & many others. accepted for who i am as a person & a woman.& not by trying to be a woman, for myself its about being one.
Its not about trying to be some one your not its about being true to your self & others around you, & its about being accepted.
Oh can i say its not about how you look or not or wether , (you ......blend in or pass......this does not apply to myself ), your ether accepted on the grounds of who you ...are.... or not.

...noeleena...

[Sally24]

If its alright with you I'd love to hear the things gained

Since you asked for just the opposite maybe you are a little confused here?

Hormones are relatively cheap, and very effective at your age. What aren't cheap are the consequences. That's what the professionals are for, to make sure you get what you NEED and not necessarily what you want. Get a good therapist and tell them the truth, the whole truth...... You get my drift. Good luck, forge ahead, but don't rush. Mistakes can be made when you are so young and sure that you don't listen to others.

[KellyJameson]

Hi Joslyn

I think Bree nailed it.

You will be relating to men as a female.

You may have experienced that sensation of not being taken seriously by others because of your age but there will come a time when you notice certain men are treating you as if you are stupid because you are not a man.

You will know it by tone of voice, a lack of consideration for your ideas, a certain condescending manner.

Nothing to fear but something that requires certain management skills that you will learn in time.

For me the female perspective of life is socially very different because many of the things I take for granted disappear to be replaced with other things.

Living in both worlds makes you aware of how rigid the roles are for men and women even today with all the talk of equality because there is a war between the sexes that I think has always been going on. A type of tension that comes from being both attracted to and repelled by each other simultanously that creates a conflict that is hated and craved.

[Simply Joslyn]

Hi Joslyn

I think Bree nailed it.

You will be relating to men as a female.

You may have experienced that sensation of not being taken seriously by others because of your age but there will come a time when you notice certain men are treating you as if you are stupid because you are not a man.

You will know it by tone of voice, a lack of consideration for your ideas, a certain condescending manner.

Nothing to fear but something that requires certain management skills that you will learn in time.

For me the female perspective of life is socially very different because many of the things I take for granted disappear to be replaced with other things.

Living in both worlds makes you aware of how rigid the roles are for men and women even today with all the talk of equality because there is a war between the sexes that I think has always been going on. A type of tension that comes from being both attracted to and repelled by each other simultanously that creates a conflict that is hated and craved.

Actualy yeah I do notice that, I mean I have alot of thoughts in my head and quite a few of them aren't concerned with being transgender, and so I feel I need to voice them yet when I do the people I talk to just fade off and show no interest, I never really voice them to women because I'm afraid of being thought of as strange, and so communicating to guys I feel disrespected even though I take the time to listen to everyone elses thoughts no matter what, it makes me happy in a sense, to know people are willing to open up to me I guess. And I see the rigid roles even now, and I'm not exactly fond of the male way of seeing things, guess my sight has always been off from theirs anyway, brutish, unnecessarily forceful, and a will to do things no matter how unethical, women feel what they do not just think it, even if not compassionate and caring in the common sense they don't just think with they're head.
Thanks for providing me with the insight, I guess it shows me more of myself every time I get to think about these responses.

[ReineD]

You may have experienced that sensation of not being taken seriously by others because of your age but there will come a time when you notice certain men are treating you as if you are stupid because you are not a man.

You will know it by tone of voice, a lack of consideration for your ideas, a certain condescending manner.

Some younger women (perhaps the vacuous ones) actually encourage this type of dismissiveness by putting up with it. Maybe they feel, if they act all girly and giggly they'll get their man. :rolleyes:

But I can tell you that I and the women that I know DO NOT put up with this. If a man refused to acknowledge my presence I would not let him get away with it. I stood up and met him square on, face-to-face, and forced him to deal with me. lol. This was as far back as the 1970s. And things have changed considerably since then. Modern sons know that their moms earn money and have an equal voice in the family's finances. They see women as their equals. We are nearing a 60/40 split in female/male college grads. Men are actually working for women now. Gone are the days of execs in power suits with female secretaries in pencil skirts Ã* la Mad Men. :D

Thank God.

[Lesley_Roberta]

Just another of a long list of my hate list of reasons why I dislike a large swath of male humanity.

There ARE men out there that have such repulsive attitudes towards women. Can't even call it sexist, as it is a LOT worse than just sexist.

I recall getting married, and we had no option to go to the church I was raised in, as they couldn't meet my work schedule needs for the marriage classes they required we take. So I ended up my brother in law (to be) church as they could work around my schedule. But I have to say this, they were utterly and entirely incapable of reading their bibles in anything other than an unacceptable fashion as evidenced by all the questions asked that we needed to provide answers for (it was like homework). I looked at my then bride and it was 'do they honestly expect me to answer in the fashion they sure as hell expect?, I'm trying to get married eh, not piss you off'. Fortunately, a life as wargamer and my literary skills combined made it possible to answer all their questions in ways they simply couldn't get what they so clearly were looking for. I think I could have gotten a standing ovation from the local bar association :)

Society has sooo many levels of unacceptable conduct towards women if you really look with opened eyes.
I so don't want to be any part of any of that.

[Aprilrain]

Well maybe a more therapy question, but I'm not quite sure what is there to lose by becoming female? I assume that all things can be done quite the same, and I know for some there are family and friends to be lost, but I do not believe that will be too much a problem for me as my family knows, and any friends I have no will to tell haven't exactly been the best friends in the long run? So simply put is there any things that might have been missed as a male?

Joslyn, socially speaking your family just found out, initial acceptance is common because people are in shock! There is plenty of time for rejection. Not trying to rain on your parade but you NEED to be prepared to lose everything. Will you lose everything? Probably not but you could. Is that acceptable to you?

Physically you stand to lose the ability to get an erection and or have an orgasm again maybe not but probably so. Also you will lose some strength.

If you are into heterosexual woman you will lose that pool of potential partners. You will be gay after your transition. Not a loss per se but there are far fewer gay people than hetero and you have to contend with heteronormative behavior. This is the assumption that everyone is hetero by hetero people.

If you don't pass you lose cissexual privilege. Regardless of the clothes and makeup if you look like a man in a dress that is basically how you will be treated. This could range from patronizing condecendence to out right violence.

[Anna Lorree]

I do believe you've won my comment of the day award, I have little time to wait, I have only my older sister to tell till my immediate family all know, for once I don't have to wait except on finding the right therapist, I've never been one to think of having kids, they like me but I see them as alot of work and I'm not sure I could bring them up as they should be. Its been a long 6-7 years since I started to really consider this and I'm finally able to get things done, my only worry now is the therapist, what do you say to them to let them know your serious, what if I screw it up, all the possibilities of how this one person can affect my life are what really bother me.

In my experience, the therapist will listen to you and likely believe you when you tell them you are trans, but they won't take you seriously until you show up presenting as a woman, consistently. It will take 3 months of regular sessions before you are likely to get access to HRT, so start soon. Once you have HRT access, things should get better and easier for you.

You are young and should have great results. I'm the nearly 40 year old with a wife and two kids, and this is the hardest thing I have ever faced. I simply can not become female and keep my entire family. No matter what I do, I am going to lose something I love and need. Start before your life gets REALLY complicated.

Anna

[Anna Lorree]

What will you lose?

Male privilege.

Been covering this with my therapist recently. I'll be honest that this is intimidating, I simply don't know what to expect without it.

Anna

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Its easier said than done, but try not to get caught up in this...it's all relative... if you can stay close to family and friends, everything else accrues to your benefit...think of it as good money after bad...your male life is a sunk cost...it cannot be undone.

If you get bogged down in theoretical losses, you'll be stuck.. you will lose things...things will go wrong..people will disapprove, your career may be affected, you will treated as a woman, which is to say quite often less than a man... you may be shunned from cisgender circles...your parents may disown you...your kids may hate you... it can be incredibly EXPENSIVE....Surgery and electrolysis HURTS!!!...there are health risks.. etc etc...

The folks that have been through this know it intimately, we have used and seen every fear, every excuse...and i've seen poor surgery results, failed transitions leading to suicide attempts...kids never talking to dad again, parents trying to SHOOT their mtf daughter and most often, we fired and blackballed at work many times, i've seen a friend get goaded over months, she finally flipped on the taunters and was promptly downsized..they dared her to sue basically...
i've seen transsexuals mired in fear and self doubt, and year after year say next year...i can't blame them...taking that leap was the hardest thing i can remember doing, and if i felt like i had a choice, i would have never done it..

Some of the ideas around this thread highlight why so many times, we don't transition until we absolutely have to... we are right to be afraid of it...its when the fear of living your life as a lie is MORE than the fears expressed here that your mindset is right for transition..I kind of liked the mindgame comfort of knowing that i had done everything i could possibly do before i transitioned...and for two weeks before starting HRT, i sobbed many times a day, because i knew it was gonna be really hard and take alot of time, and i knew what was on the table..

....that's my daily ray of sunshine!!!.... but i mean this in an affirming way...it's a big deal...its good to be really on top of the downsides, but then you have to push them aside forever

[LeaP]

....that's my daily ray of sunshine!!!.... but i mean this in an affirming way...it's a big deal...its good to be really on top of the downsides, but then you have to push them aside forever

Oh, THAT ray of sunshine! The one breaking over the massive thunderstorm front spawning all the tornados and baseball-sized hail! The one at the eye of the hurricane and shining through the ozone hole in the Southern Hemisphere!

LOL!

Seriously, excellent post and every point well-taken. I particularly note the items pertaining to work.

[Simply Joslyn]

Joslyn, socially speaking your family just found out, initial acceptance is common because people are in shock! There is plenty of time for rejection. Not trying to rain on your parade but you NEED to be prepared to lose everything. Will you lose everything? Probably not but you could. Is that acceptable to you?

Physically you stand to lose the ability to get an erection and or have an orgasm again maybe not but probably so. Also you will lose some strength.

If you are into heterosexual woman you will lose that pool of potential partners. You will be gay after your transition. Not a loss per se but there are far fewer gay people than hetero and you have to contend with heteronormative behavior. This is the assumption that everyone is hetero by hetero people.

If you don't pass you lose cissexual privilege. Regardless of the clothes and makeup if you look like a man in a dress that is basically how you will be treated. This could range from patronizing condecendence to out right violence.
I suppose I've always been ready to lose everything, or atleast give it all up, I always had plans to leave my whole life behind, and simply disappear. My family knowing isn't exactly a god send, but it saves me from losing them for right now, if in the end I do lose them, then its something that had to happen anyway. I don't worry about my father, hes always been the level headed one and always shows concern, my mother, well we don't communicate to well, but apparently shes been doing here research, I'm hoping its the right things atleast.
I'm going to be honest and say I don't really have to many sexual desires, I've been alright on my own, and don't really feel a subconscious need to be otherwise, while I think it would be ok to have someone to talk to and understand it doesn't bother me to not have another person that close, if thats understandable.
I've been told I pass quite well, not sure if thats simply niceness or not, but I've accepted that I look well enough to myself and hope the same of the rest of the world.

Essentially all I want to say after that is, this is something I'm actually willing to give my life for, nothing in my life has ever given me more drive and reason to keep moving forward, before all I wanted to do was simply erase everything, I did drugs, I did stupid things, I had stupid friends, all in an attempt to clear my mind, just make any and all thoughts stop, so that I could be something I wasn't and blend in with the common population,and now I feel the want to just stop and aim for something. I've since quite any drugs, and am finally willing to fight for quitting smoking because I know of the adverse effects it can have. I'm not entirely sure if this is completely understandable to all you or if its the opposite, but I guess it really helps me to have a goal. And to all even though I can't respond to everyone, thank you for your input, I'll keep watching and listening.

[Joan21]

Feel same way what do i really have to loose besides my depressed male self that hates life when im a girl im a hppy person