Breakthrough or Breakdown?

[Vallari]

Well, heres my situation: I have been crossdressing since elementary school off and on. Lately, especially this last year or so, I have really been getting into CD'ing a lot more (Im 18 now). I used to think about girls and all that stuff, but now I find myself fantasizing more about being with male partners -usually while dressed and playing the passive role. I find myself getting real emotional/passionate when I have these thoughts as well. I never used to get emotional like this thinking about girls. Sorry if im being too personal< :o But has/is anyone out there going through the same kind of thing? What advice/wisdome do u have? Fell free to share stories! :) Thanks for listening and any advice gurls!

[CindyT]

I am a totally different personality,when dressed also.

I am totally female when dressed, and I too would think of assuming the passive roll.

I guess you could say I get those "passionate" feelings too.

Only thing is I don't think I could fool people I know.

[carolynhcd]

I had been crossdressing for years by the time I turned eighteen. I was attracted to girls but I was hopelessly shy around them and I had come to feel that I would die unless I had sex with someone. A girl I was friends with told me of a friend of hers who was gay and happened to point out where he lived. I went to his place one night and pretended I was looking for someone else. He asked me to come in and we talked for a long time. When I stood to go, he kissed me and talked me into going to bed with him. I did and felt very ashamed and confused afterward. Six months later, the girl of my dreams (any man's dreams) asked me to make love to her and I told her I didn't know how. I was disconsolate and she said, "Oh well, I have to fly to New York tomorrow to get an abortion anyway." Romantic, huh? The next girl I got in bed with gave me gonorrhea, and the one after that gave me something else, and the one after that got pregnant the first time we had sex. You'd think I'd have seen a pattern, wouldn't you? I'd been in bed with three women, gotten two dieases and had to sell my car to pay for an abortion. Over the years, I've come to realize that the only thing I had to feel guilty about with the guy is that I was deceptive and kind of used him for sex. If you feel attracted to men, be honest and careful and I think that you will have nothing to feel bad or doubtful about. Hope that helps, love Carolyn