MtF

[MsKelly]

Hello. I've come to accept the fact I wanna be a girl. I love dressing up in the cloths. I live boys and I just feel as if I'm supposed to be a girl. I'm only 18 but I've had this feeling for a long time. When I dress in my dress, I only wish I had a man there to hold me. Obviously sex as a girl would be amazing, but it's not just sex (a little bit(;
It's just being a girl and being who I really truely feel is the real me.

[Rianna Humble]

Hi MsKelly, you don't say where you are, but :welcom: to the Transsexual Forum.

Have you spoken to anyone about these feelings? If not, it would be a good time to start. If you are truly a girl, then this is a good age to act on that fact. Are you at university/college? They often have good therapists/counsellors who can help you to explore this aspect of your life.

[Danika140]

Kelly,

If you are having such strong thoughts and desires (same as I felt at your age) then I agree with Rianna that this is something you need to pursue ONLY if without a shadow of a doubt you know this is the correct choice for you! You are at the age that you do not have a family (wife and kids) to worry about and young enough to transition and start a successful career as a woman without fear of reprisal.

You're definitely in the right spot for loads of information, experience and wisdom! Glad to have you!

v/r
Danika

[Aprilrain]

welcome, the only thing I could wrap my brain around when i was 18 was, "why am I such a freak" usually followed by booze and drugs :devil: so your a step ahead!

your sexual orientation is separate from your gender identity, you can sleep with whoever you want that doesn't change anything. I totally get it though I like boys too:daydreaming:

younger is better for starting transition, physically speaking, however most young people do not have a lot of money which can be a problem. Hormones are cheep, therapy can usually be had on a sliding scale or inexpensively through school but surgeries are expensive!

WHATEVER YOU DO START HAIR REMOVAL YESTERDAY!!!!!!

[MsKelly]

I haven't. I'm not at college yet until end of August. But I have had these feelings since I was 10 or so. I have crossdressed and still do. I love the feeling of the cloths. Where can I even get hormones? I'm just not sure where to start. :(

[Aprilrain]

I'm just not sure where to start. :(

where to start is usually with a therapist. You're 18 so you don't need your parents permission however i assume you still live with them. do they know how you feel? What would they think about all of this?
hormones will come in time so don't worry about that for now.
here is a link you should read
http://www.wpath.org/documents2/socv6.pdf

there is a lot there that you don't need to know but these are the guidelines most therapist will use

[MsKelly]

No. They are big conservatives, and wouldn't accept me. And ya I still live with them. I do everything in secrecy.

[Aprilrain]

Kelly, my parents are very conservative Catholics but have accepted me more or less. when I was a teen the thought of my parents finding out about me was enough to make me want to die! anyone finding out really which is why i stayed closeted for so long. my biggest mistake was marriage and dragging kids into this mess. Kids who call me dad UGH! i hate that word.

[arbon]

No. They are big conservatives, and wouldn't accept me. And ya I still live with them. I do everything in secrecy.

Just be careful not to end up on the street, keep it secret if you have to until you are on your own and have more freedom - Could you see a therapist, or start hair removal if you wanted without your parents finding out?

[Julia_in_Pa]

Kelly,

Heed the advice of Theresa ( Arbon) and others.
Start therapy and see where that leads you.
This is the best place to begin your self discovery.
Remember to be careful and keep your secret secret until you are well entrenched in the freedom of supporting yourself.


Julia

[ReneeT]

MsKelly,
As much as it may feel that way, you are not alone out there. There are lots of resorces to work with and affirm who you are. Take a look here:

http://www.transyouthequality.org/

Where do you live? Many major metro areas offer comprehensive trans services to youth. Please talk to someone!

[MsKelly]

I live in Minnesota. Close to the twin cities. Hair removal. You mean like shaving n such? I guess I'll try to find a therapist to talk to. But I would be a little nervous talking to one as well :/

[Danika140]

It's can be a bit intimidating to talk with a therapist at first but they are there to help you understand this about yourself. A good therapist won't try to tell you what to do, but offer ideas and varying view points to make you think and grow as you learn more of yourself. I was extremely bashful the first time I sat down with a therapist but she was able to make me feel welcomed and accepted, even suggested that I come in to see her dressed up. Point is, as you gain more confidence in yourself, accepting it and talking with others about it just comes second nature.

[MsKelly]

I'll see if I can get into touch with a female therapist. Talk stuff over with her.
Another question is, I have a friend who is a girl. She knows my deal. And accepts me for me, she suggested that I get dressed up with her and take a walk or walk a little bit around the mall or something.

[ReneeT]

I'll see if I can get into touch with a female therapist. Talk stuff over with her.
Another question is, I have a friend who is a girl. She knows my deal. And accepts me for me, she suggested that I get dressed up with her and take a walk or walk a little bit around the mall or something.


MsKelly, you are in luck

http://www.transyouthsupportnetwork.org/.

This organization is in Minnepolis. I think it would be a great place to start. Definately call on us here for help. If you want to talk futher, PM me any time

Renee

[Danika140]

Not a bad idea and it's great that you have a friend that is accepting of you. However, you have to ask yourself, how would your girlfriend feel that another girl is the one standing by you instead of her? This could really hurt her and betray her trust far more than just talking with her about it upfront. I think it's important for you to tell her. She may or may not accept it but she'll respect you more for being honest with her.

Just my opinion of course.

[MsKelly]

I don't have a girlfriend. She's just a really close friend I talk with about this stuff. I only like boys. Lol

[Danika140]

My apologies, I could have sworn I read somewhere that you had a girlfriend. No matter, I say if you feel comfortable about dressing up and going out with your friend then I don't see anything wrong with that. The first time I really went out dressed up was a bit overkill but it was a great experience to say the least. Here is the dress I wore. Just remember to have fun!

[MsKelly]

Cute! I have to get some dresses or something along there. I have one miniskirt n tights. But I don't wanna over do it like you said. Lol

[Aprilrain]

NO, not shaving LOL! like PERMANENT hair removal ie laser or electrolysis.

[MsKelly]

Oooo. I get it. Lol
Are you a transgender. Like you've had the surgery. Sex reassignment I think it's called

[Aprilrain]

I'm TS (transsexual) though TG (transgender) is the medias pet word for us these days. There are a several different acronyms for "sex change" SRS (sex reassignment surgery), GRS (gender reassignment surgery), GCS (gender confirmation surgery) to name a few. To answer your question, no I haven't had SRS yet but will come the first of the year-ish, money reasons. I had FFS (facial femeninization surgery) in January which is typically way more expensive than SRS, probably about twice the cost. If you do not need it consider yourself lucky! One of the requirements for SRS with any of the reputable surgeons is to live full time in your correct gender for a year. It's been about a year for me but I didn't change my name till last August which I consider the start of my RLE (real life experience). By the time I have SRS I will have been full time for about a year and a half.

[MsKelly]

Congrats. I herd money was a big issue. I think I'd need facial fem. lol. When I get back from work, if you wouldn't mind. I have questions regarding transition. I'll be back in a 4 hours. Toddles :)

[MsKelly]

Is there a thread where we can just talk or something like that?
And thank you all for giving me so much support. I'm ready to begin my journey, with your help. Thanks everyone. Love you all. *kisses* :)

[emmicd]

Dear Ms. Kelly,

You are very young and it is very important that you do your "homework". there is a lot of good information being provided to you here and you will certainly have to find your way and ask yourself some very tough questions. i also believe you should find a support group near where you live focussed on young transgendered individuals or near the school you go to. I believe one of the girls here provided you a link that will be a good starting point for you. You should also avail yourself of the internet which is a good way to obtain information but you also need to exercise good judgement. you are a young adult and you have something that should be addressed and not ignored because i can tell you that i too wanted to transition at your age but i am now more than 30 years your senior and find myself still battling the same feelings i had battled as an 18 year old. i am also married with a teenage son and it is very difficult to have to live with gender dysphoria. you need to be completely honest with yourself on this issue and you also should see if you can talk to your family about your feelings if that is something you feel you can. You should also seek out the school psychologist and schedule an appointment to discuss this with them and see if they can help direct you in exploring this. you should also seek girls to talk to about it who you trust just to help be a source of support because it can be a lonely, painful way if you don't start early. you have a prime time to address your feelings now. don't wait!!!! if you are truly transgendered it never goes away! i wish you all my best!

emmi

[christinac]

Is there a thread where we can just talk or something like that?
And thank you all for giving me so much support. I'm ready to begin my journey, with your help. Thanks everyone. Love you all. *kisses* :)

There is a thread on just about everything you could question. Check out some of the closed threads too because they contain some excellent information on like do and don't and what did or did not work.

[MsKelly]

Ya. I've had this feeling to be a girl since I was 9-10 years old watching ballet. Wishing I was dressed like that. I for sure wanna become one. I do have one girl that I talk to bout this

[ameliabee]

Is there a thread where we can just talk or something like that?
And thank you all for giving me so much support. I'm ready to begin my journey, with your help. Thanks everyone. Love you all. *kisses* :)

If you're looking for a chatroom, there are a few IRC channels. I'm partial to #transspace on freenode and the associated sub-reddits.