Do you enjoy being yourself?

[Kate Simmons]

Many gals on here kind of downplay their male lives and experiences and many cast them in a negative light because they would rather be women.Kind of understandable I guess because it is a crossdressing forum. So, my question is do you ever enjoy being yourself as a man? I have come to terms with my own particular duality and understand that there is a time and place for everything. That having been said, when my children were growing up, my family and enjoying my family always came first and the CDing always played second fiddle. Not that it didn't rear it head at the most inopportune times until I finally got a handle on it.

The thing is while it lasted I really enjoyed being a husband and father and wouldn't change that experience one iota. There are definite rewards being a father that cannot be matched, even en femme. Seeing my children laughing and happy gave me a great deal of satisfaction.

Now I have the pleasure of helping with my grandsons and there is nothing like it. I've never been a macho type, never will be but will always be a loving father and grandfather.I feel really blessed to look at life from both sides of the fence but will never totally forsake my manhood for the fore going reasons. How do you all feel about this?:)

[gender_blender]

I enjoy my life's fluidity.

[Lisa X]

I agree with you 100%. I enjoy my life as a man and being a husband and father. Cross dressing is a part of my life and it allows me to express another side of me. I try to keep it in balance and enjoy the CD experience when I can.

Lisa

[Alice Torn]

Good thread Kate. Since i have spent about a tenth of my life working on my cars, and like to fish, and used to play sports, and shoot guns, and have done mainly hard physicaal work, yes, i do value my maleness, and i also have not been macho. Never got to br a husband, or father, though. My human father is a very emotionally immature man, not someone to copy, but, i am a lot like him, anyway. Yes, i try to balance my two sides, but i am in male mode 99% of time.

[AllieSF]

Totally happy being who I am, male 90% of the time and dressed as a female the other 10%. I do in female mode what I also do in male mode. My personality is basically the same, so, I am me and I love me.

[Bree Wagner]

I'm also completely happy with who I am as a man, a husband, and a father. There's no way I'd give that up. It's absolutely full of positive experiences professionally and personally. I can treat crossdressing almost like a hobby that I really, really, enjoy and would do a bit more of if given the opportunity.

-Bree

[Sandra1746]

I also self-identify as transgender. I can't say I have been "diagnosed" as such because I have never gone to a therapist. I saw no need to have someone else tell me what I can figure out for myself. On the Benjamin Scale I am between levels 3 and 4.

What this means is that I drift between Fem and Male personas and dressing modes, almost seamlessly. There is no conflict here, the two sides of my personality inhabit the same mind and body and get along well with each other. I find the Fem side expressed more when I am happy though.

As far as hobbies go, I can find plenty of examples of women who do "rough" work so using that as a distinction is difficult. Being a father is certainly one unique male trait; but I never did that.

I dress regularly in "plain Fem" clothing and have adopted other Fem accessories and traits that I find pleasant. I dress in a skirt and top around home frequently and sometime I may wear one out in public. I like being myself.

Be yourself, however you find yourself,
Sandra1746

[Chardonnay Merlot]

I would go even farther to say that exploring my feminine side in greater detail has made me a better human being as a whole.

On short, I love me some me exactly the way the Good Lord made me. :)

[sandra-leigh]

Hmmm, I don't know. Maybe.

In high-school, mid 1970's, I was part of a small but close group of male friends, 2/3 of whom were amongst the brightest in the school, and with them it was no problem at all to be more intellectually oriented. I think it plausible that in that time and place, a similar group of females would not have been allowed that kind of freedom.

The work I ended up doing... as time progresses, I can see that the boss I ended up working for tends dismiss the accomplishments of women unless they are extraordinarily accomplished. I don't think I would have had the freedoms I've had over the years if I had been female: I suspect that if I had been female, then even if I had worked twice as hard, I would have been judged to fall short. As is sometimes said, "A woman has to work 10 times as hard to be considered an equal."

My solo travels in Europe would probably have been more difficult and risky if I had been female.

These things are not, however, about my enjoying being male: they are about what is sometimes termed "male privilege".

I don't know if there has been anything particular about being male that I have enjoyed. Not that I've hated it either. My adult life has, to a large extent, been a life lived somewhat apart where my gender was not an important consideration.

[Gillian Gigs]

After coming to the point of self acceptance, I can say that I have come to enjoy myself and my life. There are guy things that I do with my sons that I would never do without, and it is getting closer to football season once again. I guess in my case I am a guy that just likes to dress in lingerie and a skirt, lets not forget the shoes too. Womens clothing is interesting and mens are drab, what more can I say. I am just trying to get the best of both worlds, and it seems to be working for me. It also helps having an accepting SO.

[Lesley_Roberta]

It's not easy.

First off Leslie hates men (its all the history he learned), it has poisoned his feelings towards his gender.
Second, well, I wish I could just snap my fingers and be as female as my wife is. Then I wouldn't need to even be here learning about crossdressing.
But the problem is A. Leslie is still here, and B. he's a married man. And snapping my fingers, becoming a real female would tend to ruin Leslie's sex life not to mention it does tend to leave his wife out in the cold, and would really bugger up father's day.

And I tend to be something of a hostile feminist when I don't hold myself in check.

Not easy 'liking' myself considering the above. And being stuck in this classic looking out of shape older male body doesn't do a lot for my mood. I was sitting in Timm Horton's today, observing guy after guy walk in, typical jeans, typical gut, typical belt stuck way low under that gut. Yuck. I am sure I look fairly similar even if my waist is maybe a lot less sag in front. But it's still there. And really, that sort of shape, makes wearing a skirt or dress just a bad idea. Ideally, I want to be able to just pass on fake boobs and just play the 'I'm a flat chested girl' look. Hey not all girls have big boobs. But with a male pattern male gut, it isn't going to work.

So I am hammering away at loosing the weight. Not easy though. Shopping today and looking at the Lean this, and Fat free that and 50% less fat and Blue Menu labels and realising, I likely will need to start being more interested in eating more ruthlessly managed intakes of that which makes us fat. Because just walking is alright, but it is slow, and well, all the walking is beating the hell out of the legs too.

I am not having a lot of success 'liking' Leslie's things. I feel like a stranger in my own home. Just can't seem to relate.

The baths help, the scents help. I am thinking of legally changing my name to Lesley Roberta [insert surname here]. Doesn't produce any problems for other family members where surname is concerned, and I get to feel like I am really the me I want to be 'see, here's my credit card, I really am Lesley Roberta'.

[Stephanie47]

I have been perfectly content being a male and doing "male things" with my family. Letting Stephanie push her twin brother away for periods of time has actually made her twin brother a better man.

[Kelley]

I like my male side as much as my female side I love doing the things men do including being a father to a son and a husband to my wife. I also love the variety in life my femme side gives me. I guess you can say we have the best of both worlds

[sissystephanie]

I have always enjoyed being myself!! First and foremost I am a man. Yes, I do love to wear feminine clothing, but underneath those things I am still a man and always will be!! I do not have, and never have had, any desire to actually be a woman. I had a very happy married life for almost 50 years before cancer took her, and my children think I should live to be at least 100 years old. That means that I have 20 years to go!! BTW, my 2 children do know that I crossdress and don't care as long as they don't see me dressed!

[Beverley Sims]

I also enjoy both sides of the fence.
The grass really is green on both sides.:)

[Jennifer W]

As I have no desire to be female, I do indeed enjoy being a man. I'm not a handy-man by any means, but I can do some guy things and what I can't do my son usually helps with. As I've stated before, I just happen to like lingerie. Everyone has their own desires and my desire is to be a man who has a fairly good grip on his feminine side and isn't afraid of it.

[PretzelGirl]

I am not a man who hates his femininity and I am not a man who is very masculine. In life we should accept all that we are and enjoy life and each other. So I enjoy all of what I am. I don't see my femme side as "rearing its ugly head" because there is nothing ugly about it. Enjoy what you have and life's pleasures are that much greater.

[Alice B]

All the time I have a very good life on both sides of the coin.

[CaseyMarie]

I enjoy both. I get a similar but very different feeling when I dress "all man" so to speak. I really enjoy almost all aspects of my life( going through a divorce is a real bummer) and being a crossdresser just give me more variety to enjoy.

[BRANDYJ]

Yes, I enjoy being me. More male then female, but enjoy all facets of who I am and would not change a thing.

[Joslin]

I to am in male mode 99% of the time I'm a full time mechanic so I get very dirty and have very little time to go to enfemme mode and my wife at the moment doesn't want me to dress so yes I do like being a male but given the opportunity I would like to explore the female side a little more

[natacsha]

Hi Kate! very cool thread! and I can say for myself, it's been a harder struggle to enjoy being natacsha than him..I've always taken pleasure in being and doing the male things I do. I think somewhere along the lines, there came a period where I resented not being able to dress or express myself as often as I would've liked and I took it out on my male self. I got to that point where I wanted to purge all my male clothes and just take up a lifestyle I knew was impossible for me at that time. I think that contributed to me disliking myself for the wrong reasons. It didn't take too long for me to accept the fact that I couldn't live as a female all the time and so I was left with no choice but to re-embrace my male side. and successfully so. I have been somewhat sporadic and inconsistent with regards to being a little hard on myself because I fall into that category of people that identify as TG or TS...still not sure exactly where or what the difference is.....all I know is that in male mode I feel like female. Mostly. that complicates things for me because I feel that dressing up is more geared towards being and feeling normal rather than in male mode where I feel like everything is thrown off wack. I just feel as though my natural state of being is ACTING like a male and not being one. But again, despite the struggles, it's pointless to try and fight off something that isn't going anywhere and a sex change seems remote. My mentality is simple. If you have no control over something then you are left with no choice but to accept things as they are and to make the best of whatever the situation calls for...at all times. So, yes. I do and will continue to enjoy being me. I just have to adapt to a new way of life now that I am comfortable and accepting of her as well. I intend on making her a bigger part of my life as soon as resources allow for it. One image I have for starters is when I begin nursing school and nursing, to wear pink or purple scrubs and maybe some light eyeliner to let people know. that is waaaaaaay different than how I have always presented myself and I look forward to not having to worry about it. That will be soo cool!! I can't wait! :daydreaming: XOXOXOX

[Renee W]

I enjoy just being me, whether I'm wearing guy clothes mowing the grass and working on the cars or if I'm alll dolled up playing with makeup. Being a crossdresser just means I have double the options for having fun.

[Kate Simmons]

Well Nat, the femme part of me is always in there, it's just that I choose when and where to bring her out. I could do it indefinitely if I wanted but when I'm needed as a Dad or Grandad, I have no hesitation fulfilling those roles. Really my most happiness in femme mode is when I'm being an action/adventuress.;):)

[CynthiaD]

I'm a woman with male body parts, and I'm quite happy the way I am. I've spent most of my life pretending to be male, and I enjoy doing that. It took me a long time to accept the truth about myself, though. Pretending to be male is a lot more fun now that I've fully accepted the fact that I'm not really male. Before that, the daily grind of playing the male role used to really get to me. Especially since I used to make a lot of mistakes. I'd spend a lot of time trying to figure out what I was supposed to like and dislike, what was supposed to make me mad, what was supposed to make me happy, etc. Etc. Etc. Now that I've accepted that the whole thing is just an act, everything is a lot easier. I spend as much time as I can dressing and acting like a woman. When I must play the male role, I can do so with verve and passion, knowing that in a few hours I'll be wearing breastforms and a skirt, and acting like my true self.

[anouk]

As a crossdresser I'm very happy with my female part, my personality is pretty much my ideal, both a strong and sensitive woman (well, maybe a bit too vain though...). I don't enjoy my male life much, I just don't like things that make man's life "something", like hunting, sports etc. However I'm quite happy with my male personality very far from macho world. Thus my "full personality" fits well to area that is lead by neither too much testosterone nor estrogen.

[Bobbie cd]

It took me a long time to get past all the fear, shame, guilt, etc. to finally figure out that for me, personality was far more important than anatomy.
Yes, I was born anatomically male, nothing anyone can do to change that.
That does not mean that I HAVE to "BE A MAN".
I no longer care so much about labels, or living up to other people's expectation.
Whether you consider me an effeminate male, a cross-dresser, or a pre-operative MTF transsexual, doesn't really matter. (Not to me anyway, sorry.)
The only label I choose, is "ME".
I retain my male legal identity because there really is no other reasonable choice for me in this state.
People in my office know me by my male name as they have for 3 decades, that is a lot of inertia to overcome and no real gain to be had from fighting that battle.
Instead, I chose to simply make gradual changes in my appearance and clothes choices to allow the real me to show through bit by bit.
I am just as comfortable in grubby jeans and torn Harley shirt working on my Panhead as I am in nice femme jeans and a blouse buying groceries.
It was fun though a few weeks ago running around dressed like a soccer mom shopping for a new HD TV.
It was hard not to laugh at the expression on some of the sales staff faces when they started their spiels on me only to have me "GEEK" out on them, LOL.
When someone dressed like a soccer mom starts spouting refresh rate cycle specs and such at them it tends to make their eyes glaze over.
The only person that I really still try to maintain a form of male persona around is my 82 year old father, out of respect for him.
Even so, the outward changes are already too far pronounced for him to be completely oblivious about it, but we both do our best to keep it from being an issue.
With my mother and older brother both being gone, I am about the only real family he has left in the area, and I know that he still loves me, he just doesn't really get it, so he just kind of ignores it. It is sort of a generational thing.

Otherwise, I have pretty much given up trying to count percentages of which side of the apparent gender divide I am spending time on.
I am too busy being myself and trying to live my life to worry about it.

In the end, you have to answer to yourself for your own life.
Just be you.

[Persephone]

I love being me! After all, I've basically lived two lives (but, alas, in the time of one), switching back and forth between girlworld and boyworld quite regularly.

But despite my protests I was raised male. Much of that was horrible because, face it, I never made a very good boy. I was lousy at "boy sports." I couldn't throw nor pitch a ball worth a damn. (I still remember one particularly horrifying moment in 2nd or 3rd grade when I was up at bat and the entire field drew within about 10 to 15 feet, taunting me to hit the ball).

Still, I'm sure I profited from what Sandra-Leigh referred to by the often overused, and frequently terribly abused, term "male privilege." From around age 20 to age 45/50 I was a full-blown Alpha Male, always in charge, always in control. I could pull "commanding presence" out of my hat any time I wanted.

I married an incredible, wonderful woman and have raised a truly terrific son.

And yes, I have male hobbies and interests. After all, I was raised as a guy. Years ago I worked on my own cars, I know how to drink beer, swear, burp, fart, and piss in the snow. I enjoy hiking, backpacking, shooting, and other "guy" things (although many women engage in these things too, and I can see no reason that I can't continue to enjoy them as a woman - well, except for the peeing, burping, farting, swearing part).

But I also enjoy many activities that are usually defined as "female." I cook, bake, sew, knit, I read, often prefer girly romance movies to shoot-'em-ups, love plays and museums, and can carry on conversations that extend beyond short sentences. (Yes, I do know "men" who can have meaningful conversations too, but face it, "When female subjects were asked to recall vocabulary and definitions, the entire brain lit up like a Christmas tree. The male brain on the other hand, only had highly concentrated neuron activity in the left hemisphere Male/Female Differences, Tarleton University paper (http://www.tarleton.edu/~sanderson/Male%20Female%20Differences.doc).

I love the opportunity to walk on both sides and to just be, well, me!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[KellyJameson]

I gave up trying to live in the male role.

You cannot put a square peg in a round hole but I think I would have enjoyed it.

I think men and women who are able to move seamlessly between both gender worlds are the fortunate ones but nature and circumstance did not give me a choice and I was pushed to far out of balance to participate.

[Lesley_Roberta]

Round pegs and square holes :)

But what about me, I'm a triangle damn it :)

[Kate Simmons]

Many of us are very adept at putting round pegs in square holes and even triangular ones my friends. If the conditions don't allow for it, we change the conditions much like Admiral Kirk did in the Cadet impossible "Kobayashi Maru" test in "Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan." It's our program, high time we changed it to make it work for us, no?;):)

[Brittany CD]

I enjoy being my male self very much

[Frédérique]

Do you enjoy being yourself?

I’ve been myself for so long I know of no other way to BE... :doh:


Many gals on here kind of downplay their male lives and experiences and many cast them in a negative light because they would rather be women. Kind of understandable I guess because it is a crossdressing forum. So, my question is do you ever enjoy being yourself as a man?

It all depends what your definition of “man” entails. I enjoy being a male, specifically a boy, and that feeling firmly entrenches me in the crossdresser camp, since I dress up on occasion purely for pleasure. I don’t fill my head with the obligatory transgendered thoughts, but I tend to observe and comment upon the type of male behavior I wish to distance myself from – I’m constantly reeling my male self in, and letting HER be more visible...

As such, the male that I am is quite different from the male others would want me to be, but this is the version that pleases ME. I don’t want to actually be a woman (which was another one of your questions, I believe), so I use what I have and push the proverbial envelope in gender terms. Not to do so would be downright criminal, since I would be very unhappy as a typical male, doing typical male things – being “myself” means dressing up to let the “self” see the light of day, and she is very pretty...
:battingeyelashes:

[Xrys]

You chose interesting wording for your question. Do I enjoy Being myself? To be honest, I am not quite sure. The me that I have been, I feel is not really me, but a list of traits and responses I copied from other males growing up in order to blend in. I have been wearing this costume so long, I have forgotten most of the real me. I am so anxious to start therapy, so I can start putting come cracks in this disguize I have hidden behind. I can't wait to meet myself. I expect to enjoy being myself. Right now, however, I dont think I really know her well enough to say.

[ronda]

i love my fem side but i would not want to give up being Pop Pop to my grand childern yesterday afternoon my 7 year old grand daugher got up on my lap and took a nap would not trade that for anything of course she could do that to grandmas lap to i enjoy both sides of my self

[natacsha]

Many of us are very adept at putting round pegs in square holes and even triangular ones my friends. If the conditions don't allow for it, we change the conditions much like Admiral Kirk did in the Cadet impossible "Kobayashi Maru" test in "Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan." It's our program, high time we changed it to make it work for us, no?;):)

HILARIOUSSSS!!!! LMAO!! You are a special one Kate! lol As per your comment earlier, I guess I'm both lucky and unlucky to not have children....definitely lucky there aren't any grandkids!! haha :D

[Marleena]

Another great thread Kate!

After 50+ years of being a guy I have it down to a science.:) I only use it for family obligations now, I prefer female mode. Things sometimes change for the better.

[ArleneRaquel]

I enjoy being Arlene and I dress as female as close to 24/7 as possible.

[daarleane]

Yes I do enjoy my male self, however I also enjoy escaping from my male self some of the time. I get tired of playing the male role sometimes and just want to escape the responsibilities and slip off into a nicer, softer world. Even if it is somewhat fictional.

[Debglam]

I'm in a pretty good place right now Kate. I love being bigendered (I'm starting to love this word too.)! It has taken a lot of suffering in the past and a lot of luck, but I love my family, love being the "man" in their lives and I love the fact I can be the closest approximation of the "woman" I wanted to be when I was a kid.

My life is complicated, in fact more complicated (IMO) than it would be if I was 100% one gender or the other. Right now, I wouldn't trade it though.

Debby

[suchacutie]

I really do consider myself bi-gendered. I love both sides of me! In the best of all worlds I'd exist for 2 or 3 days in one gender and then 2 or 3 days in the other!

My gendered selves have clear differences (my wife describes it as two apps working off the same database!) and I very much enjoy and want to keep very much alive both sides of me! Vive la difference!

us...

[Lesley_Roberta]

Good reply Kate (trek). You can always tell when someone has a lot of time in in life, they have seen a lot and have a lot to work with.

I suppose I could like myself a little easier, if a few of my friends found it easier to like me as I am. I am not sure if I am making them feel 'awkward'.

I can picture them musing 'Is he just waiting to tell us he's gay?'. I mean that would be a more cliche typical muse I suppose. I can't really see a lot of my family and friends leaping to 'oh, he's TG, I never saw that coming'. I can't even see most people being able to know half of the variations of people we have on site here. I didn't know most of the variations at first. I was doing a lot of Googling and Wiki reading the first couple of days here.

[natacsha]

Lesley, I just finished telling most of the people in my life that I was bi. that was a first. it felt ok talking to them about it because I know that they may have already suspected it. telling them was not easy but the responses I got were incredible. If done properly and expressed from your heart, there are few people that will reject it. my family doesn't need to know. but I wouldn't care if the found out..telling people I dress was done at the same time. that seemed to be more shocking than being bi. it doesn't change the friendship at all unless you start thinking they are just "tolerating" it, or feel as though you are constantly walking on thin ice and afraid to talk because you may say the wrong thing....just be the same exact person, hold your head high and just keep on keepin on!! XOXOXO

[Cassi3]

Although my transition was placed on hold and I've had to start that journey again, I can honestly say that there are many things I accomplished and experienced that I would never trade or regret. Specially all the traveling I've done, would trade that.

[kimdl93]

I certainly enjoy the relationships I have with my children, siblings and friends. Even though I was "outed" to many of them by my ex some years ago, I don't forsee redefining myself in these relationships.

[Lorileah]

The only time I even think about my gender is when I want to do something most people feel is more feminine. In daily life I don't think of me as being a guy. Thus, yes I do derive pleasure from being a male...sometimes :). I also dislike being a guy sometimes. But usually I just enjoy being me.

[Karren H]

I am a man!! And I enjoy myself (most of the time). Ergo...... Do the math.... What clothing I wear doesn't effect my happiness.... Only my looks....

[Tina B.]

This is my third try to answer this this morning, so I give up explaining my answer, and I will just say YES, I do enjoy my male role, very much.
Tina B.

[kristinacd55]

I enjoy both of my lives, in reality I'm the same person either way so being happy within is the key. If you're happy within, then you can project out to the world a calm and serene personality. Ohmmmmm......

[Kate Simmons]

Yep, and I actually take it a step farther Kristin. I have nothing to prove to anyone and my motives are really altruistic as the male and female energies are balanced.:)

[TiffanyGreene]

For me, CDing is fun and thrilling. I have no desire to be female, or transition into one. I enjoy being male. I am happily married, and have a great wife and kids. I enjoy typical guy things. Hunting, fishing, trucks (mine is a redneck dream), playing poker with the guys, etc etc. I see my thoughts and feelings being mostly male. I will say that when i first started getting into this, i was worried where it would take me. Was I a freak? Was I supposed to be a girl? Why is wearing girl clothing so much fun? Would I eventually want a sex change? Am I gay? I went through lots of thoughts and questions to myself. Thirty plus years into this life, I think I have it figured out. I am your typical, everyday guy who likes wearing little black dresses and sexy high heels!

[DMichele]

Do I enjoy myself? Yes, I do no manner what mode I am in; where I am at; or whom I'm with. I strive to find ways to have fun no matter what; not to take life too seriously; and be able laugh at myself. Accepting my fem side takes less energy and is less stressful than trying to suppress it. It can be a breath of freah air if one allows it in.

[Helen_Highwater]

If I could spend more quality time fem then I would but there is no desire to go 100%. There are aspects of my life that are better spent as the male I am. Taking on the alterego gives me opportunities to experience a different perspectives which helps to give balance to my life. I suppose it's like going on holiday; while you may totally enjoy your stay in a new place, you always look forward to sleeping in your own bed again!