Maybe the universe is not taking care of me as much as I though. Part 2

[Mistress Frillee]

Read my other thread to get the background info.

Ok, one of my female friends has put this all in perspective. She said this is just a fling, thats why its moving so fast. She wants a fling with someone who is a bit unusual. Thats why she left in the morning at 815 yesterday after spending the night. Thats why she closed her account on the dating site we met on, thats why she said what she said when I asked her to define what kind of relationship we are in…...

I am going to ask this woman about this and see what she says. I am all about truth. I am kinda pissed she did not say this right up front. But it all makes sense now.

Here is a link to the first thread hat fills you in on whats going on…

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?175063-Sometimes-the-universe-takes-care-of-you-in-a-BIG-WAY!!!!!&highlight=

[Beverley Sims]

I really think you should move on and as you can see now take things carefully and discreetly.

[Mistress Frillee]

Move on? I am seeing her tonight!

SO here is what I have figured out today. 3 things came to light recently. We have been moving extremely fast in the sexual arena. She closed her account on the dating site we met on, and she could not define what we are, either in a relationship, gf/bf/dating whatever.

So I came to this conclusion. She wants to have a fling with someone usual and I fit the bill. Thats why she closed her account on that site, she does not want to meet anyone serious. Thats why she could not define what we are, we just are! Thats why she left at 815 saturday morning after staying the night. Its not a relationship, its a fling! I get it. I just wish she would have told me upfront. She wants the romance and roses and intimacy and pillow talk and the holding hands in public part of a relationship BUT not a relationship. We are friends with benefits PLUS!

I dont like to take things slow, I am like the FLASH, moving at the speed of light! FAST! FAST! FAST!
So this woman set the record (for me anyways) for having sex after meeting for the first time and having it NOT be a one night stand. Fastest time after meeting someone on a first date and having sex between date 1 & 2, 5 days. I have known her 13 days and we have pretty much done it all. So its all good!

Different prespectives are good (which is what I really wanted here), now I have my head out of the clouds and can get back into the game. Lets see……now I can get more direct in terms of what I want in the bedroom, dont have to worry about going too far as I understand what we are now. THERE IS NO HAPPILY EVER AFTER, THERE IS ONLY THE NOW!:D:Peace: Before I was overwhelmed, now I am firmly in the drivers seat!


SO there you have it, John-Paul Sartre was right when he wrote, "hell is other people!"

[Alice B]

Keep your expetications low and simple enjoy it for what it is. If nothing more comes from it, you had fun. If something more comes from it you are very lucky.

[outhiking]

Sometimes the best things in life come when we aren't looking for them. Looks like your keeping a strong attitude and good for you.

[docrobbysherry]

"While I love your enthusiasm, it sounds like you're almost engaged after the second date, Frillee! While I don't claim to be a romantic, I HAVE had some experience with GGs! And, I suggest a LONG engagement! (Minimum 3 years, maximum--------------------!)"

I wrote that response to your first thread because I was worried about u, Mistress! U sounded like u lived a very sheltered life!

I'm happy to find out u haven't a broken heart and instead r looking forward to all the GOOD THINGS u can receive from this relationship now! You've nothing to lose so, u GO GIRL!

[Barbara Ella]

So very good to remain positive, cause life is gonna go on regardless. You never know when things will happen, so if you can keep your happy in the now, and keep all the nows in the happy, you just may end up happy.

Barbara

[ReineD]

It will be interesting to read the updates. Please let us know how it goes. :)

[Mistress Frillee]

Got together with her last night and it was casual. We went for a walk in a park, then back to her place to sit on the deck, drink tea and make out on the deck. As I left, I told her I would see her soon but never set a date! I was real slick! It was all good.

Here is something that really turns me on. She likes it when I wear feminine, multi colored, crazy designs on them panties! I had on a pair of nylon blue and yellow and pink floral panties on and she thought they were cool! W@W! hat was so hot!!!!

[jillleanne]

Hey, don't get all pissy at her for only wanting a fling? You don't even know if that is what she was thinking at the beginning of the relationship. That's all some guys(pigs) ever want particularly after they say, "I do! " She is full of life and questions and wants to experience all life has to offer. What's wrong with that? Best to do it at a young age while one is able. If your agenda's do not line up then , that's life in the fast lane. Don't hold that against her. If this relationship is to become something longterm, it will do so on it's own. Nothing you do to force it to work will help. Have fun while it lasts and if it lasts a lifetime, bonus.

[Tina B.]

So whats wrong with being someones booty call, Friends with benefits, has it's advantages, it leaves you free to find someone else, that does want more, while keeping you from getting sexually frustrated from lack of companionship.
At least she has been honest, even if she doesn't want as much as you may want. Live is short, enjoy what you got, instead of worrying about what you don't have.
Tina B.

[Stephanie47]

It takes two to have a fling. It takes two to have consensual sex. If you thought she was being two aggressive in participating in sex, why didn't you put up the stop sign? And, how many guys are in it for one night stands or limited hookups. Women can use men too! I'd say closing her account on a dating site is a positive sign she is interested in you. Maybe, she has a thing for guys who wear panties.

[Mistress Frillee]

So whats wrong with being someones booty call, Friends with benefits, has it's advantages, it leaves you free to find someone else, that does want more, while keeping you from getting sexually frustrated from lack of companionship.
At least she has been honest, even if she doesn't want as much as you may want. Live is short, enjoy what you got, instead of worrying about what you don't have.
Tina B.

Actually, no she has not been honest. This is what I think she wants. I really dont know, but I am just going with it. I have said NOTHING to her. Just going with the flow. And she said she was going to close her account before she met me, so her closing it has nothing to do with me.

And why would I stop her if she is ripping off her clothes? Do you know what she told me last night? She said she told one of her friends that a guy (me) was cooking for her, and then she is getting naked on his couch! W@W!

Also, we met off a dating site, so you would figure, since everyone is paying $$$ there would not be people there just for sex. They already have sites specially for that. This site is not for that.

[natacsha]

Hi mistress frillee! May I ask, did you have any influence in her removing her dating site or did she do it voluntarily?? Thanks xoxoxo

[kellycan27]

I don't get why only after two weeks you're trying to define whether or not it's a relationship, fling or what have you. How can you say that you don't feel she's been honest... How can she possibly know where it's headed only after two weeks? How could you possibly know for that matter?


Kel

[docrobbysherry]

What Kelly said! And, how did she see your cool panties if all u did was make out, Mistress?

[Mistress Frillee]

What Kelly said! And, how did she see your cool panties if all u did was make out, Mistress?

I showed her my panties, I slipped my jeans down. When we make out, OFF come the clothes and we strip down to panties. I consider making out to be everything except sex.

She said she was going to take down her profile from the dating site the first time she met me, so I had nothing to do with it. She was going to take it down regardless.

Here is what she told me she told her friends. She said, "I told my friends a guy was cooking for me, then I am going to be naked on his couch!"

Comments like that and the other things I said make me think this is a fling, nothing more. She sounds like a teenager, not a woman when she says stuff like that. She tells me stuff like this, what am I to think?

She also said her friends called her a **** for asking me to cook for her on the third date!

She is the fling girl and I treat her as such! I get all I can and have no worries. I am already stylin 2 other woman. So no worries.

[kimdl93]

Don't jump to conclusions. You may be misjudging her. I think the thing to do is to be open, honest, fair and have no expectations (positive or negative). Be open to what she would like and be honest about what you like.

And since when is a fling a bad thing....???

[kellycan27]

I showed her my panties, I slipped my jeans down. When we make out, OFF come the clothes and we strip down to panties. I consider making out to be everything except sex.

She said she was going to take down her profile from the dating site the first time she met me, so I had nothing to do with it. She was going to take it down regardless.

Here is what she told me she told her friends. She said, "I told my friends a guy was cooking for me, then I am going to be naked on his couch!"

Comments like that and the other things I said make me think this is a fling, nothing more. She sounds like a teenager, not a woman when she says stuff like that. She tells me stuff like this, what am I to think?

She also said her friends called her a **** for asking me to cook for her on the third date!

She is the fling girl and I treat her as such! I get all I can and have no worries. I am already stylin 2 other woman. So no worries.

I don't know maybe it's me, but the things that you are saying are starting to sound more like fantasy than fact. You meet this girl and "out of the blue" she asks you about panty shopping with past g/f's or something to that effect.( you wear panties and suddenly even though it was a secret... ( so that's your big secret?) she brings up the topic of panties? Really? Then you're upset because you don't think she was honest with you as to what she was looking for ( relationship or fling). Now it basically doesn't matter because you're just using her for "all you can get" and besides..... you have two other girls on the side. Speaking of sounding like a teenager............ this smacks of the pot calling the kettle black. Actually.. this is starting to move from sounding like fantasy and more into the realm of BS.
Kelly

Reine
Might I make a suggestion? You may want to put your boots on before you read the updates. Just saying................. :battingeyelashes:

[Mistress Frillee]

She did not bring up the panties, I told her I have taken many past gfs panty shopping, so I am something of a panty expert. SO when she asked about the panty shopping, I told her. She is really into shoes and lingerie. Thats why she brought it up.

And we met off a dating site, NOT a sex/fling site, so yes, the expectation is that people on this site are serious, not out for a fling. it does not say anything about a fling on her profile!
Why cant people be honest and just say what they want!

[Mistress Frillee]

Ok, so things are going swimmingly with fling girl. I am playing it kool. So she left early on Saturday, I actually dont care!

And I did get to spend some alone time with my younger 20 something female friend. Perhaps this might develop into something more. I wonder if she can sense this. She has mentioned that she is oblivious when it comes to guys and their intentions. We have become really close in the last few weeks. I have known her for over 2 years. She also knows all about my particular fashion sense and is totally cool with it. I did test her yesterday to see what she would do. She started texting me in the morning, which continued until mid afternoon. (we usually have massive 3-5 hour text sessions!) Then I told her that I am getting kicked out of my place for about 1 hour (dont ask) and I wish I really have somewhere to go or something to do. She replied that I can come see her at her friends. I ignored her reply and kept texting, then threw her a bone and told her I can pick her up and we can go hang out for a while, then I can drive her to work. She accepted my invitation. We are also going to get together later on and spent an afternoon together. We share a common group of friends, so I see her on a regular basis (go to bars for drinks, movies, parties, etc). I saw her again later the same night when a group of us when to a bar, then a movie. So there you have it.

[ReineD]

You threw her a bone?

OK, I know it's only an expression, but still .... :)

Sorry it didn't work out with the fling girl, but I guess that was to be expected. She had made her intentions clear which is to her credit. I hope this other relationship develops. What is the age difference between you two?

[Mistress Frillee]

You dont want to know. Its over 20 years! But she does prefer old guys. I prefer younger women. And I am still seeing (Thats not right word, but I can find no other) fling girl. But its causal. We do not make plans, we (meaning her) texts me and asks if we can get together.

One group of friends I have consists of people in their 20s/30s/40s

[ReineD]

You should give the dating site another go. Just keep looking, eventually you'll find the right one. A 20 year age gap isn't so bad at your ages. The issues develop when you are in your 70s and she is in her 50s.

[Rebecca Star]

I don't know maybe it's me, but the things that you are saying are starting to sound more like fantasy than fact. You meet this girl and "out of the blue" she asks you about panty shopping with past g/f's or something to that effect.( you wear panties and suddenly even though it was a secret... ( so that's your big secret?) she brings up the topic of panties? Really? Then you're upset because you don't think she was honest with you as to what she was looking for ( relationship or fling). Now it basically doesn't matter because you're just using her for "all you can get" and besides..... you have two other girls on the side. Speaking of sounding like a teenager............ this smacks of the pot calling the kettle black.

Actually.. this is starting to move from sounding like fantasy and more into the realm of BS.

When you read the entire story back to back, not only is it convoluted but it starts to sound stranger than fiction.


Any woman I date has to know, understand, and encourage my particular fashion sense. No 10 ways around it. I am not ashamed of it, IT IS PART OF WHO I AM....

So the issue came up in a round about way on the second date. She asked me about my taking past gfs on panty buying trips, then asked me what kind of undies I like.

In my years I've had numerous dates with some pretty out there, try just about anything kinda girls. Not once has any of these dates every asked me what I like to wear (dressing) before I told them my little secret.


So I grabbed 20 seconds of courage and told her on the second date!

Either I've got it wrong or you've said this girl asked you all about your panty buying shoppingg trips et...al before you got 20 sec of courage and told her you little secret...

IDK maybe this belongs down in http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?22-Writer-s-Society

[Mistress Frillee]

Yes, she asked me because I told her that I like to take women on panty shopping trips. She has never heard a guy doing that, so she inquired. Thats when I decided to grab some courage and just tell her that I like panty shopping so much because some of the panties I buy are for me!

[Mistress Frillee]

Ok, boys and girls, the younger woman started texting me last night after our Saturday time together. She asked me to get together with her and her ALONE either this Wednesday or Thursday and Friday night for beers. (again alone!) for Friday beers. No group of friends. What do you make of this development?

So I am thinking this chick is into me. I could be wrong. But this was all her, not me! I am thinking because I told her about fling girl, she wants what she cant have! I feel like Sara Connor, I have been targeted for termination by this younger woman!

Fling girl wants to see where this thing will go. The FACT that she was willing to introduce me to her friends suggests that she is interested in more. The fact that she went with me to Avengers suggests she is trying to be a part of my world. The fact that I blew off her friends suggests to her that I am not interested in anything long term with her. (which I am trying to fix).

My friend says its too late and fling girl and I are done because I blew off her friends! She is going out of town with a friend this weekend. My friends says that I am going to come up as a topic of conversation. He says fling girls friend is going to say something like this, " Yes, the sex is great with your guy but he blew off your friends, this guy is a jack#@! so dump him!"

Am I correct ?

[Mistress Frillee]

SO I was able to fix the "blowing off her friends " thing. Fling girl is cool with my panty wearing and womens jeans. In fact, she said she will have to get me some girly jeans with blink! LOL The sex is great. Her words, not mine. Fling girl does has an appetite for sex. I have never met a woman like this. I am going to ask her what some of her fantaties are, sexually speaking. Since I have 2 months off in the summer, we will get together a lot. I am going to take her for lunch in the next few weeks. Basically, this woman will be testing me to see if I have any of the qualities that let to her husband and her divorcing. For example, if she wants to get together and I have work assignments to complete, then I have to refuse her. But if she wants to get together and I have some other pressing need and cannot see her, then she will see this as a pattern. It will signal to her that she is not a priority in my life and she will bolt. She just wants to know that I care about her and will listen to her feelings and make her a priority in my life. Generally speaking, woman are insecure creatures.

I still see the younger woman. She texts me a lot (almost everyday for hours) and we see each other in our group. Last week, I saw her 3 times one on one plus our group meetings plus daily texting. We are suppose to get together in 2-3 weeks and spend a Wednesday together. I doubt this is anything more than friends. But she sure does like my attention. We have become close in the last 5 weeks. But all this might be due to her age. 20 somethings love to text. 20 something women like attention. BUt I also know that she does not just like attention from anyone. She is not an attract woman. She will not turn heads in a crowd.

I like how whenever I pick her up she waits for me at the door! I never have to go get her, she is always ready and waiting! "For now, She is kinda digging the single life," is what she said. YES, but she WANTS a guy to take care of her and be in a relationship. She likes guys to call the shots and take care of everything. SHE CRAVES ATTENTION and enjoys company more so that being alone.

If she was so digging the single life like she said, she would not crave attention. She is lonely even though she will not admit it. Why is she always near her phone at the ready to respond to any text message if she is so busy digging the single life?

This woman is submissive. She admitted this to me. She prefers to be submissive. She likes to take marching orders. I have tested her and told her what to do just to see if she will do it and she jumps!. SO I can say that this woman likes dominate men and she likes them older. She is in her 20s, I am over twice her age!

[Julogden]

Not to be the party pooper, but if you have significant material goods, i.e. own your own home, a bank account, decent car, etc., proceed with at least a bit of caution. A CD friend of mine met someone who sounds similar to your friend. She was very cute (and decades younger than my friend), dressed to the nines, was totally supportive of his dressing and the community in general, and before anyone knew it, they were married. At that point, she turned 180 degrees: wouldn't tolerate him dressing in any way, shape or form, and within a couple months, she divorced him and absolutely cleaned him out, she got the house, car and most of the bank account.

I'm not saying that your girlfriend is planning on doing that to you, but please be careful.

Carol

[Ms Mira]

Sounds like you're living in the moment, which is how life should go.

[Mistress Frillee]

Not to be the party pooper, but if you have significant material goods, i.e. own your own home, a bank account, decent car, etc., proceed with at least a bit of caution. A CD friend of mine met someone who sounds similar to your friend. She was very cute (and decades younger than my friend), dressed to the nines, was totally supportive of his dressing and the community in general, and before anyone knew it, they were married. At that point, she turned 180 degrees: wouldn't tolerate him dressing in any way, shape or form, and within a couple months, she divorced him and absolutely cleaned him out, she got the house, car and most of the bank account.

I'm not saying that your girlfriend is planning on doing that to you, but please be careful.

Carol


The younger woman is NOT a looker or head turner. She does NOT find cross dressing attractive in a guy. She does not dress to the nines. She is submissive. She is not my gf, fling girl is. I think you are confusing the 2 women.

[Julogden]

Okay, good, I hope it goes great for you, just be careful. ;)

Carol

[TxKimberly]

I've never actually had a "fling", but I gotta admit that it doesn't sound like too bad a deal. If all she wants is a fling, then what the hell - enjoy the ride.

[Mistress Frillee]

Ok, so one of my friends ed the younger woman and asked her if there was anything going on as we spend so much time together. She said we are just friends, then he asked even a little nookie NO, just NO!

I never he did this but he said it was to stop me from derailing the good thing I have with fling girl.

So can and me we still be friends? She does not know that he told me this! He told me NOT to act strange.

Now I am concenrating on fling girl. She is not really a fling, I though she was. We go out, we have sex, (after 5 days of meeting) which leads to more sex, which leads to dating, which leads to a relationship. Thats the way I see it. Fling girl did say that SEX is a big part of a relationship. She said if the sex is not there, she is out. SO I KNEW I had to step up my game. She admitted we have great sex because I asked her to spice it up. She said lets concentrate on the great sex now and we can spice it up later. I am going to ask her about her fantasties! I am seeing her today and Sunday and next tuesday and the July long weekend.

[Mistress Frillee]

This weekend fling girl made this observation. "Hey, we are wearing matching panties!" LOL
such a turn on!