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Frédérique
06-05-2012, 11:57 PM
“AWK- WERRRRRD!” (from a TV commercial)

I’m sure many of us went through an awkward phase when we first began crossdressing, or perhaps you’re in the midst of an awkward period at the moment, questioning what on Earth you’re doing. Relax, you’re amongst friends, in fact it’s safe to say that we, your sisters, know all about feeling awkward...

I was looking at a book about painting (online) last night, and the female author had a few step-by-step demonstrations to illustrate things for beginners. Each one of her paintings had a simple beginning, followed by what she called an "awkward" phase, and then, if you just stick with it, the whole thing starts to come together! Sigh... The “lesson” was this – if you can make it through the awkward phase, and persevere through persistent feelings of doubt, you will be rewarded with a thing of beauty. It ain’t easy, don’t you know, but you need to be patient...

I made it though my own “awkward” phase, a time when I looked half-finished, questioning where I was going with this little experiment of mine. I would be 25-50% dressed, with no decent female underwear (and no courage to get some), yet I felt like I had to keep going, pushing my own envelope which was being created right before my eyes. I eventually got myself some pretty unmentionables, and things began to look (and feel) much better. It then became obvious that I needed a wig, something I never thought I would want, but I dreamt about achieving a complete transformation by “going all the way.” Once I saw the wig on my head, the die was cast, and I got into everything else a tranny could desire, such as makeup, pantyhose, and the lot. One day, not too long after, I looked in the mirror, saw my true self, and I was no longer a victim of my own awkwardness...

I could’ve packed it in as a partial MtF crossdresser, but I kept going. I used to enjoy wearing kilts and kid myself that they represented feminine proclivities, which they do (in the context of today), but I now see them as an acceptable front of sorts, or an awkward means to an end. Years ago I read an insightful post (on another site) that illustrates this “perseverance” through the awkward period. A person asked if wearing a kilt was an acceptable form of crossdressing, and an established tranny (bless her) said, “Sure, once you don a wig, do your makeup, paint your nails, pluck your eyebrows, slip into some panties, pull on your pantyhose, step into some appropriate footwear and add some jewelry, you’ll be all set!” I’m paraphrasing, but you get the idea – just keep going, and you, too, can leave awkwardness behind...

Have you ever suffered through an awkward phase, in regards to your crossdressing? :thinking:

PS – I still LOVE kilts (check out my profile image), so I was only using that as an example... :o

NathalieX66
06-06-2012, 12:07 AM
I went through an awkward phase of dressing in secret for over 25 years, denying it for 9 years afterwards as a result of guilt and shame, then revisiting it after the stock market crash of Fall '08. Now I go out as a woman 1 to 4 times a month in the most public of public environments.
Response, by far and large, has been overwhelmingly favorable. People on the east coast are too concerned with paying their mortgages, and figuring out how to pay for their kids' college education than wondering if they just saw a guy in a dress.

Barbara Ella
06-06-2012, 12:16 AM
I surmise that we all have these moments, and I believe there are more than one as the crossdressing journey progresses, and each of us sees, or realizes, what we think we should be doing next. The key to working through the awkwardness is the acceptance that what is coming is necessary, and desirable. I worked through the underdressing, putting on the wig, realizing just what I really am, and loving it, and wanting to present even more appropriately as a woman. The awkwardness of getting the thought process in line to venture outside enfemme and interact with the "normals." I am sure there will be many more moments where I do not feel competent to progress, but will attempt to work through it.

I dont know where I am going, and have no idea how i will get there, I just know that I must. With the encouragement in posts like this, i will persevere also.

Barbara

Cynthia Anne
06-06-2012, 05:47 AM
How very true it is! Awkward--ness stayed with me for years! It's quite like magjic how a cd-er can turn a silly looking kilt into a beautiful skirt without altering it at all! Hugs!

Foxglove
06-06-2012, 08:29 AM
Hi, Freddy! I understand what you're saying, but I'm not sure the term "awkward phase" really fits me. Back in the old days, I was never particularly concerned about my appearance. I'd just thrown on whatever clothes I had and enjoy them in the privacy of my own home and not really worry about what I looked like (which on a scale of 1-10 would probably have been a -17).

Since recently deciding to seriously explore my TGism, I've fairly well raced through the stages, quickly acquired everything (or virtually everything) I needed. Perhaps one might say I'm at an awkward stage now, though I'd prefer to call it an "experimentation stage". I'm working hard at my make-up, trying this, trying that, trying to find a look that I like. I'm having some difficulties with one or two items, but I feel confident that eventually I'll get things more or less right and will have the image that I want. So awkward or experimenting, you can take your choice. One thing I know is, it's fun. And when you get things close to the way you want them, the results are gratifying, to say the least.

Best wishes, Annabelle

Ally 2112
06-06-2012, 09:33 AM
Went through the Akward stage for to long mostly when i was repressing it .Now i am at a place where im fairly happy and acceppting .:)

kimdl93
06-06-2012, 10:49 AM
I think I'm emerging from the awkward stage. At least I seldom feel very self conscious about my appearance or mannerisms when I'm en femme. Objective observers might disagree.

Marleena
06-06-2012, 11:13 AM
Nice thread again Freddy and you look cute in your profile pic.:)

Awkward, me?? Oh yeah..after being a guy for 50+ years I have lots of learning to do. I'm finally okay with makeup, clothes and the femme personality. Now the tough stuff needs work, the walk, the talk, and mannerisms.

Carlene
06-06-2012, 12:25 PM
I wrote a long, thoughtful response to your question, "Have you ever suffered through an awkward phase, in regards to your crossdressing?", but finally, I settled on the short answer...............of course. I chose to do this because I don't think I am able to respond with any degree of accuracy within the confines of a few paragraphs.

I really enjoy reading your posts. You are an welcoming component to this forum..............:hugs:Carlene

Jennifer in CO
06-06-2012, 02:18 PM
I like Carlene's answer! I'd have to say I went through at least four "awkward" phases. The first was the under dressing phase, then there was the going out and passing stage, then there was the transitioning phase where your going to work as a guy and coming home and changing into a girl...and remembering what your wearing when so as not to present as the wrong "person". Then there was the going to work as a girl and coming home to try and be a guy again phase. Then there was....

Jenn