When you started

[Anna Lorree]

So when you were in the early stages of accepting and starting to deal with being TS, what did you do? What were your first steps in transition? In what order did you do things?

Anna

[STACY B]

Frst find a way to make money ,, An go from there ,,SLOWLY ,, Sudden changes scare people . Make it fun ,, An have thick skin . Wait a min Ill show ya ,,,Let me get my purse !

[Sharon]

When I first accepted the reality of being TS (after decades of denial and fighting with myself) I found a therapist (who could provide a "this girl is TS letter"), an endocrinologist (who would want the therapist's diagnosis) and an electrologist for facial hair removal. The endo, who had a good reputation with transsexuals, had a three month waiting list, so I made an appointment well before I had the therapist's diagnostic letter. I then transitioned though it was three more months before I could see the endo and start hormone therapy.

[Badtranny]

I was stumbling all over the map!

Oddly enough, the first thing I did was take a sizable chunk out of my savings for liposuction. Being thick in the middle runs in my family. My mom tends to a fat belly and no butt if she lets herself go. (which she did) I've basically had weight issues since I was a kid and I've always been sensitive about my belly which never seemed to match the rest of my body. I figured if I was gonna do this (transition) then I had better take care of the damn belly once and for all. It was a huge step to helping me finally like my body and it was also the first time I came out to strangers as trans. I told the PA and then the doctor what I wanted and why. It was terrifying and then immediately liberating. A couple of weeks after that, I started looking for a therapist. Then laser on my face, then found an endo, then started electrolysis. It took about a year to get all that done and I also started growing my hair and pierced my ears in there somewhere.

[April Lyn]

For me the first steps have been finding a good therapist, and keeping my legs shaved and nails painted all the time. Small steps, but a good start.

- April

[DeeDee1974]

The point where I consider my transition to have begun was the morning of my regular therapist appointment. I always dressed when I got to her office and then changed before I left. That morning I got dressed and I knew in my gut I was not changing back before I left to go home. I had enough. My therapist encouraged me. The next bug step was going home to my then wife who knew I dressed, but wanted nothing to do with it and tell her "this is me".

I showed up at my house fully dressed and My wife became so irate that she pinned up against the wall yelling at me and trying to remove my clothes. She was so strong I couldn't break free and I began to cry. It was at this point she realized what she was doing and stopped, grabbed her car keys and took off . I had no idea where she was until she returned the next day. She had gone to her daughters house. Her daughter was only a couple years younger than me and more understanding. She convinced my wife to have a civilized conversation with me . After a full day talking & crying we decided to separate. We later got back together, but later divorced.
I then went on hormones.

[Inna]

I understood clearly that there was no option left and my commitment to transitioning into a womanhood was a one way street, and regardless of an outcome the need to be one I always felt I was, was greater then life it self, even if that led to an end.

Once I committed, everything else came naturally.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

THere is no right way Anna..

common first things are finding support, which is a therapist and hopefully some local people that have been through it.. i realize you've mentioned this may not seem possible...we had people traveling 2-3 hours once a month to attend our group...

talk to your family about it...

think really really hard about your career and work life...

start electroylsis

Do not surprise people or freak them out on purpose...

don't be afraid of making mistakes...

the more effort you put into planning and being smart about this, the better your chance for a good outcome

[arbon]

When I accepted it I had already been seeing a therapist for about 4 / 5 months...which was about 2 years ago now. Had to figure out a name first, then trying to find some cloths! I really did not have anything. Then I went out. Soon went out again and got my ears pierced. Went to some TG support groups (loved the friends I made there). I liked going out, it was liberating. Within a few months I had started laser on my face and started taking hormones, which happened pretty close together. By the end of the year I was presenting as a woman most of the time outside of work. Found a doctor (I know, a little out of order :straightface: ) After that it was a lot of waiting, trying to live two lives as my employer was not open to me transitioning at work, and I was trying not to loose my job. A couple weeks ago I forced the issue by legally changing my name, now starting full time - no more dual lives! God willing the next stop will be Thailand.

[noeleena]

Hi.

May be not transitoning as in your terms .

I knew at an early age what i was /am & just lived life as a normal kid for me that had nothing at all to do with being a boy or girl.for me boy / girl.

17 years ago i told Jos what i was.& then later told friends family & many others what was happening to myself as a person. that i was a female / woman & would live as such.I did not bring up being intersexed because that would make more problems so that was not done till later on.

As of now im accepted only as a woman both in women only groups plus many other groups & pretty much where ever i go im accepted very well by both men & women based on who i am as a person & as a woman in my own right.

For my self it was about allowing others in to your life as a part of who you are , the reason i have so many friends & we are a part of each others lifes & that for myself is what is so neat.

...noeleena...

[Rianna Humble]

A lot of my answer is already documented in these forums and I would not suggest that anyone follow my example.

I went in stages, but had to conceal my true identity for about 6 months - which was the hardest half-year of my life so far. I had come out as being Transgender at work but was unable to reveal it in the wider community. This involved a lot of creative use of train toilets as changing cubicles because I would set off from home en drab but travel en femme then sometimes have to go back to drab at work.

I did read advice such as you find on tsroadmap but sort of went my own way too.

In the UK things happen slightly differently to what I understand of the situation in the US, Canada or Australia and your GP (doctor) is the first port of call - she then refers you to a psysomething (never did understand the difference between chologist and chiatrist) to ensure you don't have any complicating mental health conditions before referring you to a Gender Identity Clinic. At this point, I told my manager and HR department that I was preparing for transition and we set up some meetings to discuss the practicalities of how that would happen at work.

I changed my name the day that I began my RLE even though it would be another 48 weeks before I got my first Gender Identity Clinic appointment. A couple of weeks later, I went into my local Town Hall to change my voter registration and someone who saw me coming out tipped off the local press so I came out to the wider community via the local then national newspapers :sad:

It was shortly after I took part in my first Pride Parade that someone told me about a support group in the same town where I work.

[Jorja]

When I first started dressing it was still against the law in many places. A man in a dress was unheard of. With the help of many who supported me or truely could understand, things like electrolysis began to happen. Laser had not yet been invented. I went as far as I could doing the things I could to be the woman I was. A friend of a friend hooked me up with 2 doctors who were just starting to treat trans patients. I got on hormones. I was more of a lab rat than because of the changes they could make. I was introduced to a doctor who was doing SRS. I declined for several years because it just wasn't perfected. Finally in 1990 I had my SRS and the rest is history.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Anna,

I always knew I was different since four years of age.
I'm not TS but Intersexed but the process of transition is exactly the same.

Pretty much all through school I was a brutal bully due to suppressing feelings of being female.
I went through many many years of adolescent therapy due to this.
Finally the house of cars started to come down in 1999 when I was 33 years old.
In 2000 I began studying ways I could transition including HRT.
In 2001 I began HRT and made my first attempt at transition in July of that year.
I failed to transition due to a death threat. I recoiled back into the closet until December of 2006 when I successfully transitioned.


Julia

[Xrys]

I just finally accepted myself a few weeks ago. I am looking for work so i cant afford much. I have been doing a lot of research on therapists and doctors in the aerea. I told a few friends, and my brother. I plan on talking to the pastor of our church to get his opinion of things, we have become good friends over the last few years. I am still trying to get enough courage to tell my mother, who I moved back in with when I lost my last job. I have a few outfits at a friend's house, he agreed to let me keep my things there til I work up the nerve to tell mom. All I can afford to do is research, and thank god I have had plenty of time to do it. There is soo much info out there. I also signed up for this amazing online forum with awesome people who have been through it and are going through it and are verry supportive. I have learned that knowledge is power, so learn as much as you can.

[Bree-asaurus]

Find a good therapist and a real-life support group. Actually making friends and spending time with other transsexuals helps immensely. From there, you'll figure out what steps work for you.

[Stephanie-L]

I started talking to folks on this and another forum some years ago. I knew I was trans several years ago, but finally decided to do something about it about a year ago. I did some research, figured out the hormone doses and ordered them off the internet. About that same time, I found a new therapist who had transgender experience, and started laser on my face. I also got serious about losing weight. Several months later I came out to my primary care doc, and eventually found an endo to manage my hormones. I also started voice therapy at a local university clinic. In the last six weeks, I have made the appointment for laser on my chest and back, made an appointment for electrolysis on my face, had initial consults for FFS with two different plastic surgeons, started my divorce, and came out to my sister and nephew, the only relatives I plan on telling until I go full time. So, A busy year, and I expect the next year to be even busier..........Stephanie

[juno]

I went to see a gender counselor as soon as possible to help guide me. I started working to accept myself as really being female right away, and not wait for hormones and other procedures to kick in. I signed up for an all-female sexy dance class, after asking if they would accept a transwoman. That went so well that I signed up for a burlesque class. Burleqsue is a long ways from stripping. It is a huge help in improving your body image. I wanted to stop hating my body right now. The other women were very accepting, and it was a good way to get used to being half-dressed around women. Of course, I already developed A+ breasts from herbals, which was enough to feel OK about going topless. And, yes, I did a burlesque show with the girls in a public venue. Most people may not want to dive in to female body acceptance so fast, but it is an awesome experience if you have the guts, and your body is not too non-feminine.

[Anna Lorree]

Find a good therapist and a real-life support group. Actually making friends and spending time with other transsexuals helps immensely. From there, you'll figure out what steps work for you.

Bree,

I have a good therapist; she usually doesn't push, but doesn't let me hide, either. I see her on a weekly basis, but will be cutting that back soon to allow my wife time and money to see a therapist of her own. I owe her that. My therapist has already told me that I have access to HRT when I want it, that is stalled at the request of my wife for the time being. My therapist has also told me that she believes I could handle the physical side of transitioning quite well, and pass pretty easily should I choose to.

Currently, I am unable to find a local support group within 3 hours drive. Yeah, really. I live in a pretty rural area, so resources aren't always available. I seriously want to talk to others like me and in person.

Thanks to everybody who has posted or will post. I'm not sure yet where I am going, or how I will get there. The next stage of this is likely going to be focusing on our marriage and making decisions for our family. How far I go with this will depend on those decisions to some degree, however I know I need to do something.

Anna

[Julia_in_Pa]

Anna,

I know what being like us is and living in a rural area.
I transitioned in Helena Montana.


Bree,

I have a good therapist; she usually doesn't push, but doesn't let me hide, either. I see her on a weekly basis, but will be cutting that back soon to allow my wife time and money to see a therapist of her own. I owe her that. My therapist has already told me that I have access to HRT when I want it, that is stalled at the request of my wife for the time being. My therapist has also told me that she believes I could handle the physical side of transitioning quite well, and pass pretty easily should I choose to.

Currently, I am unable to find a local support group within 3 hours drive. Yeah, really. I live in a pretty rural area, so resources aren't always available. I seriously want to talk to others like me and in person.

Thanks to everybody who has posted or will post. I'm not sure yet where I am going, or how I will get there. The next stage of this is likely going to be focusing on our marriage and making decisions for our family. How far I go with this will depend on those decisions to some degree, however I know I need to do something.

Anna

[Anna Lorree]

Anna,

I know what being like us is and living in a rural area.
I transitioned in Helena Montana.

Being TS in a place where "redneck" and "hillbilly" is considered high praise is not fun, huh? There is a Copenhagen ring in the back pocket of half of the Levi's, Wranglers and Carhartts in this area.

You know what is funny? Alton, CA. is about 4 miles north of me.

Anna

[Ally 2112]

After 30 years of this im unfortunately trying to still figure it out ?.When i was 14 i distinctly remembering i wanted to be a girl but fought it off and repressed it .Well it did not do a lot of good in my life and in my marriage .After 30 years of back and forth i have not choosed either way becuase of my comunity and my friends im still hiding to this day and it is not really doing me any good ya got to choose i guess ? :)

[Anna Lorree]

After 30 years of this im unfortunately trying to still figure it out ?.When i was 14 i distinctly remembering i wanted to be a girl but fought it off and repressed it .Well it did not do a lot of good in my life and in my marriage .After 30 years of back and forth i have not choosed either way becuase of my comunity and my friends im still hiding to this day and it is not really doing me any good ya got to choose i guess ? :)

I was 15 when I realized that, I hid from it, too. And that is why I am here now, trying to figure out the least screwed up way to deal with being TS and married at the same time.

Anna