Is this the end?

[Ella]

Well I'm confused, like a lot of people on here. Since moving to uni, I haven't been able to dress. I have no clothes or anything. If I really set my mind to it, I might be able to sneak clothes into my room, but I don't feel strong enough about wanting to dress to go and buy clothes. So is this me growing out of crossdressing? Am I passing a stage in my life, rather than developing the crossdressing side of me? I'm 18 so it could be either, but I don't feel like I want to dress at all at the moment. Maybe it's like breaking out of an addiction, now that I can't dress, I don't want to any more.

Another thing stopping me is the fact that I like so much how my life is now, I feel I don't need to "replace" it. I get on really well with all my family and I have a lot of friends, I don't want that to change. I can also only forsee my life as a male, and I don't mind. Is this time for me to stop dressing now? Is it over? In some ways I want it to be.

Thanks for reading, I'd like to hear if other people have been in the same situation and what they did, or just leave your thoughts about my situation. Like are there many people that grow out of crossdressing? Or does it stick with you? I'd like to know. Thanks.

[Diane Paris]

If you are truely a cross dresser and you enjoyed dressing before this time in your life, you will likey find the need to dress again, at some point. I wouild not worry about this phase of your life when you don't feel the need. Just enjoy this phase of your life and be prepared to enjoy other phases that will sure be different from what you feel now. I am many, many years older that you and my experiences tell me advise you to just have fun by living in the moment. Enjoy each minute, each day and each phase of your life. Just take it as it comes. There is no right or wrong to how you feel...it is just how you feel. ;)

Regards,
Diane

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Ella,

I'm of the opinion that our desires somehow change with the environment that surrounds us.

I remember when I was renting a room when I was younger and didn't earn enough to buy a house. It was a time that I could have dressed in my room and not come out but the person who owned the house would have thought it strange that I couldn't/wouldn't come out. Also I would have been too scared that I would have got caught.

Anyway, my point is that I found that my desire to dress subsided because I couldn't. The moment I was able to buy my own house (I lived on my own) I dressed nearly every night!

I think that what you are experiencing is totally normal.

I say, let yourself go and let your mind-set take you where you want to go.

The biggest problem with us cders is guilt. Don't worry everything is fine :)

[TGMarla]

I did four years in college. Three years, I lived in dormatories. No chance to dress at all. Still, the desires, while somewhat abated, never really went away completely. I loved being there, dressing or not, but once I was out on my own, I started up again, strong as ever. Maybe stronger. But hey, that's just me. Everyone's different. Don't sweat it. Just go with your own flow and do what comes natural to you. You'll figure it out.

[Nicole Lee]

In senior year of high school (when I started making more friends, was a big loner throughout my earlier years), I stopped CD'ing. But trust me, it'll come back, if you love it so much. I thought I was done with wearing ballet dancewear .. but nope. I see myself buying more and more clothes now.

Just got into buying low-rise denim jeans. Just bought a pair of GLO jeans today. 'Love 'em to death! :D

[Wenda]

The other girls have said it well, dont make it a bigger thing than it should be. Dress if you want to, when you want to, when you can. If you dont feel like it, or if it isnt doing anything for you, or if you dont have the opportunity, let it slide. I didnt dress for 30 years. never really missed it. Now I love to dress. If it feels right.... wenda

[Sweet Susan]

You know, you could just look at like, "what ever blows your skirt up," and get on with your life. What happens, happens. Enjoy life, and don't force feed anything into your life. Live for the sake of enjoyment and doing some good, making a difference. If it means wearing a dress, wear one, if it means not wearing, don't.

[vicki true]

The other girls have said it well, dont make it a bigger thing than it should be. Dress if you want to, when you want to, when you can. If you dont feel like it, or if it isnt doing anything for you, or if you dont have the opportunity, let it slide. I didnt dress for 30 years. never really missed it. Now I love to dress. If it feels right.... wenda



I agree with WENDA it will always be part of you.

[KELLYANN]

HI ELLA. you're young yet, so i wouldn't be concerned witch way you're traveling. get your schooling and direction in life, enjoy yourself and friends and family. things will come natural. 5-10-20 years down the road, you may find yourself out shopping for skirts,shoes,dresses,tops,makeup etc. you get the picture. OR you may look back and think, such a crazy little fling in my life. best of luck to you, whatever you do!!:wink:

[Tabathasiren]

I agree with the others. The desires will more than likely come back:)

[Ashley Allison]

I'm not so far removed from my days as an undergrad; so, I thought maybe I could offer a few words of advice.

When I first started college, I felt that I didn't need to dress anymore. I wanted to make friends, and plus I had a roommate. After a while the urge came back and I just had to dress. Later on, I moved into apartment which I shared with some of my friends, but I had my own room so I could dress whenever I wanted and so I did. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should dress if when and if you feel like. If it's not convenient and you don't feel like CD'ing then don't. After all you are the master of your CD'ing, not the other way around.

[kristi cd]

I know exactly what you're talking about, Ella. I've never been one to dress up much anyway for whatever reason, but I do remember that it was (and still is most of the time now) the farthest thing from my mind when I first started college. I'm of the persuasion that you just kinda roll with the punches when it comes to all this dressing stuff. Life's too short to worry with forcing yourself to do something that you really don't feel like doing in the first place. If you're happy with the way things are now that you don't feel like dressing, why worry about it? If the desire comes back and you have the opprotunity, great, but don't try to force it because doing stuff like that never seems to have happy results. Just my $.02. :rolleyes:

[cathy b]

i think we all have gone threw the same at one time or another.wile i think all the girls have expressed some very good advice i have to go with what sue had to say.

[_Janelle_]

When I was at uni, I pretty much had no interest in dressing. That was quite a few years ago (about 20 or so). Well just recently the urge has hit me again full force for some reason (still haven't quite figured it out). So if you have had a desire to CD in the past, I would suspect it will resurface at some point. If it doesn't, so what. In someways I would have preferred that my desire had not come back, since it would have made things so much easier. But since it has, I have chosen to embrace it, accept it for what it is, refuse to feel negatively about it, and simply enjoy it (wearing panties, nylons and heels and jeans as I type this). So go with whatever floats your boat and "don't worry, be happy".

Janelle

[Jodi Lynn]

I have to agree with what everyone else has said. No big deal that you don't want to dress right now. We have all been there at one time or another. When I was your age I didn't dress, after I had for awhile. Started when I was around 9 or 10 and did until I out grow my mom's things. But as most have said, your need to dress WILL come back. So enjoy this time in your life and don't worry about it.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

My advice. Do whatever makes you happy.

My own dressing has gone in phases. In college I didn't do much -- although I squirreled away a bikini bottom I found -- because having roommates definitely poses logistical difficulties, plus I was probably preoccupied with all the "normal" exploration of who you are that goes on at that age.

So while it's quite possible the urge will return later in life -- if it doesn't then maybe it truly was "just a phase" you were going through. As long as you're happy, it doesn't really matter.