femininity vs. masculinity

[felicity84]

ok so i have been dressing per se for the better part of the last six years. this might be exactly opposite of most but i feel more masculine, when i go out to a bar or club or whatever i go to that day, in a dress or skirt than i would in drab.
maybe it has something to do with the fact that it takes a lot of courage to go out into public dressed that way, i'm not sure. but for whatever reason i feel stronger, more secure with myself, and a little daring everytime i dress and go out. and to me those are a few of the things that define a man.
i define a real man as a man that can stand up to anything and defend his beliefs, who can take adversity and turn it into something positive, and has the strength courage and wisdom to do whats right or needed no matter the consequences.

so with that definition and the obvious consequences of such behavior i wonder, am i more of a man because i crossdress or am i just a crazy person living in their own world in need of something to claim and make their mark.

i apologize for the semi randomness of this comment but i'm kind of clearing my head and these are all the thought that are floating through the pink stuff currently called my brain. i have pretty tough skin so whatever criticism you have throw it at me. i love honesty

[outhiking]

I don't think you'll get any criticisms on this forum. It's generally a pretty free flow of ideas. I personally feel more like a woman when I dress, like I'm letting someone out for a little bit. BUT, I haven't ever presented, so I don't know how that would go and if I'd feel different.

[Barbara Ella]

You are really defining a person of conviction, and not a man per se. You have conviction, you are a man, so you relate the two.

More of a man, not necessarily, but more of a person, most definitely.

Barbara

[Dawn cd]

You feel that a man is decisive and able to stand up for himself, etc., but that's true of today's women too. There's nothing more impressive than a woman with balls.

[noeleena]

Hi.

This for me has nothing at all to do with being a male or female mind you im both any way in my make up intersexed.

This has to do with being a person. one who has the strengh to stand alone & be counted on to be able to weather the storm of adveristy some thing both Jos & i have done, try 8 years & youll have an idear .mentally & emotionlly,

Im a very strong woman & had to be, to be were i am now yes iv had to carry the can & take the flack so the carricter of the person can be seen in how we work through things in our lifes even though i had & have issues that hindered me for most of my life plus a few more i have now.

Being intersex really helped in so many ways.& conferms who i am now.

Dont confuse femininty vs masculinity because some of us have both though i can not seperate ether from each other my detail if you like because of being intersex,

Of cause how others percive who i am they need to get to know the real me. as my friends know,

While thinking about this can i act a part like can i be this masculine male one day & a feminine woman the next. sorry it does not work like that for this kid & never will , what people see is really what you get its about get to know who i am.

& there is no differnce how im dressed wether in my normal day wear womens clothes or working on the building site in shorts & tee or overalls im still seen
& known as noeleena whos a woman. just they all know my background & im accepted with my differences.

...noeleena...

[ReineD]

i define a real man as a man that can stand up to anything and defend his beliefs, who can take adversity and turn it into something positive, and has the strength courage and wisdom to do whats right or needed no matter the consequences.

Just so you know, this defines a real woman too. :)

Think of our ancestors. The strong women with wills of steel, facing all kinds of adversity while raising their young; their ability to make something out of nothing and teach their children life-lasting values along the way.

Modern women are just as strong.

But, I do agree it takes a lot of courage for a guy to put on a dress and go out in the mainstream.

[felicity84]

thank you all for the comments and different insights into my poorly concieved post.

you all have mentioned that a lot of what i define as a man can also define a woman so i will translate that into my definition of a human man or woman.

its also ironic that a of the traits i mentioned are also traits i look for in a woman

so what i'm taking from you all is that not only do i fee stronger as a man but also as woman which actually just makes me a stronger individual all around. this is not a way i have percieved it before but makes sense.

thanks for the new perception towards life and how i live it :)

[KellyJameson]

You are asserting your own power as an individual daring the world to challenge you for your right to free expression (to exist). I think this is a very admirable trait if you do not use it like a gunslinger looking for a gunfight.

For myself I want the opposite, to physically look feminine but with elements of masculine clothing such as a turtleneck sweater combined with a skirt. I never wear a dress because it is to feminine for my tastes and projects a femininty I do not feel so do not want associated with me and this makes me feel stronger and more secure in myself and a little daring.

I believe you and I are alike in that we go to the same place but from opposite directions though for similar reasons.

Great thread and I really admire your individuality, what you are doing requires a certain measure of intestinal fortitude.

You are exceptional but watch for your attitude toward authority, this could be your achilles heel leading to your downfall. True power does not need to be tested or proven against or to others, it is internal so becomes eternal.

I personally do not think your post was poorly conceived, I found it to be brillant.

[LisaMallon]

Barbera said "person of conviction", which is perfectly correct. I'd just add, compassionate, honourable and ethical.

If you have these then, no matter what you sex is, you are a good person.

[Roberta Marie]

There are times when I feel more masculine and others when I feel more feminine. These feelings do not necessarily correspond with how I'm dressed or what I'm doing. I have been working hard in a hot and dirty attic, dressed in old jeans and a t-shirt, and suddenly felt very feminine. I have been in a small theater filled with predominantly women, watching a girly production, wearing a dressy skirt, sweater, heels and hose, with makeup and wig, and suddenly felt very masculine.

When people have asked me what masculine feels like, the only answer that I can give is, less feminine. Likewise, when they ask what feminine feels like, all I can say is, less masculine. I can't describe what the difference is, only that they are very different.

I try to be a person "that can stand up to anything and defend [my] beliefs, who can take adversity and turn it into something positive, and has the strength courage and wisdom to do whats right or needed no matter the consequences" regardless of how I'm dressed. That's what I call integrity, which is a positive trait for both men and women.

[Kate Simmons]

Masculinity and femininity complement each other really. As possessors of both we have the ability to make them work for us and become a positively directed full spectrum person.:)

[Roberta Marie]

Masculinity and femininity complement each other really. As possessors of both we have the ability to make them work for us and become a positively directed full spectrum person.:)

I have to agree, Kate. In hind sight, even before I came to terms with my femininity, while I was trying to suppress it, I think it was working in a positive way for me. As a captain in the fire service, when we hired our first woman firefighter, she was assigned to my shift. The Chief said that he put her with me because he knew that, "I would not get his ass sued!" I now wonder if that perception didn't have something to do with my femininity. I also think that it had a lot to do with my willingness and ability to help this woman adapt to life in such a testosterone filled environment. And, back in the '80s when I was laid off for a year, I think it was my femininity that helped me adapt to being a house husband and stay at home dad (something that I thoroughly enjoyed) while my wife took her career full time to support the family.

Yes, Kate, I do think we have some advantages over mono-gendered people.

[Beth Mays]

It has been some time ago but I read a very good paper on the identification traits as it relates to sports figures.
People (mostly males) wear a sports jersey that allows them to feel a part of the team they like, then combine that many will have a particular player that most closely mirrors the traits they have or wish to have. Even though they can not be a part of the event on the field it allows the person to somehow feel connected.

I don’t remember all that I read on it but I do recall how I saw the connection to wearing women's clothing. That is the Team I most closely follow and support; therefore I would chose to wear the clothing to feel better connected.