Dressed and somewhere to go!

[emmicd]

Last night was a great step for me. I went out fully dressed! I had a nice checkered black and white dress on with a white cardigan. I wore my cute flats in black with beige pantyhose. I had my very first wig on which looked nice on me. I was so excited. I dressed right after work in a store parking lot at night around 7:45 pm. I then drove fully dressed to my therapist's office about 45 minutes away and I walked in to her office and she was so happy to see me dressed. I felt totally natural and this is how I wish to present myself in my personal, family and working life. I realize this will take some time and a lot of planning. I had a great session with my therapist and after seeing her now for almost 4 months she has given the ok to my doctor at Callen Lorde for HRT. My doctor is planning a regimen for me which includes estrogens and t-blockers. I will see my doctor in late June when she will start me on HRT. I have been waiting all my life for this and I have the support of my doctor and therapist. My wife has finally admitted that she wishes me to find my peace and happiness and now accepts the fact that I am a woman. She even said to me that I look nicer dressed up and happier too. My son is accepting though he also is confused. I am very understanding and I try to be delicate with him about this because he is very impressionable and he relies on both his mommy and daddy. He knows I wear women's clothing and is trying his best to understand and come to terms with it.

I am now coming to terms with my transgender and embracing it as I now embark on transitioning.

emmi

[Eileen]

Congratulations Emmi as you begin the journey to becoming your true self.

[Jorja]

Congratulations Emmi! One step at a time, one day at a time.

[Julia_in_Pa]

I echo what Jorja says Emmi, one step at a time and one day at a time.
Be proud of yourself.
Be sure, be precise and be prepared.


Julia

[RADER]

Emmi:
Glad to see you are getting out, That has been a dream of mine for years.
Have a good time.
Rader

[Marleena]

Congrats Emmi! Things are moving in the right direction now. HRT is the ticket, it should have a calming effect on you. I'm happy for you.:)

[KellyJameson]

Brava Emmi !

I'm so thankful that your wife is accepting.

Children usually do not want to lose what they have with a loved parent and this is measured in time shared, not in your appearance.

He may think your changes will change the relationship between the two of you so in those ways you are able to reassure him that things will stay the same he will be more relaxed, make it personal for him so he can relate to how he "will not be effected" because change is more threatening to children. They have a difficult time comprehending it's implications to them.

When he understands that you will stay the same on the inside but will be more happy and less sad than he will not experience it as a "taking away" from him but an "enrichment (giving)" of the relationship you already have.

Children intuitively know that the parents happiness and theirs are intertwined.

[Karinsamatha]

Bravo Emmi. I am so happy that you are moving in the direction you need to, I am also glad your family is allowing you to be you.
I can attest that it is a wonderfull feeling to wear clothes that reflect who you are.

[emmicd]

Thank you all for the moral support and for the kind words. This has been a very emotional time for me and I have been waiting for the day I would come to realize who I truly am. I have lived a life full of joy and happiness and am grateful for that. I have wonderful family and some really good friends. I have however struggled and still do with gender dysphoria. No matter how much I tried to smile and put on a brave face I felt sad and empty inside because I was not living my life as I felt in my heart and soul. I knew I was different as a young kid and knew I should have been a girl. I can't tell you how much I felt confused and sad. I cried inside but laughed outside just to cover up the pain. I was the great pretender as borrowed from a Platter's song. I was not true to who I was. After many years of wondering and struggling I managed to forge a life and am happy for having a family of my own. It is with sadness though that I must hurt others to find my own happiness. It makes me have to deal with more internal conflict and emotion that seems inevitable. I am not naive in what I have felt destined to have to do all along and how it will affect my family and all in my circle. I am truthfully scared but I know this is the path I must travel for my very own survival. It is my journey of self awakening to be the woman I always felt I should have been born to be. It has taken me 50 years to finally summon the strength, courage and conviction to start to transition. I told my son I will always be there for him no matter what and I will love him just the same, with all my heart!

emmi