Crossdressing and being gay

[Briana90802]

Just wondering if early crossdressing had an influence on your sexual preferences later in life? Why or why not? This question is open to everyone.

[BRANDYJ]

It must have. I was so attracted to girls and their beauty, sensuality and sexiness, that I wanted to dress, act and look like them. So that attraction and crossdressing kept me from being gay.

Seriously, I don't think being gay or straight has anything to do with crossdressng. Gender and sexuality are not one in the same.

[Karren H]

For me I battled with the question "if I like to dress like a woman why is it I don't like men?" For years.... And I finally realized that sexual preference and crossdressing are two independent things.... Imho.... I crossdress. Our son is gay and he doesn't.

[Krista Doll]

for me it did not make me gay I still only like women (not men) but if dressed does that make me a lesbian just asking. I'm just a straight guy who likes wearing womans clothes.

[Erin McShea]

I agree with Brandy. I have always been obsessed with women's clothing because I think the female body is so beautiful.

[Melissa Rose]

No, there is no direction connection based on current information. Sexual orientation, gender expression and gender identity are independent. You are not made gay, lesbian, straight or whatever orientation by actions or events, or the lack of them, in your life. It is the way you are wired. However, how you view or act upon the way you feel may be influenced by your environment and upbringing.

On an individual level, there is not a way to accurately answer the question since a control is absence. To know the answer, you would have to go back in time, not dress in early childhood and see what happened later in life, and all other potential causative variables would have to be eliminated. By sampling a large enough population, correlations may be found, but proving cause and effect in a multi-variable scenario is very difficult especially on an individual level.

[Jennifer W]

I had a cousin who crossdereesd before we all knew what it was. He was sure he was "supposed to be a girl" and therefore he was attracted to men. He had another relative (not related to me) who was gay and he liked men, but didn't crossdress. I personally am not gay but I do love lingerie!

[Tina B.]

I'm not sure what causes me to dress, and I don't know what makes one person gay and another straight. But when I was a young man, I was asked if I was gay because of my dressing, and I didn't have a ready answer, But after thinking about it for a while, I realized I couldn't be gay, I can't stand my hairy body, I wouldn't want someone else's up against me. I prefer the soft smoothness of a woman, for my mate and myself.
I've never had a desire to have a thing with a man, I've never tried it, so I guess I'm not gay, and my cross dressing doesn't seem to have a thing to do with being gay.
Now if I weren't a cross dresser, and liked things hairy who knows, I might have been gay.
Tina B.

[Violetgray]

The idea of crossdressing making you gay is like the idea that wearing a Little Mermaid T-shirt making you a better swimmer.

[Beverley Sims]

Gay! I can't tell you how happy I am when cross dressed.:)

[Thera Home]

I believe beauty is a gift and belongs to both men and women. When I look at a beautiful woman or a beautiful man I don't want either for sexual pleasure.
That is reserved for my wife. What I want is thier beauty for myself. I afraid this makes me selfish in a way. When em femme I admire the beauty I posess and want to share it with to the world. I think because of what society thinks of crosssdressers as "well they dress like women therefore they'll want men" we're labeled as being gay when most of us are not. We just admire beauty and want it for ourselves.

Thera

[Kate Simmons]

Not necessarily but I think perhaps it did help in my acceptance of diversity.:)

[Stephanie47]

No correlation at all! I believe some young men may be 'forced' into a gay lifestyle because they are into self loathing about cross dressing. For them it may seem to explain their desire to cross dress, act like a girl and hook up with men. Right now there is a greater acceptance for gay men and lesbians than cross dressers. I really do not like looking at human slobs, male or female.

I know that I love women's clothing, the feel, the colors. I also know I love looking at a nicely dressed woman who has taken care of her physical attributes. I also look approvingly of men who dress nicely for the occasion and take care of their physical attributes. Maybe, it has to do the physical form of both men and women. Take care of the body.

But, how do I love sexy looking and sexy feeling lingerie and slips! Just a side thought! In the animal kingdom it is usually the male that is brightly adorned to attract a mate. Maybe, humans just have it all wrong, except for cross dressers! :)

[kimmyg]

Not gay but curious. Have always fantasied about having a male sexual relationship while en femme

[LeaP]

It may be more accurate to think of certain types of sexual preference as another type of gender variation rather than having nothing to do with gender per se.

There's nothing deterministic that would drive a gender variant person to any given type of sexual preference variation, but I'm not sure that there isn't a correlation. If you believe some people's numbers, homosexuality and bisexuality is higher in the gender variant population than it is in the general population.

[Noemi]

Hello Briana,

When I was a young boy I would worry about this, that I am gay because I like to wear panties. Plus I come from a conservative traditional back round, narrow minded parents and brothers whom I now ignore and never take seriously because it is obvious they do not know a thing.

CD'ing shades sexuality. So when you dress up you are traveling from one shore across the open waters, so I can see how this voyage can confuse some body.
But if you take the trip allot you discover what you like. Sexual preferences are not something that can be forced out of a person. It is the most natural thing, our sexuality.

I feel, along with others here, that our sexuality is hard wired into us. So CD'ing will not turn you gay, it will get you thinking abut sexual preferences, which you will sort out eventually.
I am a gay Cd'er, which seem to be in the minority on this forum.
I am not really gay, if I were to transition then I would be straight.

♥
Noemi

[cathie pantyhose]

im bi but married to an amazing woman. Dressing didn't influence my sexual preferance. I am who I am and I'm happy. I love dressing fem and had had encounters with a gay man years ago while dressed. He loved it when I dressed up. I also had a ggf many years ago that loved it when I dressed up during sex. Toys and all were shared. It was great. These days, I dont have sex with my wife while dressed however. The clothes get in the way...

[Megan_Renee]

I don't know if any of you are Dr. Who fans, but one of the things that happens In The Future is that sexual preference isn't something that you decide once and stick with. (Oh my goodness, if that were true of how I could present myself! I could be a woman when I wanted and a man when I chose!)

Anyway, the idea is that, you would just be with whom you wanted to be, and we wouldn't be as stuck on these definitions and labels as we are now. I think that's how I feel. I am married to a beautiful woman. I love her deeply, and I would never want to do anything to damage her love of me. But if I had not married her, would instead have been drawn to a man in the same way? I'm not convinced that sexual desire is as cut-and-dried as we would like it to be.

I've never met a man that drew me in the way my wife does, but to say that would never happen? I've been burned too many times to use the word, "never."

(That was terrible grammar...)

Anyway... I think I agree with some of the other comments about accepting my nature to dress en femme and accepting homosexuality. I grew up very judgmental. There are several judgments that I have made that I wish I could take back, but c'est la vie! I have lived, and I have learned...

[Marleena]

Just wondering if early crossdressing had an influence on your sexual preferences later in life? Why or why not? This question is open to everyone.

Nope.

I think a lot of Cder's question their sexuality because of CDing early on until they realize it's just something they need to do. It should not have anything to do with sexual preferences because it's a gender issue.

[Shananigans]

I think everyone questions their sexuality at various points in their life...including crossdressers. It's pretty normal. When I was growing up and having crushes on other girls, it was really confusing. I didn't actually know that people were "gay" or "lesbian." A male friend of mine (who is gay) had the same sentiments growing up. He often said it was so confusing, because he was gay before he knew what gay was. I think we both had like an "Ooooooooooh that's what it is" moment in our lives when we were finally told about homosexuality.

But, I read on various forums where guys are like, "I like looking at porn where guys have really big d*cks...I didn't know I was into it...until I saw it....am I gay?" lol. So, yeah, I think people get turned on by the thought of certain things and then they are like, "OMG! DOES THIS MEANS I AM....A HOMOSEXUAL?!?" Probably not...you probably wouldn't be asking about it or pondering too deeply about it. However, I think it's pretty normal to have moments where you realize something turns you on and you wonder what the Hell it means about your sexuality. I just think people are turned on by all kinds of things. I wouldn't call you gay unless you could have feelings for a man...have had crushes on men...find men extremely sexy. I'd call you kinky if you happened to be like the confused guy posting on a forum wondering if liking big d*cks in his porno means he is gay. I also think that fantasies are often much grander than reality. Unfortunately, I've been on the fantasy end with girls just exploring their sexuality...and, then, in reality, they get freaked out by being with another girl. I'm sure they watched lesbian porn and thought it would be hot to try...maybe making out with a girl would make them be more attractive to men (I honestly don't know what they think)...and, then, they realize they aren't actually into women so much as the THOUGHT of being with a woman.

Sexuality is complicated. But, I don't think it has so much to do with gender. You get CDs and TSs of every sexuality that you would a cisperson. But, I think if you are worried about your gender...you are probably worried/questioning other areas of your life. I say just go with your gut. If you are gay or bi...you KNOW you are gay or bi. It's not like you wake up one day and put on your gay hat...then, you are gay lol. If you feel like you are worrying about whether or not you are gay...and, you aren't really sure...you probably aren't gay, but are sucked into the fantasy/kink of some other factors. Same-sex fantasies are really common even with straight people. But, you also have to realize that sexuality isn't just about sex. Attraction isn't just about sex.

I think it's pretty rare that someone suppresses their sexuality until waaaay later in life. Most people that I know in the lesbian/gay

[ColleenA]

Just wondering if early crossdressing had an influence on your sexual preferences later in life? Why or why not? This question is open to everyone.

Crossdressing as a youth influence my sexual preferences? Just the opposite. Crossdressing is an offshoot of my being straight.

I always found women to be attractive in sensual and sexual ways. Meanwhile, I never got a strong sense of the sexual nature of males - but unfortunately, that applied to myself as much as to other men. So when I was starting puberty, I found myself attracted to my good-looking older sister and her many hot friends, and I wished I could be sexual just as they were. I can recall a little dabbling in CDing beforehand, but the turning point was one day in 7th grade when everyone in the family was out and I had the house to myself for the afternoon. I went into my sister's room and proceeded to try on half her wardrobe over the next few hours.

To this day in my private erotic fantasies, I can imagine being with a specific woman (whether I'm dressed or not), but if I imagine being with a man, I must physically be fully a woman, yet he remains a faceless, generic male.

[Eryn]

Well, it hasn't had much effect on me. I dress quite a bit and I still adore women, specifically my wife. I've no interest at all in men.

As others have said, the one effect has been to make me more aware of gender issues and more tolerant toward others.

[Elle1946]

I have been dressing in some form since I can remember and it has been a lot of years and I am not gay and I do prefer women 100% . Why I don't know it is just the way I am

[docrobbysherry]

Well, I THOT it had anyway! :brolleyes:

Growing up, I never had any doubts of who I was attracted to, WOMEN! Then, in my 30/40's, some friends began experimenting which made me wonder about myself.:straightface:

Then, when I began dressing in my 50's, I assumed I must be gay, or bi, at least!:eek:

NAW! It just doesn't work that way!:devil:

[MaryAnn40c]

I am not gay I am BI and always have been!... when I go full time them I will deside which way I will go!

[Jenniferathome]

Crossdressing and sexual orientation are unrelated. Moreover, one's sexual orientation is not a preference, it's genetic. crossdressing does not make you gay and being gay does not make you want to crossdress.

[natacsha]

From a younger perspective, I feel like life pulls us in the direction we're meant to go in. I know too many gay people that are, in some sense, opposed to CDing. It's the attraction that CDers have for women that usually indicate how hetero they really are. Everyone is different though. I am starting to understand more and more that being gay or bi is something that may be hardwired from birth. As far back as I can remember, I never liked guys like that. At all. I was, however, much more attracted to the way men think than women (maybe cause I am one??) I just get along better with my own kind in that regard. As I grew older I began attaching feelings to that attraction. When CDing began for me, I automatically associated it with men and women. I was attracted to both. I stand alone from most CDers in this regard and I am understanding more and more why as each day passes. I didn't ask for it..like I said in my first sentence, life pulled me into a direction at a certain point in my life...somewhere in between the high desert mountains and a beautiful colorful sunset over the ocean. All I needed to know was there. I just needed to accept it. hope this helps to understand the diversity behind CDing. xoxoxo

[Mythic]

I'm attracted to women an guys who look like women. I don't know if you'd call that bi. I've been told it's bi cause I can be still attracted to a guy but I've alos been told I'm straight for only being attracted to the "Female look". I stopped caring an just accepted what I like an don't like. But I realised that before I had urges to dress feminine so I don't feel like there is a conection.

[christina s]

I'll admit i've done some experimenting with "toys" but I that side of myself would have come out it one way or another . I think once I started accepting my crossdressing it was easier to accept other parts of myself .

[Vickie_CDTV]

In a sense, absolutely, but not in the gay vs straight sense. I like to dress up just like the kind of woman I am attracted to. My sexual orientation is hetero, but more specifically I am attracted to a specific kind of woman. Since I want to dress up and emulate the kind of women I am attracted to, yes, I would say my dressing and sexual orientation are highly linked.

[chantellevalen24]

I am under the impression that me wanting to feel pretty sometimes does not make me gay. I just like to look cute and attractive once in a while.

[Sandy Michaels]

My sexuality, which is Bisexual. has nothing to do with my dressing. I dress for my self, no one else. does dressing enhance my sex life, yes. but that's because dressing enhances just about everything in my life. dressing does not make me want to hook up with a male anymore than i do when i'm not dressed. i like to think that they compliment each other though, as part of my life at least.

[RADER]

I like to wear womens clothes; I like women and women only. I do not want to be with a man.
I guess I just like women to the point that I want to feel what a women feels by wearing their clothes.
I hope that made sense.
Rader

[Thera Home]

Same-sex fantasies are really common even with straight people. But, you also have to realize that sexuality isn't just about sex. Attraction isn't just about sex.

For some reason or another, feeling constipated and smoking a pipe does not sound like a good time for me. Forgive me for being blunt but thats the way I see it. Just my two cents

Thera

[Shananigans]

For some reason or another, feeling constipated and smoking a pipe does not sound like a good time for me. Forgive me for being blunt but thats the way I see it. Just my two cents

Thera

Quite the contrary...once it is over with, I hear it clears you right out! lol

I don't think every straight person has gay fantasies, but some do and some just wonder about it/are curious. This was actually a hilarious lecture for my human sexuality class in undergrad, because the class had TONS of questions. "So, my friend once made out with a guy to see what it was like...but, then, he realized that he didn't like it that much and likes girls a lot more. Does that mean he is kind of gay, or is it just because he was confused?" I learned waaaaaay too much about people in that class. We also spent a few lectures talking about paraphilias/fetishes and sex addiction... There was a really straight-laced girl in our class that I am sure has never heard such crap in her life. But, I remember her raising her hand one day and saying, "So...there are people out there that...get off...on the idea of eating their girlfriend alive." (Insert snickers from class). And, the professor said, "Yes, that person would be a vorarephile." The girl thought for a minute and said, "Well, shouldn't we do something about that...lock them up?" And, the professor said, "Well, this fetish is mainly fulfilled by fantasy and videos that other vorarephiles post online that mimic certain acts." Then, some dude blurts out, "WAIT! There is porn out there where people eat each other?!?" The professor nods. Then, the straight-laced girl mumbles, "I wish people like that had to wear a sign." And, my friend beside me said, "Well, that's what they did to the Jews. Those people can't help it if bloody flesh turns them on...it's who they are." (Subtle sarcasm). Then, the professor said, "Remember that these paraphilias may only be in fantasy...many people fantasize things without acting on them...now, onto paraphilic infantilism...or, the 'adult baby.'" I really miss that class. I think I see society in a whole different light now (a more amusing one)...and, I think that poor girl may never have sex with anyone ever.

[Brittany CD]

I become more attracted to women the more I crossdress

[susancheerleader]

Just wondering if early crossdressing had an influence on your sexual preferences later in life? Why or why not? This question is open to everyone.

I am not gay. But I do like to dress.
Other then the clothes I choose to wear, my sexual preferences have not changed.

[Lorileah]

For some reason or another, feeling constipated and smoking a pipe does not sound like a good time for me. Forgive me for being blunt but thats the way I see it. Just my two cents

Thera

Well we each have our own ideas I guess but what really confuses me on this type of statement is how men assume that the women they are with would find the same activity a "good time" and they ask her to do that for them.:idontknow:
How it seems OK for a woman to do that for a man but not ok for a man to do that for a man.

I go to gay bars dressed frequently. I never worry about gay guys asking me to be with them because in general gay guys don't want a guy in a dress. I get hit on more when I wear jeans and a polo shirt. So the whole gay/dressing thing to me is moot. It happens that I am bi. I find some men to be very sexually attractive. Not all and even not most. But it has nothing to do with the clothing I am wearing. It may to some of them but I explain that when the dress comes off, there are things that don't fit the illusion. (and technically they are probably not "gay" either)

To expand on what others have said about gender confusion when dressed, I was in the same boat so to speak. I assumed early on that since I liked wearing skirts I was gay. But to add to my experience I DID like guys. So I was convinced I was gay (luckily I had a wife and several friends who explained that there was a third option). I still believe that if the right guy came along I could live with them. So far that has not happened and I have been fortunate that because I had a choice (in my mind) I found two wonderful women. If I had been gay, I would have missed out on that.

[kimdl93]

The idea of crossdressing making you gay is like the idea that wearing a Little Mermaid T-shirt making you a better swimmer.

Damn....I was hoping it might help.

But seriously, the point has been repeatedly made in this thread and elsewhere that Gender Identification and Sexual Preference are two different things. You can be a straight, gay or bi without being a CDr and similarly you can be a CDr and be straight, gay or bi. You may also be either right or left handed.

I happen to be a right handed, TG and bisexual in a monogamous heterosexual long term relationship. Curiously, my bisexual experiences have never occurred while I've been dressed en femme...and were definately more of the m/m variety. My observation is that the same sensations that appeal to men and women in heterosexual relations pretty much work the same in homosexual relations. So I'd differ with Gore Vidal...there are no homosexual "acts", there are homosexuals, bisexuals and heterosexuals.

[Shananigans]

You may also be either right or left handed.

This is preposterous. Everyone knows that left-handed people are possessed by the Devil.

But, yeah, seriously...I'm always surprised at how often this type of thread comes up. I think it has to do with the effeminate, gay stereotype. I may have said this before...if so, I'm sorry...but, I run into a lot of gay guys at the gym. I know a couple gay guys that are kind of girlie...but, I mean, they don't dress like girls...they just come off kind of girlie. However, there are tons of gay dudes getting really buff at the gym. It probably has something to do with that whole "being attracted to the male image" thing, so they want to be as buff and masculine as possible. You know...like a dude that would be attractive to a guy that also likes guys.

[kimdl93]

This is preposterous. Everyone knows that left-handed people are possessed by the Devil. .

And ambidexterous people are the progeny of Pan and Aphrodite....and coincedentally are almost always bisexual!

I have to echo Shana here - I hang out at gay clubs from time to time in my female form. I've been approached by a number of quite attractive young women, but never by a gay man. I'm not what they're looking for. Its hard wired into us...

[Shananigans]

I'm not what they're looking for.

It's okay, doll...I'm not either. Who needs those gay guys, anyway!!! ;) lol

[whowhatwhen]

For some reason or another, feeling constipated and smoking a pipe does not sound like a good time for me. Forgive me for being blunt but thats the way I see it. Just my two cents

Thera

Everyone says that until they find their prostate...

[sissy4444]

I wouldnt say they are unrelated. In fact I never had any REAL bi tendencies until I began to dress. The more I wanted to be a women the I felt pushed/pulled to the traditional gem submissive role twords a man. I would not have considered it before... But now I feel like its has to do with the situation. Being treated like a lady makes me melt. Having a man hold my hand and hold the door while dressed makes me feel so much more fem. I fully understand that my dressing is abou gender .. But male companionship when I'm being a women seems to validate the traditional female role I'm so turned on my.

Anyone feel the same.


Crossdressing and sexual orientation are unrelated. Moreover, one's sexual orientation is not a preference, it's genetic. crossdressing does not make you gay and being gay does not make you want to crossdress.

[Billiebluenose1878 GG]

Nahhhh ... crossdressing dont make you gay ... if you are gay ..you are gay ... not what you are wearing .....xxxx

[Lorileah]

And ambidexterous people are the progeny of Pan and Aphrodite....and coincedentally are almost always bisexual!

...


I thought they were afropandities


I wouldnt say they are unrelated. In fact I never had any REAL bi tendencies until I began to dress. The more I wanted to be a women the I felt pushed/pulled to the traditional gem submissive role twords a man.

Anyone feel the same.

I never felt like skydiving until I was in a plane. You know yourself better than anyone else so we will accept the fact, however, I believe you are playing out the fantasy of what you believe a woman would do. I say this because you say "traditional" and "submissive" which women today are not either (unless they want to be). The questions I ask of you are 1) have you ever tried a man? and 2) if not do you believe you can go through with it?

[Thera Home]

Well we each have our own ideas I guess but what really confuses me on this type of statement is how men assume that the women they are with would find the same activity a "good time" and they ask her to do that for them.:idontknow:
How it seems OK for a woman to do that for a man but not ok for a man to do that for a man.

I go to gay bars dressed frequently. I never worry about gay guys asking me to be with them because in general gay guys don't want a guy in a dress. I get hit on more when I wear jeans and a polo shirt. So the whole gay/dressing thing to me is moot. It happens that I am bi. I find some men to be very sexually attractive. Not all and even not most. But it has nothing to do with the clothing I am wearing. It may to some of them but I explain that when the dress comes off, there are things that don't fit the illusion. (and technically they are probably not "gay" either)

To expand on what others have said about gender confusion when dressed, I was in the same boat so to speak. I assumed early on that since I liked wearing skirts I was gay. But to add to my experience I DID like guys. So I was convinced I was gay (luckily I had a wife and several friends who explained that there was a third option). I still believe that if the right guy came along I could live with them. So far that has not happened and I have been fortunate that because I had a choice (in my mind) I found two wonderful women. If I had been gay, I would have missed out on that.

Dear Lorileah
Dont attach anything to your crossdressing. Homosexuality is homosexuality, its in our bloodline. You have the freewill to choose whatever you desire. Nobody can take that from you. Question is, Do you feel right about it?


just my 1 bit

Thera

[Marcie R.]

It's an interesting subject, "Does crossdressing make you Gay?". I love dressing in all my beautiful feminine clothing but the idea of being gay or straight doesn't enter into it. We (males) are one of the only species on earth that are not the flamboyant, colorful, representation of the species. Think of the birds with all their color, they are the males, as well as other creatures, in which the males, are the most beautiful. Therefore I have come to the conclusion, we as crossdressers, are trying to be the most beautiful representives of our species.