Small steps equal giant results

[natacsha]

It's been about a month now and I think I understand a little more where this is going. It creeps me out and yet I simultaneously feel completely comfortable with it. I expressed how I have only recently become accepting of CDing TGism and that I am bi. the feelings and emotions I began to feel upon this was too much for me to handle. I felt like I was in a constant state of disarray and everything had become backwards from what I had always known.

It was a heavy, heavy process but I also felt good about myself for being able to let go of the guilt. Since, ...except for relatives or direct family, though they knew from a decade ago but thought it ended back then, I have opened up to nearly everyone I know and everyone has been extremely cool about it. :) I even flaunt my already naturally feminine self even further around them, but I try to make sure at the same time to maintain the manhood of the friend they have always known....but I'm just more....ummm...cute? me? around them now....cause I can be...and they always loved that part about me....which, in a way, sucks for me cause I always identified myself as cute, and cute is for girls, but that's what I always was so now I like being called cute. :heehee:.

Grrrr....Now to the serious Shtuff. 2 days ago, I marched my butt into Wallgreens to buy make-up for the first time in nearly 7 years or so. I hated buying make up because as a guy who does love women...and yes I really do love my women, I shake to the ground when I'm in the make-up isle and there is a good looking girl standing there cause that basically kills any chance I may/could/should/would have with them. I normally turn around like I'm lost and stare aimlessly and I walk real fast...in the other direction!! But I read a post here from someone a week ago or so, "walk in there like you own the place"!!! (whoever you are, reveal yourself for credit earned because that's exactly what I did!!))) I owned that isle in wallgreens for a solid 15 minutes!! Nothing or no one could penetrate my wall!! Dang...what color foundation did I use?? uufff So I gathered my stuff and I normally have no problem with SA's so making the purchase wasn't tooooo difficult. my palms did sweat like crazy though. I got home, did the do, and it looked absolutely HORRIBLE!!! here I am, awaiting this moment for many years and I couldn't even enjoy it. I was SO upset. Anyways, next day, I'm at wallgreens 30 min after they open. I didn't know what to do so I decided I was gonna ask the SA if I could exchange the foundation for the right color. She said sure. I then asked if she would help me find the right color. (pause for dramatic effect) I've never, ever...evrevrvevr...asked anyone for help with this. just too embarrassing. But I did. and it was awesome. she couldn't help me out. lol instead, just after I work up the courage with this girl, she tells me she will direct me to someone in that dept. She was really cool about it though. Now I had to contend with a middle aged, middle eastern women (don't judge me, my family comes from that part of the world. thanks though mo mo) and yet and still...I owned the place. Things went smooth. she asked if it was for me and I said..mmmhmm. I said "why, it that strange to you"? she replied, "no, just wanted to see for your complexion" with her cute little accent Lol I was feeling unstoppable.

I went home and waited. I stared at basically my favorite outfit....the only outfit I really have (going shopping REEAALLL SOOONN) and the $55 I just spent on make up. I started to get the butterflies and heart flutters and oohhhhh myyyyy. I couldn't wait so I did myself up as best as I could remember. I wasn't exactly pleased with the effect but I didn't have the patience to keep redoing it over and over and over. So I just let it be after the first application. Overall, I was happy. I forgot how good it feels to be able to do my make up. I forgot how good I feel when it's on... well, good and bad.

there seems to be a scent that I am starting to smell more and more and it's when I am feeling my most feminine....in drab or en femme. It smells arousing like some kinda pheromone or something. I have no idea. all i know is that I was with a friend and he asked if I was wearing womens deodorant...no. I wasn't. but I didn't have the heart to tell him that it may be coming from me.

Is that even physically possible?

Thank you for reading and being there...

Natacsha :battingeyelashes: XOXOXOX

[Eryn]

...I hated buying make up because as a guy who does love women...and yes I really do love my women, I shake to the ground when I'm in the make-up isle and there is a good looking girl standing there cause that basically kills any chance I may/could/should/would have with them....

Umm, who says? Maybe that particular woman would be tickled by meeting a guy who is interested in makeup. Be bold, say "hello," ask questions, and enjoy yourself. She's a lot more likely to be attracted to a confident male who wants to know about makeup than to a shy guy trying to hide in the next aisle! :)

And, if she reacts negatively, what have you lost? Not a thing!

[natacsha]

Umm, who says? Maybe that particular woman would be tickled by meeting a guy who is interested in makeup. Be bold, say "hello," ask questions, and enjoy yourself. She's a lot more likely to be attracted to a confident male who wants to know about makeup than to a shy guy trying to hide in the next aisle! :)

And, if she reacts negatively, what have you lost? Not a thing!

I love the optimism! Actually, that would be the ideal place to meet a girl that may be accepting of it. :D Thanks Eryn! xoxox

[Tina B.]

I love the smell of grease paint in the morning! that's a sign it's going to be a great day! You haven't done make up in seven years, and you thought you wouldn't need to practice up a bit before it goes the way you want it to? If I don't do make up for a month, I feel like it takes a couple times to get it right, after seven years, it's like learning all over again. But the practicing is so much fun! By the time you use up that $55 worth of make up, you should be a pro at it.
Tina B.

[Leila Be]

Thanks so much for sharing. My interest/desire developed over many years of breaking down preconcieved notions and concepts. I really enjoyed reading your story and found it inspirational. Best of luck!

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Nat, when you are ready and able post some pics of yourself all dolled up Hon.:)

[natacsha]

Hi Girls! I showed a few friends and they think the pictures should go up asap. I am my own worst critique and to my standards, I thought the make-up looked ok...but definitely not picture worthy. They felt otherwise. I'm gonna post up the ones they suggested.....maybe later today. Tina, the smell of grease paint?? hahaha If that's what get's your mojo going in the morning,,,I hate to think of the scent that helps you sleep!! lol

Kate- why the ultimate peer pressure?? lol Like I need that to add to my already nerve curling toes?? XOXOXO



Thanks so much for sharing. My interest/desire developed over many years of breaking down preconcieved notions and concepts. I really enjoyed reading your story and found it inspirational. Best of luck!

Leila, you pay the utmost compliment!! thank you for reading and enjoying. I post my stories just as most, for your entertainment only!! Inspirational is a bonus. Thanks a bunch babe!! XOXOX

[Marcia Blue]

Natasha, your story, reminds me so much of some of my early shopping trips. Glad you stuck it out and achieved your goal.

[Kate Simmons]

No pressure Nat. Just a suggestion Hon.;):)