So are you too old or too young to live your life?

[Nicole Erin]

Guess I could have posted this here instead of tid-bitting it in PMs to a couple members. They were polite PM's, anyways -

When you are younger, people say, "You should wait to transition after (this or that) happens"
When you are older, the stellar words are "To be really successful at transition, you have to start young, it is too late now".
So which one is right? I guess the words "opportunity cost" are not being thrown around much these days. (scoff) me and my outdated lingo. :o FER SUUURE!

Yeah so this "You are too young, oh wait now you are too old" get used in many areas. Pretty women want older men, then a man ages, now you are a "creepy old dude". Kids think when they are adults, they can do anything they want. Adults think kids can do anything they want.

Boy that grass, I guess Scott's and Pennington worked together cause LOOK! That grass is really greener on THAT side over there.

So when do people realize they need to live their own lives? When do they realize that if they let others' guide their footsteps, they will surely stumble?

And that whole thing about "how you should do this or that if to live as a woman". I don't get that either.

Look, TBH if I had the cash for a lot of surgeries, i would do it. But I cannot afford it. Instead of waiting for that day, I started living not so much as a woman but AS I SEE FIT. I figured it doesn't matter if I cannot have SRS cause so what if I did? A TS still cannot get pregnant, rid the XY, or erase the past. Changing bone structure is out of the question too. Big hands and feet, broad shoulders and narrow hips? Sure. So what? None of that stops the financially stable TS from living. It sure doesn't stop us "poor working-class" girls either.

So are you too old to live your life for you or are you too young and waiting for better days to arrive?

[Bree-asaurus]

I started living [...] AS I SEE FIT.

I think you answered your own question with that sentence there.

I think the advice you read varies depending on what the advice givers are hearing from the person in need. I also think that if you're smart, you'll take all this advice you get from all across the board and make your own decision that fits you. I know when I post my opinion or give advice, it is greatly biased towards my personal experiences... so I never expect someone to believe me 100%. I'm just throwing my two cents in along with everybody else so the person seeking help can get a wide variety of responses.

If any single person had the perfect answer for what to do, we'd be celebrating the second coming of Jesus... lol.

Me? I had no choice... by the time I had accepted I was TS, I had already done enough struggling and it got to the point where I had to be myself or... that's basically it. I didn't really choose to begin transition ASAP, it was the choice that was made for me. If I knew earlier, I would have began transition as early as possible. It's easier to transition while you're young, still in the education system, etc. Even if it doesn't go perfect, you have your whole life to readjust.

[LisaMallon]

The younger the better basically, ideally pre-puberty..
Physically the advantages are obvious of course, but you also have a much better chance to create your whole new life and find your own way in society.

Older is tougher, but a lot of us do it. I'm in my 50s, the only good thing about it is that I'm not in my 60's.

You are too old the day after you die basically.

[janet54]

I am older and I live my life as I want to and my wife is there with me. I am not ts but if one is I think the younger would be better for that person to start on that journey.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Many will say the sooner you start on some thing the better.

Well i dont buy that not one bit,

Theres a time to do the ground work , till the ground , a time to plant, sow the seed, a time to water. rain , & after the crops have grown , a time to pick & enjoy the eating thereof,

May be i see things very differently. one reason being im as you know im intersexed,& for much of my life has been governed by the time had to be .....right.....not before or after.

Many many things have taken place for me just at the right time, people were in the right place at the time i needed them,

This of cause is about transition though really has no meaning or bearing on what happened for me.as is with being different, yet there are some things that do relate to myself.

So had i been given to have surgery though i had had others surgerys before haveing my female surgery done,
while i was young would i have been ready a very strong .....NO......would the people i needed to help me would they have been there for me, again ....NO.....im allmost 65 so think back 55 years, it would not have happened or worked. trust me i know what the Dr;s would have said . off to the .....nut house.......in the white van being taken there by the men in white, i think you get my picture.

!7 years ago was the right time for what i was going to go through because i was prepared mentally , emoitonally & Phyclogically i was strong enough to go through .....HELL.....for 8 years. & that i did & Jos is included as well.

I knew well ahead how i would be prepared what that ment then no idear till later when my time was right. Think of my life like the clock a time for all things to take thier course at the right timeing ,

I had no fear no concerns no worrys not even the slightest bit of dought, I had to go through a lot of issues & detail concerning my self as a person, nothing at all as to wether i
was / am male / female yet its all of what i went through to be able to be where i am now with out my past or had it been different i dought very much id be here now.

So some may think other wise & this does not apply to them & thats cool. This is about our lifes Jos & myself & hard & tough as it was this is what has got us through, i know i had to go through this part of my life to become a very strong woman even though i was born both male /female.

So my ? would be was the timeing of my life & all that took place , was it right , for my self ....very much so.....

...noeleena...

[Kathryn Martin]

Why would anyone wait to live their lives - and what would you be while waiting

[Antoinette]

It doesn't matter what age you are. When you feel ready to make a life changing decision you'll do it. As long as you're happy with it and can live comfortably the feelings in the end would be the same. Hope that makes sense

[Jonianne]

Old or young, when the time is right for you, cross the stream.

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream "ABBA"

[Stephanie-L]

This is a question I sometimes ponder myself. If I knew then what I know now, would I have done it then, maybe. I suspected I was "different" when I was a teen, knew I was when in my 20s, and was doing something about it in my 40s. In that time I got married, had two wonderful children, started a great career and generally lived a good life. If I had started much younger physically it would be much better, the hormones would have worked better, and in some ways I would have had a more fulfilling life living as a woman. But, I would not have my kids, probably would not have the great job I have now, and of course would be a totally different person. I would not miss my marriage except for the kids, and might even have found some nice person to be with after transition. All of that said, physically, yes, earlier is better in most folks, mentally/emotionally, it varies, some are ready, some not. I feel the best day to begin transition is the day you decide you are trans, the only day you can't start is the day after you die. And to answer those who say that some transition too young, yes, kids need more attention, counselling, etc than an adult, but a teen or pre-teen does have an idea of what they are. Perhaps they should wait a while before starting hormones, etc, but at least they should be talking to someone about this and exploring options. Just my "Totally Unbiased" opinion..............Stephanie

[juno]

Earlier is always better for the physical result of hormone therapy. I would say that the only reason to ever delay transition is because you are currently in an unsupportive environment, and expect that to change. However, being a teenager can be difficult, and suicide rates are higher during transition, so it may not be the best time for some people. If you do wait for any reason, it would be good to do something to prevent unwanted effects of maturing in the wrong direction.

If you are F2M, it may help to use your male privilege (which ideally should not exist) to get into a better college. However, that also means having to explain why your degree is in a different name. Besides, you can probably function better as a female, so any male privilege advantages may be offset by your misery living as a male.

Herbal supplements can be helpful and safe, and there is evidence that herbal therapy before starting full HRT results in a better response to prescription hormones.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i like the word opportunity cost!!

I think its productive to think of transition the same way you do about business...everything matters in business and in the end, the best case is about the sum of the parts...sometimes you hate how you get there...sometimes you are in a bad spot, sometimes in a good spot.. but you are ALWAYS best off thinking of the past as unchangeable and only about what the best future course should be...

i waited too long, i made mistakes...i over invested in male life...i never got a young female life which haunts me today...however, i have wonderful loving kids, i am best friends with my ex, and i made enough $$ to easily afford transition totally on my terms...in the end, i did it..here i am...it is what it is..

if i look back and rue the past, it only hurts me going forward..

[Diane Elizabeth]

Only you can decide when is the right time to transition. In my case my "right time" came later in life. Personally, I wish I did this sooner in life. Each of us is different so the "right time" is different. Earlier transition has the benefit of HRT doing the most good, Less electrolysis- more lasisk for the beard (most cases). More time in life to enjoy who you become. Just don't push yourself into transitioning before you are ready. Only you can tell when that time is the "right time".