Going stealth? How much of the past are you able to erase?

[ColleenA]

A friend of mine had GRS at 21, got a replacement birth certificate to show F, changed her name and driver's license, of course. She even had the name on her high school transcripts changed for when she applied to college. Other than family, she's held on to only one close friend and one casual friend from before her transition. (She and I met during.) She feels there is no reason most people in her life currently need to know anything about her earlier life.

One or two years after completing transition, however, when applying for a job (part-time Christmas help to supplement her regular income), she got feedback from the company that there was a problem with her Social Security number. A background check revealed two names using that number. You can guess that the other was her old, "retired" name. But she didn't want to tell them that, so she indicated it might be a case of identity theft.

She went to SS and applied for a new number. They were resistant, mainly because they don't want it to be too easy for people to hide their past. She had to jump through a number of hoops, including telling them her life had been threatened by some people (an exaggeration, but not completely untrue).

Well, she did get a new number. Because she had transitioned on her main job, her file there was updated to show her new name and SSN. Since then, she just doesn't refer to any work history prior to age 20 on job applications.

For her, of course, transitioning young and leaving her hometown made it a lot easier to wipe out connections to her previous life. I am wondering what others have done about their SSN and other things that can be traced back to their past.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Hi Colleen,

Despite my name change being sealed by the court when applying for positions after that was done background checks have pulled up two names under my SSN as well.
I that point I told them that I'm Intersexed and transitioned to my correct gender.



Julia

[Jorja]

I guess I have been extremely lucky. I have never had my old name come up during a security check. I think a lot of it has to do with who is making the computer entries into the data banks. Sometimes it pays to have a sister who does that type of work in the state where one makes those changes. ;)

[Sally24]

With the number of databases available it is extremely dificult to totally erase your past. Any private companies that have your information will probably not delete or update them. The best option is to try to get a new SS number and seperate yourself by name and geography from any of your past. Easier said then done.

[Sandra1746]

If you are going for a Government security clearance, especially if a polygraph is involved, don't even try and hide your past. They WILL find it and then they really care because it becomes a lever that can be used against you (blackmail). If you tell them up front they likely won't care but they do not like surprises.

For other databases a clever data-miner would likely be able to trace your life; if it is worth their trouble (blackmail again). A lot depends on what you are doing. If you are going for a job as a clerk in a store they likely won't check too hard; it can be expensive. If however you are getting "bonded" or want some state certification then it gets more difficult. Appearing in the records at age "45" as a female with no verifiable prior history will raise a few red flags.

Hiding the past is hard, just ask the CIA or KGB,
Sandra1746

[juno]

I have no interest in going stealth. That makes it easy.

[CharleneT]

Your friend is lucky, she is young enough to go pretty darned stealth. For me at least, my age makes it impossible for me to go stealth. I can be pretty "quiet", but a $5 search would "out" me in a few minutes - nor is there any practical way for me to change that. Well, the Federal Witness Protection Program could arrange it !! Wonder what they charge ???

[Stephenie S]

While in this day and age of computerized records it is almost impossible to go totally stealth, you can (as Charlene relates) get pretty darned quiet. It all depends on how much effort you want to put into it.

Because records are still being computerized in many places, discrepancies can in many instances be blamed on computer entry error.

"Look, here's my DL and SS card. Obviously you guys made a mistake." Always blame the other guy!

[pamela_a]

I've always hated that description "Stealth" and it's implications. I'm not hiding anything or trying to "erase" anything.

I live my life as me, a woman. All of my ID and documents are correct and my school transcripts have been changed. I transitioned at my last job so any references from them would be correct. My new employer only knows me as I am now.

If anyone cares enough to go to the bother of looking up my history they'll probably find something.. but there isn't anything I can do about it and it's certainly not worth worrying about.

I never understood why so many people, especially trans people, seem to spend so much time and energy worrying about things that either don't matter (what will the person in public that I'll never see again think?) or are completely out of their control.

[Bree-asaurus]

I've always hated that description "Stealth" and it's implications. I'm not hiding anything or trying to "erase" anything.

I live my life as me, a woman. All of my ID and documents are correct and my school transcripts have been changed. I transitioned at my last job so any references from them would be correct. My new employer only knows me as I am now.

If anyone cares enough to go to the bother of looking up my history they'll probably find something.. but there isn't anything I can do about it and it's certainly not worth worrying about.

I never understood why so many people, especially trans people, seem to spend so much time and energy worrying about things that either don't matter (what will the person in public that I'll never see again think?) or are completely out of their control.

Nikki Araguz told me a week or so ago that people said she was living 'stealth.' She was like... "I'm living stealth? WTF? I'm just living my life..."

Apparently if you don't have a billboard hanging from your neck stating your transsexual, then you're stealth...

?!?!?!?!?!?

[ColleenA]

I never understood why so many people, especially trans people, seem to spend so much time and energy worrying about things that either don't matter (what will the person in public that I'll never see again think?) or are completely out of their control.

Well, for the friend I mentioned in the OP, one big reason was that for a few years during and after transition there were people she knew who would have taken violent action against her. She wanted to minimize as much as possible the chance they might successfully seek her out.

Beyond that, though, she generally doesn't like recalling her life pre-transition, what Bree called the "dark ages," I think. She received so much physical and sexual abuse throughout her life that she just wants to distance herself from it altogether.